BESH - relocated to less offensive surroundings

[cooperG]

Hi hags, here's our new thread. Did we decide to post the BESH-tionnaire or not? I'll have to go and dig it out if so..

Newbies - we think we're much like the ladies in the 'mind-numbing boredom of infertility' thread ladies, but we can't admit defeat, oh no. After the new recruits kind of dried up over in conception, we've moved over here where there are no insta-differs to send us into fits of rage/tears.

(BESH stands for Bitter Evil Selfish Hags - named so by the Daily Mail I think...) come and be bitter about the shit-ness that is infertility with us...

Sam I've had to buy a pill organiser to have any chance of getting my meds right each day- with supplements as well as all the FET and immune meds, I am rattling!
Jabs (progesterone) start on 8th Oct all being well with my lining scan on 5th!

Place great to hear that you have started stimming now! I have my lining scan on Weds so we will not just be 2ww buddies (all being well) but also scan buddies. How are you finding the meds so far? Any side effects?
Is Mr Place any better now?

Jen absolutely fantastic news- congratulations! I imagine the fear will never fully leave but a great first step x

Blue Yes I'm having treatment in the Czech Republic at Reprofit. It's much cheaper there but the care is amazing. It makes the logistics of organising each cycle tricky but the savings make that a small price to pay in our eyes. Women on MN recommended them to me!

I have my first intrapilids infusion tomorrow (eek!) DH is driving me to London straight from work, bless him. Then my lining scan is on Weds. My abdomen feels bloated and achey so I'm hoping its thickening up.

K8liz thinking of you. Hope you are ok?

Rebecca how are things going? What stage are you at now?

Hi lovely ladies. Place you didn't upset me at all I'm just struggling at the minute. I've started my period 4 days early again!! Since my last miscarriage, my periods have been all over the place which is just so annoying / frustrating .
I've been reading / keeping up todate with everyone though.
Jen I'm so pleased you've seen a heartbeat . I think the anxiety is natural but hopefully the further you get into your pregnancy you it will fade.
Rosebud I'm interested in your experience of IVF abroad at Reprofit, it sounds positive. It may be an option for us in the future.
Good luck to both place and Rose with your new cycles. I'll be thinking of you all xx

(My treatment was at Reprofit, they were brilliant)

Hi hags! Sorry I've been awol. Been busy and also in quite a lot of pain from an old back problem :( hoping it clears up soon - as FET transfer is on Tuesday! Gulp. We have a holiday booked at start of November - going to the States! - so it's BFN at least I can have lots of wine and margaritas.

kliz sorry this is such a hard time of year - and that you're having crazy periods just adds insult to injury. Hang in there

Rose, you're off! Good luck with the lining scan and so exciting that you've got a date for your transfer. How does that work with school - is it OK to take time off? Keeping everything crossed that this is your time.🍀

Place, great that you're getting started ... I really hope that the stims go OK and that you get a decent response. Fingers crossed. Is Mr Place feeling any better? Re you looking like a junkie, I'm surprised we're not all on hard drugs (of the non-IVF variety) at this stage. 🍀 for you too!!

How are you doing Blueroses? I'm not sure if you're still recovering or contemplating next steps - whichever it is I hope you're being looked after and being kind to yourself.

How are you Sam, getting any sleep?

Jen thanks for the good wishes - wonderful news on the scan! Hurray.
Good to know that all this works sometimes ...

Erica, hope you're doing OK.
Go BESH-es! [shakes pompoms]
waves to everyone else

Rebecca, you're right. It should be an automatic dual prescription. "Here is your buserilin and here is your heroin. Menopur and crack...now don't go speed balling, not good for baby!" Sorry you're in pain. If it helps to know you're not alone, I am too. Although still using my pain meds, thanks bananafish ! Good luck for transfer tomorrow. So great you have a hol to look forward to! Mmm bloody marys and sunshine!

K8, just know we are all here for you if you need us.

Rosebud, yay for scan buddies! No side effects so far, how about you? Will def be following your treatment. I don't have a lot of confidence in our current clinic so will be looking for a good clinic once our funding runs out. Good luck for your intralipids tomorrow. I'm sure it will be a breeze.

Mr place has gotten through whatever it is that he had. Of course now I think that the fever has killed off any sperm that might have been there. Off to mil tomorrow. Thankfully she has decided to go away and visit a friend giving us the place for the week covering ec/SSR and et...so that was good of her. Only need to deal with her for a few days. Will be on my best behaviour, and if not I can blame the meds

K8liz- happy to answer any questions you may have if/when you have them. It has been a very positive experience for us so far, and it allows us to have some time away to rest whilst undergoing treatment which is a nice "extra". We managed 2 days in Vienna as part of our first cycle!
Our last FET cost us £800 inc all drugs, treatment, flights accommodation and spending money! This time it's going to be closer to £1000 but that's with all the immunes meds and intrapilids added in too.
Do you know when your oving? Maybe your MC has brought your ov forward by 4 days rather than making your luteal phase shorter?

