Hut of Gl/Doom, lost count of the number coz its been so long - optimists need not apply!

[OracleInaCoracle]

Couldn't find the hut but in dire need of a hideout away from all those "its been 2 months" and "am I pregnant" threads.

For those of us who've been burnt by ttc, can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant or are sick of hearing the "just relax" refrain.

Leave your hope at the door and grab a gin, we are back in the speakeasy with meths on tap!

Hi pick. Sorry to hear you've had such a tough time :( it sucks. Hope the wedding is ok, get tipsy on free champers!

Hi and welcome notinmy and jesemiah.

Sorry about crappy timing, pregnancy announcements, symptom spotting too early (yes you lissie) and rubbish DH's.

Had my op this morning and home again. Went fine all a bit sore. Septum reduced from 2.1cm to 1.5cm. You can't help but wonder if it was worth it? Follow hysteroscopy to check for scarring etc in Oct and a course of eostrogen to help minimise chances of that.

Explaining to DP they'd asked for my permission to video the business end of the op and he said plaintively 'you never let me take pics of your fanjo'.

Oops sorry hi pick I was stuck on previous page. Is that just standard NHS waiting time for IVF? That's shit, many hugs.

Hope the wedding is bearable and even fun and they serve lovely shellfish, Brie etc and lots of alcohol!

Claire glad it's over and done with. Hope you can kick back now and let DP take care of you for a while!
DH is out at a colleague's wedding which I was invited to til he announced all his colleagues weren't bringing their OH's and would I be a little bored if I came while he talked about football?! SO I'm going to indulge in crap food, a bath, Bulmer's 17 (OH MY SO YUMMY!) and currently cycle 10 of "America's Next Top Model" :) oh yeah.
COnsidering I now have a chilled week off without much planned (but my 30th birthday!) I feel crappy. I think it's the reality of not ttcing and worrying about seeing GP with DH next week. Hopefully I'll be more positive by the time I go back to work?!

Hi pick, welcome back to the hut. But sorry that you still need it. Hope you are haviing fun at the wedding.

Havealittle, sounds like a good evening! I lurve antm!

Claire, glad it went ok. Any reduction is good, right?

Had a cry earlier about babies. Ds asked why some people don't have them, I explained about choice and IF, but it was tough.

Thanks Iissielou and havealittle faith, you are certainly not unwelcoming, I know what you mean, I had been on a couple of buses, but it seems just about everyone on them has been trying for a couple of months, or just started. Lissielou, how old is your DS? I have one as well, he'll be 4 in October.

Queenrollo, sorry you are finding things so hard at the moment, sounds like your DH needs a good slap! Does he know how you are feeling?

Jesemiah, can't believe your consultant died, not a problem you would expect to come up against, hope it doesn't set you back too far!

Pick hope the wedding was bearable, and you get a call re the IVF soon.

Claire, that doesn't sound like much fun but at least it is done now and hopefully will all be worth it in the end.

Nice to meet you all. Its nice to have somewhere to not be cheerful, if I can rant on here I may be able to stop giving DH such a hard time!

Glad you feel confy here, some people don't get that the hut is for when ttc has kicked you in the arse so many times. Ds is 6.5, we started ttc when he was a few months old and I got pg when he was 6mo. Mc'd, had 12 mcs since and an ep. People on the regular threads don't know how to deal with that. They want nice stories. I don't blame them, that's what I wanted too.

Wow, you really have been through it haven't you! I can't even pretend to know how that feels, you must be one determined lady. I really do hope that you get your second DC eventually, you certainly deserve it!

hello ladies,

may I barge in and start on the gin if I bring a large box of thorntons kindly provided by my lovely husband?

just recovering from a lap and dye on thursday where I received the devastating and unexpected news that both tubes are blocked so the only option for a second dc is self funded ivf which we can't really afford and I am not sure I feel up to facing further disappointment anyway.

bit of history if you're bored,

feb 2007 : dd born, nvd but retained placenta removed in theatre
July 2009 : unlocated (they couldn't find where it was) ectopic treated with methotrexate injection x 2
Jan 2010 : HSG, right tube all clear, left had delayed fill and spill but did come through eventually
June 2011 : starting temping/charting
Jan 2011 : gp, all blood/dh tests normal
May 2011 : saw consultant who recommended lap and dye to check good tube was free and not restrained by endo and the plan was then to follow up with clomid (even though I am ovulating) which is now not an option

