BESH - relocated to less offensive surroundings

[cooperG]

Hi hags, here's our new thread. Did we decide to post the BESH-tionnaire or not? I'll have to go and dig it out if so..

Newbies - we think we're much like the ladies in the 'mind-numbing boredom of infertility' thread ladies, but we can't admit defeat, oh no. After the new recruits kind of dried up over in conception, we've moved over here where there are no insta-differs to send us into fits of rage/tears.

(BESH stands for Bitter Evil Selfish Hags - named so by the Daily Mail I think...) come and be bitter about the shit-ness that is infertility with us...

Thank you Rosebud and K8Liz

Love to all hags xx

Hags my heart goes out to you all. I can't imagine how painful those losses must be. And it must be so hard to try to grieve while coping with treatment. Will be thinking of you all this evening.

Thinking of all the littles ones we've lost and the brave mums and dads that keep persevering.

Hi Ladies,
Long time lurker here, I've just not had the courage to post before. Firstly, those of you who have lost your beloved babies, so sorry. My heart goes out to you, I can't even begin to understand your pain.
I've not had as rough a journey as some of you but I've just been baby bombed by my SIL, and I've spent the last 12 hours crying. I can't seen to stop, and fit the bitter hag description.
Thing is my SIL has been constantly crying since she got engaged last year that she is infertile and there is no chance of a baby for her. Well she came off the pill on her wedding day & got pregnant that month, but till last week was telling DH and me about her struggles accepting infertility! Yesterday she announces she is 13w, and asking me to guess if it's a boy or girl & suggest names!!! Then she goes on to say if she can get pregnant anyone can! After one whole month of trying. I held it together at the big family lunch, but started crying in the car, and haven't stopped yet.
I'm at 26months of TTC, finally diagnosed with make factor infertility. After loads of soul searching, counselling etc, we finally decided on ICSI with donor sperm, which is actually harder mentally on me than DH, who is a rock! Had egg collection this week, with FET to follow in Jan. Have two day 3d blasts frozen from this cycle, so it's not all doom and gloom, but such a long road still to go. Waiting to hear from docs about the next step.
I'm trying to focus on the fact we still have a chance, but it's the cruelty of my SIL to continue to bemoan her infertility while being pregnant that I just can't get over. DH doesn't get it, and we haven't discussed this widely, so I don't have anyone to rant on in RL, only more in laws who will definitely think I'm just bitter. Which I am I know. Just needed to get it out. Sorry for the rant!

I hope everyone is managing the best that they can today.

Decaf...welcome. All I can say, is that stupid people are stupid. She will never understand or truly see what you're going through, so personally I wouldn't try. That said, what a self obsessed -cunt- piece of work, no offence. A bit of perspective and gratitude for what she has would go a long way. Feel free to vent all here. I think it can be very helpful for keeping family harmony, lol.

Why is every moment taking sooooo long? Why am I having any hope and setting myself up for absolute soul crushing disappointment?

Thanks Place, it helps to have someone see it my way. Hope your 2ww ends with a BFP.

Hi ladies, welcome decaf, fingers crossed for January.

I had my second hcg blood test yesterday and had the results this morning. The hcg has increased but not as much as they would like so I'm no further forward and will need to wait for a scan in the morning to know if we have made any progress. The phone call was awful, the dr was asking my full history again, despite the fact they clearly have my whole fucking file in front of them, then asking questions like, so you think you're pregnant is that right? Then asking some more mundane questions. They started me thinking maybe I was crazy and not pregnant at all. And then building the suspense like its some fucking xfactor final. It was fucking appalling, so bad that I phoned back to give feedback to a more senior doctor. The doctor was playing with our emotions and generally just being a complete dick.

Hope you are all bearing up ok xx

Sam that doctor sounds utterly horrible, I'm really glad you complained. 'So you think you might be pregnant'- patronising git!! It must be such a hard wait until tomorrow, will be thinking of you.

