Anyone starting IVF soon? Join me (3)

[purplemeggie]

Ha! I was just about to post the last message in the old thread linking to this, but I'm too late, we've already filled it up! I'll do the same as last time and send PMs to everyone who's been on the thread recently, but everyone's welcome

Good luck Karou! Don't drink it all before you set off - take some for the journey & sip it on the way. I think I way over did it! It was pretty uncomfortable for the whole time.

As for how it feels, no different! Very strange. Not really sure what to do with myself already. I hope I'm still bloated from the collection and not just fat already from comfort eating. Want to go out 7 get some exercise but also want to take it easy. Jeans are uncomfortable for lounging around so I feel like I'm constantly in my lounge pants. Might need to get some slightly more attractive ones!

I'm right with you ranch all aboard on Saturday, and sounds like a similar experience. How are you planning on getting through until the 12th? It'll be the same test day for me, but i get to POAS. Bah I'd much rather a definitive blood test.

Thanks for the support Cat and letting us know what the 'our soul' was peddling .

Purple I hope you are able to feel a bit better. I understand a little, this being our one and only shot, but i have no idea, for the very same reason. It it must be self preservation. I hope you have lots around you to give you hugs and support, and of course you have us. Your boss sounds amazing. Have you got a plan of action for next week?

Shellster You said it much better than I did. For your info, mine was an ultrasound guided transfer, and they didn't say to lie still for a bit, which I wouldn't have been able to. She did say they weren't going anywhere, so I'm guessing if they are 'glued' in, then that's that.

Good luck tomorrow Karou, and well done for making it to 5 days. I looked it up, before I went for my ET, and it takes around 45 mins for liquid to get from mouth to bladder. As Ranch said, I would sip on your way (depending on the length of your journey obv), so you aren't bumping about with a semi full bladder. I think it takes less time personally . When will your test day be?

So I had a call on Saturday morning to say we were on for the afternoon. We had a 5 cell and 7 cell (which had become 8 cell by the time we got there), so had both put in. I was happy for them to do that if it ups our odds, and they were happy for me medically to do that. I guess the 5 cell was better off in me that risking it going to day 5 and not being good enough for freezing. My clinic has never talked in terms of grading. They didn't say there was any fragmentation, but the other 2 eggs were only at 4 cell, and they said they would keep them cooking to see if they did anything, but it was unlikely. I suppose if they do do anything, we could freeze them.
I was allowed to go for a little wee before ET as they had taken so long with the couple before me, I was in agony. And I still won bladder of the day . Must be what they say to all the girls eh? No tender moments with Dh and laying there in wonder at the moment, rather scrabbling to get my pants on and dashing out the door leaving Dh behind to put his shoes on!
I have been quite tender since EC and even have a bruise on my tum from where they were prodding me to get to my hidden left ovary. I was getting worried on Friday night, as it was not getting better and i was still spotting, quite pink. They cleared me out on ET, saying it was the punctures, which weren't anything to worry about. Much better today, but have to remember to take it easy, as I am always the first to jump in and help people.
Well, not that I think anyone is fascinated by what i have been up to, I thought I'd let people know if they are going through the same, so forgive me writing so much.

Good luck again for tomorrow Karou and hello to everyone else. Have a great week.

ranch, hopefully you'll need to get some slightly more attractive lounge pants because you'll be wearing them for the next 9 months!

bedouin, no need to apologise for the long post. I'm enjoying reading your journeys on here while I wait impatiently for my IVF cycle to start. 8 cells sounds like a textbook day 3 embryo from what I've read so that sounds promising.

So now we've just got to hear how your transfer goes karou and then I'll just wait to hear reports of obsessive symptom spotting from all of you girls to remind me of the insane woman I will be in a few weeks time!

I'm back from the clinic with one on board. Of my three, one stopped developing, but the other two were both good quality. I opted to have one returned and keep one to be frozen.

My test date is, and I gave a little smile when they told me, the 12th June, so I'm going to be bubbling up to the same boiling point as Ranch and Bedouin.

It was all pretty much the same as the other two experienced. I had a little lie down afterwards whilst they checked the catheter to make sure the embryo had definitely gone. The clinic have been pretty much fantastic through all of this; I got a sort of running commentary of each step, and the ultrasound monitor was angled so I could see what was happening. Once it was all done I was given the post-transfer instructions, and an envelope with the test in. I'll be POAS rather than bloods. They told me all kinds of reasons why not to test early. I might have ordered a couple of FRER sticks, and I might already have some internet cheapies, so will see how desperate I get! I'm camping at the weekend and then back to work next week so should hopefully not have time to be worrying about whether it's worked.

