Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

Hi girls hope all is well!closephine sorry it was negative fx crossed tho hoping for some more positives on here!bloop I'm also in Glasgow well just outside was at my doctors last week getting blood results and I'm low on b12 and folate when I asked if this could affect my chances she seem to have forgot I was ttc!spoke to my ra doc and iv came off the immune suppresents as they don't seem to be helping the pain got to get a scan on my foot see if they can drain it.prob clinging to straws but anything to help increase my chances but I did read that if u have an immune disorder it can make it difficult who knows.rose I'm due af friday I think always regular cycles but Ovd 4 days early .3 baby gifts for co workers this month it's so hard buying things when you just want to buy your own little outfits.but I think the quicker I give them the gift and get the Thankyou card and tuck it in the drawer then I can pretend I'm not bothered lol

Evening ladies

Lat - so sorry to hear your cycle hasn't gone well. there's always a chance once of those embryos will come through for you, but if it was me, I don't think it would help to be told that, so sorry for saying it if it's not what you want to be told right now! I hope the time to test day passes as quick as it can for you. I get what you're saying about moving onto donor eggs faster than you would have expected. I guess you have to weigh up the impact it's having on you and your family going through this all the time, compared with how you feel about having a child that's not biologically yours. I don't think I mind the idea of donor eggs and would do it, in our case I think it's more likely donor sperm would be needed and I think that's harder on DH as at least with donor eggs you still carry the baby. I think it's also been proven than some of the mothers dna gets passed onto baby in the womb too which is nice.

Rose - well done on managing a month without thinking about ttc! Hope it last until the end of the week for you.

I think I've decided to prolong my agony. I'm going to keep the progesterone going until Thursday and test then. By then I will be 16dpo. I am just sick and tired of squinting at pregnancy tests trying to find a whisper of a line. If I leave it until 16dpo a line would be a line not a whisper, so I won't be able to drive myself crazy revisiting it in the bin etc. It also means it will delay af until after the wedding we're going to on Saturday. Win win surely? If it wasn't a family wedding I would get trollied. However I'm slightly concerned that if I get drunk at a family do I'll share too much about how shit this all is.

Rose - the NHS is devolved in Scotland, it's still normal tho.

Tara - what dmards were you on? I stopped mtx 18 months ago. Was told it wouldn't affect long term chances (had to wait 6m) but I don't believe them. Everything was fine pre-mtx. I have little faith in my GP. Have appointment this afternoon to moan about them not giving me the correct progesterone results.

It was sulflafazine they said they didn't want me on Mtx as it can cause infertility but sulflafazine was fine to take even when pregnant but it wasn't helping so I didn't see the point xx

I now take hydroxychloriquine. I've no idea if it's actually doing anything or if I'm in a remission period but it's very safe when ttc & pregnant. The mtx at low doses such as for RA won't cause infertility (or so I'm told but I'm not so sure) but it induces miscarriage and causes physical deformities often incompatible with life. It is often used in abortions and ectopic pregnancies which is why they're told to wait 3-6 months before trying as its dodgy in your system. It's vile stuff best avoided.

Really that's good to know they just said they wouldn't consider as I was ttc they said another one I could try but I think il wait till the ultrasound as its just my one foot!!thats good your not in pain just now it really doesn't help trying when your in constant pain.i just got diagnosed at xmas so think it's all trial and error till they see what works xx

Best of luck with it. Don't let them leave you on prednisolone or other steroids for more than a month or two without established and timed exit strategy. Those things made me dat and destroyed my skin& bones

*fat even

Lol iv had two injections of it in my butt lol but again didn't help well it did but only for 1 day honestly I just give up now I'm convinced the pains in my head lol x

My cleaner has just text to say she can't come tomorrow as has to go to the dr. She's not sick as coming Saturday instead. Cue instant gut reaction that she must be pregnant and I'm going to have to watch her belly grow for the next 9 months. Fantastic.