Welcome decaf. You SIL sounds like an attention-seeking nightmare!! Can only imagine what she was like over their wedding ... I would recommend limiting contact with her as much as you can and tell your DH why ...MFI must be very hard, good for your DH for coping well with it. Well done on your two blasts though. Do you mind me asking why you're having an FET? Good luck and rant any time.

Place, well done on a smooth transfer (despite punchup) and good luck with the next two weeks in the twilight zone!! I know it's hellish. I like the sound of your lovely 2 -cell and a 7-cell-er. Sounds promising. FX for you and Rose! I guess you'll both be testing around the 27th?

K8liz thanks for the good wishes, sorry about the BFN. Hope this autumn goes by quickly for you and that happier times are ahead. Side note, I didn't know pro-lifers were allowed talk in schools these days ... Hm. Sounds grim all right.

My OTD is tuesday which will be 14 dpt ... But they said I can test tomorrow morning. Gulp. Wish me luck!

Also thinking of you Blueroses. I hope the candle played a small part in helping you to mark Jovan's memory.

Thanks Rebecca, the absolute best of luck for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you x

Do I think I'm pregnant? Do I think I'm fucking pregnant!? You'll be pregnant soon with my fist up your arse you miserable fuck! SoSam, after that only good things should happen for you. I'm really sorry you're in limbo hell. The last thing you need is some smug little git being blasé. What a dick! I really hope your scan shows things more clearly. Whatever happens we are here for you.

K8 your school day sounded like a special piece of hell. Reading your post made me have sinking feelings in my stomach for you, I can only imagine what kind of joke some cosmic power was playing on you. Why do these things have to be when we are fragile? Mr place has to teach subjects like sperm competition, mate selection etc, and that the whole purpose of an individual of a species is to mate and pass on its genetic material (after finding out he has no vas deferens and therefore azoospermia and then again as we were miscarrying - I might have said this before). The cruelty is too much. He took it really hard. Self esteem at zero.

Rose my otd is 28th, so one day behind you, although mine was only a 2dt and you had a blast, yes? I'm an unashamed poasacholic so will be testing way before then. How are you feeling? Any crazy symptom spotting? Ive been having awful aches low down and lower back all afternoon. Not poo pain ache but strong period pain type ache. So obviously I'm googling "how early can an embryo implant?" Knowing full well it's too early. But then I think, maybe our 7 cell has gotten carried away and is giving it a go? Moral of the story, I will not be handling this 2ww gracefully.

Rebecca, omg, I can't believe you've held out so long! So wishing you all the best for tomorrow. You are a woman made of steel! I will be hitting refresh for updates!

Blueroses and Erica...thinking of you hags.

Thanks this, by the way I think handling things with grace is totally over rated x

Decaf what a nightmare SIL! I've never heard of someone 'infertile' getting pregnant within a month 🤔 And to keep going on about while she's pregnant...unbelievable. We're for you.

Rosebud, Place and Rebecca everything crossed for you lovely hags.

SoSam what the actual...?! Hope tomorrow's scan is more helpful.

I had a v emotional day/night yesterday so all set for a lie in but as I'm down regging and should do it same time everyday (7.30), I managed to prep the needle and jab myself while half asleep. Useful skills.

Thanks for all the support Sam, Rebecca, blue roses. Am feeling a lot better.
Rebecca, my nhs clinic apparently has better success with FET for women with higher amh levels, so that was recommended to me. However right now January seems really far away...
Sam, good on you for complaining! It's amazing how little sensitivity is shown even by professionals sometimes.
blue

Morning hags ... well, we just got a faint but definite positive. Or a definite but faint positive??

In any case this Is the furthest we've ever got so we're both pleased. Blood test tomorrow.

Place, those cramps sound positive!!

K8liz Wow! With a friend like yours who needs enemies hey?! Did you set her straight?

