Infertility Rant!

[loopylou1984]

Thread two moving on from infertility meltdown!
Feel free to join us to rant about any part of the infertility journey

Thanks Shell - I will let you know how it goes.

I'll listen to the advice of the clinic. They've been very good so far at being blunt with me when they think things won't work so I am under no illusions that they'll do the same this time. If they so no I won't push it, obviously I'll be gutted, but I'll understand.

Fx this is a new follicle which has increased in size by tomorrow's scan :) my opk was a tiny bit darker this morning, so fx we are heading in the right direction. Xx

And welcome Jam!!
This is exactly what this thread is all about, rant away!! Xx

At least if things don't go ahead this cycle sammy, it isn't too far until your next cycle assuming you will be able to try again next cycle. I've lost track of time... where are you at in your cycle now? You must be further along than I thought if you are starting to get a positive OPK, in which case I hope the follicle is a new growing one for you.

Welcome Jam. Yes, rant away. That's why we titled this thread exactly that when our old thread got filled up. If it's any reassurance, I had the endo scratch and I found it fine. I mean, I could feel it but I told myself before hand that nothing could be as bad as the emotional torment I was suffering with infertility (I went through 11 IVFs!) , nor could it be as bad as the pain of childbirth that I was hoping to go through so I don't know if it was the mental attitude that helped, but it was all fine.

Thanks Shell. Well the 14mm wasn't there today, so it must have been the old cyst. There is now an 8mm and a possible 12mm although it was on the side and she couldn't get a clear picture. This would fit with ov being around cd18 as it was the cycle after my abandoned fresh so will have to wait and see. She doesn't think we missed ov as lining and everything looks 'pre ovulatory' so just keeping everything crossed. I'm on cd13 now.

No, it wouldn't be long to wait... Only a couple of weeks until baseline again. Unless of course I don't ov at all and have a crazy long cycle or something. Xx

So it still seems all systems go for now at least then sammy. I suppose that is good if the cyst has disappeared. But as with IVF, now we just move straight on to the next worry, and you worry you won't ovulate! That's exactly how I was with my IVF! Are you sending yourself mad doing home OPK's now or just going by the scans at the clinic - when do you next go in. I really hope it works for you - I know how tormenting the whole thing is and it's such a big crash down when it doesn't work. Will wait for your next update xox

Hi All! Just wondering if you can help or advice me on this infertility issue. My dh and I recently got our tests back from the GP and they came back saying my 21 days bloods were at 90 but my oh has a low sperm count, we have now been referred to St Barts fertility clinic. Does anybody have some info on what that the next steps or process is from here? We have been trying for 2 years now and im so down thinking that we could possibly wait for another 2 years until a BFP.. Thanks x

Hi stace - the good news is you have a diagnosis. So that is something to fix.
I think with low count you will be recommended IVF with icsi, but I can't comment on the waiting times I'm afraid.
Is this a nhs referral? You should be able to look up the waiting times for your area online. Xx

Shell - yes doing the opks like a mad woman, and I don't think I'm going to ov to be honest. Although the lining today looked better than Saturday apparently... I'm so confused!
Also slightly worried that my lining is just always thin, and that's why we haven't conceived over the last 2 years???

Hi Sammylou, thanks for the reply! Yes your defo correct, at least we now know what the problem is so can look to trying to fix it. Yes it is an NHS referral, still waiting on the referral letter itself so I can imagine we have a long wait!! I shall have a look online now re waiting times etc. Thanks x

Welcome Stace. We too were give male factor diagnosis - my hubby had slightly low sperm count and motility, but the main issue was he had 100% abnormal morphology, with the acrosome, outer layer of the sperm containing the enzymes needed to penetrate the egg either small or missing. I did lots of research online an gave hubby an array of supplements which definitely increased sperm count and motility, but did nothing for morphology. He needed to improve his terrible diet to fix his issue which he refused to do and it caused much contention. So if your hubby is not against supplements, I hope they help him too. Even if it wasn't to lead to natural conception, at least it would help with your chances when IVF/ICSI gets underway. As for waiting times, I am in Australia so not familiar with your system but from others in here, it does seem painfully slow.

