Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

Gah just found out another neighbour is pregnant. Ffs. I'm surrounded by fertile people. This will be their number 3. No doubt she'll make others broody and they'll all soon be up the duff too. SO TIRED OF PAINTING ON A SMILE AND BEING HAPPY FOR OTHERS. I think I need to move house. Is that too extreme?

Sorry bloop I don't know anything about how to encourage ovulation but I thought it you were over 35 then they started the ball rolling after 6 months?! Surely if they know what the problem is and you are not ovulating then they should do something about it?!

Yes would have thought you would be given some help if over 35. I'm not sure on ovulation I'm afraid either. I think it is something that can be helped on the NHS though but I may be wrong.

Closephine- I'm sorry I can't stand these bloody fertile people! They are everywhere. Don't move- they are here too. Unless you want to move next door to me?? I'm facing my pregnant friend tomorrow who is suffering from sickness. Why am I doing this?! Avoided her for two weeks and I feel bad on my son who misses his friend. Will have to suck up the sickness moaning (although I'm sure I did plenty of this when pregnant!!)

Xx

Haha i suppose we could all move to the same place and take over the area with our one child families?! This is not actually sounding like a bad idea... We'll set up a school for only children so that we don't have to stand at the gates watching pregnant bellies grow or everyone else coo over the latest newborn. God sometimes this is just so HARD.

Good luck with your friend tomorrow Katy - my embarrassing tactic with my pregnant friend is basically ignore the fact she's pregnant 99% of the time until I manage to feel strong enough to ask some random question that vaguely acknowledges the fact. Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. Sounds like you're doing a better job of it. I hope she's not too insensitive.

Anna - are you about? Just wondering if you looked into the immune testing in Athens any further? Is that similar to the hidden infections tests do you know? They do them at serum in Athens I think, but I'm struggling to find any mention of it on their website (I'll admit I haven't looked that hard yet). Think at least DH needs to have them done. I've basically convinced myself Ivf will be throwing money down the drain without further testing first.

Closephine I'm sorry uberfertile neighbour's are so bloody fertile. I think it's entirely reasonable to expect them to move house! ;) Thankfully my neighbour's are all well into retirement but I've quite a few friends due the same bloody day I was in September :(

I did ask specifically about the 6months period due to my age and was told that's not a policy. I even asked if it was specifically an English policy and if being in Scotland meant that it's different here but was told it's a year, although he did look quizzically at me. I don't mind, I guess, having to wait until Dec/Jan to start treatment but they're saying they'll only start to investigate then, so earliest I could expect treatment would be March or April 2017 and I'd be unlikely to get pregnant by time I turn 42 - I'm thinking by then I'll feel too old - if I have any eggs left. I'm hoping my GP will do some more progesterone tests after I have a rant about their incompetence (they told me the prog tests were fine and I was ovulating but they were reading the advisory ranges not my results!) so by the time Dec comes the gynaes will have enough info to start right away.

You could perhaps pay privately to have your AMH and FSH levels tested and at least it would give you an idea if you really do need to start the ball rolling sooner or if you potentially have a bit of time? Also, if treatment 'simply' consists of a drug to to make you ovulate... might not be too expensive to get that prescribed privately either?!

I knew watching Miranda would make me feel better! m.youtube.com/watch?v=cHD-mMN5xF8

Thanks Closephine. My FSH is 8.1 and my amh is 17.2 - I had that done same month as last prog test but now I'm wondering if perhaps the fsh was done at the wrong time if I've not ovulated

Closephine- yes I am totally all for this!! I love the idea of this village! I do exact same thing and adopt the 99% avoid route with all other friends. With this one it's so awkward and she's totally oblivious to my pain I have to adopt an 80% chat tactic.

Bloop- that's awful! You must complain. I have only had my 21 day bloods- I was told I'd have to pay for amh testing. Maybe different in England or just useless doctors!

Katymac - I had to pay for the amh and fsh tests. I conned the nurse into giving me the day21 test as the GP refused to allow me any tests. If I hadn't succeeded I would still be none the wiser.