Great news Blue, the 12th it is! First of 3 days off work and whilst I'm not missing the stress I'm bored stiff! Cold & windy but want to go for a little walk. Instead I've cranked the heating up & watching A Place in the Sun.
Still don't feel any different except a little icky from the pessaries. Only Google-ing I've done is what a 4 day old embryo looks like. Trying to ignore every twinge and normal feeling but the 12th feels sooooooo far away.

Hi Ladies
I came back from the camping trip a couple of days early because the weather wasn't great and our friends were leaving. Had a lovely time and it took my mind off things - decided to come clean about why I wasn't drinking and they were lovely and supportive.

But. I POAS this morning and it was a bfn . Obviously I'll keep taking the meds until Friday, which is OTD, but I'm sure that it would have shown up by now if it was going to - today is day 28, so AF would normally be due. And Friday will be 14 days ptd, so waiting that long really feels like overkill.

I'm feeling very sad. That's it - quite a calm sad - haven't crashed and had the tears and the raging yet and I'm not sure if/when that will happen - DS has a couple of INSET days (that's teacher training days, when the school is closed, Shellster) and I'm looking after him on my own so I can't fall apart. But I confess he is watching rather more tv than is ideal today.

But I'm already moving the goalposts. We could just about stretch to another fresh cycle plus associated FETs with a new donor and now that I've heard the door slam, I don't think I'm ready to turn the key after all. We're very keen on eliminating the "what ifs" in life and at the moment, I'm wondering "what if we picked a duff donor". DH is coming round to the idea, so long as we promise ourselves that this really will be the last whirl.

I'm not sure yet. When we had the last cycle failure, I was ready to knock it on the head, but we had our three frosties. I'm not sure why I'm feeling like this now - and maybe when the dust has settled I won't want to open it all up again. I'm also going to be doing some research and talking to the clinic about why donor cycles fail...if we're just throwing good money after bad, then I'd rather spend it on doing something special for ds.

Sorry to be so down when so many of you are 2ww'ing. There are happy endings out there to be had: we have our very own Cat as a pin-up girl and I've just had a pm from a lovely lady on a donor thread I've been on to say she's 9 weeks pregnant with twins. It does happen.... xxx

Oh purple. I read your post about an hour ago but just couldn't come up with a reply. What to say? Our minds try to come up with some logical explanation as to what could have gone wrong and how to fix this and I've found myself doing this on your behalf. You've now got youthful eggs and have seen the embryos make it all the way to day 5 and just have to implant. You've had DS & sadly miscarriages so you know the embryo can implant. So I can see how the mind could conclude faulty donor.

But then I remember that you've had AF symptoms during your own egg IVF cycles by now as well as spotting. You mention nothing of AF symptoms this time and it is only day 28 when you and I both only got the faintest of faint lines AFTER our AF was due with DS's. So I hope I am correct that my logical conclusion is that it was just too early to test but your lack of AF symptoms or spotting is a positive sign.

I don't know if that is reassuring or just plain annoying. When I was briefly pregnant before having an early miscarriage with the heaviest period of my life, someone tried to give me hope by saying that some people still bleed and I could still be pregnant. I know they were just trying to be hopeful for me but I just found it plain annoying. If my comment makes you feel the same way, I apologise. But they were saying that to me out of desperate hope. I am feeling this way about your embryos because this really does seem like the most likely possibility.

Shellster you've put into words just what I was thinking last night, and I wasn't brave enough to put it down. Purple I so want this to work for you that my head is filled with all the "it's not over yet" scenarios, but I'm not sure that's helpful for you at this stage.

There's nothing any of us can say to make it better, but Friday is still a long way off and I'm secretly hoping you're going to join me as a pin-up.

I echo everything above purple.

I would like to do the same Purple, we're rooting for you.

Thank you all. Not sure where I'd be without you lot xxx

Hello Purple. Delurking to say I'm so very sorry to read this today. You have always been so supportive of everyone on this thread and full of common sense and positivity.

Have you had any immunes investigated/hysto done at all? You sound at the same stage we are at. We were determined that the previous IVF would be the end of it all, but we are still having discussions about donor eggs and whether we are done with it all. Can you sit on it all for a while and see how you feel when you've had chance to think it all over? We both wrote down a list of all the pros/cons of it all and have decided to wait for a few months while I carry on researching stuff. Maybe we'll get a magic sign as to what we should do.

I hope that Friday brings better news and you can come to a decision you are happy with.

