Infertility Rant!

[loopylou1984]

Thread two moving on from infertility meltdown!
Feel free to join us to rant about any part of the infertility journey

1st scan on Monday was fine, lining not ready though so had another scan this morning.
Had an awful night last night of being sick which they have put down to the estrogen tablets and so as lining was still not thick enough today they have canceled the cycle again :(. They said I couldn't go through last night for the next 14 weeks.

The next step is a natural cycle after next bleed, but tbh right now it just feels like 'what's the point?' Something is bound to go wrong.

Am absolutely gutted, it feels like we're just not meant to be parents. We had plans for a holiday at the beginning of November (uk if successful and abroad if not) and now we can't even book that. Feeling very sad at the moment. X

Oh sammy so sorry to read your news :-( what a shitter. Don't give up though, have a cry, eat some chocolate and feel sad for a few days but then you need to get back on that horse. Big hugs sweetheart x

Thank you chops. I'm alright, it was just a massive shock as we had no idea there was any risk of a FET being cancelled. I'm just willing af to arrive quickly so I can try to book in the naturally cycle. We are allowed to start right away, but only if they have slots available as obviously they can't plan for us this month as no idea when af will arrive. Xx

Hmm, so af just arrived!
'Im just waiting to win the lottery' - let's see if this works too! Xx

Hello sammy, I wrote this whole long post after your devastating news and then something went wrong and it didn't post! Personally I don't understand why they medicate for a frozen cycle and the only logical reason I can see is so that the clinic can have control of the timing of things so they can fit you around their schedule rather than having to accommodate your natural cycle.

Will this current cycle you just started be a normal one, if your last cycle wasn't normal? I just know that your hormones have to go through the normal progression of a normal cycle for your endometrium to be at the correct 48 hour window of implantation when the embryo is trying to implant and I desperately want this to work for you so I'm a bit worried it won't be. But I totally understand wanting to quickly move past the failure of your last cycle and get on with the hope of a fresh FET cycle.

Can someone educate me what happens on a natural cycle FET?

Everything crossed for you sammy I take it this is also being paid for privately?

Hey both,

Yes we are paying privately. Although we only have to pay £600 to cover the scans we had last cycle, the rest is transferred over.

Shell - I asked them that, 'why do they do medicated over natural' and they said exactly what you said. It's easier to plan and they use the drugs to build up the lining (and something about it being ever so slightly more successful - which I'm choosing not to listen to!).

Yes, it should be a normal cycle, the consultant has said it's fine to go ahead so fx. I'm going to be closely monitored for lining I think... Will know more after scan on Thursday.

Chops - I'm not 100% sure yet, but no medication! Woo! Basically I think I have to opk and go for scans until I ovulate and lining is optimum, then they pop the blastocyst in... Will correct this on Thursday if I'm wrong! Xx

Good luck tomorrow sammy x

Thanks chops, all was ok. Gotta start opks from Tuesday! Xx

Just popping back to wish all you ladies good luck with your baby journeys - I had twin boys last Tuesday (6th), they are lovely, all my TTC and long infertility journey was worth it and I am so grateful to have had your help along the way!!

The birth wasn't a great experience - I was very poorly afterwards, although thankfully the boys are fine - but as you know, I'm unlikely to do this again anyway.

Sending you all lots of love and good wishes xxx

Congratulations Ruby, but sorry to hear you were poorly. Glad you and your sons are ok now. What have you named them? Xx

Hi all. Is it OK if I jump in? I know it's a longstanding thread but I feel I need some support on what is proving to be quite a challenging time . I've posted separately to explain my situation (please see if you're up to it) but in a nutshell, I'm 42, have a 7 year old DS from ICSI, and just tried 2 back to back natural FETs which both failed. Two more in the freezer & currently undergoing complex and shockingly investigations before doing the next 2 and final FETs which most likely will be the end of the road for us. Anyway. Hope I can offer support to others too... Have been feeling really down with the 2 BFNs, one after the other. I had forgotten after all these years how heartbreaking the whole thing is...

Congratulations ruby!! Glad you're all OK and you're recovering from the birth now. How many weeks gestation did you get to? Were they c section?