Hello ladies,
Yes I am here closephine! Love the idea of setting up our own 1 child village-count me in! Everyone around me seems to get pregnant without trying it really does amaze me just how fertile most people are!
I did look into the testing in Athens, even emailed back and forth with the clinic. I have decided to wait because I just had the laparoscopy and had the endometriosis removed so want to see if that helps first. The immune testing is different to the infections testing. They sent me over the details for the hidden infections as they do suggest this as a start to rule things out. The immune tests are more expensive and only if there seems to be valid reason for this possibly being an issue. I have now pretty much been told I do have an auto immune disease as endometriosis is actually one. I have other related immune issues too, like r arthritis, gluten intolerance and allergies (all related to the immune system). I may still get the tests if no pregnancy by next year, but for now I am trying to do all I can to get myself healthy and pregnant on my own. Diet and specific supplements are crucial for immune issues from all I have read and I am pretty much following them all. I don't know much about the male hidden infections tests though, might be worth getting in touch with them?
Bloop- that is not good treatment at all I can't believe it. If I were you and funds allow, I would try to see a private consultant who would almost certainly prescribe you Clomid to boost ovulation. They like to monitor your response with a follicle scan and bloods so it could get a little pricey. Still might be worth calling some clinics to find out more. It's hard to wait so long. Diet and supplements may be able to help a little too. Have a google at ovulation boosting foods. I think iron and vitamin c are big ones.

Ok 1 child village is on. Now we have to decide where. Switzerland was looking particularly lovely on a tv programme the other night. Plus if we don't speak the language we won't understand if asked 'are you going to have/didn't you want to have any more?'. Or my particular favourite 'that child needs a sibling!'.

Thanks Anna, I think I will email serum today to enquire. I think it's fairly safe to say we have ruled out lifestyle as affecting DH's count. He has tried so hard on that front and if anything it's just got worse. It's got to be worth looking into.

Been awake since 3.30 - how is it that a mere acquaintances news can affect me so badly?

P.s. I think you're right to see if anything happens in the next few months before going down the immune route, especially if it's costly. I hope you don't need to.

Hi everyone, just been catching up.
I'm definitely up for the village - count me in! I too am totally sick and tired of being surrounded by the fertiles and would love to escape. If we could all work together somewhere too? As my work seems to be some kind of fertile haven where people just need to look at each other to get pregnant
I also avoid the topic when talking to pregnant friends/ colleagues - until I get backed into a corner and have to acknowledge it with some random question, it puts me on edge constantly. I actively avoid seeing pregnant friends until I absolutely have to. I had a word with one friend last week and we were just honest with each other which was refreshing. She said she felt awkward around me as she felt bad it was her and not me and said she didn't want to say too much baby stuff to me and I said that I will sometimes just not want to talk about it. Seems like a bit of a compromise

I had a friend who struggled to get pregnant for years so when I was pregnant with Dd I was so careful not to talk about it and tried to be really sensitive about her troubles. She had some fibroids removed and all of a sudden she's popping out babies all over the place. When she heard of my troubles she told me and my friend who can never gave kids due to childhood chemo we had to just suck it up. I'm up for the village too

Ladies I think I'm finally losing my mind. DH opened the fridge earlier to find a load of glasses neatly placed on one of the shelves. I must have put them in there instead of the cupboard. No recollection of doing it and I must have had to clear a space on the shelf for them and everything I've also totally forgotten something work related that had to be ready Monday morning. Just remembered it this evening by pure chance. DH says its stress?! Wonder what could be causing that...!?

Had to endure a conversation today about how fertile our neighbourhood is. I'll be moving to the village tomorrow if anyone else wants to join!

Hi ladies,

Sorry for the quietness, I've been pretty caught up with the move and job interviews.

Closephine, how's the cycle going and when is your AF due? Hope you are feeling ok about it all, despite obviously being a little absent-minded (to be totally expected . Loving the idea of this one-child village. My friend who started trying long after we did gave birth today, it's totally unavoidable. Practically some kind of baby news every week at the moment.

Bloop, where about do you live (vaguely) if you don't mind me asking?, it's really odd that they've made a fuss about giving you a day 21 progesterone, and day 2-3 FSH levels. The AMH is quite hard to get on the NHS but the others should be totally routine. Also if they've said you are not ovulating, then they can absolutely try clomiphene (which would be on the NHS). I agree with the others that it may be worth going private if you can afford it, because it sounds like there is a lot that can be done, or being quite pushy- but that's not easy.

Oh, get this, I met a woman at a playgroup the other day, who has twin boy and girl aged 2 and a 10 month old boy. Seriously, 3 kids younger than my own?