I'm assuming that I have some kind of infection (although all swabs clear) or PID (no STI's ever and dh is only partner) as tubes were ok in Jan 2010 but are not now. surgeon didn't seem to think there was any option to unblock tubes and couldn't give any explanation for the blockage and tbh I was too upset to listen by then anyway. hearing this news alone 1 hour after surgery on a busy ward surrounded by women who've had good news was not much fun.

all my baby group friends have had their 2nd dc and one is now on her 3rd pg and I just feel so left out. had saved all dd's stuff including nappies and her cot is still up in the 3rd bedroom. feel even more grateful now for dd but it still doesn't take away the pain.

Notin, thank you. Oddly, its got easier to deal with.

Marmite, I am so, so sorry. How devastating. Is there nothing at all that they could do? My friend had blocked tubes and had lovely twin boys via ivf as a result, but I understand your reluctance. How old are you?

Notin, thank you. Oddly, its got easier to deal with.

Marmite, I am so, so sorry. How devastating. Is there nothing at all that they could do? My friend had blocked tubes and had lovely twin boys via ivf as a result, but I understand your reluctance. How old are you?

Thanks Lissie, I'm 35 so not over the hill yet but certainly climbing up it, dh is 39.
Just been reading the whole thread and feeling a bit guilty about being here having had only the one ectopic. Completely inadequate but I'm so sorry for all your mc's, why is life so unfair sometimes

Marmite, don't be daft. You definately qualify! So egg share would be out then? How utterly frustrating. I'm pretty sure that my mcs are down to a uterine infection post cs, they are surprisingly hard to diagnose and shake

Hey Marmite, welcome. That is a shock, no wonder you're reeling. When do you go back to discuss the questions you, quite understandably, didn't ask after your lap and dye?

I had an infection after my last mc and wouldn't have known if I hadn't gone to GP to ask about rmc referral and he checked me out and on feeling my tummy noticed I was red hot. I had no symptoms. Yet the problems it can cause are so severe.

I remember a thread where some ladies on the conception board investigated IVF overseas as it was cheaper, might be worth a search? Try the username LondonLottie I'm sure she was involved.

Oh Marmite. You definitely qualify. It's not a competition of whose worst off :) it's a support group for everyone whose been dealt a crappy hand when it comes to ttc. Otherwise I wouldn't qualify! Only 19 months ttc and one chemical pregnancy to my name.
Atm I don't know if I'm relieved or gutted about easing off ttc. Maybe both.

Just looked at my post and again and to clarify I'm not suggesting you stalk lottie but do a search with username londonlottie, in conception with IVF in the post, it should bring up the relevant threads.

Morning, how is everyone today? I have food poisoning. Had a curry last night, and am pretty ill today. Period is due (based on recent trends) on tuesday or wednesday. So just waiting, waiting, waiting. What's the betting it starts tomorrow? Or even worse, is late!

Sorry you're ill Lissie. I am too. Travelling in car to seaside to see my friend baptized. Got five mins down the road, I had to make DH pull over see I could throw up. No way I could go an hour to the seaside. :( think it might be motion related but I never normally get car sick.

Sorry to hear you are both ill, that's pants! I am torturing myself still doing OPK's despite the fact DH won't be back until Wednesday. Got a positive today. Think I have finally lost it, had some crazy ideas, including running out and trying to persuade some poor passer by to come and impregnate me, or driving up to London to get DH to oblige in the 8 hours he has off between shifts. Its a good job I have to go to work this afternoon really. I am sure I used to be a fairly sane and reasonable person!