Hi worried sorry to hear about your unsuccessful attempts :-( it must be heartbreaking for you. Will you try again? Trying for a baby is bloody awful. I'm lucky to be currently pregnant but when I tell people this will be an only child they say "yeah yeah, you'll change your mind". No, no I won't. The journey to get here was crap and I will not put myself through it again. If you've not been through infertility you can't understand. Rant over

Sorry just read your post more thoroughly good luck with your other frosties. What investigations are you having?

Welcome worried - sorry to hear you've been struggling, but welcome to the thread.

When are you planning on the next FET? Xx

Hi all and thanks for welcoming me here

Chopsface: congratulations on your pregnancy! How far along are you? And what treatment did you have to get here? Yes it's a crap process and I can understand why someone wouldn't want to do it again. We had an ICSI (which became our DS who is now 7 years old). We were lucky at the time and it worked first time, so even though we went through infertility, we didn't have then the heartbreaking experience of having failed attempts. We waited a long time for reasons that were unrelated to the infertility / fertility process. Now that we're trying again, it's mostly because we have those long-frozen embryos.

Sammylou1 hello! We have 2 more to go and I'll do the 2 attempts starting from next month. This month it's investigations.

I'm having lots of investigations, some of which feel to me over the top as there's no indication there's anything wrong with me apart from the fact that the 2 attempts didn't work. The investigations have overloaded my credit card so I'm not too happy about that--they cost double a FET attempt!!!!

worried it's a good thing that your frosties are from your earlier younger eggs! I hope the investigations shed some light on what's going on and your next transfer is successful. Does the length of time frozen have an affect?

My 32 week pregnancy is actually from normal conception. We were diagnosed with male factor May 2014 and were offered treatment but I had a bit of a freak out and needed time to think about it. We went for our first treatment Jan '15 but it was cancelled as dh's sperm sample was too poor. We went back again in March '15 and the baseline scan showed that my lining was too thick and I had a follicle too large to start stimulation. That overgrown follicle at cd3 somehow ended up being the egg that was fertilized by dh's duff sperm and embedded into my too thick for treatment womb lining! I now have a miracle totally healthy baby boy in my tummy! I f'ing love this story and I can tell my bean that I saw him on 'the telly' right from when I was an egg.

Chopsface: what a story! I'm sure your child will really really enjoy hearing this in the future.

In terms of the length of time frozen, no I don't think it has an effect.

Of course you are welcome worried. When our old thread filled up, we especially picked the title of this thread so that anyone needing to rant about their infertility struggle felt welcome to join. As the others already know, I am currently 17 weeks pregnant from my 11th IVF attempt! I too already have a 4 year old, so I am very fortunate that this pregnancy completes our family (if I can call myself fortunate by having to do 11 IVF cycles while others fall pregnant at the drop of a hat!). So I totally get the desperation for IVF to work even though you already have one and wanting a sibling for DS. You sound like you had a textbook perfect cycle with your first IVF for it to be successful first time and end up with a whopping 4 in the freezer! So I can imagine it's quite a shock to have two back to back FET failures, and must be a different feeling knowing that you have two chances left. What day were they frozen at? What sort of investigations are you undergoing? They certainly know how to charge in the IVF world don't they! I didn't do many of the investigations that I read others doing on here and I guess I was lucky that I at least knew I had DS and so I had no immune/implantation issues etc. I have read that as we get older, our cycles generally get lighter and I definitely noticed that my already light periods are even more light these days. I had 'the scratch' before my last to transfers, one which resulted in a m/c and the other my miracle baby. Because I was doing IVF, I saw first hand how it helped me have a thicker lining compared to previous failed IVF cycles. So that's the only practical thing I can think to suggest.

Curious how you get on sammy?

chops can't agree more with 'If you've not been through infertility you can't understand. Rant over'. Wow, 32 weeks - only 8 to go!@#! Are you getting nervous about birth or is ignorance bliss, not having done it before and just enjoying your belly?

I'm in ignorant bliss shell

Shell - I have a scan tomorrow.

I'm so worried as have been cramping for the last few days though, I'm not sure if iv ovulated early or what???

