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Original poster

Hut of Gl/Doom, lost count of the number coz its been so long - optimists need not apply!

995 replies

OracleInaCoracle · 07/08/2011 10:51

Couldn't find the hut but in dire need of a hideout away from all those "its been 2 months" and "am I pregnant" threads.

For those of us who've been burnt by ttc, can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant or are sick of hearing the "just relax" refrain.

Leave your hope at the door and grab a gin, we are back in the speakeasy with meths on tap!

OP posts:
HaveALittleFaithBaby · 26/10/2011 18:43

Oh queen
To clarify, is the prospect of going through all that enough to decide you're not wanting to try any more? I think counselling is a good idea to get your head round what's going on. I don't really know what else to say :( other than we're all here for you.

screamqueenrollo · 26/10/2011 18:53

faith i was really upset earlier. had a good sob. Text DH who pulled the 'need to go home now' card and came home early so i cried all over him again.

Now I'm cross. This bloody Consultant, who i havent' met or spoken to in six months, expects me to consent to surgery just because he deems it necessary. Hmm I'm sure he has his reasons, but I don't think it's fair to expect me to just go along with it.
Tomorrow I'm phoning and insisting on having an appt to discuss the results of the tests i've already had done and for him to explain to me what exactly the lap and dye is for. That's not an unreasonable request is it?
I'm not going to get IVF funded, as I already have a child. I'm not going through this test if the odds are still stacked against me conceiving naturally.

And if the secretary tries to fob me off tomorrow i'll inform her that a long letter is going to PALS and the Caldecott Guardian to make known my frustration at how i've been kept in the dark and brushed off for 6 months.

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 26/10/2011 19:00

I saw the other thread. I'm glad your dp could get home to support you.
I absolutely agree you need an appointment. You need to see him to talk about the implications of the results, why he wants to do a Lap and dye and what the way forward would be. Speaking to his secretary is unacceptable. She is not medically trained to explain any of this to you. Don't take no for an answer!

pinkapples · 26/10/2011 19:06

Scan done £72 quid for more injections as follicles are not big enough 6mm she said so more injections (double dose this time) and another scan on Monday.

pinkapples · 26/10/2011 19:07

Sorry to hear that queen hope everything looks a little better in the morning glad hubby got home for you x

Onemorning · 26/10/2011 19:55

queen big hugs.

screamqueenrollo · 27/10/2011 12:00

oh FFS Angry

he has no appt free until middle of Jan. Actually it's a clinic and she can't guarantee who I will see. The lap and dye would be due end of Dec. If i put off having it until I speak to the Cons i'm messing with waiting timesHmm and won't get it until March/April instead. I feel bullied.

The letter that is coming in the post has details of all my test results. I can take it to my GP for him to talk through it if there is anything I don't understand. then if i still want an appt i can phone back and play the appointment lottery again.

I can't be arsed with this anymore. Stress is bad when TTC, and this whole thing is the biggest contributor to my stress levels.

Got an appt with my GP tomorrow for something else (three days of excruciating sinus pain) so going to ask for counselling referral.

and also - given how crap my consultant/the dept seem to be at communicating I have no confidence in him and don't want to be under his care any more.
Now do i ask my GP to refer me elsewhere or just give up?

pinkapples · 27/10/2011 16:39

If it were me I would investigate getting you in somewhere else stress is one of the major factors in stopping you get pregnant an it will just contribute to you not feeling it's worth it definatley see if you can be treated somewhere else counselling will help too I think good idea queen x

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 27/10/2011 19:29

Personally I'd ask to see an alternative consultant. But it is your choice.

screamqueenrollo · 27/10/2011 22:12

well after the advice I've had on my other thread in conception I've just had a chat with DH.

Going to see what the results so far say. Going to see exactly why my consultant wants me to have the lap and dye. I know there are no guarantees but unless it is to try and solve an actual problem which will improve my chances of conceiving naturally then I'm not going to put myself through it. DH has said he doesn't want me to keep doing this if it's going to have a negative impact on my mental health - and just now it really is starting to.

Onemorning · 28/10/2011 11:14

Queen, I went through quite a lot of upset leading to the lap and dye. It was a 'let's see what's happening' l&d, rather than a problem solving one.

Big hugs x

screamqueenrollo · 28/10/2011 11:38

i saw my GP this morning. No1 - the 'sinus problems' are most likely an allergy, as i have other symptoms too. main culprits according to the GP will either be my dog Sad or house dust mites.
no2 - he has told me to write directly to my consultant giving a timeline of the last 6 months and how frustrating i have found it and give him the right to reply. He has pointed out that some of the mistakes that have been made will have been down to junior drs in the dept and it's possible the Consultant knows nothing about it. GP said if i don't get a decent response to then take it higher.
no3 - there is NO counselling available. none at all. He told me to look in the Yellow Pages and find the money to go privately. The only help available is through the CPN and he explained that I really don't want that on my medical records unless it's for a 'real mental health problem'....

He was stunned, completely stunned that the Dept are expecting me to consent to surgery under the circumstances i described. He has made notes of all this on my file and told me to phone him or get an appt if i need any help pushing the hospital.