Lol at 'passerby'! I've just slept for two hours. Now watching The Sound of music on sky movies in bed while DH watches his beloved man u play in the living room. I feel a bit better. Think I'm overwrought tbh. I'm waiting for so much: to be able to go to GP to discuss DH's high prolactin levels and what we do now, waiting to try for a baby now, waiting for a job to be advertised so I can apply (my secondment finishes in a month). Bleurgh.

evening ladies,

feeling a bit more positive today, probably cos its been a sunny day, I got dressed properly for the first time and now I'm enjoying a nice glass of vino and a box of choc fingers while starting to research IVF, have also decided this is the best way to spend my "recovery" week off work (was considering going in on Tuesday)!

still not sure I want to go for IVF but I think dh is quite keen, we need to talk properly really. I haven't felt able to deal with his feelings yet, which is a bit selfish. am annoyed that I'm just over the max age for egg sharing as that would have been fine by me.

we go back to see the surgeon in 6 weeks so want to have made a decision by then.

sorry to hear you've been poorly lissie and have a little faithbaby, hope you are feeling better this evening, will save you some choc fingers and wine

I've never been on a "bus" officially, lurked a bit at first but got fed up with all the positive stories. in fact I've only lurked on MN since my AN thread ended. this is my first post in a few years!

You do sound more chipper marmite, definitely progress to put on clothes. Interestingly when we first decided hmm predicative text changed that to 'deluded', how ironic to ttc we were not keen to have ivf. Now we say we'd definitely go for it if we reach that point. Not an easy decision I know. Will you be able to use your eggs then?
I feel.much better after sleep and mice meal with family. Suspect I am overwrought (great word)!
BTW if it's easier feel free to shorten my username to 'faith' :)

Sorry you're both feeling illl Lissie and Faith, not nice at all. Hope you're both feeling a bit better tomorrow.

I'm the same re ivf - always said it wasn't really something I'd want to do but am now desperate for a baby and have had to rethink my whole outlook on it. It's deffo worth giving it a bit of research - I've been looking up all sorts if things ivf related. Still not sure how well I'll cope with it tho. Sounds awful but genuinely don't know how I can fit in around work. Why are things so difficult?!

I eventually went for the blood tests for recurrent miscarriage this week, they took 8 vials of blood! Only 1 vial of my husbands though. Was given the blood test papers last December but it's taken me this lon to actually get them done as I'm not sure I want to know the result. Not sure what I'll do if they say dh and I aren't compatible! Also didn't want it to affect our chances if NHS ivf (Claire - all our treatment has been NHS, hence the waiting times, the cutbacks have been a bit of bugger at our pct so all funding was cut for about 4 months so the waiting list has shot up).

Wedding was actually ok, surrounded by babies and pregnant ladies as predicted but we coped. Feels weird as was mostly dh's friends and I think they all know about our ishoos but it's like there's a great big elephant in the room, one of dh's friends text him an apology as he made a quip about all the group procreating - feel bad that people tread on eggshells around us.

Not sure what to do about the ivf. SIL has offered to pay for private treatment but we've always said no as the pressure would be to great to succeed (someone else's money we'd be wasting if it didn't work) but now I'm rethinking this as I Just Want A Baby!

Claire - glad the op went ok, are you still sore? As Lissie said, any reduction has to be good thug, no?

Marmots, so sorry to hear of your shocking news. Must have been a real blow to the system. As I say, reading up on it all sounds like a smart move. I found a link to a simplistic 'what happens during I've which I found useful as it eplained things in.real terms. Will try and find the link for you.

Beat go to bed (epic post, sorry). Back to work tomorrow after a week off and REALLY not looking forward to it....

I think I may need to hide here for a bit. My other thread has become far to cheery and I know that makes me a grump but I can't handle the 'one monthers' any more - you know, the 'we've just started and it's sooo stressful and I can't cope, but oh, look now I'm pregnant'. I did hide out on the old thread briefly but thought I can handle the other boards again but am now back with my tail between my legs and hope you'll have me back.

We are waiting for dh's repeat SA at the moment but last one showed borderline count, poor morphology and mobility so not holding my breath. I have appt at fertility clinic this week so really hoping we can get some answers about what are chances are. I don't know if I can handle ivf, but I need to have some answers as dh wont discuss that propely until he has all the facts.

Hiya miniH you are very welcome. Sounds we're in a similar position. DH has repeat SA later this month. He had low count and sluggish swimmers - repeat bloods suggest it's down to high prolactin. Going to GP tomorrow to see exactly why and what that means!
I've had a crazy busy day - I'm annual leave so instead of resting I've cleaned bathroom and kitchen, done a couple of hours gardening, been to a two hour funeral like seriously? been to the tip with gardening rubbish, collected DH from work and been to the gym. Ordered stuff for my birthday party this weekend. and....collapse!