So today is CD17 now sammy and I really hope your starting to get a positive OPK! The lining thickens as a result of increasing estrogen levels, so there must be at least one follicle growing for that to be happening. I can completely relate to your fears of a thin lining. My period consisted of about one tablespoon of blood on day 1, the same on day 2, then perhaps a tiny drop of blood on day 3. I tried all sorts of natural remedies I read online, but the only thing that helped was having the scratch. And because I was being monitored with scans on my 11 IVF cycles, I could see first hand the difference this made to the lining thickness.

Hi Shellster! And thanks for the help

Yes my husband is defo up for doing his part and he has an awful diet and always has since a young age so I think this is gonna be hard to change! He has a child from a previous relationship so was very doubtful it was down to him in the beginning.. Just hoping this will give him a kick up the bum! Lol

I take it you are now undergoing IVF also?! How is it going for you? X

Well stace, if your hubby at least has good intentions to do his part - at least that's a start! My hubby refused to change from the get go, and I really resented him for it. I wondered if our marriage would survive if I hit 40 and my fertility was over and I forever lived with the resentment that I couldn't have another child because of his crap eating.

Lucky for me, I finally had success on my 11th IVF attempt and am now 18 weeks pregnant. After so many failures, I still expect something to go wrong this time and am dreading my upcoming 20 week ultrasound showing what is wrong. But I remember when others on another mumsnet thread were all having IVF success while I was having failure after failure, and they then went on saying how anxious they were about everything being normal in the scans and I just couldn't sympathise with them as I could only dream of being in their position. So I'll try not to rant on too much about it.

You sound in good spirits. I suppose at least finally getting a diagnosis and moving on to the next step feels like at least something pro-active is happening instead of just waiting and wondering. When will you get some idea of the expected wait?

Stace if your partner has fathered a child before he may have a variable sperm count. Has the test been repeated?

We have dc1 and had him absolutely no problem. First month we tried.
We then tried for dc2 for over three years. Dh had ok count but very low morphology and motility. His diet was ok but he was a fairly heavy drinker and he was overweight. He took supplements, stopped drinking, started exercising, lost two stone...and nothing. Zero improvement.
We then had two rounds of IVF icsi and then a donor round. And nothing.
So we pretty much gave up. Dh started drinking again, put back on all the weight he'd lost, stopped taking supplements, I stopped taking folic acid...and you know what I'm going to say don't you? I got pregnant. I'm 26 weeks now and can't quite believe it. I never ever ever thought we'd be here. We were going to have another donor round as dh's sperm never improved and we had multiple tests.

So I'm not going to be one of those stupid annoying people who say 'stop trying and it might happen' but I will say that if your partner has had a child before and all is good with you then don't abandon all hope. Yes it will probably take longer but don't think it's impossible.

Hey Shell... 11th IVF try?! Wow that's a very long time to wait! I'm assuming that costs ALOT too?! Eitherway I wish you the best of luck!

Hey Givinguphope! Your name says how I feel lol. Congrats to you by the way! My DH only did the one semen analysis and now we have been referred so I'm assuming they will have him do it again at the fertility clinic?! Anxiously waiting for our referral letter which was supposedly sent out last Wednesday!

Last month I felt like we gave it our best shot, I was talking lots of vits, eating right, excercising, DTD every other day, used preseed.. So when AF arrived I was quiet down for a while then thought forget it! Let's just give up until our fertility app but now I feeling I can't give up! Have ordered opk now so that we can give it another shot this month. You never know!

