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The mind numbing boredom of infertility II

999 replies

PotatoesPastaAndBread · 28/02/2016 10:29

This is a thread for peole who really want to get pregnant but can't, who have tried pretty much everything, and are really fucked off about it.

Have you ever nearly punched someone for advising you to "relax", "go on holiday" or "just get drunk - that's what we did"? Well then this is the thread for you.

You won't find much sentimentality here and there's no baby dust, but there is empathy, a lot of swearing and a surpirsing amount of glittery dog shit.

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Lauraqc · 21/03/2016 20:49

Well fuck me sideways. I bugger off for 10 mins and there's a dead mouse, a (thankfully) not ectopic and a stupid BINT who can't keep her legs closed from the bloke who apparently wants to leave her.

Evening all. Waving at everyone...Potatoes it's just rude isn't it. I think she could've declared that earlier couldn't she.

Sammy I'm sorry that the 2ww is really dragging its heels for you too :(

I've stopped eating and drinking now in prep for EC bright and early at 7.30am UK time. I managed to do the trigger shot right in my arse all by myself and haven't felt a thing. Concerned because I'm not really feeling anything now - can eggs just stop growing before you even make it to EC??

Distracted ourselves by cinema last night (Deadpool was indeed good!) and then the science museum and shopping centre today.

Had to laugh at the dead mouse story - I just took thru several needles with my medical note ready only for no-one to bat an eyelid thru security at all. WTF is that about?!

Will let you all know tomorrow how it went!

Fractiousfractions · 21/03/2016 20:59

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Pebbles086 · 21/03/2016 21:01

Confused the thread got lively earlier!!!
grumps I didn't refresh the thread before I wrote earlier. Sorry about your baby bomb. Can you send her that dead mouse in the post! Hope your DH has recovered.

That comment made me Shock Don't know what is worse, if it's a troll or an actual woman moaning about having two boys?!

bip have the old fashioned! So glad you're not having to deal with an ectopic, but obviously not pleased that it's a MC. Enjoy the rest of your trip.
potatoes WTF!! You must have been so shocked!! Will you be going back? I don't think I could.
sammy hope your work was understanding and having a little cry instead of holding al that in helped.
vixx injections arrived!! Eek! So are you just waiting for a particular day in your cycle to start?
potatoes GL tomorrow, hope the scan sheds some light on things.
Goodnight to all my infertility "fiends" and our troll Grin

Fractiousfractions · 21/03/2016 21:04

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PotatoesPastaAndBread · 21/03/2016 21:09

Good luck for tomorrow laura! Let us know how it goes!
And well done for injecting yourself in the arse! I have never tried that, it sounds... interesting!

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Vixxfacee · 21/03/2016 21:16

Good luck Laura!

The thread did get lively. Some humour in the midst of all the crap.

Will start injecting on day 21 which is Monday. Will be on injections until at least 20th April before going on the womb thickening tablets.

It's been FOUR years since my miscarriage. I can't believe it's taken this long.

icy121 · 21/03/2016 21:45

Karla am waiting for droid to start, then I'll down ref for 3 weeks after day 21, then it's a week of stimms. Of course am not bleeding yet so I'm probably ironidiffed 😏

fractious woo doctor administering woo needles is something I picked up from the BESH (barren evil selfish hags) threads. They're over on ttc, group of over 30s ttc #1.

PotatoesPastaAndBread · 22/03/2016 08:28

Ah bollocks. I thought I was ok about the acupuncturist thing but turns out I'm not.

I thought I'd be able to see it as funny:
"you had acupuncture? Did it work?"
"Yes, yes it did - for her."

But...

(And I am aware this is irrational and completely unreasonable, hence why I'm saying it here not in real life)

I feel betrayed! I can put a game face on when someone at work announced a pregnancy and I can even be genuinely happy for friends. But this woman knows what's really going on. She wrote down stuff I told her! She's got a fucking folder of all my hopes, fears and failures from the last year. She doesn't owe me anything, I see her twice a month, we're not friends, she's got every right to go and get pregnant, it's her life. Any yet, and yet, and yet.... It's not fair!

