Hut of Gl/Doom, lost count of the number coz its been so long - optimists need not apply!

[OracleInaCoracle]

Couldn't find the hut but in dire need of a hideout away from all those "its been 2 months" and "am I pregnant" threads.

For those of us who've been burnt by ttc, can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant or are sick of hearing the "just relax" refrain.

Leave your hope at the door and grab a gin, we are back in the speakeasy with meths on tap!

Lissie, I hope you don't go for long - so sorry that you are so upset - that thread was highly destructive, I think. :(

I also wondered after reading that thread whether I should even be here and have decided not to stay on this thread - you are all lovely but as I already have a DS, my pain (I feel) is secondary to yours and I wish you all the luck in the world with getting pregnant and having your babies.

Pink - good luck with those injections - hope they do the job for you!

Queen - so sorry your DH is having troubles supporting you - I do agree that many men just don't seem able to comprehend how badly this affects women and because they have troubles empathising, they'd just rather not hear about stuff they can't do anything about (flippin' "fixit" mentality!) I hope you can work things out with him.

One - glad your investigation didn't hurt and your tubes are fine - hurrah!

((hugs)) to you all and the very best of luck and sticky baby vibes xx

Feels like the end of an era! Will be very sorry to see either of you go, but I.do understand your reasons. I do hope you'll pop back every so often!
pink that's great news, delighted to hear your body is behaving :)
No stories from me, effectively I'm in the tww but don't even.have my phantom symptoms like sore boobs so I'm not excited. Just biding time til DH
'S appointment.

i popped into that thread but decided not to bother reading it all.

In RL i've been sharing this journey with a friend who ttc for two years before finally getting PG. It will be her first. I said that I look at my DS and wonder if he is my little miracle and if i'll be denied the joy again. And DH has no children of his own and I feel for him that I might never give him that. She has said that she doesn't see why the despair every month when AF arrives should be any diferent for me.

I'm staying on this thread. There hasn't been any of the sentiment displayed on that thread straying into the Hut. In here I think we all understand that this journey we find ourselves on is heartbreaking whether you are TTC your first or 2/3/4.
The frustration of why your body isn't working is still there. For me I'm finding it very hard to comprehend that my body did it once without help - so why the hell isn't it doing it now.

I understand if the two of you feel the need to stay away, but as far as I'm concerned this thread is for supporting each other through the ups and downs of the infertility journey.

Yes I have my beautiful DS. It doesn't mean my pain at not yet conceiving a DC2 is in any way diminished.

AIBU doesn't leave room for nuances or discussion. I've never been pregnant, so though I feel terrible pain for that, I can't imagine how it feels to have miscarried or lost a child through stillbirth, or to be suffering from secondary infertility. At the moment I'm on anti-depressants and trying to get my head round what to do next.

(((hugs))) to everyone who needs them. IF is a bastard.

Which thread is this?

Hello Faith its a thread that has now been moved from AIBU to 'other topics' in that section.
Its quite an upsetting thread and very long. I have followed it all the way through but have felt a bit too sad to post on it and worried i may say the wrong thing. There were some stories on there that put it in perspective for me and also some stories that validated that some of the feelings and thoughts i have been having over the last 20 months are felt by others too.
What i took from it is that none of us really, fully understand what others are going through during their difficulties ttc. Most of us suffering from any form of infertility or difficulty staying pregnant are having a shit time and MN should be a place where we can help each other through those awful times and feelings.

I completely agree I haven't seen th other thread but I have seen a lot of the other ones on here and the hut is definately a more supportive environment and there is plenty of room for discussion without saying the wrong thing hehe

Like you said we all feel our pain individually and although we will never know how anyone else feels we still have each other as at the end ofthe day it's the end result that matters

Hi jemima, long time no see!
I've read some of the thread but then my.phone died. Can't skip to page I was on.
It's such a nightmare isn't it? I know the op from other threads and she's mortified now.
I actually don't think about ttc in that respect. Everyone's situation is so different. Like for me, I struggle more with fb but I realised that's because you never really know the back story. I know one girl from school announced she was upduffed with her ds (now one) just after we started ttc. She's know announced she's expecting dc#2. But I don't know how long she tried for ds, could gave been a few months. Could have been a couple of years! So I'm jealous but really I have no idea.
I think it's different on MN. For example, I got friendly with someone on here earlier in the year who fell pregnant quickly the first time after trying for a short time.but I know she waited for three years to be able to start trying. She sadly went on to have an mc. Now she's just found out she's pregnant :) I am 100% delighted for her, I know what she went through.
It's been really tough ttc for so long but I just always count my blessings. I know lots of people would love to have such a great relationship with their DH like I do, we have a fab house and family.
The lack of honesty about infertility in RL causes a lack of understanding where lots of us may well be in the same boat.
Does that make sense?

