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Original poster

Hut of Gl/Doom, lost count of the number coz its been so long - optimists need not apply!

995 replies

OracleInaCoracle · 07/08/2011 10:51

Couldn't find the hut but in dire need of a hideout away from all those "its been 2 months" and "am I pregnant" threads.

For those of us who've been burnt by ttc, can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant or are sick of hearing the "just relax" refrain.

Leave your hope at the door and grab a gin, we are back in the speakeasy with meths on tap!

OP posts:
HaveALittleFaithBaby · 15/10/2011 10:57

Oh Delilah I think you have to treat this like bereavement, worth researching the stages of grief, something like this
It's worth remembering that this doesn't run in order. You will reach acceptance at times but then go back to other stages like anger. It's not fair what's happening to you and I'm sure getting the bill and pregnancy announcement is just awful.
Excellent plan for an autumn walk, free exercise and fresh air. Hopefully it's sunny like it is here. Get your vitamin d boost and a lovely hot choc to warm you on your return.

Thzumbazombiewitch · 15/10/2011 11:28

Oh Delilah - so sorry that it's all come at once like that. A wallow is always ok for a bit. Walk and hot chocolate sounds great - not sure you'll get much Vitamin D at this time of year though, the sun is too low in general between late October and February to generate any - but you might still catch some! :)

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 15/10/2011 12:06

"Katie Kitten is having a kitten" ???? WTF Hmm

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 15/10/2011 12:15

Sorry you are having such a pants time at the moment Delilah Have yourself a couple of cheeky glasses of wine tonight Wink

delilahbelle · 16/10/2011 12:55

Thanks all
Feeling better today - wine and Xfactor worked wonders.
I have spent the day clearing out the house - ebay/freecycle/musicmagpie all v good.

Free listings on ebay today if anyone else has the time to sell anything!

pinkapples · 17/10/2011 14:20

Is having a &29/&:&:!:' crap day!!!! Been visited by AF unexpectedly and not got another apt for 2 weeks so now will not be able to start injections on the 3rd nov as i was going to induce a bleed so I would be on day 3 for the appointment now that's all gone to crap and I just feel awful

Thzumbazombiewitch · 17/10/2011 14:33

oh pink. Sorry to hear that, how very shit. I presume you can't get an earlier appointment in light of the unexpected AF? You'll have to wait for another one later on? Have some virtual Wine and a (((hug))).

screamqueenrollo · 17/10/2011 16:23

my consultant's secretary phoned me this morning. my results have all been put together and my cons will look at them and make his decision about what to do next. Next week when he gets back off holiday Hmm Angry
I asked if someone could talk me through some of them this week as waiting 6 months for the results of my blood tests is ridiculous.
'no, we don't do that. you cannot take test results as an individual. We wait until we have them all and then get the full picture.'

so i pointed out that if my hormone results show i'm possibly/probably not ovulating it would have been nice to be told that straight away so i didn't spend six months just bloody wondering. She said that it doesn't work like that. The hormone levels on their own are not a valid diagnosis tool, as they could be affected by a blocked tube.

And i've also been told that depending on what he finds he may just write to me with his findings and what his next moves will be, that is if he intends to actually take any. He will call me in for an appt to see him if he deems it necessary from my results.

I am so bloody cross. The secretary was patronising. That's how it felt anyway. I wouldn't have been treated like this if I went private, so why are the NHS allowed to get away with it. I would be less annoyed if I had been told at the beginning of this process that this is how they deal with it. I wouldn't have stressed nearly so much.

Can I ask how others have been dealt with? Did you have to wait like this or were you informed as you went along.
I really feel disheartened and have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that because I already have a child they are doing the bare minimum and I'm going to get the big brush off next week Sad I hope I'm proven wrong.

Onemorning · 17/10/2011 16:53

It seems like a long time between the tests and results, queen, and we don't have any DC so I don't think it's personal. I had a lap and dye in Mar, but didn't have the appointment until August. I was gutted.

I once dared to say to a nurse that I was fed up with all the tests - she told me 'we all have our crosses to bear' FFS.

