Hut of Gl/Doom, lost count of the number coz its been so long - optimists need not apply!

[OracleInaCoracle]

Couldn't find the hut but in dire need of a hideout away from all those "its been 2 months" and "am I pregnant" threads.

For those of us who've been burnt by ttc, can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant or are sick of hearing the "just relax" refrain.

Leave your hope at the door and grab a gin, we are back in the speakeasy with meths on tap!

Yea nice to hear they are starting to take the impact on you seriously

How is everyone? I've not done a very good job of lurking have I?! Too.committed I think!
Well we've moved into a rented house now, moved in yesterday. Soooo nice to have our own space!
Welcome to newbie sorry can't scroll back to find your name cos I'm on my phone I hope you find the hut a place of solace.

I feel absolutely flattened today. DH got up with DS this morning to let me have a lie in. It sort of worked in that I woke naturally, but only about 15 mins after they'd got up anyway. I lay in bed and cried and quite honestly the last time i felt like this and had the sort of thought patterns I'm having was when I was very depressed.
Is this normal? I know the times before when I've had this kind of bleed (and so i'm sure i've m/c before) I've been pretty difficult to live with, crying at everything and wanting the whole world to go away. I thought i was just being a moody, hormonal cow - and now i'm having this but with the emotional swing of knowing I was pregnant.
I have visitors here, my lovely friend who is now 5 months pregnant after being on much the same journey I'm on. I normally sit close to her and we read together etc. This weekend I've been keeping busy and out of her way. I feel like a complete shit, but honestly it's not about her, I just don't want to be near anyone right now.
I've done so well to keep my usual winter blues at bay and now this m/c seems to have tipped me over.

I think a trip to the GP is in order this week....

and I just posted a totally self absorbed 'me me me' post......

Good news about the rental place phoenix, having your 'own' space with all your own possessions about you really is very important.

Hope everyone else is well.

What's happening with you and clinic pink?

queen after everything that's happened I think feeling like this is quite understandable. If you think of it as akin to a bereavement, you're be feeling a variety of emotions including anger, denial, bargaining...it's really raw at the moment too. Give yourself some time. Also I don't mind if you have to do a few 'mememememe' posts. Go and see your GP for advice. I definitely think counselling would help but maybe not straight away...and other treatment options need to be carefully considered with discussion with your doctor. Be kind to yourself.

i'd best save some pennies for counselling then. I asked about it a few weeks ago and was informed there is no NHS funded counselling available. At the moment he's being told only to refer to the CPN, if he deems it necessary. He said I could push for that but if we decided to go for self funded IVF in the future having CPN stuff in my notes would go against me. he did say all of this in the nicest possible way - but still. If i need proper counselling to deal with (all) the shit i have going on then I'm going to have to pay for it myself.

I would seriously question that - no counselling at all?! I agree avoid the CPN, you're not really appropriate anyway. Well one thing you can do when you're ready is try the mood gym I've found it helpful the last couple of weeks in just keeping my head above water psychologically. This is not to stay you're not right to be hurting, but if your negative thoughts are spiraling, it might help? Check it out anyway, let me know what you think.

Definately agree if u want to be me me me then feel free I'm sure we all understand

Good news about your own place now I know it's not the same but it is your own space

I'm a bit the same on the friends front I have this week unfriended 2 pregnant friends on Facebook not that I'm not pleased for then but messages like 'do excited to have two healthy boys soon' really don't make me feel good!

On my front I'm fine 6 tablets in (provera) to an induced bleed then more scans and injections met with the consultant who said I should have another go at the injections he said age was on my side and I requested obitrelle instead of pregnyl (due to the massive red lump and not so good sickness I had on pregnyl) so I'm ready for another cycle x

having a break from MN posting (will still come and read all your news). Might come back but with a different username. If anything spectacular happens (cynical laugh) I'll come back with this name and let you know.

queen the hut is here specifically for wallowing and mememe posts so don't worry about that. i so hope and pray you get the help, in whatever form, that you need to get through this, and you will get through this. take the time you need away from mn. take care, lovie

hi to everyone else. hope this is a good cycle pink

doh! posted to soon!
meant to also say
phoenix lovely news about your new home. your own space is always nice. enjoy

queen so sorry things haven't worked out. Don't worry about the ranting posts - that's why this place is so good, we all understand and empathise. Hope you start to move into a happier place.

pink good luck with the next cycle, fingers crossed this is the one that works.

phoenix glad to hear you are in your own place again, hopefully you are settled by now.

brocolli how are you? any new updates?

to any other newbies and lurkers

As for me - I have not been around the hut recently. Back (and busy) at work. Fat cow downstairs from me is pregnant (she's been horrid for a long time) Must admit I have been leaving the room when she starts going on about it. Thankfully we are not friends so I don't have to feign an interest.

I've started the C25K to get a bit fitter, me and DH are planning a holiday to Iceland this summer, somewhere he has always wanted to go, and I am starting to collect boxes to pack declutter the house. Target to get it on the market is February half term.. eek.

iceland sounds lovely delilah we would love to go there
i am ok thank you. sickness is showing no signs of abating and i am struggling (but glad) feeling so poorly all the time. i feel bad for dd and dh that i am being very useless at the minute. had a scan this morning and all is well, so we are very thankful for that. i am 13 weeks today according to the scan (i am more convinced that it is 12+5, but actually at this stage that doesn't make a huge difference, so i am not complaining) so i am officially into the second trimester tomorrow. i start to see the hypertension team next week.