We're here for you, Purple. Will put the hope banner aside for now, but my fingers remain crossed for you and for everyone else in this boat.

Oh Purple - just logged in and saw your post. Sorry I missed it yesterday. What horrible news. In the past you mentioned that you didn't get a BFP with your DS until quite late. I know it's a long shot but I do think you should test again on your OTD, just in case.

I'm so disappointed for you. I know that 'sad calm' feeling very well. Perhaps the anger and tears will come - on the other hand, sometimes making a plan B helps. It sounds like you're already considering next steps. It's tough isn't it - the rational part of our brain tells us to stop, but the emotional part can't give up. You don't want to have regrets down the line - I totally get that. Maybe you did get a dud donor. Have you had a hysteroscopy recently? Were you on prednisolone this time around? There may be additional things you can do to help with implantation, if you do decide to try again.

Anyway, take some time to think it through. Is there a counsellor you could speak to, perhaps at your old UK clinic? I recently met with one at my clinic and it was great - I haven't done any counselling up until now. I was surprised at all the frustration and upset I had stored up. I found the session very helpful and therapeutic, perhaps it might help you too.

It also sounds as though you're open to adoption (via your Dad's recommendation!) so perhaps that's something you could think about at the same time as considering another DE cycle. I had an initial call with a couple of agencies in London recently and I found it useful for planning purposes.

Sending you a hug - I wish I could make this easier for you. x

Hello lovely ladies. Thank you for all the support - it does help, really it does.

I tested again this morning - still very resolutely negative. There isn't a nurse available to do a blood test on Friday, so I've booked in tomorrow. Yes, my bfp was late with my son, but not this late, now .

I think we're talking ourselves into one last last last cycle with a new donor. I will talk to the clinic about why things might not have worked. If we're just one of the unlucky 15 % (we were given cumulative odds of 85% with two consecutive double-embryo transfers), then it's worth another go.

Sunshine - lovely of you to delurk to send me some sunshine. Thank you .

Blue Yes, I was on prednisolone, but a tiny dose - just half a pill a day. Not a hysteroscopy as such, but very detailed ultrasound exam before each of the transfers. Not sure if I can access the counselling at the UK clinic....I would guess only while you're an active patient...not sure.

I just don't know about adoption. I'm so scared that we have this settled life - that ds has it quite easy and comfortable - and that taking in a little person who has had a really tough start in life would turn all that upside down. If we adopted locally, there's no chance we'd get a baby - we'd be looking at a 3 yo at the very least. Which might be no bad thing, given the age gap with DS - someone to play with straight away - but would come with its own issues. And if we adopted overseas, the wait would be that bit longer - clearance here, red-tape over there. Worry about whether we'd done the right thing by everyone....I'm not in the right head-space to think about that yet.

I think that's a lot of the problem...time feels as if it's slipping away so fast and I need to make decisions and get on with things for DS.

Purple I missed your post - and all the others - as I'm poorly with some darn bug I can't shift. I think everyone has said the same words I would have offered, and all I can really add is that I am so sorry that this cycle hasn't worked for you. I've had one failed cycle that crushed me, though I think you perhaps have more PMA than I do at present. I'm a strategist and I think I can see you looking ahead potentially to another cycle, perhaps with another donor? Just a tiny thought, could the technique during transfer have been wrong? I've read so many times that the technique is crucial for a successful transfer...just a thought. 2 blastocytes from a 20 year old must have really put you in the high ranks of success. I wish IVF was an exact science and we could see exactly what went wrong, in order to eliminate that risk next time.

I really do feel out of the loop with everyone so massive apologies. But I can see Karou is now on 2ww...how is it going Karou? Are you finding lots of nice active and not so active things to distract you? I think we are both using donor sperm for our cycles...I don't feel quite as odd knowing another woman is in the same position as myself.

Shellster devastating to read about your low follicle count and especially after all the hard work you had put into homing your body and diet etc to increase follicle production/egg quality. I think I too would have made the same decision and especially with it being your final attempt. Perhaps taking that cycle out and allowing your body to rest will pay dividends. Are you still upping your protein? I've upped mine, which I've found reasonably easy to do, but as I'm a carbs girl at heart, I'm still craving fresh uncut bread...toasted.

Well, I'm poorly with some bug I simply can't shift...been ebbing away since my failed cycle and travels overseas. Feel flu like, awful. My AF arrived a week late so I only started sniffing over the weekend (nigh on impossible with blocked nose...perhaps I ought to just add the noxious stuff to my nighttime cocoa) and started injecting belly last night. I'm still pretty naff with needle preparation. My baseline scan was apparently normal...I say apparently because what I have learned since my first cycle is that when the sonographer and nurses smile and utter one thing, it often means a "negative" another. '10 follicles, 3 are small, but looking good, ohhh we're happy with that. All looking great.' Yeah right...! Anyhow that was my last cycle. I now know that 10 follicles is kinda crappy. More nervous about this cycle as it's on the back of a failed one.