Hi all, Sorry for going quiet. Been busy and preoccupied but still been reading all the posts. Close- you did make me giggle with the putting things funny places. I have done similar things and often think I am loosing my mind- scary stuff. Well done for holding out on testing, makes sense. I really hope a against all odds that a miracle happens for you. finders crossed your cleaner is not preggas for your sake. We just had new neighbours move in. They have a little girl about my sons age which is nice- and guess what? A bump of course! And she has to be well into her 40's. How can it be they easy for some??!!
I have been surprisingly calm and positive about things still. However, Bit worried I may be setting myself up for a big fall this month. We DTD a lot this cycle and now am Into the 2ww. I have had an extreme cycle this month. Today I had some really bad cramps, back ache and sore nipples. I know better than to get my hopes up as this happens with me sometimes just after ovulation. If it was closer to AF I might be a little more hopeful. Still I know there is more hope this month....ahh I can already see the disappointment ahead

BFN for me. Obviously. Really not sure how much more of this I can take. I get my hopes up every. Single. Time. Why the hell haven't I learnt my lesson yet? We're going round in circles and I feel so stuck. I'm starting to think Athens for Ivf might be the answer but they are shut in August, ds starts school in September... Earliest I think we could do would be October and that feels like a lifetime away right now. I wonder who we upset in a past life because I really don't think we've done anything in this one to deserve this shit.

Anna - sorry to hear about neighbour with bump. They're just everywhere! I think you do have more reason to be hopeful this month and you do hear a lot of success stories after laparoscopy's so I do hope you're one of them.

I'm sorry you got your bfn Closephine

Just found out my cousin is pregnant with her third since my Dd was born. My mother is desperate to show me her 3D scans and doesn't get why I don't want to.

I have my usual late cycle cramps etc but that means it's highly unlikely there's anything in there.

Hi everyone
closephine - I'm right with you - bfn this morning then af turned up today a day early. I'm devastated. Have driven myself mad this month testing madly. Was convinced I was because had really sore boobs - which I never get. I've also relaxed my strict diet lots and been having full fat dairy which was supposed to be the miracle cure. I feel exactly the same as you, cannot go through this anymore, want to run off and hide away. There are bumps everywhere I look and I can't take it anymore

bloop - why don't people get it when we don't want to look at scan pictures, nurseries etc? It's a total disregard for our feelings. It makes me so angry

Mrskittenpie - my mum thinks after a mc I should just forget about it and move on. She also thinks given my advancing age I shouldn't be trying. Apparently I'm ruining everyone's happiness at the scan pics by telling her in a living room on another continent from my cousin, that I don't want to look at it. There's been no sympathy, sensitivity or support from her since my mc

That is really not nice bloop about your mum. I can sympathise as I have a similarly harsh mother who struggles to show me motherly support or love when I need it most. You can't change her, only your reaction. Look after yourself and surround yourself with people who care and are there for you. We can't choose our family but we can choose our friends. Hugs

So so sorry to hear about your bfn this morning, Closephine. I do really think it's impossible not to get your hopes up, no matter the situation, and especially when you've had a complicated and somewhat invasive procedure involved. I hope tonight you are feeling a little better. I bloody well hope your cleaner isn't preggers either, I mean, seriously, that would be way too cruel.

And the neighbour with the daughter and the bump just makes me retch, Anna- what a lovely person I'm becoming. Glad you are feeling nice and calm though. It's the belly 'rubbing' that gets me, do people really need to rub it? (she says, remembering full well doing it when I was pregnant !)

Rose- ha yeah the belly rubbing! I was so quilty of that too but now it seems totally unnecessary and irritating somehow! I actually am surprisingly gracious at the moment about others bumps or new borns, considering it's all around me. It goes in waves. Maybe next month I will be an evil bitter bitch! Off to Brighton for a hen do this weekend-eek! 2 days away from real life will prob do me good, but in some ways I really can't be arsed. Luckily all the ladies involved don't have kids I believe as my friend is a little younger so there shouldn't be any bumps or baby talk!
Hope your doing ok closephine. I would probably look at booking that October appointment at serum if I were you. I know it seems a long way off but it really isn't and you know how time flies especially when busy. That way you know you have it and will feel proactive. Little mini break in Greece could be worse?!