So I've said it now and noone IRL needs to know that I am totally deranged. Thanks for listening x

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LHReturns · 22/03/2016 08:49

You aren't deranged. You are the picture of elegance frankly. It also reeks of smugness...like 'yes let me help you with your problems...all ok for me over here tho with my natural, vegan, organic, tree-hugging perfection. You must press on with your big fat injections though'. Cow.

Last night's exchanges were the most I have laughed in so long. I couldn't move while I waited for the next assault on that stupid women with 2 boys wanting a girl to dress her in awful pink tutus no doubt.

Icy121 I have an actual crush on you. Hilarious. Sadly I think it is unlikely we would make babies together tho.

TammySwanson · 22/03/2016 09:12

Wow, either a troll visited us last night or proof that Idiocracy is a glimpse of the future.

PotatoesPastaAndBread · 22/03/2016 12:15

Well 90mins at the EPU confirms I've got "retained products". Choice between another op under GA or wait and see if body can expel it all. I'm going to wait and see, start taking antibiotics today, re-scan next week.

I'm finding it very ironic that I struggle to get pregnant but the one time I have, my body WILL NOT LET GO.

Cannot think of the right swearword to insert at this point. But I'm thinking if ALL of them!

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TammySwanson · 22/03/2016 12:27

Oh potatoes, how horribly frustrating for you. It's like adding insult to injury isn't it? Here's hoping your body gets rid of everything soon.

Lauraqc · 22/03/2016 12:58

Hi all! Back at the hotel now and have had a kip! All went fine this morning, clinic was lovely as was my co-ordinator! I was in & out of theatre in about 20 mins apparently and then there was just loads of waiting til DH went and did his thing and then they brought me warm fruit tea and a jammy doughnut (England totally should start doing that!) and then waiting for Dr. Bled a bit and luckily had a pad with me...they got 6 eggs which they said was good news; I'm a bit disappointed I thought it'd be double figures...now got to call each day and find out how they're getting on and embryo transfer will be on Sunday so I'll defo be flying home solo on Monday (DH has to be back for work on Sat so is flying home Friday) which is a shame!

Potatoes sorry to hear that and I imagine you're pretty frustrated at having to have gone thru all that and still know there's more to come. I'd have done the same as you tho and wait it out.

bananafish81 · 22/03/2016 13:35

Hello IVF fiends

Potatoes oh fuck, I’m so so angry at the world on your behalf. I really hope everything gets sorted medically or that they get you in pronto. And as for the acupuncturist, fucking hell. It’s beyond a joke. Ugh. So sorry you’re having to deal with layers of shit upon shit

Bip hope you are having ALL the Old Fashioneds

icy please please please write a column. Your way with words is too good just for us lot to enjoy. I absolutely pissed myself laughing at your response to that absolute fucknut of a poster.

Vixx so glad you’re finally getting going. I didn’t get any headaches while down regging for my aborted attempt at a long protocol cycle for fresh. Drink lots of water! I did get even more grumpy than usual. My diplomacy filter went out the window so basically I was like how I was when I reacted to that mumof2 poster, except in real life. Only got one bollocking from work for my short temper, which was quite good going considering

sammy hope you’re being kind to yourself. It’s shit.

karla good luck with the meds. I had mine for my second cycle delivered to work, in a massive cool box that looked like it was expensive wine because it said ‘fragile’ and had wine glasses on the side. Sadly, at £2k for a few syringes, I worked out that my Gonal-F was drop for drop more expensive than some of the fanciest vintage champagne at £233/ml or thereabouts

grumpel Hoping there’s less mouse juice, I think four puddings is definitely mandated in such situations.

Laura hurrah for the magnificent six. I shan’t do the ‘it only takes one’ line, but it, er, does really only take one. My consultant said he’s had women with 18 eggs and no embryos, and women with one follicle, one egg, one embryo and one baby. And you have 6 potential people!

Waves to everyone else

AFM well, I think it’s fair to say I went off on one at that total moron mumof2, think she was safely dispatched. Diplomacy filter set to zero

I wrote a suitably polite but shitty email to my consultant’s secretary about sending us the autopsy report of our dead baby, suggesting perhaps they might like to send such reports in a separate envelope with a warning that couples might find the contents distressing.