Oh Stace, as I read your post, it brings flooding back the memories of when we were trying naturally. It's exactly as you describe - trying to do everything right and DTD at the right time and get your hopes up, then come crashing down when AF arrives. I would make a trip to the bottle shop at this point. Then a few days later, you start picking yourself up to try again as ovulation is again approaches and the emotional roller coaster starts again. Yep, 11 IVF cycles! Can't quite believe that myself when I say it but after each failure, I just couldn't accept that I would never have a sibling for DS and so the only other option was to try again. I was too scared to add up the costs as I went along but I should do that now that I know it was all worthwhile.

So the referral was sent to you? And then once it arrives, you can give it to the fertility clinic and go in the queue? Not quite sure how your system works but I do remember both Ruby and chops on here ranting away about how long everything took and how referrals were supposed to happen that never did unless they chased it up. So perhaps don't be afraid to be pro-active and ring and chase up if a referral should have been sent by now but hasn't been.

Hi Shellster52! Yes it most definitely is an emotional roller coaster! One minute i feel optimistic and the next i just want to cry my eyes out! My dh doesnt quiet get why i am taking it so badly but he doesnt seem to realise that its my body and i sort of feel like it is letting me down?! Bless him, when my af arrived this month he came home with a box of chocolates for me

As you said, i am going to call the doctors right now and find out where my referral letter is! It seems im gonna now be spending my time chasing!

Still cant believe it took you 11 cycles though! Im gobsmacked! lol. I think we are offered 3 cycles for free and im just hoping if thats the case, it happens in that time! We couple prob cover 1 or 2 ourselves but no where near 11!!! x

I think I'm the exception to the rule. Most people have success before 11 cycles (or quit!) I had premature ovarian failure and would only produce 3-4 eggs at a time, and then because DH had dud sperm, it was probably less likely that they would put a good sperm with my egg when they only had 3 to 4 chances to pick a good sperm. I also did my first 4 cycles at a cheapo clinic and I realised why they were cheaper and then moved to a more expensive clinic. For my last two cycles, I found out I could pay extra for HA sperm selection and then I really had good quality embryos, so I really believe that made a difference in selecting hubbys few good sperm. Do you get to choose which clinic you can go to or is it up to the NHS?

3 cycles covered by the NHS is amazing. From what I read on here, most areas seem lucky to get 1 or 2 goes. Good luck chasing up your referral. At least it sounds like you have a lovely supportive husband. Is it rude to ask how old you are - just curious to get an idea as to how well you will respond to IVF?

My GP has referred us to St Barts in London (not sure where you're from..) which im happy with but to be honest i dont have any reviews or info to go by so im not sure! As far as im aware they have a good success rating..!?

I am 27 and my husband is 28. What age were you when you started IVF? My oh already has a child from when he was much younger and ive heard conflicting views on whether the NHS will offer us IVF? I've read that as long as we dont have children together its fine but then others say no children at all between us?!

I chased them up, as you said i should, haha and they confirmed that the referral letter was only sent to St Barts 2 days ago!! So more waiting for the actual appointment letter to be sent to me now!

Welcome to the group Stace I see you're being looked after :-)

We also had sperm issues, dh had low morphology but normal count and motility. We went for tests after 15 cycles TTC april 2014 and were referred to the clinic and had our first appointment September. As dh's sperm wasn't too bad we were offered 3 rounds of iui followed by one round of icsi. Have you had a hsg or ultrasound yet? You'll need those before being offered treatment. Fingers crossed you will be allowed 3 ivf tries. Anyway we went for our first iui in Jan this year but as dh had been ill a few months before his sperm were too poor and we were told to come back in 3 months when they would have regenerated or try icsi. I didn't want to miss out on the iui goes plus I wanted to try the most less invasive procedures first! We ended up conceiving naturally during that time!! Lost track of cycle number but it was from Dec 2012 to march 2015. To improve dh's sperm he quit smoking, gave up caffeine, took Wellman vitamins and 1000mg Vit C. Plus I started cooking healthier meals for the pair of us.

Good luck :-)

Hi Chopsface

No I've not had anything done other than my 21 day bloods which came back fine. Awaiting on our referral letter/ appointment to get things moving!