Hi ladies,
AF started today, it seems my spotting has got less so I guess that's something.
My follow up appointment with the NHS consultant is tomorrow, trying to think of things to make sure I ask him, Eg. When would he recommend ivf. But I have a feeling it's not going to come too much and that's just a decision we will have to make for ourselves. I'm not sure if you ladies can think of anything that would be worth asking at this stage? Closephibe, can I ask what led them to try progesterone with you, I know you've said before but u can't remember the details, and also has anyone been recommended Clomid and if so, do you know for what reason?
Thanks all xxx

Hi all,

Dropped out the loop again. Still been driving myself mad with googling and convincing myself this is never going to happen! But also trying to focus my efforts into packing for the move.

Rose- I don't think I can be much help. At our last nhs consultant appointment we just made sure we asked what IVF clinics they recommended it's good to get a neutral point of view just in case it does end up the path you decide to take. Our consultant instantly recommended Guys and Thomas hospital in London for us.

im sorry to hear all your AF news. It truly sucks and sucks even more when it's all around you. Bloop- I get the unsupportive mum thing. Mine is just so cold about it all and constantly hashes out the "appreciate the one you have" line. I find her impossible to talk to. Ironically my heavily pregnant friend is my most understanding go to person.

Closephine- we have chosen to do IVF in October. It really isn't far away. Try to think of it as a plan in place- even though im now just petrified of how I'll cope with it failing!!! Hate my brain. I'm also now looking at overhauling both our diets a bit and start running (God forbid!) to try and give us best shot we can.

Sending you all lots of hugs! This isn't an easy road to travel.

Thanks Katy, I'll definitely ask his opinion, though I think he dies private work at create fertility so I'm guessing he'd recoopmmend that, ha! Be nice to get an unbiased view somehow. I've also heard good things about guys and st Thomas. Wow, October. Yes I can sympathise. I'm also terrified of how I'll manage a failed ivf- how long have you been trying again? And you're going to guys I presume?

Bloop- if your consultant follows the usual path for unexplained infertility she will prob at some point recommend you go on Clomid. It is really for women who are not ovulating regularly. That wasn't the case for me and they still put me on a half dose anyway. I stopped taking it after 2 months as I had side effects that I wasn't too happy about and I really didn't need it in the first place- ovulation is not my problem. If you know you ovulate regularly I wouldn't recommend but if not it can be very helpful for lots of women. Good luck!
Rose-sorry AF turned up. I am a few days away myself. Most of my hopes are gone this month as I have my usual lead up symptoms and all the possible pregnant ones have disappeared. No surprise. People that know I had the laparoscopy are half expecting me to get pregnant soon and I don't think it will be the case. Still...You never know I suppose. Trying to hold onto my more optimistic attitude I have had lately but it's not always possible. I am getting on with my life more though as I can't keep putting certain things off or living in limbo any longer. We have already planned 2 holidays within the next 6 months-one of which is a long awaited ski trip that I have always put off incase I was pregnant. We have booked a dream ski holiday over Christmas with family and I am very pleased we did. It really helps to have things to look forward to I find, and now I am not holding anyone else back due to my ongoing hopes that may never be a reality. Sigh.

Hi all my af arrived 4 days late gutted you know your not but still hold that stick under every light hoping youl get a second line.so I ovulated early and af was late iv not done temping so going to try that now I case opk is wrong just don't really understand the temping. Rose.you should write it down what you want to ask I always think of everything then I forget everything and don't get the answers! October is far away but we all live in 2 weeks ttc and 2ww so think that makes it worse but then all the babies born around us seem to grow at speed to remind us how many years we've been trying. Anna that's great you've got things to look forward to I'm the same keep putting off things and times just zooming by just got my ds uniform for p4😪 In two weeks and all the belly rubbers will now be pushing Prams🙈 Que the big smile and the when are you having more.im away to Newcastle this weekend so hoping I can relax and not think about it for 2 days.sorry about all the af arrivals count down now to start again xx

Rose- been trying for nearly 2 years my son is nearly 3. DH now has low sperm count. First time round was quick no problems and I've just turned 33. That's my story in a nutshell

I think I need to get in my head if IVF doesn't work at least I know I've tried everything. And then I need to try and work out how to move on. New job, big holiday or something.

Planning things is a good idea. It's so easy to live life on hold. Skiing sounds great!