And asking that when the genetics report is done please don’t send us the results in the post, can we get them in person at our follow up consult in 3 weeks time. The report will tell us whether it was a baby boy or girl, and if it was my body that killed the foetus and not due to chromosomal abnormalities, I don’t really want that through the post either

After worrying about having no bleeding post ERPC, finally kicked in on Sat which at least means it feels like my body is trying to un-pregnant itself

Got my BBT thermometer out of the drawer which was fucking depressing. Will probably start to piss on sticks at some point, because otherwise I won’t know if I’ve ovulated, and if so when so I know when to expect a period, for the purposes of planning our next cycle

Whether that’s FET or fresh with PGS I’m going back and forwards about twice a day

Difference is £10k but possibly avoiding BFN or miscarriage again. Argh.

Can barely believe some people have some sex and get a baby 9 months later

PumpingIron · 22/03/2016 14:25

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Mumof2twoboys · 22/03/2016 16:27

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bananafish81 · 22/03/2016 16:35

Shouldn't you be looking after your kids instead of farting around on MN mum?

Being militant barrens we of course have loads of time on our hands. To lie in. Have long boozy lunches. Have fabulous holidays (and not pay through the nose during school hols). Or even writing on MN should we so please. Grin

LHReturns · 22/03/2016 16:43

Mumof2twoboys this is absolutely not the place to be goady in any way at all. Go away and accept you chose the wrong place to discuss your lack of a girl baby. Everyone makes mistakes but accepting them matters and you don't know anything about any of the women on this site.

Mumof2twoboys · 22/03/2016 17:31

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Fractiousfractions · 22/03/2016 17:45

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loopylou1984 · 22/03/2016 18:03

Mumsnet - for actual mums.

Hmm, by that logic then even a thread on a board about infertility isn't for me? It's not enough that we are excluded from friends/family events, made to feel worthless by social media and reminded every single day of what we don't have, but now we can't even keep this one little place to discuss how unfair it is because we're not 'actual mums'.

We know secondary infertility is a thing. Most of us have been on these boards long enough that we know pretty much every infertility scenario that you could think of.

If your problem had been 'unable to conceive a third' or 'ttc number 3 for a millennium' I don't think any of this would have happened. It was 'why can't I have a girl' when we would happily have just 1 baby whatever the gender.
It's not that you can't feel like that, of course you can. It's that you chose to say it on a board full of women who just recently have suffered the death of a baby at 9 weeks, miscarriage and failed IVF between them.
I think you'll find if you start s new thread on the conception board that you'll get lots of like minded people to share your journey with.

bananafish81 · 22/03/2016 18:05

Mum suggest you go here for secondary infertility

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility/2542569-Any-success-stories-and-ideas-for-secondary-infertility

Or here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2534019-Anyone-ttc-baby-2-continued

Although the main reason you’re not welcome here isn’t because you have kids

It’s because you are behaving in a completely insensitive way and like an utter twat

So it may well be that you’re not terribly welcome on other threads either, if you are as thoughtless and oblivious to people’s feelings over there as you have been here

loopylou1984 · 22/03/2016 18:07

As for the rest of you, I have read everything, and will reply properly later. Xx

karlafox · 22/03/2016 18:16

It's still going on?! Jeeez..
I only popped on to say hi and to see how you are all doing!

Oh and have to share this, I have just been for a shower and whilst waiting to step in I did a big sneeze and pissed myself. Like actual puddle of piss on the bathroom floor!! Blush so by the age of 35 I am barren and now also incontinent.. 😖 Kill me now please!

icy121 · 22/03/2016 18:32

"How ridiculous and mean-spirited some of people on here are is shocking"

I'm going to take that, frankly offensive, syntax as further proof of general dimwittery. I suppose she didn't read the OP or any of the other posts. Probably didn't get past the title of this thread. Mind Numbing indeed.

Also pretty hypocritical to call us 'mean-spirited' only to be followed by Isn't it called mumsnet which would suggest it's for actual mums. That's fairly mean spirited, I'd say. But hey what do I know. I'm not a mother, so I don't know real love and I certainly don't know true joy and happiness. I guess I can't recognise mean-spiritedness either.

Anyway, fuck this shit, I'm going to get back to my Barren Hag's Night In. It consists of having a long bath with a glass of wine, watching a film and then logging into my bank account to laugh at the literal thousands of pounds I have in my current account because I work full time and don't have to pay for childcare, before getting a full night's sleep.