I requested a copy of my oh test results which I got today and saw that it says motility 50%.. Right at the bottom it says: eligible for ICSI only. I'm abit worried as to why we are not eligible for IVF too, is this a bad thing?

Congrats to you! X

50% motility is a normal result stace is it the count that's suboptimal? Icsi gives you a better chance as they insert the sperm into the egg rather than put them in a dish to do their own thing :-) I've noticed that different nhs trusts have different ways of doing things. In my area the GP sorted out all the tests before referral and we needed all the results to see the consultant. Dh had 2 sperm tests and then a 3rd more detailed one at the clinic itself. I had day 21 and day 3 bloods, a internal and external ultrasound (plus another internal at the clinic) and a hsg which was organised at the clinic. From start to finish the tests took up 8 months of 2014! Once we got to the clinic and offered treatment there was no waiting list, but I know that varies by postcode too and is really bad in Wales/Scotland! If your partner has previously fathered a child there could still be hope of boosting his sperm with lifestyle and supplements though. It happened for us naturally when we were told there was a small % chance. It just might take a bit longer than some. You also have age on your side. Me and my dh are 35 and 37 now.

Oh yes in May 2014 dh had 2% normal morphology. In March 2015 after months of supplements and quitting smoking and caffeine his result said 6% normal morphology. This was enough of a change to allow us to make a baby that month! I'm now nearly 34 weeks pregnant! Life finds a way x x

Golly shell how did you get to be 18 weeks already :-D

Hey Chopface! I can't find where it says the actually semen count on the results paper?! I can see it says motility 40%(overall) and 50% head defects, 30% mid body defects.. It just says diagnosis is low sperm count basically and that ICSI eligible only. Yes I think we are being referred to carry on the tests at the clinic as our GP said she cannot do anything more for us at the surgery. Patiently waiting for the letter and appointment to get things moving!

My husband has a VERY sweet tooth so has a poor diet. He is now cutting down on sweets, cakes, biscuits etc and I'm trying to get him to eat more healthy eve meals with veg (hates fruit). I've also ordered wellman conceive vits for him!

As you said, hoping that due to our age we are able to just keep trying and conceive naturally! Thanks so much for your responses, means a lot

I can imagine how crazy happy you were when you got your BFP! Congrats again and good luck! X

Hi ladies, I fell of the thread so apologies for the lack of posts!
Hope everyone is ok? Have had a crazy busy weekend, but long story short. Friday mornings opk was negative and scan still not showing a thick enough lining and no dominant follicle. Then fri evening opk much darker and still was yesterday although not positive yet. I have done this mornings yet, but am keeping everything crossed that my lining will have grown by tomorrow's scan. Xx

Stace, I'm actually in Australia but I have read of others on here not able to do IVF because one partner has a child from a previous relationship so unfortunately this one seems to be the case as per other Mumsnetters - although your OH's test results that comment 'eligible for ICSI only' seem to indicate otherwise? But if that is the case that you are not eligible, hopefully that doesn't stop them from being able to investigate further and help in other ways? Good on you for chasing up! So the referral letter is finally sent and now it's a matter of waiting to see how long the clinic takes to forward you appointment details!

Yes, funny chops how the day after day of suffering infertility went glacial slow and now I am 19 weeks and 2 days - and you are 34 weeks!!!! I know you will be busy in another 6 weeks time, but you will have to try to pop back after it all happens and let me know how the birth went. I'm really interested in other peoples stories and advice from their births to try to make mine a better experience after my first was a disaster. But I'll understand if you're too busy admiring your boy!

Your cycle seems to be moving along very slowly sammy with today being day 23 and only now starting to show a darker OPK result. But at least it's finally happening. Hoping your scan shows a follicle that is about to burst and a nice thick lining. Is this normal for you to have such a delayed ovulation or could it be your cycle and hormones out of whack after receiving treatment last cycle?