Hut of Gl/Doom, lost count of the number coz its been so long - optimists need not apply!

[OracleInaCoracle]

Couldn't find the hut but in dire need of a hideout away from all those "its been 2 months" and "am I pregnant" threads.

For those of us who've been burnt by ttc, can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant or are sick of hearing the "just relax" refrain.

Leave your hope at the door and grab a gin, we are back in the speakeasy with meths on tap!

That is doubly crap queen. You.have full permission to cry, rant and drink .
jemima nice to meet you btw sorry I've been a bit amiss with the introductions.
I'm feeling...a bit rotten..I think I have a virus. Lacking in voice, tired and going hot and cold. Got through work by opting for an office day. Told DH lazy night doing nowt. He's had his second sa. He's being positive like saying it might higher than before and sounded well pissed off when I explained I thought it unlikely because it's the high prolactin causing his poor swimmers trouble! Oh well. He's got his appt with an endocrinology specialist about that, booked today for November 21st. Ah NHS waiting lists...started investigations in January, hey Ho!

Hello good to meet you too faith. Virus urgh, you poor thing. Fingers x'd for a better sperm test result or at least finding something that they can then do something about. I know how long we had to wait for the nhs test, we paid for a private one second time round, results were in 10 minutes not 10 weeks, ridiculous! It is a very annoying, depressing and bleak waiting game. Going to give it till November till we have further investigations. Not on any list at the mo so fuck knows how long it will take to get the ball rolling! Enjoy your lazy night.

Cheers. Dosed up on paracetamol and just trying to make it through the working week (my sickness record is dire).
Yeah basically we went to GP in January after a year with no joy. I had basic bloods and DH was referred for first sa. GP implied it would be any day, first appt was Mid march! Then DH's work scheduled a meeting he couldn't get out of for the appt. rescheduled for June.That came back low count/low vitality. I then had fertility appt, hsg and pelvic ultrasound. they did more blood for his based on his results which showed the high prolactin. so now we wait til November to see a specialist before we can even think about changing that.....I've just realised we're probably not going have a baby for at least another year are we?!

DH was so sweet last night, he said we need to try and concentrate on the things we do have and not the one thing we don't. He said he has me and he never thought he could love someone or be loved so much and that's all he needs. And he's right. I know that.
This morning i spent a sleepy, weepy hour in bed lying in his arms and have realised that I need to get off this train.
I'm undecided yet about the HSG (the sec I did speak to yesterday phoned me back to say she'd earholed a different Dr in the dept, the paperwork has now been completed but i still need to wait for confirmation from radiology)
I think for my peace of mind I am going to go for that in Sept. If it reveals something I can try to fix then we'll see what happens. If not then I'm off this journey. It's becoming too damaging to my mental health.

Recognise a few names here :) Been awol for a while as I just got so sick fed up of talking about nothing happening.....not a fucking thing for 16 months :(

I'm soooooooo wound up today because I know my body is doing this just to fucking wind me up to breaking point.

For the last 8 months or so my cycle has been shorter than normal, dropping from a religious 28 days to anywhere between 24-27 days more often than not much shorter than I expect. I'm on day 27 today and I know I'll wake up tomorrow and the red tinge will be there, I've tried all day to not think about it but we all know how that works doesn't it

I just want to fucking scream arrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

and breathe

How's everyone else doing

Just caught with everyone's news - so sorry Lissie :(

Hey shiny! Honestly I was wondering another you today!! Was tempted to ask if anyone knew where you were.[spooky emotion]
Welcome to the hut.

*waves to Bex

Well....as predicted...AF arrived this morning. I'm a bit teary to be honest, lots of things going on in my head and I'm wondering how long I can keep myself sane with this monthly circus.

Ah shiny, have a and [bar of chocolate]. Cd 1 is always the worst.
Relatively good news here. DH's second sa shows some improvements. Count is still low (no surprises with his high prolactin) but the quality has improved, 5% rapid :) and more sluggish. Last time only had 15% sluggish and 85% non-motile. I assume it's down to an improved diet, restricted baths and vitamin supplements with zinc etc. We both feel a bit more positive about things today.