Good luck Ranchgirl and a big wave to everyone.

Yes Darkchoc, still doing the high protein low carb diet... and totally sick of it! So you're starting another cycle now. Is that the FSH injection you started yesterday? When is your first scan? Funny that you think 10 follicles is 'kinda crappy'. Last cycle I set myself a minimum of 14 to proceed with IVF and was devastated when there were only 7. So for IVF next cycle, I have lowered my standard to 19! Can you give me/all of us a refresher of your last cycle - how many eggs, how many fertilised, how many made it to transfer? So much happened on here and so much going on in my own head that I can't remember details.

purple, I know you don't want any false hopes on here when it's probably already been difficult enough to process the negative result the first time. So I just hope that the blood test enables you to finalize this cycle in your mind and process whatever emotions you need to go through. You do not mention any details of AF or AF symptoms? Is the progesterone holding things at bay? I always get my period on time even when on Crinone. I totally understand adoption not being the ideal alternative for you. I have considered foster care and while I see my DS loving having his cousins over and how much he would love a play mate, I too wonder about bringing in a child into the home with psychological issues after being taken away from a broken family. Even so, I sent an inquiry email to start the process, but just ended up in tears because it's not what I really want. It's difficult. There is no perfect solution. Your clinic seems very thorough. I hope they can come up with some confident reason as to what went wrong and what they can change for next time. Do donors over there provide eggs to more than one couple? If so, are there statistics showing that some donors eggs do better than other donors, despite being around the same age? Logic would say that if you have four 20yo eggs transferred and they don't take, then it is an implantation issue. But you've got DS to show there's nothing wrong, and subsequent m/c to prove embryos can take. I am just at a loss. I was feeling like you've got great odds and the high protein low carb diet study gives me 80% odds. This is both our last cycle - this time it's success for both of us. But your failed cycle has made me feel like this is just impossible and I've found myself enjoying lots of naughty high carb foods today in defeat. It's just not fair. I am so sorry. Let us know how you get on with your blood test result.

Sorry to hear you're poorly, Darkchoc. Especially alongside the oh-so-fun sniffing. Plenty of rest and keep your fluids up, ok?

Yep - I'm also using donor sperm. I got mine from the European Sperm Bank, so if I'm successful it'll be with a so-called 'Viking Baby', a term I've seen thrown around online. My 2ww's been ok so far. I'm so over the Cyclogest pessaries, really not my idea of fun. Also I'm finding that I'm all kinds of tired. I'm sure that's anxiety related; as well as this unpleasant new habit of waking up before my alarm. I'm almost looking forward to getting back to work next week; at least I'll be back in my normal routine.

I hope your blood test is over quickly, Purple . Will you get the result straight away?

How are things going on your 2wws, Ranch and Bedouin?

So sorry to hear your news purple. Have you had any immune testing done? I am on another group with lots of other women who already have one or more children but have found that they now have immune issues preventing implantation on subsequent tries. I think the body can build up some sort of immune reaction after you have had one. It's just a thought, not saying it will help although it does seem to have for some. I am going to get all of my level 1s done at the end of June and then see what happens with my next cycle before considering level 2. It might be something to look at if you do decide to have a final go x

Thanks again, everyone - it's good to know you're all there, researching and trying to solve this with me, when you've all got fertility problems of your own.

Choc - sorry to hear you've been unwell. Hope you feel better soon.

Shellster -noooooo! Don't you dare fall off the wagon on my behalf! I'm rooting for you! Interesting what you said about the donor eggs...I've been doing some googling (well, what did you expect?!) about why donor IVF fails and there is a US doctor who says he gets greatest success from donors in their mid to late 20s. Can't find the article now! I don't know. No sign of AF, no, but I didn't in the last cycle either, with the same progesterone (Utrogestan) - in fact, I didn't get AF for a week after I stopped taking it. Complete contrast to the Cyglogest where I spotted for the last few days and got AF immediately I stopped taking it - on double the dose, too.

Lucie - no, I haven't had my immunes done. My UK clinic was a bit dismissive. I don't think I had them done in Cz either (I did have some tests there - the doctor's English isn't brilliant so there's a bit of a barrier). Do you know what tests are recommended? I'd quite like to eliminate this as a possibility if we are going to try this thing again. IF. Listen to me .