Rebecca Fantastic news that your FET is tomorrow. That seems to have come round super fast. Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Yes I'm very lucky that my work are extremely understanding about time off for IVF and give me 10 paid days off spread over 3 cycles. I've taken 6 so far and will be taking 3 more with next FET.
What are you doing about time off? Back to work on Weds? Or have you booked some time off? X

Place just bloating for me so far so nothing to speak of really! Having my intrapilids now and it's actually really relaxing being forced to sit and do nothing for 2 hours!
If illness killed off sperm, no one would ever get pregnant..... so much man flu around these days I'm sure he will produce the goods when needed but I understand your worry. Nothing is ever simple is it?! Great that you get your MILs place to yourself for most of your visit. One less thing to worry about x

Jen, that is so exciting, fingers crossed for the future. Completely understand the apprehension.

Rose, I hope the scan goes ok and you can start the jabs on schedule.

This, good luck for Wednesday, I hope the scan shows good results. I'm glad you get to have the space to yourselves

Rebecca, best of luck for tomorrow, everything is crossed for you.

AFM, I have had a bit of a headfuck day which has resulted in a stunned/shocked state of mind. I got a BFP today!!!!!!! I can't quite believe it. After everything all the Drs have said and then having a cp cycle end of August! I have spent most of this month eating chocolate and getting pissed and voilà! Seriously wtf!! I now need a scan asap to check for ectopic but... I'm in shock. The rollercoaster begins again. Massive hugs to all the ladies out there xx

Sam that is amazing news!!!
Can only imagine how you must be feeling. How do you go about getting the scan to rule out ectopic, are you NHS? Please keep us posted. Great to see a BESH BFP! Are you managing to sleep now?! It just shows you stress isn't a deal breaker.

Place really glad you're only having to deal with your monster in law for a few days .. And hoping Mr Place's Lurgy won't affect his swimmers. I can't see that it would in any significant way. Like your idea of a Menopur/heroin cocktail.

Rose, glad the intralipids are going down smoothly. You asked about time off - I work for myself (freelance writer/editor) V lucky I know.

Hi to everyone else ... I'm on phone hence keeping it short.

Thanks Rebecca, I have to contact the early pregnancy unit at my local NHS hosp and book myself in. Due to my history they see me quite promptly. I normally have it at 5 + weeks so I shall be calling in the morning to book for later in the week/next week. Then all being well have another scan at 7 weeks to check for a heartbeat. I'm worried for all the usual reasons plus I've been on sleeping pills this last month!! Definitely not good for a pregnancy, worried I've damaged the little thing! But maybe they hear lped me relax a bit and have some more energy to get pregnant?!? Who knows?!? Xx

Now I'm stressing myself wondering whether both blasts will survive the thaw. We only have two. I meant to ask about that but forgot. Oh well. Only one way to find out!

XPost. That's great that the EPU are prompt, I'm sure that'll be reassuring to have those early scans. And re pills, I imagine that will just make them extra chilled and resilient ... ?! I am sure I've read that for the first few weeks nothing you take will make any difference. Many women probably don't even know at this stage ... But seriously anything that helped you feel less awful can only be a good thing!

PS Sam when I say I'm sure it will be reassuring to see the scans ... That probably sounded stupid because it's much more complicated than that. Sorry. I'm always conscious that I know nothing about pregnancy or pregnancy losses. Anyway have everything crossed for you.

Congrats Sam! As far as I know nothing passes between mum and baby until after 6 weeks

Lol, Not stupid at all, I take comfort in every little step but still crazily worry.

Fingers crossed they did ok in the thaw. Are you putting both back in? X

Thanks Blue, that's a relief X

Sam OMG! Amazing news! That really is a turn up for the books- I hope you can get a scan booked in soon to put your mind at rest.
Like Blue says, I think the yolk gives the little embie all it needs in the first few weeks so anything you have taken/eaten/drank so far won't be a problem.

Rebecca good luck lovely- I'm sure they will thaw perfectly. You aren't gonna get much sleep tonight Mrs!

We are finalllllllly back from our marathon trip to London, 2 hours of intrapilids and back again. Nakered!

SoSam, congratulations! I love a surprise bfp on these boards. It couldn't happen to more deserving people. Best of luck for scans etc. One step at a time I imagine.

Rebecca, how did the transfer go? One or two? Please let us know everything went smoothly.

Rosebud, congrats on a successful intralipid trip, is this your first time? It's something I'd like to look into next time. Rest up now!

I'm waiting at airport. Said a teary goodbye to my little furry friends this morning for the next 2 weeks. I wish I could bring my cats with me, they always make me smile and cheer me up. Plus my boy cat snuggles into my belly all night...that's got to be good for blood flow etc? In fact he's been so adorable lately, I've decided he's my new boyfriend and now mr place is giving him strange looks, seriously! At least he doesn't talk back, lol.

