BESH - relocated to less offensive surroundings

[cooperG]

Hi hags, here's our new thread. Did we decide to post the BESH-tionnaire or not? I'll have to go and dig it out if so..

Newbies - we think we're much like the ladies in the 'mind-numbing boredom of infertility' thread ladies, but we can't admit defeat, oh no. After the new recruits kind of dried up over in conception, we've moved over here where there are no insta-differs to send us into fits of rage/tears.

(BESH stands for Bitter Evil Selfish Hags - named so by the Daily Mail I think...) come and be bitter about the shit-ness that is infertility with us...

Hello hags! Sorry if it was TMI re the scan description! I've had a lot of invasive scans etc over the years and this was the oddest! I'll hopefully hear from the clinic tomorrow as to whether they can see me this week.

Place good luck tomorrow. Hope mr place conquers his anxieties and can be more supportive.

Rosebud arse injections sound hardcore!

Rebecca fingers still crossed. Lack of symptoms don't mean anything. (I had no symptoms before OTD when I was pregnant)

Jen glad you're doing ok but yes, being uncomfortable with baby bombs/babies doesn't disappear overnight.

Cunt. Bunch of cunts.

The hospital cancelled mr places SSR because he said on his form that he hadn't had all the risks explained to him. So instead of sitting down with us and explaining the risks, they just flat out cancelled his procedure. I'm triggering tonight, too bad, oh well. They have a frozen sample where they saw 2 sperm (in a 20th). You lose half by freezing. It is more likely we will have no sperm than any. Bunch of absolute lying fucking cunts.

I can't believe it, Place. That is beyond awful. How did you find out? Don't tell me he arrived for the procedure and then they told him to go away?

I can't think of anything else to say except I'm so sorry - you must be so upset, not to mention raging and rightly so.

WTF?! How can they do that! I'm so sorry Place, that's beyond belief. Is there any chance at all of un-cancelling?

PS did you hear from the clinic Blueroses?

Thanks for the fist bump Stealth.

I am in bed and it's not even 9.30. Rock and roll.

Thinking of you, Place. X

Jen Great to hear that things are going ok so far; despite the dog tiredness.

Stealth!!!! Hello my lovely. Thanks for thinking of me and popping your head in. I lurk on the after infertility thread sometimes- just to check the 3 of you ladies are still doing well. I really hope I can join you before you all leave!

Fingers tightly crossed for good news tomoz Blueroses!

Place What utter utter bullshit! I've heard of some pretty shocking levels of incompetence at IVF clinics from ladies on these boards, but your experience really does take the absolute piss. Can you throw your toys out of the pram and insist they do it tomoz?

Rebecca I am also in bed by 9:30pm but unlike you I don't even have the excuse of being PUPO- clearly just a lazy cow! Lol
When do you plan to hold out testing until?

I got a message from the lovely nurse at the clinic. She said hopefully they'll be able to see me on Wednesday, she is chasing the consultant to do the paperwork for my protocol but can't book me in til she's got it. So I'll have to wait to see what happens tomorrow.

I think the tiredness is catching...I'm ready to crash x

Sorry BESH, I'm just beside myself. I've been in tears all day. They won't do anything. They're being very nasty actually. We asked very gently if we can refill in any form or come in and have any questions answered. They said we had a chance to ask questions in our first appointment (wtf?) and that it's been cancelled and someone else now has that surgical slot. I can't stop crying and this is not like me. Just blown away by this treatment. I'm on another board and have told my story and am having other people come in and say they have been treated badly too.

I triggered last night, so have to go in and have my follicles aspirated so I don't get ohss. I'm full of hcg ironically, it's just so fucking heartbreaking. These miserable fucking pricks can go home tonight to their lovely families and pat little johnny on the head and feel very good about themselves I'm sure.

This, that is truly appalling, I'm so sorry x

I just can't believe it Place. I've never heard anything so appalling in terms of treatment from a clinic. You poor thing, you must be in bits.

PS Rose, my OTD is next Tues - a whole 2 weeks post 6 day transfer!! I have to go into hospital for a blood test and they phone with result. I might do a HPT morning of, or realistically morning before. I'm not tempted to test early - too much of a rollercoaster.

However after seeing update from Place I feel lucky to have got this far

Place I've been thinking about you all day, you've every right to be upset and furious. I hope the EC tomorrow goes well and you get a good crop. (Is there any chance that they can freeze the eggs?)

Rebecca Fx for Tuesday (Monday ). My clinic don't do blood tests as standard, just a HPT (they give out a Clue Blue digital) 16 days after EC. I totally agree about not testing too early, not being able to trust the result is a crazy mindgame.

