Hut of Gl/Doom, lost count of the number coz its been so long - optimists need not apply!

[OracleInaCoracle]

Couldn't find the hut but in dire need of a hideout away from all those "its been 2 months" and "am I pregnant" threads.

For those of us who've been burnt by ttc, can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant or are sick of hearing the "just relax" refrain.

Leave your hope at the door and grab a gin, we are back in the speakeasy with meths on tap!

Ooo, lissie in disguise!

No, I haven't had that. I did have a laparoscopy many years ago though. And my womb looked fine on the HSG and ultrasound. What do you think it might show?

You HAVE to change consultant. Yours sounds like a nob [technical term]. It can't be good for your mental or physical health to keep going through this. Is there any possible way you can scrape together enough to go private to get the tests done? I think I read in another post of yours you said it's not possible. I think the tests are a couple of grand and the drugs are on top of that. But it's cheaper than repeated IVF failures (which is what we will end up with if I am correct).

Hello all
We are going to move this over now
Best
MNHQ

:) yay shiny new home.
Yes Lissiebobbin it's done this the last couple of months. Consistently used to be nothing then would wake up to it full on. Since my chemical pregnancy I've been getting spotting for a couple of days, starting light and then getting full whammy cd2. Pain bad from the start though. Just keep thinking 'get on with it!'.

I finally decided to get rid of DS cotbed. Have been hanging onto it 'just in case' but this weekend it's going on ebay. Can't keep this stuff lying around the house as a constant reminder of my failure to get pregnant.

Ow ow OW she's here :( cd1 of cycle 21 then.

Wait no cycle 22.

Faith, I'm so sorry. How shit.

Queen, ach, that's a tough decision isn't it? You put it off, and put it off, just in case

Well, ds goes back to school tomorrow, yesterday we made christmas decorations (I'm one of those) and a saltdough dinosaur, today we are going trainer shopping. The joy.

aww thank you for the hairstrokes.

It's a weekend of letting go in the household. DH has listed quite a few things from his past. We've been here two years now and I think we've reached a 'move on from the past' moment.

Sorry AF got you faith

I'm doing the back to school dance. Not because DS is back to school. Because he is Home Educated and we get the parks and museums back to ourselves for a few weeks

Here you all are!!

I thought I'd lost you all

Sorry to hear about month 22 starting Faith, I gave up counting the months years ago, got too depressing! Hope you can spoil yourself a bit today. Kudos on the gym going btw. I wish I had the time (well, I'm not convinced even if I had the time I'd have the inclination actually!!).

Lissie, sorry to hear you're still suffering. Really really wish there was another dr you could go to. Seems incredible you dr wont even test you. So backward - they could actually save some funding by testing you and being PRO active instead of REactive when the (sadly) inevitable happens. This is one of my biggest bugbears about the NHS - they refused to test me for recurrent mc yet were happy to put me on the ivf waiting list. Illogical, no? The simple (initial) blood tests for immunology etc are far cheaper than a failed cycle of ivf. Crazy. I am now waiting for the results from my chromosomal testing (I made quite a 'forceful' case to my consultant and he eventually gave in).

Good luck to those who have children going back to school this week. Bitter sweet time I imagine.

Must have been difficult to do that Queen. We have stuff lying around the house (cot, nappies, highchair etc) for when niece cones to stay. Am just about to buy a carseat as well - sister suggested getting one suitable for 1yr+ as would last longer but I'm going for a 0+ 'just in case'...

So my consultant secretary managed to send me my blood test form in the post, as requested BUT she sent the wrong fecking form!! I asked for the simple hormonal tests (it's been years since I last had them done) and she sent me one for more chromosomal tests (which I've already had and am awaiting the results from). Maybe I could post the form to you Lissie?!

I'm still composing an email to PALs as a sort of 'complaint' about the dept at my hospital. It's farcical how many mistake they've made and how uncommunicative they are. I just wish I could get someone to give me n actual answer. It's been 10months since my last appt FFS and try still can't tell me any kind if rough date for IVF to start. I'd just like to know of it will be this year or not!

Back off my soapbox again, sorry....

howdy pick! This is where we now hide reside away from all the pesky "I've been trying for two weeks, when shall I test?" type. Yes there genuinely was one this week. Pick push forward with the complaint, it is the only way to reduce the risk of it happening to someone else -don't tell the NHS I said that-- . It's the not having any time line that drives you crazy isn't it?
Well I feel like crap. Long story of my job (somewhere above) but basically been told today even though my colleague and I have been doing the job for a year like the prospect of going up against each other isn't bad enough after waiting 7 weeks for the job advert to go out we were informed today it must go out to at risk candidates in the trust first, then at risk in the East Midlands. If no-one applies (who meets essential criteria) we then have the privelidge of applying for the job. However if someone else applies who meets essential criteria and shows any effort they will get the job. I will have to give them a handover. Fabulous. That plus af cramps has been great fun. Thank goodness for stick on heat patches or I'd have had to crawl home at lunch time.