Well, we did it - one grade 1 blast on board!! It wasnt the most fun procedure in the world but they played plinky plonky music and had lava lamp type projections on the ceiling --- romantic
They both defrosted safely, but one dropped a grade so they used this one. OTD is 18 Oct, two weeks from today, but they said I can use a HPT the day before. That's the bit I'm dreading but I'm not going to worry about that for now. The expression PUPO makes me nervous (because it's not such a done deal) but for now I'm potentially pregnant - going to enjoy it while it lasts!

Place, that's so sad that you have to say goodbye to your kitties and your home comforts. They sound super adorable. But you'll be back with them before you know it and they can keep you company during 2ww? Hope the MIL is endurable. Good luck!!

Rose, I hope you got a lie-in this morning, you must be absolutely shattered!! Great to get that out of the way. Is this your first time using intralipids? Let's hope it makes all the difference. x

Place, Rebecca Yes first time of having intrapilids. It was actually quite relaxing sitting there for 2 hours having the infusion. It was just the drive there and back which we can have done without. Hopefully it will make the difference for us. I'm having another lot of day of ET in Czech too.

Place your fur babies sounds like my fur babies (except they are tiny fluffy dogs) Always lie on top of me keeping my abdomen warm, always so happy to see me- absolutely love them. 2 weeks away from them will be tough. Safe journey!

Rebecca congratulations on being PUPO! Sounds like you have a perfect blast on board! Very exciting and nerve wracking times. Your ET experience sounds... random! Who knew lava lamps were still a 'thing' ?!

Oh my god, one goes away for a little while (I am working in Eastern Africa so bit hectic) and look what happens! So many lovely news!

Sam So chuffed for you, best news ever.

Jen Yay for good scan! Still early days but oh, so much closer to something resembling peace of mind or at leat, not having a nervous breakdown every 15 minutes

Rebecca Great stuff about the transfer -sounds very positive! Will be hoping that the two weeks go as fast as possible for you!

Place I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

k8liz77 sorry you are having a shit time. Periods becoming irregular sucks. I am on CD36 (if we count the D&C as CD1) and not a sniff of the droid (and I know I am not pregnant). My cycle is usually 27-28 days and after every other mc, the droid arrived 25-29 days after. So there we are.

Hags, I am not sure my heart is in this anymore. I am going ahead with IVF (if my period shows up at some point, ahem) but I just don't have the same yearning... I think all my energy and hope have been used up and now I am like "well, it has been 5 years, I am actually used to not having children, to be the odd one out etc.. I know how this works... can I be bothered to go through the whole worrying and crying and very possibly another mc heartbreak, when I feel so settled right now?".

A part of me (the massive hippie one), is thinking that maybe that is why my period is delayed, because I give zero fucks right now and surely one should feel a bit more motivated before embarking on IVF ? Does anyone else go through this phases?

I'm glad Erica's summed up where everyone is, I'm rapidly losing track but it's all positive, which is fabulous and heartwarming .
Hugs and positive vibes to all you lovely ladies .
Erica, my sista from another mista , I feel exactly the same as you. We started ttc in January 2011. I'm not trying to get pregnant at min because I just can't face it. However, I can't quite give up until I've had at least one go at IVF, which will more likely be March 2017.
I think if you've been going through things for the amount of time we have, it's natural to go through phases like this . I'm here if you ever want to talk, you can always PM me if you'd prefer xx

Hi Erica, I do know what you mean. I think it's important to listen to those inner voices and also to be open to the idea that there are lots of different ways to be happy. I don't have that heart-not-in it yet but I've not had any losses and I haven't been trying as long. However I am 40 next year and I think next year will be our last year of trying. I would love to have a baby obviously but there is a limit to the heartache I'm willing to go through in pursuit of it. If it doesn't happen, Mr Noodles and I will have a good life anyway. I'm determined to!

I suppose regarding your IVF, you could shelve it for now, or it could be no bad thing to go into it feeling relatively neutral ... as that might lower the stakes a bit?? Then you could look on it as a worthwhile roll of the dice - instead of 'this MUST work'. Don't know if any of that's helpful. How does Mr Erica feel?

Hi Erica, I do know what you mean. I think it's important to listen to those inner voices and also to be open to the idea that there are lots of different ways to be happy. I don't have that heart-not-in it yet but I've not had any losses and I haven't been trying as long. However I am 40 next year and I think next year will be our last year of trying. I would love to have a baby obviously but there is a limit to the heartache I'm willing to go through in pursuit of it. If it doesn't happen, Mr Noodles and I will have a good life anyway. I'm determined to!

I suppose regarding your IVF, you could shelve it for now, or it could be no bad thing to go into it feeling relatively neutral ... as that might lower the stakes a bit?? Then you could look on it as a worthwhile roll of the dice - instead of 'this MUST work'. Don't know if any of that's helpful. How does Mr Erica feel?

Erica Without a doubt, the way you're feeling is totally understandable. You have been through a hell of a lot of shit. You have been conditioned by disappointment after disappointment to not care as much because it's too painful to care and then be let down again.
You need to do whatever you think is right at the time.

I had my lining scan today- CD13- 8mm and triple layered so it looks like ET will definitely be on Thurs next week. Relieved.