AFM I'm back at the clinic tomorrow for a coordination appointment, I'll get all the dates and drugs doses etc confirmed and hopefully start jabbing on Friday.

Thanks for your thoughts hags, it means so much atm

They have 9 usable eggs...that was never the issue though. We had a good chat with the embryologist who I could see a lot of sympathy in her eyes and she is working very hard to find sperm. So far they found 4 but only one that looks any good. She is still trying to see if anymore wake up but not looking good. We will know if any fertilise by the morning but it is unlikely. The whole issue is that there is so much blood in the sample it makes it hard to see the sperm. In my opinion (and mr place has had this procedure done before with success elsewhere) is that it is all down to technique and FS techniques are out of date. We are both scientists and have been doing a lot of reading and their processes are very basic and dated.

I managed to tell our story to the nurse looking after us and as we had a different FS do the egg collection, I had a 2 second opportunity to say what has happened wasn't right and it was unethical and he gave a sympathetic nod.

No one would talk to us and kept mumbling that they can't say anything and to begin with they had 2 embryologists come in, like we're dangerous or something. But when she came back the second time she was curious as to our side of things and she offered us what she had been told was the problem (because it was clear that there had been a big meeting about us) Here goes: because mr place had concerns and questions about a general anaesthetic, FS felt that when he signed the consent form, he wasn't actually consenting, but rather he was relenting...which could expose FS to allegations of assault. Those were her words...here's my response and excuse the pun, but balls! What a petty vindictive attitude, when all he had to do was make 10 minutes of his time available to talk through the concerns. Patient care at absolute zero. All about covering his backside. Very wrong considering I had been down regging and stimulating and going through a GA of my own, just so most of my eggs could be binned and the remaining injected with poor sperm.

Anyway that's the story. We are not holding out hope, because that's just setting us up for more heartbreak. We are just trying to look into other clinics that can offer a better service and are better at their job.

I'm sorry to dominate the thread and I haven't forgotten about the rest of you!

Place I am without words- it is simply indefensible and cruel. You have been treated appalling, and I hope that in time you feel able to make a formal complaint and see someone held officially responsible for this.

Is it not possible to freeze the eggs that have been collected and fertilise them at another time once the SSR has been done? I'm sorry if that's a really dumb question.

Blueroses good luck for your appointment tomorrow!

They don't freeze eggs there.

Is there any chance of transferring eggs to somewhere where they do freeze eggs? (Sorry you've probably considered all the relevant options but I go into problem solver mode in a crisis.)

I'm so sorry that you're going through this place. There are other, better, clinics out there definitely. I can recommend one in London if that helps.

I did have my coordination appointment this morning, start down regging on Friday. Drugs can't be delivered tomorrow so they will deliver Friday morning, hopefully early. Just need to put in a working from home request... Oh I'm also have an endometrial scratch next week - has anyone had one before? First I've heard of it so don't know what that's about.

Place, what a horrible sequence of events. Don't worry, you're not dominating the thread, this is big stuff. And it's really good to know that this kind of thing can happen so we can be aware. Hope you can have some tonight to help destress.

Blueroses, good news on the downregging - deep breaths! I haven't had a scratch but I'm sure someone more knowledgable will be along.

Hump day to all.

I had a scratch. Some good data out there to show it helps with implantation. Like an embryo transfer. Very painful for me, but other's have said it wasn't bad for them.

This, the treatment you have received is unbelievable. Is it something you would like to contact the HFEA about? I know it doesn't help you right now but it may be therapeutic to report their behaviour to the officials.

blue roses, I'm glad you're on your way. I've not had a scratch so can't help I'm afraid.

Rebecca, I hope the wait is going ok. Blood test sounds good, I just had the piss sticks

AFM, I am still in 'crazy paranoid' mode. Having very real nightmares of miscarrying, and I'm still checking (expecting) blood each time I go to the loo etc. I've got my scan in the morning so probably won't sleep tonight but I'm trying to be hopeful.

Hope everyone else is doing well x

Oh btw, I want to name and shame...so, it's the Woking Nuffield hospital, Victoria wing. Mr brook and Caroline Lewis are the consultant and head nurse respectively. These are the two that have made our lives miserable. Future ivfers BEWARE!

Thanks Place - noted. Hope you're ok.

Sam, I have everything crossed for your scan t

Tomorrow! Sorry. Fat fingers. Is this 6 weeks? Sorry, have lost track.

Also thinking of you Jen - you're getting closer all the time. X

I'm not to sure on the dates because my last bleed was a cp so it's hard to tell. It should be 6 weeks but it may be less, poss closer to 5 weeks.

Good luck today SoSam!!

Omg! 2 fertilised!! Putting them both back tomorrow. Unbelievable!