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 29/10/2011 11:49

ok well I hope and pray it's not the dog!! How long have you had said dog? Surely you would have reacted before now?!
no 2 - I think it's a good plan. If you can't see him directly, a letter may well bring the issues to the forefront.
no3. I would avoid going down the CPN route personally. You are not really a candidate for them because you're only struggling with the reality of awful circumstances not actually suffering with a mental health problem. Sucks that's there's no counselling though!
On my front, af is...awol. BFN this morning. But I was expecting the witch yesterday. SUppose it's only a matter of time. Body playing tricks on me again

screamqueenrollo · 29/10/2011 16:08

well i've always had animals but the GP said i could develop an intolerance/allergy at any point. Makes no difference, had the dog since he came with DH (4 years) - hound is 12 now so realistically only with a for a short time.

pinkapples · 30/10/2011 21:58

My gp said something along the same lines to me (I have two dogs) and I had asthma he tried to tell me getting rid of the dogs would sort it out but there is no way I am parting with my pooches so I take one piriton every morning and have 2 inhalers I'll live... With all this ttc ing the least of my worries is the dogs hehe third scan tomorrow to see if my follicles have grown now holding out much hope as the pcos is goingto slow the process (or so the nurse said) bin injecting for about 12 days so far on day 15 tomorrow so will wait and see.. Remember ladies it's the start of a new week so chins up, think positive and if that fails just slap on your war paint and face the world smiling they don't need to feel our pain we have enough problems trying to do it

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 31/10/2011 06:14

Hope the scan goes well pink.
Well af arrived three days late just enough time to send me bankers
Ah well, twas a glimmer of hope on what has been a gloomy horizon for while.

pinkapples · 31/10/2011 12:55

Hmmm scan over, have follicles one at 8mm and the other at 10mm so 2 more days of injections and another scan on Thursday... Feel like this is going to take me forever Sad

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 31/10/2011 13:06

How big do they need to be?

screamqueenrollo · 31/10/2011 14:36

pink

my results are here! have posted in full over in conception hoping someone can shed some light on them......

but the HSG showed my left tube is blocked and I have hydrosalpinx. Shouldn't have googled....Sad not got a good feeling about that. But it seems the lap and dye is necessary. Shit scared of having surgery.

pinkapples · 31/10/2011 17:12

I had a lap + ovarian drilling ha 2 weeks of work but the pain really wasn't that bad you'll be fine honestly... Bit Sad about my results (they need to be 17 faith) but I have 2 which is one more than the normal person with no problem so when they are ready it will at least double my chances... Nurse said my ovaries were responding well (if a little slow) an that they should grow it's a long process but I think I am prepared and as long as they get there in the end...

screamqueenrollo · 31/10/2011 17:26

am currently composing a complaint to forward to relevant people. Have now been told that if i want to talk to someone about my results and the lap and dye (why i need it, what possible outcomes there are) i have to wait for an Appt at the clinic in january and so my L+D won't be until March.
I 'was told at initial appt that it is staged management and i would get my results like this'......so i pointed out no i bloody wasn't. I was given the impression i would get my results as i went along. I also feel irrationally pissed off that the letter I have is a copy of what's been sent to my GP. It horrible to read this letter, it's like being in a room with people talking about you as if you aren't there Sad.
I pointed out to the sec that it is their bad communication that has brought about and exasperated this situation. I told her I'm complaining. She has responded that she will make my consultant 'aware of my feelings'....

might be shooting myself in the foot, but really i need to do something about the shit communication. I wouldn't have been pestering if i'd had this all explained to me properly at the beginning.

Sorry for the me me me post.

pink will keep my fingers crossed for a good outcome for you x

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 31/10/2011 20:28

Well I will pray they keep growing pink
queenie good for you, write it down. In my experience, he who speaks most eloquently gets the best NHS service. Complaining gets you better service. Shouldn't be the case, but it is. There's a poster on the wall that says we should take complaints as a positive because we can learn from them ;)

screamqueenrollo · 31/10/2011 21:04

I've been very, very careful to be polite. Every time i've spoken to them - after all they are as much 'victims' of the system as us patients. I'm just cross that communication is so bad. Not processing paperwork, just not contacting me.
I've been through my posts here and written out a timeline of all calls and conversations i've had.

It's awful to say but the Dr I did see was a young chinese girl and there was a language barrier. I also very much got the impression that she was not comfortable dealing with patients - as in talking to me. She was so quiet....didn't really explain things well at all. With hindsight I should have been more forward right at the beginning but then I didn't know I was going to have all this hassle......

What I find most difficult is that I don't want to make an idiot of myself by complaining about 'procedure' if it really is the way things are done, but the point i'm really trying to make to the hospital is that I am a human being not just some bloody statistic and they should remember that and deal with me accordingly.
I really feel for the frontline staff - I've had nothing but the absolute best experience with every member of nursing staff I've encountered, and yet these poor people must really get the brunt of stupid Consultants and their over-inflated sense of self.

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 01/11/2011 07:05

Communication is the downfall of the NHS. They haven't met the promises they made you so they need to have that pointed out. You're entitled to speak to your specialist about test results in a timely manner. Leaving you hanging like this is tantamount to torture. So tell me - ever so politely! :) - in a letter. They quite often do telephone consultations so I agree that would be an option.
I can't be arse to get out of.bed. I think you should get at least cd1&2 off work if you suffer. Snot fair!

delilahbelle · 02/11/2011 19:06

Hey all

Feeling distinctly meh today. I have v bad OV pain on one side - enough that I needed to take painkillers. It's the side without the tube, so I wonder if that affects things. I am considering going back on the pill - but at the same time I like the fact I have a sex drive, and I don't want to put on weight. All things that were a problem last time I was on it.

screamqueen I've had a lap, it's really not that bad. Lost a tube in the process (hydrosalpinx too funnily) but the recovery was fine. They gave me loads of super strength painkillers, I didn't need any of them. My consultant was really great about explaining what was going on and why though.

pink got things crossed for you - you only need one, stay positive.

faith I think time off on CD1/2 should be written into law - I know I am a wreck every month, and only cope with LOTS of painkillers and taking things easy.