Sorry about AF Havealittlefaith

Well, my GP called me back tonight after my appointment with him on Saturday. He and his "colleague" agreed that we should be referred for further tests (which is good), although he didnt elaborate on what tests and whether we'd need our basic tests re-doing. DH & I have to make an apt to see this other doc again together (baring in mind we saw him for the first time in Feb10 and again in Aug 10 where he fobbed us off by reeling off those fabulous stats) . I just hope that when we do get to see him it isnt a wasted journey.

so wtf is going on with me? day 15 and i'm bleeding. dark old blood too.

what do i do girls? consultant not interested in me til hsg is done (wheneverthe hell that will happen).....

is it worth bothering my gp, or shall i see what the next couple of days hold?

Queen, have you done a hpt? Any mid-cycle bleeding at all should be checked out by a gp

Queen, have you done a hpt? Any mid-cycle bleeding at all should be checked out by a gp

i quite often get a bit of ov bleeding. the older I get the more weird things get anyway. Yes to gp, they'll probably say don't worry about it but nice to be reassured.

ok this may be tmi but i only noticed it because DH and I were having some fun last night. He panicked that he'd done something wrong and i had to point out it was old blood and no he hadn't damaged me. It was very 'jelly like' rather than my usual blood texture too.
Feeling a little crampy this morning, but no more bleeding.

I'm not inclined to go to my GP who will just say to wait for Consultant appt and let him know. If i bleed more today then i'll get an appt for tomorrow.

Should I really do an HPT? AF was a light one this time round, but that's not so unusual for me. I did a First response before AF and it was neg.
God this is so frustrating. We're not actively TTC this month, trying to ease the pressure a bit. Last night I had a dream about battling with the Cons receptionist to get answers, and in my dream I just gave up and walked away. This is obviously having a bigger impact on me than I thought.

I really would do a hpt and see the gp. Mid-cycle bleeding above a bit of spotting around ov should be checked out!

You know how my con discharged me because he is a twat who won't run basic immunology bloods for rmc, and there is "nothing that can be done" well, we have recently moved and my new gp said she would look at my notes re baby-making (or lack of) and see if she could do something.

Got a letter yesterday saying that she had referred me to gynae/fertility specialist. So, in a way I'm a bit sad that we are back where we started 5y ago (plus the year of trying beforehand) but we have a fighting chance of being referred outside the pct. Plus, I get my bloods and dh's sa updated. Should I ask to be treated as a rmcer in the hope that they ship me off to mr shehata, or treat as if I hadn't been obsessively poas and therefore didn't know about any of the teflon eggs?

i just told DH that i'm sick of my body not doing what it should, and that I don't know if i can go through with all the hopsital stuff. He replied that he hates seeing me stressed by this but thinks I should stick with it to find out why my body isn't behaving.
This is so difficult. He loves my DS but i know it's not the same as having your own child, and if i can give him that I know all this will have been worth it.

bobbin I'd be upfront about the mc's. It might fast track you along?

I'm being cynical about my Cons. We have a private Fertility clinic on the same site as our NHS hopsital and he also the Cons for that. It feels like they are making it deliberately hard to access help on the NHS to push people into going private.
They won't even tell me the results of my blood tests - i just have to wait and wait and wait until i can get in for the HSG before the damn Cons will call me back and I'm pissed off about it. They are my MY results after all so why can't I have a copy?

What is it about consultants? They are all twats. Can't believe that they won't give you your results though

when i filled in the questionnaire they sent out it actually included a question 'do you want to be sent results of nay tests by pots/email' and i responded yes please.
They also asked a question they are not legally allowed to and DH got very cross about it. He wanted to complain and i said not to rock the boat.
We do have a friend who worked in the NHS and queried it with him. He said this form will have most likely been the Cons harvesting info for his own private studies and not necessarily to do with NHS. I am about this.
Further down the line I think I may bring this up with PALS. it is really not on to harvest info this way. and not be clear about it.

I only know that my swabs and rubella all came back clear because the practice nurse at my GP told me when i went for my smear. But my hormone results weren't on the system and i think that is deliberate

Hey y'all!
I agree Lissie. I think you need to.be honest about your history. I wouldn't refer to your problem as infertility...you can get pregnant, they need to work out why they aren't sticking. I'm glad you're not just stuck with the idiot consulant and hopefully will get someone who will be objective and look at what's going on. I really hope you get the answers you need.
queen I agree it would be wise to poas!
Maybe the answer to the rude question should be: 'if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you'. Tell pals, definitely. He's made you uncomfortable, whatever the reason. If he is using it for research, he's in breach of ethics. Maybe he thinks he can get away with it because he's never been reported before....?

I poas and it was neg. no more bleeding and cramps gone. could it possibly have been OV bleeding? i would expect that to be fresh blood or pink though

faith the question was 'do you have any criminal convictions?'
It just so happens that declaration of convictions is one part of the field of expertise my DH works in. The Cons absolutely has no right to ask it, and anyway what bearing does it have on our medical health?
I should point out that i am NHS - this form actually stated (in small writing) that it was adapted from a questionnaire from which the Consultant also works at.

Woah that is well dodgy!! Completely unrelated to your health I agree. Definitely tell PALS!