Article in the Telegraph about kids starting school and not being potty trained.

[wintera]

I read this in the paper this morning and thought it was an interesting article.

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/primaryeducation/5956231/Pupils-start-school-still-in-nappies.html

I have read this thread with interest and agree with a lot of what has been said re: some parents delaying training because they feel its too hard for them not the child, however I have dd2 who is 3.7yrs and regularly wee's herself at home and at grandma's.

I have literally tried everything with her...reward charts, plenty of praise, ignoring it, punishing her when she wets by taking toys away and nothing seems to work, she really just doesn't care no matter what I seem to do.

And she doesn't do it when we're out only at home or at grandma's! She is also dry at night so I know she has enough bladder control to do it. Been to gp and no uti, so what is it.

I've not been lazy she trained successfully at 3yrs the same as her sister, this has only started 3/4months ago. No major changes in her life to account for it either.

So what do I do????

why would anyone want to train a child too young to undress themselves? It'd be one thing giving myself a life of constant toilet trips with a child too young to cope alone, but imposing the same on any babysitter / family- why?

My son's best friend is Indian and apparently he was potty trained at 4 and half months old! This is quite late by Indian standards.

My little girl is coming up to 4 months and I have been trying poo catching elimination communication with no very limited sucess. However she never wees on my clothes or the changing mat. She will wee into a bowl, if I make a "psst" noise to her. However I am pretty useless at reading her signals so she wees into her nappy 95% of the time. Yes, I know its really me catching the poos rather than her deciding to go to toilet.

My son had 100% bladder and bowel control when naked at two and half when bare bottomed, but as soon as you put pants on him he treated it as a nappy. The problem was that I had trained him to poo into his clothing. In the end I got him to stop using his pants as a toilet by bribary.

The age that children become trained varies from culture to culture. My guess is that in France childen are put on the potty from babyhood so are used to the idea.

When I was at infant school, the teachers kept a supply of spare pants. Any accidents were met very matter of factly, teacher would just help the child get clean, dry and changed. And people (including me) did have occasional accidents in infants, despite being potty trained many years earlier!

What on earth has happened that this seems to have turned into such a big issue?

BonsiorAnna- there must be a whole host of cultural factors that influence when parents start potty training their children. I'm sure it's not just creches.

edam teachers still keep spare pants and clothes and a pair of wet pants isn't a big dealnut a nappy full of poo isn't in any way the same experience.

but

schools still expect young childrne to wet themselves occasionally and deal very well with that. I think this is about not being out of nappies.

belgo - maybe. But round me, the school start deadline really seems to be the crux of the matter! I have been in the park quite a bit recently, and have met several mothers of children about to start petite section and all their talk is about whether their children are propre (which is absolutely the only skill children are supposed to have mastered before starting school).

pointydog - certainly here in France the school doesn't fuss at all about the odd wee accident. Even children who have been toilet trained for a while can forget to ask for the loo when in the new rhythms and more challenging environment of school.

Just how many children without sn are in nappies at school. Hardly any I bet. I can think off the top of my head of about five children who went to mainstream schools in nappy all with special needs. I can think of two others who had poo accidents - both with very significant bowel problems.

Just sounds like another way of complaining about inclusion to m e ( which is fine by me - I am no fan) - just think you need to think about which children are a tually being complained about here be aide in reality the number of non potty trained kids without sn or health problems must be miniscule.

hijack Anna could you pop over here please

Sorry to the rest of you

saintlydamemrsturnip a reception teacher on the TES website has FOUR children in her class in nappies which works out 1:6 quite a lot really
Last year I had 2 in my reception class it certainly isn't about inclusion.

and how often are needs missed. The child I know now nearly at secondary school with the most significant bowel problems (enough to keep him in hospital for pretty much a year) did not have those diagnosed until many years after reception, actually ditto the other child I know thinking about it - she us the same age and is still having investigations to find out what is wrong.

I can't believe that many nt reception age children want to be in nappies and if they're capable then peer pressure will sort it quickly. I think it's safe to assume that those who don't manage it - have a reason- even if the name for that reason is elusive.

I'm not convinced the children want to be in nappies most seem a bit upset by it when it comes to getting changed for activities or going to the toilet pre lunch for example.

Mrz, yes, they are nurses. They are not doctors. If your child has a medical reason why potty training is not happening then he/she needs a doctor (a pediatrician probably). Going to a nurse just seems a waste of my time and the NHS resources.

I am still baffled by this thread. Are there that many 5 year olds out there in nappies? I was mortified when I sent DS to nursery at age 3 and he was about the only one weeing in his pants almost daily -- and he was only there for 2 1/2 hours. No one was wearing nappies.

I just wonder if this is really down to lazy parents. Maybe it is and I live in some protected little community of non-lazy parents.

Of course there should be strategies in place to deal with accidents. But I don't think it's smug or particularly controversial to say that children without physical disabilities or conditions should be toilet-trained by the time they go to school.

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/child_health/article6358720.ece

see this article for a classic example of plain nasty shrink advice (i measn, these people write for help, she mentions abuse as a possible ause, then goes on to say 'well, don't get stressed about it'

i think TB is a BS merchant of the hghest order

"I just wonder if this is really down to lazy parents. Maybe it is and I live in some protected little community of non-lazy parents.

I don't think it is as simple as lazy parenting. I think that there are lots of messages out there about not toilet training your children until they are ready, and lots of nappies/pulls up for older children, and parents don't necessarily know when to toilet train. That's all.

I certainly didn't rush into it as it seemed such a lot of palaver, living in a city without a garden, to try to leave the house without DD in a nappy.

AtheneNoctua a few years ago (5 max) I didn't see any children arrive in reception wearing nappies but now it is far from unusual.

@peachytheriver... if you are going to go to the loo with your kid to wipe their bum anyway, helping them with their clothes is no extra hassle.

I have to say that I am not terribly convinced of the utility of potty training children who cannot manage their clothes and wiping on their own!

I get even more children arriving in reception unable to wipe their own bottom ... but that's another issue.