Another pregnancy announcement on face book definitely know I should stop going on there but something always pulls me back

I left for a couple of months when I was really struggling. Now I'm just not bothered with it. I have to hide all pregnant people though.

Hello, have been doing a lot of lurking and not much posting recently! Have been feeling a bit bleak and low about the whole ttc business. Working hard on getting my optimistic hat back on! Have app with private fertility clinic in 3 weeks so a step in the right direction. Just feel like the whole business is driving me and dh apart rather than closer together at the moment. On holiday the week after next, soooo so need it!
lissie I really hope you havnt gone for good. You really do give out some fantastic advice and support on this thread and others and it would be a shame to see you go. We are all here to help you out too.
Hello to everyone else, hope you are having a good weekend.

Had a good day today had my hair extensions done had to travel all the way to Portsmouth but it was definitely worth it and dh likes it too so we know what I'll be up to tonight starting to feel a little more positive too so whatever helps

Ooh hair extensions. My hairdresser reckons I couldn't handle the maintenance. I've been going to her for 5 years so I'm inclined to believe her.
I'm sure you look fabulous :)
I've just found out one of my oldest friends - who has an 18 month old ds- actually ttc'd for 2 years. Now I know, I've felt able to tell her about us and she's been ace :) It's to nice to have that support from someone in RL.

Ps jemima nice to hear from you :) sounds like things are moving forward in a positive way. Sorry it's causing friction in your relationship, have you considered counselling? I went for counselling - on my own- when we were really struggling. It helped me to respond differently to DH and stopped us going any further down a slippery slope. Worth considering?

Hello.
faith I tried counselling but it just wasn't for me, I really didn't feel comfortable talking to a stranger and found I couldn't open up at all. Tended to sit there in silence and it was all very awkward, ended up dreading going to it in the end. Had 2 and a quarter of my 5 sessions I had booked then left my third session after 15 minutes and never returned! Was really hoping it would help me but it just didn't work. Maybe I didn't click with the counsellor, I just don't know.
I honestly feel like the only thing that would properly help would be moving abroad for a year or so to get away (escape) from it all! I know it sounds loopy but I dream if this. Just feel v peeved with life here at the mo.
Sorry for me, me, me post!

I understand counselling isn't for everyone. Works well for me but I love talking about myself!
I love the idea of upping sticks and going off to live abroad for a while. In reality I doubt I'd stick it though!

...and yet another baby fb announcement. What with seeing my.friend yesterday - who started ttc within a fortnight of us with her now 9 month old ds, I feel like hell today. Good news is pms is not as bad as usual which I'm putting down to healthy eating/ low sugar diet.

Hi all - wow I've missed a lot. Sorry to see Lissie go, hope it's not a permanant thing!

My two best friends have told me within the space of 24 hours than one of them has got her dates for IVF, and the other is 12 weeks pregnant with her second DC. Her DD is only 6 months old! :(

did anyone else find that HSG messed with their cycle? AF is awol.....only by one day but I don't have any of the usual signs that she's about to put in an appearance.

queen I'm not regular enough to the day to pass comment. Hate to state the obvious but have you considered peeing on a stick? Hsg flushes your tubes out and increases the likelihood of you conceiving for a few months...

faith i'm not regular to the day either. So when i say a day late I mean that really it could be three days. But i tend to use day 33 instead of 30 as my benchmark for being late.
I haven't POAS, partly because i've been housebound with a headache today(haven't got any in the house) and partly because I just can't face the disappointment of BFN. I'd rather just wait for AF to show up. I think I'll give it until the weekend and then do a test if she's not here.

Long gone are the days when I could let myself get excited about a no-show from AF. I'm sure she'll turn up.....

Sorry if I didn't respond to you! I've got a friend who is upduffed with dc2 - scans on fb - before dc1's birthday. So that must have been 9 months. My friend had her baby yesterday. My friend who started ttc 9 months after us has now given birth. I'm still not upduffed. Boo.
queen I know that feeling all too well but I suppose we have to cling on to any shred of hope....what cd are you now then? 33?

I second that although you have to find the balance I think if we got excited every cycle we'd probably have heart failure but must try not to be to negative

Scan tomorrow I am now cd9 (cd10 tomorrow) had my first gonal f injection on cd4 this will be my first scan since day 4... Wonder what they will say but I have been on the lowest dose (37.5) so not much I would imagine.

Night all and positive thinking vibes to those in the 2ww!

had to go out so bought a test and no surprises it was BFN. Still no sign of AF. Haven't heard from Consultant yet so phoned to chase it up and his secretary isn't in so I have to wait for them to get back to me. I'm so tired of waiting.

It took me so long to get my cycle regular, I can't face the thought of it going haywire again.

well that's me out by the sound of it. My results weren't that good, Consultant needs to check my pelvis and tubes out properly and has referred me for lap and dye. I really don't want that.

Going to phone GP and ask for counselling referral. Need to come to terms with this.