Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

Argh! I hate using my phone on this forum. Now I feel a right tit. 😢

Closephine-thank you and please don't be sorry at all. Yes I am actually pleased I had a slightly longer cycle, prob a good sign. Feeling better now just generally a bit poop mostly due to being tired and hormonal I suppose. I am definitely a bit of a grumps today!
Bloop- sorry it seems AF has turned up for you too, and don't worry I didn't even notice the comment wasn't for me it was fine. Sorry you are feeling so hopeless with it all. I know that place and it's dark and lonely. Try to reach out to those you can really rely on and will understand.

So sorry about the bfn and AFs, Anna and Bloop. It's always a horrible time, and nothing anyone says can make it better. I do hope you're both feeling a bit better today. Katy- I like your crystal ball analogy- it's the hoping and having those hopes dashed month after month after month after bloody month. It wears you down. How can anyone else understand if they haven't been through it. My DH aso gets annoyed if he spots me 'fertility googling'. He says he can always tell because I have a 'stressed look' on my face when I'm doing it!

Katy- how is the progress to IVF going?

Anna- my DD has also been so challenging at times recently- and at times I think why on earth do I want to put myself through this again! But more often, it's probably similar thoughts to yours, feeling guilty that its my fault, or that giving her a sibling would have helped. But they are all like this at times, so we mustn't blame ourselves. School hols are HARD too!!

Closephine, any more thoughts about Athens?

I am going in for my second scan today to see if I'm ready to have the med that makes you ovulate for IUI- desperately trying not to get my hopes up as the odds are still so low (10% for my age apparently), but it's hard not to, when you're constantly injecting/scanning/being reminded of it.
PS. thanks for the work advice bloop- I told my prospective employers that I may have to occasionally go in for last min hospital appointments in the end, and he (seemed) quite understanding, we'll see.

Good luck Rose. It hard but think of it as a better chance than a normal month so I'll keep all crossed for you. I love your stressed Google face ha! I have that too. When my husband caught me he was so disappointed in me I actually felt ashamed of myself like I had a dirty habit!

Currently we are waiting for IVF open evening (that will be nice and depressing!) next Wednesday evening. Then 3 weeks after is house move. I have a horrible feeling I'm going to be told I need my tonsils out when I go to ENT at end of the month. So that will push things back a bit.

I m really hoping I can see IVF as a final hurdle. If it doesn't work I just hope I can try and think I've done all I can and move on. (I'll probably be a mess!) I've put off changing jobs for so long now due to all this and I think I will just apply for some after. Sounds so simple really if only it really was that easy! By the way of course I have joined Wordpress, started a blog and am stalking people trying IVF like crazy!

Anna - it does sound positive your cycle was longer. I hope that gives you a little hope for the next few months.

Bloop - your typo made me laugh! It just sounded like you were being really flippant :)

Anna - glad you're feeling a bit better. I always have a down day when af arrives then I switch back to hopeful for the following month. Argh!

Rose - how is the IUI going? Where are you at with scans/follicles etc? We are still thinking Athens in January. We've asked DH's parents if we can still borrow the money they offered and they've said yes, so just need to get the ball rolling when ds starts school in September really.

Katy - perhaps having your tonsils out will be the answer - if it is, we can all follow suit! (There was an article on the bbc website last week stating women who had had tonsils or appendix removed were more fertile!)

So DH has come to the conclusion that his sperm samples are always marginally better if he has abstained for a while beforehand - so basically he has decided we are only
allowed to DTD once I have had the peak smiley on the clear blue tests. Today was a flashing smiley - feels weird not to try on these days but going to let him try his theory. It's not like anything else had worked anyway!

Hope the open evening goes ok, Katy, I'm intrigued to know what they are like. Remember seeing adverts for them on the tube in the good old days when I thought that kind of thing would never apply to me. I know what you mean, would be great if one could have some closure if IVF didn't work out, and at least feel like you did your best, and move on. Hmm.
And hope the tonsils don't need outing. Who knows though, could do the trick, though I had mine out as a child so unfortunately hasn't done the trick here!

And good luck with your limited DTD'ing this month, Closephine, definitely worth a go. And you get a bit of a break from it!

Unfortunately our IUI cycle had to be cancelled, as I had 4 large follicles following the injections. We've been told we can't even try naturally this cycle, for risk of multiple pregnant. So frustrating, and it's like holding out a carrot to a donkey. Boobs are also massive (highly unusual for me), which must be an effect of the hormones, so feel almost pregnant, when I know I most definitely am not, which is just not fair. Would it be really reckless to just have sex?!

Ah no rose how annoying!! What dose/medication were you on? My clinic put me on the lowest dose for the first round to see how i reacted and I just had the one follicle.

I did have the multiple follicles discussion with DH tho... I have to admit that in your position I would be very tempted. ALTHOUGH if your DH has a normal sperm count then there potentially is a chance you could end up with quads... So perhaps in your case better to abstain?! Our thought was that if they were all swimming in the wrong direction anyway, if there were multiple follicles then they might hit at least one... Ugh up to you but I can understand you being tempted!!

Oh goodness, yes so tempting. I was on 75mcg a day, they said next time they'll do 75 alternate days.
Will have a think about whether to have sex.... Thinking along those lines exactly closephibe, can't even get pregnant with the one, so this surely just ups our chances a little bit?! Eurgh.

How emphatic were they about you not doing it?! Was it a stern 'you must not do this' or more of a 'we have to tell you not to do this' if that makes any sense?