That's good news :)

Well my body is still trying to torment me, after my red streak this morning a shoved in a tampon.....and when it came out 2 hours later there was next to nothing on it, just a tiny bit of old blood....sorry for the TMI 10 hours later and I've had nothing else....I am steely with determination that I am not doing a test, because I know half an hour after I get a BFN AF will arrive proper

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend....is it a Bank Holiday in England this weekend?

shiny that's, rather...interesting! Was af due today?
Tis indeed a bank holiday. I'm enjoying a glass of already! :) where are you?

yep AF was due today - this is CD28, for the last 8/9 months I've always come on around CD25-27, I always used to be 28 days, regular to almost the hour....I will not test, I will not test, I will not test

I'm in Scotland so no bank holiday here boooooo, never mind, tis the weekend and I only have one order so can mess around in my studio at my leisure

fucksticks....it's back :( It went away just long enough to make me wonder

Oh it's just taunting you isn't it?! Stupid af! Comiserations. Have a glass of

Faith good news with sperm improvements, that must be reassuring. Hope everyone is having a good bank holiday weekend! We have our friends over with their adorable 20month old, blinking exhausting!

DH keeps saying 5% baybee and high fiving me!
I'm enjoying the weekend with the in laws (only see them a few times a year) and watching x factor with a cider. Nice!
Enjoy the weekend Jemima. Dnephew is 23 months old. I know what you mean...gorgeous/entertaining but totally exhausting!

Aww that did make me smile Faith - I reckon my OH would be saying the same thing in these circumstances and can just imagine it . Glad the sperm analysis shows improvement.

Sorry that AF is playing mean tricks on you Shiny - got to hate it when she's even more of an evil cow than normal.

Hope you had a nice time with your friends and the little one Jemima

I've finally made the step towards doing something about how awful I've been feeling and have joined the mood gym (CBT you can do for yourself at home following an online programme). I feel awful every day, I feel even worse every time I have a day off. I know it's time to do something, so hopefully this will help.

Ah dizzy at least it's something practical and proactive you can do. I had cbt with a counsellor and it helped massively. My pms was crazy out of control near Christmas and when I had it I wad having really bad panic attacks. Interestingly I got panicky this morning but took some kalms and talked through why with DH and got it under control.(I think it's because I dunno what's happening at work, the sa aha then packing to go away (I always forget something). So I guess it's helped because I recognise my panic and stop it escalating.

Thanks Faith. I do feel better knowing I'm now doing something.

So how's everyone spending the bank holiday?

Hello just escaping from guests and toddler and having a lie down before we head out for dinner, knackered! Hope you are all having a good bank holiday. faith I love the high fiving from your dh, bet it's a big mood boast for you both. Enjoy the cider with out laws. dizzythe mind gym sounds a good plan. I have been really struggling recently and have just booked a 6 week course of counselling starting a week tomorrow. Kind of feel I need to do something fir the sake of my marriage and sanity. Just have days when I feel so teary and lacking in any Lind of motivation to do anything at all. Doesn't help that due date for my firsts is rapidly. Any how hello to everyone and have a good bank hol.

Oh my god the spelling! Havnt even had any vino yet. Blame the I phone. For not fir and meant to say first mc. X

Ok this is an unrelated whine to ttc, but I need to complain. Just found out from my landlords that they'll possibly be moving back in (and therefore kicking us out) in the spring! Me and OH had been thinking of this place as our home for the next 5 years, we were going to have our kids here and be saving up for a mortgage. Very gutted at the moment, moving home is so expensive anyway and we're still trying to get ourselves out of debt as it is. Apparently they'll be letting us know in October what their plans are, which coincidentally is 2 months before our contract will end and also the 2 months notice they would need to give us for termination of said contract. Very worried at the moment they will be kicking us out right after Christmas

Oh dizzy that's pants! :( you've not been there long have you? I hope you get clarity on the situation soon.
I still feel rough...been tired, sick on and off...I was sick first day of af this month, thought that was it but been sick every few days. keep going hot and cold. Just trying to get rest and take paracetamol. Suspect it's a virus.
D'you know, this has been my longest tww ever? Maybe because it's my first month not charting for ages. Not an agonising tww (skeptical about likelihood of bfp) but just really loooong.

Thanks Faith, we've been here for 2 months .
Sorry that the 2ww is taking so long for you, do you mean your cycle has actually gotten longer or it just feels a lot longer? When is AF due?

Because I didn't chart I'm not sure when I ovulated. I remember thinking 'I must be cd20 by now' and I was only cd13! Af is due 6th September (our wedding anniversary). If I am upduffed it'll be a 30th birthday conception, 3rd wedding anniversary bfp! :)