Shellster hi. How wonderful that you've got pregnant...but 11 IVF attempts is a lot, you must have gone through such a difficult time. It's worth it, but really a hard process. At age 42+, I'm not sure I would continue down the road if our FETs don't work. But we'll see.

In terms of the investigations. Doctor suggested (after 2 back to back failed FETs):

1. immune tests (done)
2. other blood tests to check thyroid / blood clotting issues etc (done)
3. he also suggested a mega-expensive thing called an ERA test which basically includes the scratch but goes one step further, 'biopsing' the lining of the womb on the cycle before the FET, checking it's receptive & identifying the 'perfect' window for implantation, even identifying the particular 12 hours for the month after that would be the best. It costs something like 1,500£ though.... . You basically do a whole cycle as if you would be doing a natural FET but when 'transfer time' comes, instead of the FET you do the ERA test.

I had decided to do all these things & to hell with the money (credit card to the rescue) and then to move on in november with FET.

However: Newest complication is that I now have a uterine polyp (small). They discovered this yesterday. So we're abandoning the ERA cycle and moving ahead with taking out polyp operation next week . This then poses a dilemma for me:

First, the polyp operation is also very expensive (waiting to do it at NHS would take maybe even a year). Also, it would mean that if I have to wait to do ERA test next cycle (november) I'm looking at FET in january as december clinic doesn't work around chritmas etc. However, doing FET in january and potentially another FET in february pushes me really close to a dangerous situation where depending on when due date would be, if I were to get pregnant, I wouldn't qualify for maternity payments at work. Which is super important.

So, long story short, I'm considering not doing the ERA test, and asking about doing FET next month and whether the scratch can be done during polyp removal next week (so I'll be happily asleep during it!! )

Argggh, I hate all these complicated decisions...

So my scan showed a 14mm follie and a 6mm lining. No sign of anything strange to have caused the cramping.

The only concern is that there was a 14mm follie at my baseline and if this is the same one then it obviously isn't growing.
She said if the other ones gone and this is a new one then the pain could have been the old follie shrinking back.

Have another scan tomorrow to see how things are going. Xx

sammy, after my first couple of IVF cycles, I desperately wanted to get on with things the very next cycle as I couldn't bear the failure and needed to quickly fix it with a success. I would always have a large follicle at my baseline scan. I would also have day 2/3 bloods and these would be all out of whack. THat's why I was concerned when you said you were trying again the very next cycle as I know my hormones and ovaries were never normal and could not see how an embryo could implant as there is a specific 24-48 window when the uterus is receptive to implantation and worried this wouldn't happen for you if your cycle is out of whack - which would only lead to more devastation for you. Let us know how you get on tomorrow xox.

Yes worried, 11 IVF cycles was a lot! Can't believe I did that many myself in hindsight! I am 38 now and knew I was running out of time so I just had to keep trying. Sounds like your Dr is very thorough. I never had the immune and blood clotting tests done as I was reassured by the fact that I already had DS conceived naturally so I thought this couldn't be an issue. Despite all my obsessive research throughout my IVF saga, I never heard of the ERA test. Does sound worthwhile though to know the perfect time for implantation and eliminate that as a reason for failure. But I understand the importance of money (I too have a $6,000 credit card debt after all my IVF treatment that I'm desperately trying to pay off before I stop work) so I understand that money is a factor if doing the ERA test pushes back FET and affects maternity payment. Is the uterine polyp new or could that explain the two FET failures? I'm from Australia so don't quite understand your system, but sounds crazy that maternity payments are somehow based on your baby's due date?!?!

Enjoy the ignorant bliss chops!

Hi Im new but fancied a rant ;), no one i know really understands how u feel but then I seen this thread ..... I'm on Norethisterone and start first round of IVF in early November. I always knew something wasn't right and started going to gynae at 19 with painful periods, I have since been diagnosed with pcos, then was given metformin had two surgerys one in which my Fallopian tube was removed. I found out yesterday I have shingles which is not good as wanted to be as healthy as could be at this time :( . I'm also bit scared of some of the procedures in having next month including endo scratch etc. Really hoping I get my miracle baby next year xx everything crossed