Still waiting for the bloods....should be today, but there's not much today left.

Purple there are basic level 1 immune tests where they look at quite a few different things. Sometimes you can get those done at your gp. They are going to do mine in Czech for £150 which is brilliant. Then there are the level 2 which test for natural killers cells amongst other things. There are only a few places that do them in the UK. A lot of people go to someone called Dr Gorgy in London but they aren't cheap. Around £1k+ I think. Some people go to serum in Greece as they are a lot cheaper there. I can get a list of them later if you need it? It might be worth you completing the online questionnaire on serums website. You list all your treatment and test results etc and they will give you their perspective and different suggestions. They were very helpful with me even though I'm not going there.

Hello all, Sorry been back at work and its all super stressy, so haven't checked in.
Purple I'm so sorry again with your result, but it sounds like you still have drive for another shot. You sound strong and sensible to me, especially with regards to the adoption thing. They do say you have to have given up any sort of infertility treatment for at least 6 months before they will even consider you. I suppose to get your head straight, so you are right that at this point in time you are nowhere near that ability to make that decision. Also there is no age limit, so there is time if you don't mind about the age gap. I have family with very little and up to 16yrs gap, and they adore each other. I think its more about the people they are at the end of the day.

Darkchoc I hope you are feeling better soon. I was dreading getting a cold with the spray, it sounds awful. I hope you get more than 10 follies too a good quality crop for you hon (I had 8 by the end and was thrilled thinking I would have 3!!!). Lots of water to help swell those beauties and rinse that cold out of your system.

Karou Ha ha love the Viking baby. I'm guessing the tiredness is the progesterone? Have you tried the bullets by the back door? It stops the leakage, and is ok as long as you don't have any existing colon issues. Ha fun topic .
I hope work gives you some distraction, and it's not too stressful a job.
I am also in the wide awake club. 2am ping! Headvoice "you're going to need a wee in around 15 minutes"... great thanks for the update headvoice. 6am "Hi just to let you know you need to get up in 30 minutes, but you may or may not need a wee between now and then... lets think about that one together shall we? Oh and btw if you get out of this warm cosy bed you will never get back to sleep"

Hi Lucieloos and Shellster - lovely to read your posts, an absolute mine of knowledge.

I hope the 2ww is going well for you Ranch looking forward to the update.

Now, a few questions I have been pondering. I am not one for POAS until after AF is due, and sadly have never seen a +ve, even when I have been a week late (I'm a 28 day 13 day LP clockwork girl). So going on that, being 5dp3dt, am I technically 8dpo? If I am 8dpo, then can I expect AF to start making itself known in another 5 days, or is the progesterone keeping it at bay? Or is this another of those 'it's different for everyone' things?

Apart from a few nasty headaches (unusual), tiredness, thirst and sluggish guts, which I think can all be put down to the progesterone, I have not a lot to report. Nighty night all.

Hi Bedouin - thank you for your kind words. Yes, I think we will be doing another cycle. I'm thinking quite hard about the tests Lucie mentioned first though. In answer to your question, I'm afraid I think it is a question of "it's different for everyone" - and in my case, different with different types of progesterone - on cyclogest I spotted in the few days before AF would-have-been-due-if-it-were-a-normal-cycle. On Utrogestan, I didn't have any AF symptoms.

Yes, I'd read that you need to have six months' clear water between fertility treatment and adoption. I've also heard that you're not allowed to be planning alterations to your house, or to move house. We're doing both of those at the moment, so maybe that's going to scupper everything too...

Off to get my scratch done this morning. It's quite difficult getting all prepped up to do IVF next cycle but not even know if I will have enough follicles to proceed. My ovaries had better have lots of follicles bubbling up to the surface as we speak.

I'm back to determined girl today purple - and now feeling quite guilty about yesterdays carb binge. It just seemed so unfair and impossible yesterday. One would think with your donor eggs you had the best odds and after all our effort and still a BFN, what is the point. But quitting won't get me the end result either. And if you are back on the wagon after such a downfall, already researching and being practical to improve things for your next IVF, then I am right beside you. Protein day today. Very interesting about particular donor age bracket producing the best results. I think you're on the right track with your research. I've never considered immunes testing as we have one DS and figure it mustn't be an issue. But interesting what lucie is saying. I guess there is no harm in having tests done to eliminate... perhaps I should do this too?

bedouin, as for the progesterone, when I am on Crinone, my period still seems to show up when it is due. I used Endometrin for one cycle and my period was delayed, only arriving 3 days after I stopped taking it.