3 sisters pg at 12, 14 and 16 - mother blames school for lack of sex education

[suzywong]

Of course it was in the Sun

I do not want to get in to the benefit angle at all, I just wonder if anyone else has any ideas about how to get the contraception message through to girls? I mean one of these kids was PG 3 times prior to this at under 16! Their mother blames the schools for not starting sex ed early enough.

What do you think?

"Desperate Midwives starts on Monday, 23 May, 2005 at 2100 BST on BBC Three.

Desperate Midwives
Mon 23 May, 9:00 pm - 9:30 pm 30mins

With extraordinary access, Desperate Midwives follows the emotional drama of childbirth.

Midwife Shirley Ann attends a home birth that goes dangerously wrong, and on the labour ward an impatient mum demands a Caesarean against medical advice.

The programme contains intimate and explicit footage."

Programme website here

Desperate Midwives is an unflinching portrayal of the blood, sweat and tears of labour; including never-seen-before footage of epidurals, C-section operations, and the actual moment of birth?

Think name is just a play of desperate housewives TBH.

Where on earth is the sense of shame. That's what I think every time I hear a story like this. If my child was pregnant at 12 I would be consumed with shame. I would feel a total failure as a parent. That all three of my girls were pregnant so early would kill me.
And yet, there they are, grinning away on the front page of a newspaper.
I know the mother is very, very stupid, and the children badly brought up and we live in a stupid, value-free, celebrity obsessed world with crap in it like celebrity love island or whatever it is, but really....

Agree with you 100%

I think that the lack of 'shame' as a meaningful concept is one of the greatest faults of our current society.

I too would be deeply ashamed of myself as a mother if three of mychildren ended up as parents below the age of legal consent.

I'm sick of dealing with children who have no sense of shame at their misbehaviour. We wee no angels but if we were caught it was a fail cop and we took our punishment and tended to be, on the whole, ashamed of our poor behaviour.

That concept is missing in so many of the children that I teach. Including the little charmer today who told me to fuck off, yet couldn't understand why I sent him to the head of year. No understanding, no shame.

someone mentioned further down about unplanned pg's, well one of the key facts my mother taught me when she was telling me about sex was

SEX = Children

no contraception is 100% effective apart from not having sex, she instilled in me that if i didn't want to have a baby and wasn't ready for the responsibility that came with it then i shouldn't be having sex.

totally agree with you aloha.
I also am amazed at the lack of personal responsibility people take - so many grown adults blatantly lying every day, blaming anyone and everyone for their mistakes/inadequacies or bad decisions, always the governments fault, the NHS, the neighbours, the other driver etc. etc.
what happened to basic morality and decency?

I think it is terrible!!! and i don't know how the mum can blame schools; she must take some responsibility herself. I was taught sex education at primary school and then again at secondary school but my parents also taught us some things. You would think that after the first daughter getting pregnant she would of sat the other 2 down and told them about the seriousness of the situation.
And the amount of benefits they get also makes me sick!! the harder someone works the less helf you get and the less someone works the more handouts you get. Its like being punished for being hardworking!

I agree, hmb. My sister is a teacher. Although she was given classes in psychology as part of her certification courses, she's not a counsellor, clergywoman, babysitter, etc. She's trained to teach people to read. How is it her fault if her students have sex outside school and get pregnant?

Gimme a break!

Blame, blame, blame.

I suppose the story in the papers was a preemptive strike by the mother against the inevitable backlash the programme would generate. Despite that, she could sound more regretful rather than allocate blame elsewhere but then it probably wouldn't suit the Sun , Mirror etc to put that view forward.

Sadly, Liz, I doubt that she does think it is her fault. I bet she thinks it is the schools fault. Unfortuntly she is not alone in this.

hmb I agree - she doesn't seem to have an ounce of regret or any sense of responsibility. After the first time one of her daughter's got pregnant (which ended in miscarriage or abortion) probably a couple of years ago, you'd have thought alarm bells might ring and she might have taken it upon herself to "educate" her daughters and avoid just this situation. As I posted further down the others would have fallen pregnant after the first baby was born, or thereabouts.

I got pregnant young (21) i am 22 now but even though i do think it is bad 3 young girls pregnant with no fathers around and living off benefits.I do have to agree not once was i taught any sex education. I was taught the scientific part of it of course but never the emotional side of it! Never taught about condoms,the pill i just learnt from my mum and common sense! Not that this affected me having a child , as i am not like any of these girls!

Agree with HMB that the TV show 'Back to the 60's', where the series recreated a strict 60's schooling environment. At the end of the experiment they did not want to go back to the present day - the kids liked the formal strict atmosphere in the school, in which they had all the modern day pressures removed and were happy just to be kids - they were not looking forward to going back to their old lives - it was quite sad

and the series before going back to the 50's - also didn't want to leave and they all lost stones of weight to boot!

