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Original poster

Hut of Gl/Doom, lost count of the number coz its been so long - optimists need not apply!

995 replies

OracleInaCoracle · 07/08/2011 10:51

Couldn't find the hut but in dire need of a hideout away from all those "its been 2 months" and "am I pregnant" threads.

For those of us who've been burnt by ttc, can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant or are sick of hearing the "just relax" refrain.

Leave your hope at the door and grab a gin, we are back in the speakeasy with meths on tap!

OP posts:
LissieLovettsDeliciousPies · 10/10/2011 16:08

fwiw, your cons sounds a lot like mine. its so frustrating.

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 10/10/2011 20:04

Oh Queen that sounds awful. Unfortunatley, I'm yet to experience the 'system' so I'm unsure whether it's normal. Coud you google your PCT to see if their timescales are mentioned at all and whether a complaint would be advisable?

DH & I are back to see the doc tomorrow, fingers crossed that we will come out with somesort of action plan. At worst, he'll send us away again, but I'm expecting that he'll just ask for the basic tests to be carried out again (you know, the ones that we had done in January 2010 Angry). At that time, I was a little naive to it all, but this time I want action. Can any of you ladies suggest any key questions I should be asking in order to get things up & running ASAP?

Thzumbiewitch · 11/10/2011 00:02

oh Queen, that is horrendous! If someone is so anally retentive that they don't wish to delegate their work, then they shouldn't go on bloody holiday so often! Really poor practice and shows little to no care for the actual patients waiting :(. I don't know whether or not it's standard practice but it's still shit. Can you ask to change consultant at this point or will that necessitate a new referral and yet more waiting? can't believe the dozy git didn't get a locum in to cover his workload - that's just irresponsible, IMO. Angry for you.

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 12/10/2011 19:27

Oooh I am so fucking angry Angry We have been fobbed off yet again until February next year Angry Angry

The doc wittered on for ages about the chances of falling pregnant in any one year, and the chances of miscarriage. He spent far too long showing us fancy calculations to work out that we were one in so many million thousand, and we are so incredibly unlucky to have been TTC for 4 and a half years and had two miscarriages.
He was so sympathetic towards us I was feeling quite positive until he started reeling off the NICE guidelines like a script,. I started thinking 'oh, here we go'!

I was so upset & angry that I couldnt speak for fear of crying to challenge him or ask any questions that I had lined up.
We simply left and I sobbed as soon as I got in the car.

I then got angry at myself for not piping up and showing him how upsetting it is and being a bit more assertive!

Oh by the way, he enjoyed repeating that we were NOT infertile as there has been a pregancy within the last 12 months! I'm a fraud!

Onemorning · 12/10/2011 21:35

Oh, First, that's awful. I'm so sorry. (((First)))

I really think that NHS staff should have some sensitivity about IF, FFS.

Thzumbiewitch · 12/10/2011 23:05

oh bloody hell, First! That's horrible. What a git. :(and Angry for you.

This all goes hand in hand with the way MCs are dealt with though, doesn't it - perhaps MN should widen their scope on the MC protocol to include IF. They're all very cavalier about it until it happens to them - and of course it won't happen to the men, even if it does happen to their wives, half of them still don't get it.

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 13/10/2011 09:49

Oh first and queen I'm so sorry you're having a crappy time especially at the hand of someone else.

screamqueenrollo · 13/10/2011 10:33

first sorry you are having a crap time Sad and Angry on your behalf.

I'm in the middle of a huge row (via e-mail) with not-so-D H. It started last night. he lied to me about something, then continued to lie when i fronted him about it. I'm just furious, absolutely steaming....and he keeps apologising and i'm just so pissed off with him. He's actually broken my trust about something that is maybe not so important. but it's broken nonetheless and made worse by the stupid way he dealt with it last night.
I feel like a cold heartless bitch right now for the way i'm dealing with him but i will never, never let a man think he can get on over on me. Never.

