3 sisters pg at 12, 14 and 16 - mother blames school for lack of sex education

[suzywong]

Of course it was in the Sun

I do not want to get in to the benefit angle at all, I just wonder if anyone else has any ideas about how to get the contraception message through to girls? I mean one of these kids was PG 3 times prior to this at under 16! Their mother blames the schools for not starting sex ed early enough.

What do you think?

I think the parents of the 14 yo father should be held partly responsible for the welfare of his child. Should DSs ever get a girl pregnant, I would be offering any help the mother wanted to take until he was able to support them himself.

omg ! The UK blame culture is just plain shocking- what happened to personal responsibility, why is it someone else's fault ?
Even 25 + years ago I had had school sex education at 11 so I just don't believe that they had n't received any at school by 12. Interesting that the other 2 got preganant after the birth of the first. Mum clearly didn't do a very good job of explaining the perils to them even when the consequences were all too evident.

at the Asian "boyfriend" who keeps them a secret. He is the same age as the grandma, not that she seems worried ! Wonder if the CSA are involved there or not. Should he be allowed to seem to get away with not taking responsibility for his actions and their consequences ? Isn't he guilty of under age sex offences, assuming he was the father of her previous pregnancies even if she had turned 16 by this one ?

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I could name 4 or 5 girls that I know personally. Same goes for the one with 8 kids, she is not a news story I read, I know the woman!

I'm presuming then that you live in a council area? Or that most of the people you know live in council areas? The majority of the UK is "not" a council and the MAJORITY of young girls who have babies do NOT do so to get housing - FACT!

'Hopefully we'll get a bigger house'.

Message: be irresponsible and cock up your life, be rewarded with a big house.

Be an honest, responsible citizen and get the shaft.

£31,000/pa!? F hell! Four of us will have to live on about half that! Free nursery care, my a**. DH has to work in the evenings and weekends and me during the day so someone can look after our daughter.

'It's very cramped.' Yeah, I'll bet! Try going out and getting more work so you can afford better.

People like this make me wonder why we bother struggling so much. Since when is it the state's responsibility to teach your kids some friggin' self-control?

/me hides her beenfit letters and walks away.....

I know NIKE trainers - pulllease !!!!!!!!

You can buy 'em deap cheap on our local market - probably not the 'real deal' but they look like them,

ebay rip offs?

"I don't believe there are that many accidental teen pregnancies."

I do - have lots of friends (now in their 20's and 30's) who were teen mum's. And I also know LOTS of OLDER (ie 20's and 30's) who've had accidental pg's (me included ), my cousin's 2nd was an 'accident', my best friends' 2nd child (now 13) was an accident), one of my SIL's children was unplanned, and both of my other SIL's were accidents............and I have numerous other ADULT friends who've recently had 'not planned' babies!

This is a really tricky situation, I am not sure what the answer is but something has to be done. A friend of one of my relatives is 27 and had 5 children by the time she was 23 she also has had at least 4 abortions that we know of. All of her benefit money is spent on herself (nightclubs and holidays abroad without the kids)she completely neglects her children, her 4 year old boy was seen recently wandering around the shopping precinct outside the pub where his mum was drinking and he was wearing one of his sisters dresses! I imagine because she leaves it to her kids to sort themselves out. When he was a baby she would drop him off at my cousins house (godmother) and leave him for days at a time. Numerous people have reported her to social services and the kids are on the 'at risk' register but social services seem to have so much time for her because she herself had a hard life. Too much sympathy for her IMO. Her kids will probably end up being 20 times worse.

Gwenick - but these girls weren't using contraception. Getting pregnant was no accident.

Think they ve just followed on from there mum and thought anything for an easy life. makes me sick that we end up paying for it though!!

true Beatie - in this case they weren't using contraception so in this case it WAS deliberate (but the neither was I when I concieved DS2 ).

Even the most sensible people in the world 'forget' sometimes - and many teenagers (and adults too LOL) get pg after drinking and having a one night stand (or unprotected sex - which ever way you look at it) as the alcohol got the better of them)

this website has some intersting reading on it.

I'm sorry to snigger but did you see the kids names!!!! Jeeezus!

I don't think contraception is the main issue - I think self-esteem and the worth young people put on their lives, their choices and their futures, is.
That's what makes young people choose to take responsibility with their knowledge about contraception.

Exactly - else there would be no discrepancy in the 'accidental' rates or contraception use from different socio-economic backgrounds. If that makes sense.

absolutely Beatie - that's why that website makes intersting reading

Glad I found it - been driving me potty all morning LOL

good point about self-esteem
If the 12 year old's self-esteem had been higher she would have got antenatal care from the outset and been proud of her PG and not concealed it.

12 years old, 12 years old FFS!

Gwenick - I have just read your link and I do agree that young mums should be given respect. I grew up in a single parent family and there was a stigma attached to being part of a one parent family. I am glad that stigma is going because it is not the child's fault and they most definitely deserve respect. However I do feel that because having children young and without a partner is becoming more common in certain areas that teenagers are actively choosing it as a career option. I can only speak from experience, so many of my old school friends have told me that they got pregnant because they did not like working.

Gwenick, nowhere have I said that all teenage girls get pregnant on purpose to get a house. What I said was that people don't seem to believe that there are girls who do! I know that the majority of young girls don't get pregnant for housing, they get pregnant by accident.

"What I said was that people don't seem to believe that there are girls who do!"

ermm who said that??? Most people on this thread seem to agree that it DOES happen, but only a minority do for this reason......

I agree with whoever said that self-esteem is an issue here. The school should bear some responsibility - not for the lack of sex ed, but for failing to demonstrate that there is more to life for young women than having babies at the first opportunity. And while many women get accidentally pregnant, there are accidents and accidents.

Also I have to point out that the education system has not only failed these girls, but also the Sun journalist, whose numeracy level is well below what it should be (how does 250 plus 120 a week equal 600 pounds a week? or perhaps rent for 3 bed council houses in Derby is more than I thought it was)

Gwenick, neither did I say that people on mumsnet don't seem to believe. I just said people.

Does it really matter?

oh well whatever LOL - I really should get out and do some stuff in the garden (and take my washing off the line)