It was the nurse and she wasn't that stern, I think I asked, does that mean we can't have sex and she said yes- no unprotected sex. Seriously contemplating it now. I mean we had sex the day before that scan so surely if they were that worried they'd have asked about that/want to keep an eye etc!

Rose- I think if I were in your shoes I would! I had several large follicles when I was on Clomid and they never told me not to DTD. A part of me was secretly hoping I would conceive twins!

Well if you already DTD the day before the scan surely there's already a chance anyway?! When are you due to ovulate? Just go for it! (She says after a glass of rose) :)

Thanks ladies, I think we will! Not quite sure when due to ovulate- this weekend probably. I spoke to a doctor friend of mine who's usually super cautious and she was like 'just do it'- so there you go- and after all this worrying I'm sure I won't get pregnant is the irony! Hope you are all enjoying the lovely weather.

Go for it Rose!

I'm feeling pissed off and negative this evening. January feels like an age away, I can't see DH's count having any improvement between now and then. Just feels like we're holding out for a miracle that's not going to happen and the thought of another Christmas in the same situation is depressing me already.

Sorry... shouldn't have had that glass of wine!

I had that glass of wine too closephine and am also a little loose tongued! I have given DH one too many gentle nudges for things he needs to do etc and he is in a huff with me now! On a good note I did have a lovely day with DS so that has made me feel good and like I have redeemed myself from being a terrible mother earlier in the week! He was mostly adorable today and made me count my lucky stars. AF is ending now so it's about time to get back on the wagon so to speak! Hmm better make up with DH first!

And yes go for it Rose! Hey if you end up with multiples you could always share them around with some of us on here!!

Haha, Anna, not a bad idea cos we most definitely don't have the space! Glad to hear you had a good day with your little one- helps so much. DD is also being a sweetie at the moment. We've been visiting my SIL a lot who has just had her second (our firsts are 3 months apart and very close). It is quite hard to have such a close reminder at the moment of what I desperately want. Right, think I'm also gonna hit the wine tonight.

Closephine, hope that wine helped last night, I know what you mean about xmas, not an easy time, and I'm not looking forward to it either, if I'm not pregnant by then it will feel so sad.

We DTD'd last night. Hey ho. If I do so happen to get pregnant this month (yeah right), I'm going to be totally freaking out it's quadruplets.

Ha obviously straight away I googled the tonsils thing! Seriously clutching at straws.

So I am a few days away from period (range from 28-33) and decided to do an ovulation test- purely because I am a little nuts and slowly losing the plot. It was positive- and Google told me that lots of people have found out they are pregnant that way. So an hour later I did another- no extra lines. Negative.mAnd I have dull period pains gah!!

Oh rose that's so tempting! And it must be weird not trying at all. I'm not sure what I'd do. Quads could be daunting but yes love the idea of sharing them round! So go take one for the team :)

Anna those days are so nice when your little one is a dream.

Closephine- we have always been do conflicted with DH low count and have tried "saving it all up" etc it's so hard as you feel like the stuff is so precious !

I have some questions-
We are only doing the deed around ovulation time. Do you all do every few days?
I've also started to spot last few months. I never have before- is that a bad thing??

Rose - can I call dibs on one of the quads please? :)

Katy - to be honest I have no clue about when we should be DTD with a low count. I got the static smiley today so we are DTD tonight in the hope that letting his count build up for a while may have helped. Really not got a clue tho. We've tried it all... Every day, every other day etc etc.

Anna - glad to hear you're having a better time with your ds. Mine has been a little testing today :) still love him to the moon and back though and want another to drive me double crazy!

It's all a bit ambiguous with how often to DTD- especially with low sperm count. We have also tried everything, everyday, alternate days etc.
The nurse at the fertility clinic said 3 days wait is optimal (i.e. ejaculating 3 days before you have sex to conceive)

I also had spotting for a few months, Katy- always a few days before my period started- once it went on for a week before period came on properly- for some reason it seems to have settled now, and I have no idea why. Is your spotting directly before you AF? If not, then also may be worth seeing a doctor to check for infection/other causes. xx

Thank you. Just in few days lead up to AF it's probably because I'm getting more aware of it or something! X

So we've given it our best shot at DH's theory. He had to give a sample on Tuesday, then I had peak last night so we DTD last night and (sorry if tmi!) did a home insemination job this am as ds was up and about! I then definitely ovulated this afternoon so by all accounts that would have got a normal couple preggers. Highly doubtful it's done any good for us tho!

LOADS of pregnant people popping up on my Facebook today. Put me in a bit of a foul mood this morning, really should try and stay away from it but I find myself zooming in on people's bellies looking for signs of a bump. Most of the time I find them too.

Oh and I was watching Gavin and Stacey last night, randomly decided to google Joanna Page and then got really irritated to discover that she is currently preggers with number 3 after having number 1 in 2012. I had ds in 2011... SO tired of being double lapped by people!

So the two week wait begins...

Well at least you know you have covered all bases closephine! Never tried the home insermination thing before though.

I zoom in on people's bellies all the time! I was chatting to a lovely mum in the park in the week who had a 21 month old. Then I looked and there was a definite beginning of a belly. I actually really hated her then and just couldn't look at her after that.

We are just back from my parents (we are buying their house) their neighbours have two kids and another on the way and I could hear them playing outside. I actually felt like I didn't want to move there anymore as it feels like a constant reminder. Just ridiculous!!
X