"Women unhappier than ever " according to the Guardian

[KingRolo]

Interesting article here

So women's lives have got better in many ways but we're not happy. The article says women's happiness relative to men's has declined in the last 25 years.

Why might this be?

Interesting UQD, DH came back from a jaunt with some marketing types, bewildered at their interest in designer clothes, cars and gadgets. He attributed this to emulating their boss till I pointed out that they were just 20 something affluent blokes

Annie, I hated being an SAHM too which I did for 2 1/2 years.It was horridly depressing.

UQD, I find men who are into gadgets and cars and think women want 'trinkets' a real turn off. I like blokes who can do clever things with tools and do the washing up.

So in a way FHM and GQ, with their false images of attainable consumer wealth aimed at men 25-45, are just as subtly dangerous as Nuts/Loaded, with their teens/early 20s image of lairy lads out on the pull for birds with big tits... ?

I think because the way society has gone, individualistic and materialistic.

Being Pollyanna and playing the glad game is the only way to deal with a gift from MIL. "Disposable latex gloves, how delightful." "Avon fizzing bathcubes in Lily of the Valley (that have been in her drawers {shock] since 1972), thank you so much."

If everyone played the glad game there would be zero new threads in AIBU.

oh lordy, we need to stop thinking about being unhappy.

A big yes to swedes - think about Reasons to be Cheerful.

'I do not think the wage earner should have to do equal housework when he/she gets in , no.'

Well, kitty, that's no surprise coming from you.

moondog - of course, but there are sadly women out there who are impressed by that kind of thing, or at least affect to be.

Or claim to want a man with "a good sense of humour" above all, but actually want one with a big knob and a huge wallet.

I think the person who keeps the most clutter should be the one to do the bulk of the tidying up.

lol at Swedes

Nowt wrong with a big knob UQD [or a small one come to that-aknob is a`knob is a knob].At least it's free and not only available from a'designer outlet'.

As an aside, I'm abroad now and noted that due to complete remodelling of Manchester airport, you have to walk directly through duty free and run gauntlet of horrid perfume squirting women.

That would be DD in my house, Swedes! Sorted!

'aknob is a`knob is a knob'

I beg to differ .

"run gauntlet of horrid perfume squirting women" makes me think of Joey in "Friends" when he has to dress up as a cowboy and squirt passing customers with aftershave.

There was a thing in the news late last week about paring your possessions down to 100 items. I would find it v easy but DP would be white knuckled at the mere thought of it.
We all have far too much stuff.

I hate it when people think they must be super sensitive and caring because they like to hang on to wine corks and A level exercise books as memorabilia.

I think it's a bullshit excuse to suggest you don't know that men won't do the housework until after you have your first child. IME men like that choose to settle down with women who will put up with such crap and the women choose these type of men.

Men like that would have run a mile from me I am sure

I find it a useful exercise to get rid of stuff that in weak moments you thin khas dsentimental value, as a way of disciplining yourself to not get too attached to it.
Dhworks abroad on lots of 2/3 year contracts and it is very liberating to leave all of it behind when we move on.

expat it doesn't make sense. Why should the wage owner work all day and then come in and work more?

It's not fair getting your partner to come home and do your work, I call that being lazy

Why should the wage earner come home, put his/her feet up and watch the other parent do 3 more hours work?

Although I have no idea why I am joining this argument as DH was a chef and works 12-15 hour shifts so isn't physically here to do any housework.

He does though, pitch in on his days off.

It is only fair that we get equal sofa time. No?

Um, Kitty, why should the SAHP keep working once the wage earner is home and sitting on their arse?

Because the wage earner has been out working all day!!

I think they should share childcare responsibilities, but not the main bulk of household duties.

'many women don't know quite how lazy and useless their men are until they've had their first child and it's too late.'

This was certainly true for me. DD's dad talked the gender equality talk, but utterly failed to walk the walk once she was born.

The constant conflict in our relationship about chores and childcare, and his reluctance to do anything as a family made me absolutely miserable.

Looking at the couples around me, I have to say this seems to be the norm. Depressing but true. It comes as no surprise to me that women are unhappy if they are expected to take on 80-90% of the housework and childcare and in many cases (like mine) work full time too.

Now we've separated I am astoundingly happy and count my blessings everyday. What makes me happy is independence, and I thank my lucky stars every day that I have it.

Completely agree that women are very unhappy these days. They are so competitive and want to do it all simultaneously, which is far too much work (and pressure) for anyone.

I'm not unhappy! I am contented. But I am totally reconciled to the idea that, despite being more highly, and expensively, educated than my DP, I earn much less than him. However, I shape our lives in ways that I never could do were I out at work all day, and what I do with my family is FAR FAR more interesting to me than any full-time job I could reasonably do that would enable me to be a "good enough" mother and partner.

I think it is education, not employment, that is the key to female happiness...

And the SAHP had been home working all day!! And is still working when the WOHP gets home, so could use some help. What's the difference, except that one gets paid? Are you so shallow that you can only place a value on someone's job by how much they get paid?

That was for kitty, BTW....