Rose - I'll raise you those three and make it four! Ds had twin boys at his nursery I think aged about 3 (barely), they had a toddler age brother and mum just gave birth to a fourth boy about 3 weeks before the end of term. Grrr.

i am 12dpo here and 11 days after IUI. On the progesterone again so af won't arrive until I stop it. Took a test this am and it was negative. Pretty sure it would show something by now. Going to do my best to hold off until Wednesday which would technically 1.5 days late ignoring progesterone messing with cycle.

Been emailing the serum clinic in Athens. Didn't realise how cheap their Ivf cycles are - 4K for 2 rounds including imsi!! We were actually just emailing about the hidden infections tests butt it's given me food for thought...

Oh and that's in euros so it actually works out about £3300 with current exchange rate

I've spoken to a few people who've been to Serum, they say the price doesn't include medicines which can change the cost quite a bit. I'd be interested to know the average additional cost on top of ivf costs.

Rose - I'm in Glasgow - I was told they wouldn't test the progesterone as my 'periods' were monthly therefore regular. Seems I bleed monthly even when I've not been ovulating. NHS are making me wait six months before they'll offer Clomid. I'm going back to GP (again) to complain about them giving me false results and to see if they'll now test again. If I'm still showing as not ovulating then they might consider helping before next year. It could be wishful thinking. I was told that as I have a child with the same partner i'm low priority for help. It seems if I went and got a different partner they'd be more proactive.

Sorry bloop - I should have mentioned that I don't live in England. There are no facilities for Ivf where I live which means travel is inevitable and to help, our government fund the cost of the drugs. So for us, serum may be an option as the only additional cost to traveling to the uk would be and extra flight onto Athens.

Bloop - it all sounds very frustrating I hope they give you some better help soon.

Hi girls, I posted on here a while ago but have been trying to stay away from forums for a while during our second fresh Ivf cycle. I will read back through all the messages later but I'm sorry there hasn't been more success for you ladies.
Unfortunately, despite it all initially going well, our second cycle turned into a disaster and we ended up transferring two very very poor embryos a few days ago. Our chance of success is next to nothing, so I'm already looking ahead to the next step. Both Ivf cycles I have responded poorly to medication and after this latest round, the doctor and embryologist believe egg quality and low ovarian reserve for my age (30) is the problem. Closephine, we can't afford anymore treatment at home (so far we've spent over £11,000 and have nothing to show for it 🙈), so I'm now looking into a clinic in the Czech Republic for either another go with my own eggs or for donor eggs. I might be being premature with wanting to use donor eggs but I can't keep putting myself and my family through this with such a poor chance of success with my own.

Let me know when you move to your new village, and I'll pack my stuff...! Our neighbours are due their second child any day (their first is half the age of my daughter!) and our other neighbours already have two but after a huge house extension I am terrified they are planning more! I'm just waiting for the retired couple on the other side to bring a baby home from hospital - I definitely feel they've got more chance than me! Added to that, a close friend here has a 6 month old (conceived the first time they had sex after they married!) and my two best friends have a two month old and a 34 week pregnancy between them. I avoid anyone and anything to do with babies! I am the most bitter, mean, horrible person and I hate what I've turned into because I used to be quite nice! Wishing you all the best of luck, and one day, when we do finally get our babies, it will mean so much more because of the struggle. 😘 X

lat my fingers are crossed that you get a nice surprise
closephine that's great your govt will help with costs of the drugs - I don't think I'd be eligible for help in Scotland and the prices here are to high. I read a great review of serum on the fertility friends forum. It was very thorough. I think if we win the lottery I'd consider going there myself. Maybe your village could be somewhere in the sun? I'm sick of Scottish rain

Wow, that sounds awful, Lat. I'm so sorry. How long had you been trying before you started your first cycle of IVF? We are keen to go private soon, but I'm so scared of going through the turmoil you've described, not to mention the cost. Did they have a cause before you started IVF or did they only mention the egg reserve and quality after you started? I'm suspecting that's what may be our issue too, as everything else is supposedly ok.

Bloop- I assumed Scotland was still part of the normal NHS so not sure why the rules should be different but that's very frustrating for you. I hope it gets sorted soon for you.

Wow, the Athens thing sounds tempting doesn't it. We've got our follow up appointment with the NHS consultant next Monday- I don't think theres much more he can do, so going to consider going private thereafter- I can't believe we're in this situation :(

Closephine, I'm sorry you tested negative yesterday. Keeping everything crossed for you for Wednesday. Must be torture. I'm in denial at the moment that AF is due this weekend. How can a month go so fast. I feel like I've floated through this month without thinking about it too much, like some sort of protection mechanism!