Decaf Welcome! You may be bitter (as we all are) but your SIL sounds like a moron to be honest! I have a moronic SIL too (for different reasons) - I keep myself.as far away from her as I can at all times.
She sounds like an attention seeking idiot. Does she know what you are going through?

Sam good luck for your scan today X

Place Yes mine was a hatching blast but my clinic insist on OTD being 14 days later regardless of how developed the embryo is I will be swiftly ignoring their advice and testing earlier than 20dpo- that is just simply ridiculous!
Ive had some similar feelings to you- a bit of cramping and pinching, and one night of some pulling sensations.
But it's possible it's all in my head- such a headfuck isn't it?!

Rebecca yay!!!!! Fab news! Fingers crossed for a nice beta number tomoz. Are you 14dp5dt then?

Oooh! Congratulations Rebecca!! I felt for some reason this was your time!

Rebecca yay!!! 😊

Rebecca that is awesome news, congratulations.

We also had some good news today, we've have a yolk! scan next week to check for a heartbeat but so please today. Xx

Sam that's fabulous news, so exciting!

Hags! What an awesome Monday! Rebecca and Sam, delighted for you both!

Decaff welcome, hag. Sorry you found yourself here but there is not better place to get support and see you through this shitshow. Your SIL sounds a bit strange to be honest... I would also advise keeping your distance for a bit. On the other hand, my sister told me that she understood how I felt (after 5 years of TTC with no kids) because the one month she had to wait to get pregnant with her kids (she got a BFP on the second month of TTC with both), she felt so very disappointed

Place I am loving your rage!

Work is a bit mental at the moment so will catch up properly later. Not much to report though, I think I am CD9 (assuming that three day spotting was the droid) so I will use some OPKs at the end of the week to see if I am ov-ing or what.

Feeling way better than I did on Friday (not being hangover helps, ahem). Getting a wee bit excited about starting IVF - booking flights to get back to Europe, making appointments and what not... please cross your fingers so there are not too many hurdles between now and starting the stabbing sessions!

Sam, that's such great news!! So pleased and relieved for you. Roll on 6 week scan. Have you got a date for that?

Erica, your sister... OMG. You couldn't make it up. My friend who has been the most 'it'll be fine' was going nuts after 5 months... Good luck with the OPKs this weekend and wishing you a smooth route to stabbing. Blueroses is a pro with the needles by the sounds of it

Rose, today is day 13 but it was a 6 day blast ... But only a B grade one in fact. Thanks for the kind wishes guys. I'm trying not to let my mind race ahead!!

Erica, all things crossed for you. You're sister's reaction, hmmm, after this long, nothing surprises me, but it's appalling all the same. Sorry hag, esp as it's your sister as you would have hoped for a bit more understanding than that. Btw, I am ragey! I am blaming it on the steroids, but not sure it's all attributable to them, lol. A bit due to mil saying she would stay somewhere else while we where here, but she's been back since Saturday. It's her house and that's fine, I just wish she had have said so I could be staying elsewhere. All I want is my own space and not having to make chit chat with a lunatic!

SoSam, delighted to read your news! After the fuckwitery of your GP I'm so pleased you can have good news to focus on!

Yeah!!!! Rebecca and Sosam really pleased for you both. It's made my day

Thanks ladies, apologies for the typos earlier, but I was quite excited and in a bit of a rush! Next scan is next Monday so I will let you know more then.

Decaf, your sil sounds horrible as does your sister Erica. The 'I had to try a whole two months before I fell pregnant, so I know what you're going through' people are horrendously insensitive and just plain stupid.

This, that sucks that your mil is there. I remember how pleased you were when you thought you would have the place to yourself. Hope it's not too painful.

Rebecca, hope all goes ok tomorrow.

rebecca, Sam yeah! So happy for you!
rosebud ya, my SIL can be trying at the best of times, and this definitely not that! will do my best to limit exposure.
Hope the pinches you feel are embedding pains. And place too!
erica wow, would have thought a sister would be more sensitive! Best of luck for your for your cycle.