start dr today

[tillyann2013]

After 5 years of secondary infertility we are at the start of our first IVF cycle. Nervous and a little bit excited at the same time. Will start buserlin this evening. Anyone else due to start?

Oh Tilly - you poor thing. Don't try and call yet - a few more days and you should be feeling a bit stronger. The gutted bit will stick around though I'm afraid. I guess all you can do for now is keep busy - try and plan some nice family stuff for the weekend maybe. And do keep posting here if it's any help. x

Thinking about you guys!

Lemonade - I hope all is going well? Do you have an early scan booked with your clinic or are they making you wait until 12 weeks? Hope you're feeling OK and not too exhausted or queasy.

And how about you Tilly? How has your week been? Did you manage to get your review meeting booked in? Mine's not until the 20 something th of May so we've got a long time to wait and think. Trouble is, I just don't know what to think! When the first one failed it was pretty straight forward to "just" jump back in and try again. But now what do we do?! We can just about afford a third go but is there any point? I can't imagine they didn't change everything they could change for the second go, so it's there any chance of changing the outcome? I'm half heartedly carrying on with all the supplements, although my diet has slipped back to not really very good. A part of me just wants to jack the whole thing in and get on with my life, but the problem is that the rest of me can't imagine life without another baby in it.

Hi girls hope your having a relaxing weekends. All is well here, I have a scan booked for the week after next so just keeping my fingers crossed until then- it's like the two week wait all over again!

Not really feeling much in the way of symptoms just a bit tiered but that's because I've not been sleeping well, I keep waking up and then worrying about everything that could go wrong. I wish I would start puking so I would know the hormones are there- I guess the worrying never stops!

Sorry to hear that you are both feeling down, it's surch a horrible thing to go through and then with no positive end result it's a kick in the teeth. I hope your treating yourselves well or managing to keep busy and take your minds off it.

Little- do you think you'll stick with the same clinic, or is there another that might be worth ago? I imagine you want to try something slightly different this time around?

Tilly- have you made another appointment with your consultant?

Thinking of you both xx

Yes lemonade, waiting for scans is really stressful when you haven't had a smooth ride getting pregnant. I was always in bits for mine given I'd already lost two pregnancies by the time I had ds. No advice I'm afraid - just the usual trying to keep busy to help the time pass. You wouldn't expect to have much by way of symptoms this soon though, and of course some people never get strong symptoms at all. I went off chocolate and needed to pee a lot, then a little bit of nausea and a lot of tiredness eventually kicked in. Fingers still tightly crossed for you.

As for me, I don't think I'd want to change clinic. I do want to talk to them about some scientific articles I've found about the reliability of chromosomal testing (or rather unreliability), but I'm pretty certain that if they don't have any new suggestions then there's nothing left to try. We'll just have to see what they say next month.

Hi girls, I couldn't find the thread after not posting for a while. But I've found it now! How are you both? Lemonade hope the time goes quickly whilst you're waiting for the scan, I remember I had no symptoms whatsoever and was convinced there would be nothing on the screen. It's a nerve wrecking time for sure!

Nothing much happening here, I've called my hospital here to let them know and whilst they were lovely and made me cry (again!) there's not a lot they can do and she said just to get in touch when I'm ready to cycle again. I also need to call the Lister but haven't quite managed that either yet. Not sure what they can do either. We will not be having another cycle, we just can't afford it and I need to move on after 5 years of ttc. I'm looking into some counselling sessions too.
Little poot that's a long time to wait for your follow up isn't it? I hope you're doing okay x

Hello Tilly. I'm impressed with your decisiveness I must say. I'm still dithering and changing my mind every few minutes as to what to do next. Can't see that changing for a while! Although I do often think moving on would actually be the least stressful option if only I could get my head round it all and accept it. Especially as newborn babies are quite frankly a pain in the butt (don't listen lemonade - they're delightful really. And who needs sleep anyway?!). But just as I was actually starting to think acceptance might be the best thing to aim for, ds chirps up this morning "please can we have another baby mummy?" and looked crestfallen when I said I didn't think it was possible. So it looks like I'm heading for round 3.

How are you doing lemonade? Are you still on hormone insertions? Lovely things. Hope you're keeping busy and not counting the days too badly. It really is a horrible wait. I was the same as Tilly for my first pregnancy - convinced there would be nothing there when I had the scan. Your mind can be a crazy place.

Littlepoot I think I'm trying to convince myself too. I don't think I am done yet but I promised my husband we'd give it one shot and we did. I know he's completely done but I don't know that I am.

I know what you mean. I guess unless you take a vow of celibacy or some serious contraception, part of you/me will always be thinking there's a chance of a miracle. I guess it'll just wear off gradually? Counselling could be useful if they have any useful experience in the area to pass on. Or just to give a safe space to rant! Ds was so insistent this morning begging me to try and get a baby. If only he knew!! But it has focused my mind a bit on giving it one last proper shot in the summer before trying to move on. Although I guess I need to see what the consultant says next month.

Hey girls, how are you both? Lemonade have you had a scan yet? Littlepoot how are you doing?

Nothing much happening here, have got an appointment by telephone with the lister on the 9th may and have emailed my local consultant guy too but not heard anything yet. I'm feeling a bit better but still have my moments.

Hope you're both well xx

Hi Ladies I hope your both doing Ok?

Tilly- I'm glad to hear you're feeling a bit better- it must be really tough though. Have you definitely decided not to do another cycle?

Littlepoot- I can't imagine how hard it must be to hear your DS ask for another baby. When is your next appointment?

I actually had my first scan today and we saw the heartbeat! I know it's still very early I'm (6 weeks 2 days) but I do feel relieved the past two weeks I feel like I've been in Limbo. Still not really had any symptoms just tired and hungry but that's pretty normal for me!

Oh lemonade how fantastic!!! I hope the scan wasn't too terrifying. So glad things are good so far. Tired and hungry is pretty much a description of most of my previous pregnancies so they sound like perfectly fine symptoms to me. Have you got another scan in a couple of weeks or just waiting now for the usual 12 week one?

And Hello Tilly too. I know what you mean by feeling a bit up and down but hopefully there's more up. Hopefully your upcoming appointments will help you finally decide what to do and if necessary give you some closure. My appointment is towards the end of May so in the meantime I'm just trying to shift the extra half stone of pizza and chocolate I seem to have gained and trying not to think about babies too much...

Hey girls, thinking of you both. X