Awww I bet u are so happy broc... Good luck it's nearly a how straight

Fingers crossed this is my cycle only 2 more days of tablet then the dreaded AF should be with me within 2-4 days then it's god knows how long injecting and finally some well needed swi! Don't get me wrong we have been doing it over Christmas but when u want a baby so much it seems pointless knowing it isn't going to happen well not till the clinic drugs me up anyway (won't be telling dh that tho)

it's broccoli
i've name-changed :)

I've had a little lurk on here today as after 13 months of ttc and a lap to show a whopper fibroid in my womb, I'm in no mans land til they cut it out. And wondering what the future holds after a pregnancy announcement curveball yesterday. I just wanted to say queen so sorry about what's happened. I only read this page so far but wanted to say that my hospital has the same policy about laps and my dh wasn't allowed up with me and I was very upset in the run up. Actually though, it all happened so fast, within 40 minutes of being there I was taken down to surgery and even though I was second in theatre, the first lady who went in was only there for ten mins before I was in the anaesthesia bit. The 40 mins was taken up with a visit by consultant, anaethesist and two nurses, very busy and I was hardly alone. I think it is a SHIT policy but it wasn't as bad as I thought. I did wish I had taken my phone though as other people were chatting away and in would have liked to at least be able to text dh. The under the duvet thing is often where I am, but it usually does pass as the hormones settle. Wishing you love, I'm back off to my half way house of not being allowed to try and not knowing what is happening next. Good luck x

Hello where welcome to the hut. Sorry you have to be here. Did they say How likely pregnancy is after chopping out of the fibroid? I think queen is lurking but not posting so I'm sure she'll be grateful for your kind words :)
missing liking the new name! Delighted to hear your scan went well. Are you starting to relax a bit?
We are settling into the new house now. It's really weird, just so different from home. All the walls are white which makes it feel quite clinical. Strange to be in a semi-detached house after living in a detached bungalow for 2 1/2 years! At least it's our own space though.
Bring on your next cycle then pinklady, hope it's a win for you.
I'm also doing c25k with a view to doing a 10k in March already signed up so you're in glad company delilah. I'm also doing Paul McKenna I can make you thin Only been doing it since Sunday but it's great. I feel more relaxed since someone Paul! told me I don't have any banned foods. I'm chewing my food so I'm definitely eating less but I'm never starving hungry. So simple, so effective. I've also been to the gym the last 3 nights and I'm planning to go again tomorrow and Friday! something strange has come over me! Long may it last!

hello all, its lissie. sorry Ive not been around, been trying to limit my mn/feeling sorry for myself time. off to catch up properly, but queen, Im so, so sorry.

Brocc, thats great news.

Thanks Phoenix I don't know really. I saw photos of my invader when I was off my face on morphine. In my head it's the size of a house. Dh says it's like a tangerine. Professor Internet ranges from forever barren to much better chance of conception depending on where it's growing, but I do know the location is problematic, partly blocking my cervix and growing out of my back uterus wall. Annoyingly my consultant is on leave so I've a bigger wait than normal. I've lovely friends on conception. But I feel like I've got a roadblock and will be parked up for ages. The wait after the op to heal might be 3-4 months before we can try. The human reproductive system needs a redesign!

Hello all.
Just started on here and made my own post but this sounds exactly where I should be.
I dont want to feel sorry for myself and hopefully being around other people having the same crap will help me remain positive in an odd way lol so here I am still laughing (for now)

Then Carrie this is the place for you! It's a sanctuary from conception. When you've been ttc for a long time, there's only so many could I be pregnant? threads you can read before you categorically state if you have had unprotected sex, then yes, you could be pregnant
where it's the not knowing isn't it? We've had health issue hanging over us for months making it highly unlikely we'd conceive until they were resolved. We found out in August and had to wait til December to see a specialist and then another fortnight before a confirmed diagnosis! The hut is definitely somewhere where you can hang out, chat about ttc while you're waiting to see what happens.
nice to see you!

Wow lot of name changes and new faces welcome all wine or tea we have both here in the hut!

I'm ok, last tablet tomorrow then AF should appear...

Liking the idea of Paul McKenna Phoenix hope it works out for u might even give it a go myself I've got swim membership now at the local pool, can't be doing with gym after an 11hr day so a few lengths in the pool should sort me out weight wise... But with pcos I'd have to be practically starving myself for the weight to
Come off but we can all dream I suppose hehe

That's the thing with Paul, I'm not starving even though I'm eating less! It makes you more conscious of what you're eating, gets you to chew and recognise when you're full and stop when you are. It's the easiest non diet I've ever done. I also feel more motivated to exercise. It's definitely worth checking out.

Do you just follow it then iris there like a book or DVD to tell you what to do??

It's a book with a cd. We've been listening to the cd at bedtime as we fall asleep. There are dvds. You get the first one free and have to buy the rest. The main thing is to listen to the cd regularly to stay focussed.