(((queen)))

(((pink)))

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 17/10/2011 17:44

Oh pink that stupid, evil witch! How utterly crap!
Queen I've had individual results as I've gone along. GP did bloods then told me. My progesterone levels were always low so I charted to see if I saw a peak/pattern. Then DH had his first sa and bloods, we went to the GP and got those results.
I then went to fertility clinic. They just took a history and told us the plans for the tests. The girl wasn't brilliant tbh.
I had the fanny cam and Hsg on the same day and they told me there and then what they saw, though of course this may be because they were 'normal'.
Now waiting for DH specialist appt.

screamqueenrollo · 17/10/2011 17:59

Dh in from work, just told him what happened today and did what he always does which is feck all. I asked him to at least feign interest and then he pulls the 'i don't feel well i just want to relax for 5 mins'.
He ALWAYS fucking does this when I need to talk about this stuff.

Not really much point trying to have a baby with a man who is so bloody dis-interested in how hard this is for me.

If my results next week don't reveal a straightforward fix then I'm going back on the pill. I'd rather know i can't get pregnant by choice than have this endless 'what if'......

i feel so low now.....

Onemorning · 17/10/2011 19:19

Queen, that's horrible. I think men are sometimes less connected to the pain because it's not their body.

I can see what you mean about taking the pill, I've thought of it too as a way of taking some control over my life again.

Big hugs xx

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 17/10/2011 20:03

Oh I did a post and it didn't work.
queen I think your fella is probably doing the head in the sand thing. It's often a bloke's only way of dealing with things when it's so hard to handle. Doesn't really help you though, does it?
Have some .

screamqueenrollo · 18/10/2011 08:49

i got a bit cross with him i'm afraid and told him i'm not doing this anymore. i can't go through all of this if he's incapable of supporting me. i don't ask for much, simply actually listening to me would be a start. I asked him why he was incapable of giving me support. I am strong, I've been through a lot of emotional turmoil in my life. Having to deal with stuff, it made me strong. But just every now and then I have to be allowed to fall apart, and i need him there to pick up the pieces of me and put them back together.
We had a good talk last night. Going to see what happens with the Consultant next week. And when we feel the time is right we're going to complain about the lack of communication.

screamqueenrollo · 18/10/2011 08:52

I meant to say he just doesn't know how to help me. He's finding it hard to know how to support me. men are rubbish at this aren't they.

pinkapples · 18/10/2011 22:21

Awww that sounds rubbish but we always get through it in the end... My hubby is exactly the same and like u I am a very strong person but sometimes need to crumble... It is not to much at all to ask him to listen to you and quite rightfully pick up the pieces after all who else have we got... No one else really knows what it's like

ColdSancerre · 19/10/2011 21:02

Lissie first of all hugs that you were upset on the other thread, secondly don't go. Really, don't go.

Onemorning · 19/10/2011 21:26

Hello all

Lissie I don't know your history but could see how upset you were on the other thread. Like Sancerre said, please don't go. This place is much nicer than AIBU.

I had my HSG yesterday and it was fine - no pain / discharge and the old tubes appear to be working.

pinkapples · 19/10/2011 21:46

Absolutely bricking it tomorrow is my scan to start injections will let you know how it goes have still got AF so not looking forward to this at all!

screamqueenrollo · 19/10/2011 21:58

have an unmnetty ((hug)) pink will be thinking of you tomorrow, hope it goes well x

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 19/10/2011 22:06

one, very glad that a) the Hsg wasn't painful I'm a tad envious mine hurt, a lot and b) the your plumbing is in order :)
pink all the best for tomorrow. Hope it goes ok. Let us know how you get on.
Lissie lovely what's going on?! I never go in aibu, it's too mean for someone like me.

Onemorning · 19/10/2011 23:01

((pink)) hope it goes well

pinkapples · 20/10/2011 20:19

Well there is a god! At 8.30am this
Morning I stopped bleeding! Woohoo! So scan was not that bad started injections first one today gonal-f for 7 days another scan next Wednesday... Any stories?

Onemorning · 20/10/2011 21:07

No stories but a big YAY for you.

LissieLovettsDeliciousMeatPies · 20/10/2011 22:47

thanks all, but have been hovering around the thread all day (like a scab I cant stop picking) and Im really, really upset. It feels like every time I have spoken to someone who is childless and infertile they are thinking "what do you know?" and some of the posts today have just confirmed that feeling. Im cross. it seems like the majority of contributors have been quick to jump down the throats of people who have "defended" those suffering from SIF, saying that the OP has the right to her feelings, while dismissing the rights of people like me who are incredibly upset.

this isnt aimed at anyone in here or the posters who Ive spoken to offboard, but a little break might do me good.

love to all xxx