It isn't up to the school to teach morals and esteem, that should have been the "mother's" job. And yes, for 38 she looked old, I thought she was nearer 48! (How do they get tax credits when none of them work?)

I would hate to condemn but if one child has already had miscarriages and abortions then surely she should have twigged and pulled them all in for the big talk. Not only for the pregnancy aspect but for the STDs these 3 are probably walking about with.

If it had been my 12 year old then I would be seeking to get the person who got her pregnant jailed (or is he underage also?) What a horrendous situation.

I live in a street where the majority of families rely on benefits. I have to bite my tongue when neighbours complain how little they get. They live on more than we do, but I say nothing because I chose to be a SAHM therefore meaning we live on a budget. I don't scrounge off the state though but there really needs to be a reform of the benefit system because some people would rather be on benefits than work for a living. Hell, work is for mugs considering the money they's get on benefits! FYI one neighbour, married, two children gets £240 per week after her rent and council tax is paid for. We'd be rich on that amount!

Some very good posts on here. This is a very sad story but I think we should just remember we read it in the Sun...which will always put its own spin on it.
I don't think they got paid anything as the story was in most of the papers. As some of you know I am a journalist (in Derby in fact) and the family spoke to us too which suggests that they were not "bought up".
Also the mum didn't blame the school when she spoke to us; I suspect the original reporter said "do you think the school should do better sex ed" and she said, oooh, yes.
Not condoning a child of 12 having a baby, that seems to me a terrible thing. But at least the younger two are still at school and doing GCSEs.
Yes, I agree, they and esp the mum need to take responsibility and look to the future.
But for me the saddest thing in this (as others have said) is that the fathers seem to be nowhere to be seen.
I agree btw that the names seem laughable, but then we all know children with crazy names.

Now I know this is from the Sun

but it is alleging that the mother allowed a boy to stay overnight with her 11 old daughter

Surely there must be some kind of prosecution for aiding and abetting under age sex and child neglect, surely!

Oh ffs, what the hell is the matter with the woman?! The child wasn't old enough to watch a '12' rated video and she was letting the boyfriend sleep the night.

As others have posted they don't let their dd's of that age go our unsupervised. And this daft woman lets the law be broken under her roof, lets her child be raped and then blames the school.

It makes you feel like giving up. And if this is the way the girls have been brought up, what possible chance is there for the grand children? When will they start having sex I wonder, 8 or 9?

on GMTV right now...

Sorry but the 'Well I let her because if I didn't they would do it somewhere else' argument cuts no ide with me. By letting it happen under her roof she was condoning the stautaory rape of and 11 year old.

there comes a point with you children when you have to be the adult and say, 'no this is wrong'. It doesn't mean that the kid will not still do it but you should try ffs! And I bet that that little girl might have been greatful to say , 'well I'd like to, but my cow of a mother would kill me if I did'. A face saving 'out' of a situation she definatly wasn't emotionaly capable of dealing with.

Sorry but the 'Well I let her because if I didn't they would do it somewhere else' argument cuts no ide with me. By letting it happen under her roof she was condoning the stautaory rape of and 11 year old.

there comes a point with you children when you have to be the adult and say, 'no this is wrong'. It doesn't mean that the kid will not still do it but you should try ffs! And I bet that that little girl might have been greatful to say , 'well I'd like to, but my cow of a mother would kill me if I did'. A face saving 'out' of a situation she definatly wasn't emotionaly capable of dealing with.

Sorry but the 'Well I let her because if I didn't they would do it somewhere else' argument cuts no ide with me. By letting it happen under her roof she was condoning the stautaory rape of and 11 year old.

there comes a point with you children when you have to be the adult and say, 'no this is wrong'. It doesn't mean that the kid will not still do it but you should try ffs! And I bet that that little girl might have been greatful to say , 'well I'd like to, but my cow of a mother would kill me if I did'. A face saving 'out' of a situation she definatly wasn't emotionaly capable of dealing with.

Hell, sorry, 'puter had an odd moment!

If she knew her 11 y old was having a sexual relationship, let alone allowed it under her own roof, why the hell didn't she take any measures to prevent or educate her of the potential consequences. It just beggars belief , and then to blame the school, society, ...anyone but herself. .

Sounds like the tip of the iceberg in failing to set boundaries for her kids. I still come back wth disbelief that it happened to all 3 - could it be a case of she's got one, and probably attention and cash for it, therefore the others wanted one too - just like a Barbie doll or other trendy toy.

It is those 3rd generation kids, I feel sorry for(names aside !), what hope is there for them to make their lives any different if they are raised with such low expectations and self esteem ?

The on-line Sun from yesterday states that the 16 year old has a 36 (or was it 38?) year old Asian boyfriend who still lives at home, his parents do not know anything about the baby or the fact he has a girlfriend even....