Thzumbiewitch · 13/10/2011 11:24

oh Queen - that's doubly shit. What on earth did he lie about it for when you confronted him? I hate that. I hate lying full stop but that's worse. :( and Angry for you too.

screamqueenrollo · 13/10/2011 12:19

he was embarrassed and i think he panicked. then he got rid of the evidence right in front of meShockand tried to claim he'd deleted them earlier. but i'd already checked his phone (this is about texts) so i told him so and that i knew they were there a few minutes before. I didn't read them by the way.
What i do know is that this is about a completely innocent text exchange, but it is the person and the history that are the problem.
sorry to be cryptic. we've talked a lot about it today, and we're fine

Thzumbiewitch · 13/10/2011 12:32

DH has been known to lie to me but he crumbles at the first hint that I know it's a lie (thank God!) - like the time he and DS came back from fishing in the lake in different clothes and with a dud Blackberry - the reason given was that he'd dropped the fishing rod and jumped into the lake trying to retrieve it, and DS had just got wet from playing at the edge. What actually happened was MIL had taken DS "swimming" in the lake (against my express wishes) and had lost her footing, so DH had to jump in to save them both from drowning. Shock And I believed his first story! Only found out the truth because I overheard him telling his boss why he needed a new Blackberry (work phone) and told him he was going to hell for lying (thinking he was lying to his boss) and he caved and told me!

screamqueenrollo · 13/10/2011 12:50

god men are idiotic sometimes....

Thzumbiewitch · 13/10/2011 12:52

Yep. It achieved something though - he now accepts that DS shouldn't go swimming a) in the lake or b) with his mum. Thank God for small mercies and that it didn't take something more serious to convince him.

pinkapples · 13/10/2011 18:58

Am so so cross it's unreal Angry had an apt today to start my injections and turned up alone expecting a scan and the drugs... Only to be told by the nurse my dh had to be there for a semen analysis as it's a yr since his last one Grrrr now have to wait 3 weeks for the next appointment they could fit us in with dh and I! Only 3 weeks I know but I've now lost my shot at October

screamqueenrollo · 13/10/2011 22:28

pink that is just rubbish. you poor thing.

Thzumbazombiewitch · 14/10/2011 08:07

oh pink, that is so stupid of them!! Wtf did they not tell you that in the appt letter?? Stupid gits. :(

pinkapples · 14/10/2011 13:35

Who knows... We have been passed over now from reproductive medicine to the clinic for treatment now she did give me a stack of consent forms and can you believe dh has to sign to say he will take Legal parental responsibility for any resulting child how ridiculous! If every pregnant women gave one of those to their prospective dads half of them would run a mile!!!! Also both of us had to fill out a welfare questionnaire hmmm... Have either of us been convicted of child endangerment! WTF

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 14/10/2011 15:56

This would be yet another classic example of what I like to call NHS logic
Sorry about the set back, how frustrating for you.

Onemorning · 14/10/2011 16:45

Oh pink that sucks. Angry for you. Gah.

HSG is booked for Tuesday. I'm so looking forward to it*. I'm imagining smear + xray + full bladder + radioactive goo.

  • I could be lying.
HaveALittleFaithBaby · 14/10/2011 20:05

Oh yes the Hsg. Always fun! take pain killers before you go More like smear + stinging + radioactive dye.
I didn't need a full bladder....

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 14/10/2011 20:06

Oh another fb scan with a declaration that 'Katie kitten is expecting a kitten'. What fun.

Onemorning · 14/10/2011 20:21

I've got a bad back at the mo and am on the codeine. So I'll be well painkillered up :)

FB is the devil's work IMO

screamqueenrollo · 14/10/2011 20:43

one the HSG is fine really. And if you're on codeine already then you really should be ok! I had to arrive with a full bladder as it's procedure to do a pregnancy test first but the actual HSG is done with an empty bladder.

HaveALittleFaithBaby · 14/10/2011 21:51

They just took my word for it that I'd had my lmp, assumed I wasn't upduffed then and checked I'd had protected sex since then. All the staff were so lovely, made the experience much better, chatting with me along the lines of 'It'll all be worth it if you get a baby'.

delilahbelle · 15/10/2011 10:03

Another flipping pregnancy announcement on facebook.

Whenever I think I've come to terms with the fact we can't have kids, something kicks me in the face.

DH is working away from home in the week and the house just seems bleak and empty. My job sucks, I am totally broke (£1250 bill for my failed FET came through) and life just seems to have no joy to it at the moment. I seem to have put on a stone due to comfort eating, and can't even afford the flipping gym.

Dammit.

Now that self indulgent wallow is over, am going to go out for a long walk whilst DH is glued to sport on TV. Hot chocolate when I return, guaranteed to make me smile.