Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
News
Original poster

3 sisters pg at 12, 14 and 16 - mother blames school for lack of sex education

249 replies

suzywong · 23/05/2005 05:56

Of course it was in the Sun

I do not want to get in to the benefit angle at all, I just wonder if anyone else has any ideas about how to get the contraception message through to girls? I mean one of these kids was PG 3 times prior to this at under 16! Their mother blames the schools for not starting sex ed early enough.

What do you think?

OP posts:
elsmommy · 23/05/2005 14:20

They are talking about this on loose women now

SuuzyWong · 23/05/2005 14:55

Has this thing kicked off yet?

Original poster
suzywong · 23/05/2005 14:56

Flum!!!

OP posts:
FIMAC1 · 23/05/2005 16:33

The mother should be had up for neglect - she has neglected her children morally, and socially - unfortuately we are now seeing the results the last 20 years or so of the blame free society - Mother is unprepared to to take the blame for her total lack of basic parenting skills - I feel sorry for the kids (both sets)

Fio2 · 23/05/2005 17:02

sorry havent read the thread but I went out with my Mum this morning (both relatively young mothers, both having our first kids at 21) Anyhow I said to my Mum, have you read this story? and she read it........and her first words were.....

dont they ALL look old, that will put girls off having them so young if they end up like old hags

TwoAngels · 23/05/2005 17:19

My mum started to talk to my brother and aye about sex, periods and stuff from the age of around five and carried on with more appropriate stuff still as we got older such as aids and other STD even about smears when I was about 12... she never relyed (sp?) on schools for this... I am so happy that she did, when it came to starting my do das I was actually excited with the fact that was now a "young woman" and it also taught me to respect my body as mine and not to just give it to anyone... which I think was fab and out of everything my mum has ever taught me as a child, this is the most valuable thing I will be using to teach my children IYSWIM

Fio2 · 23/05/2005 17:27

my mum just did the "make sure you dont catch AIDS talk" frightened me to bloody death

happymerryberries · 23/05/2005 18:03

SP you said

'I agree with whoever said that self-esteem is an issue here. The school should bear some responsibility - not for the lack of sex ed, but for failing to demonstrate that there is more to life for young women than having babies at the first opportunity. And while many women get accidentally pregnant, there are accidents and accidents. '

What do you think we try to do? Every lesson you try to show kids like these that there is more to life than a quick shag and Nike trainers. You get met with nothing but disrespect. I was told to fuck off only today by a 13 year old boy. the reason, I was trying to stop him ripping the shirt of another boy.

I have a collegue who has literaly spent every spare break and lunch for the last month getting children to complete the course work that makes up a vast part of their double GCSE. He was yelled at by a parent who accused him of 'harrasing' their child.

Trust me, we try. Very hard.

PotPourri · 23/05/2005 18:20

I am fed up of this blame culture. everything is someone elses fault. Why does the mum not teach them at home about sex? Surely it is not the school's job to teach children such basic things like that? The blame culture gets right up my nose these days - claim for this, claim for that, it is not your fault that you hit a brick wall - someone else shouldn't have put it there - it was nothing to do with the fact that you weren't looking at where you were driving. Honestly...

happymerryberries · 23/05/2005 18:24

I posted this a long way down the thread, but I'll be honest here and say that I don't think that it is the place of teachers to be giving kids morals.

I'm a teacher, I hope to be a good role model but I have no right to impose my moral values on the kids that I teach. For example I have no probelm with 16 year olds having protected sex before marriage. I have no right to give that message to the child of, say , a devout Catholic.

I want to teach science, not house train feral kids ffs!

And it is absolute crap to say they are not given sex ed. they are. They may not listen, but that is another thread.

JoolsToo · 23/05/2005 18:26

I agree with you hmb - that woman is looking for someone to blame - I assume she's got a mirror!

Fio2 · 23/05/2005 18:29

hmb agree totally

not trying to be snobby although it will sound it, but the mentality of my family and 'our' old and even 'new' community seems to be all for having kids ASAP.....have no fucking idea why?!

JoolsToo · 23/05/2005 18:35

F2 "no fucking" would solve the problem though

happymerryberries · 23/05/2005 18:37

If I had gor pregnant at 12 my family, Mum, Dad, Aunties and Uncles would have gone collectivly mental at me and I would have been the shame of the family. The last think my mother woudld have done was platers me on the front of the Sun, blaming the school!

I know that single mothers can be great (dh is the product of a single mum), I also know that young mothers can be great (ditto last comment). But sorry, children having children is a disaster waiting to come to fruition.

The mothers should be damn well ashamed of herself and so should the girls. We live in a time when we are blessed with multiple ways to not getting pregnant. our grandmothers would be green with envy.

Put most simply this does noy have to happen.

Girls need to have self respect.
They need to have the confidence to feel able to say no.
They have the right to be a child and not to sexualised at the age of 12.
They should have ambition and the self confidence to aim for that ambition.

And these things need to start in the home.

JoolsToo · 23/05/2005 18:41

agree, agree, agree

fifilala · 23/05/2005 18:45

agree with fio2, not just about getting pregnant but risk of other things that will also never go away! My mother would have killed me and I don't know whether that would have been after she had killed whoever did it to me!

SoupDragon · 23/05/2005 18:45

How much do you think they got for selling their story though?

Interelsting that the link to the Mirror said it was an "exclusive".

SoupDragon · 23/05/2005 18:46

"Interesting"

FIMAC1 · 23/05/2005 18:55

HMB

'They have the right to be a child and not to sexualised at the age of 12'

You are sooo right!

I was still playing with my Sindy dolls at 12, I can't even remotely fathom what my reaction to being a parent would have been - it would have not even been a remote possiblity in any way shape or form - looking back we were very lucky to have had that total innocence

happymerryberries · 23/05/2005 19:00

I feel sad for all the little girls that I teach who at 12/13 are wearing full face make up, foundadtion, blusher, eye make up, the works, to school.

They will have the rest of their adult like to worry about this sort of crap. Lets let kids be kids.

Did anyone else watch the back to the 60s secondaryy modern school programme? The kids had to do guides and scouts and althought they mocked it at first they enjoyed it by the end! Why can't kids be kids.

Lets start by stopping the 'my little slapper' out fits for 8 year olds, shall we?

milosmum · 23/05/2005 19:11

think im with most of you on this one when i say that since when is it the teachers place to teach your child morals and basic education???? im a firm believer in telling your children what is suitable for their age and certainly by the age of twelve they should know having sex without contraception can produce a child!

i really dont know how a twelve year old is expected to raise a child. thye would be more of a sister that a parent.

suedonim · 23/05/2005 19:18

The awful thing, unless this feral culture can be stopped, is that in 15yrs time, we may well be reading about Amani, T-Jay and Lita producing babies of their own.

It's about time people like this stopped thinking that the world owes them a living. It doesn't.

milosmum · 23/05/2005 19:25

it really is true that children learn from whats around them. The more children that have children and unprotected sex the more people that breeds who will do the same thing.....

all this is from years of no one dealing with the matter head on!i just wonder when it will stop! how young is too young!

i read about a case in america, a few weeks ago, where the court stopped a 12yr old having an abortion. it stated she was not mature enough to make the descion! ha, what a laugh! so they lumber her with an unwanted and unloved child!

Hulababy · 23/05/2005 19:49

These girls are to feature in a programme called Desperate Midwives, according to the bottom of the BBC story.

Frizbe · 23/05/2005 19:56

This family have just been on the local BBC news here, DH is also aghast
I would love to know why the programme is called Desperate Midwives though, (Hula any ideas?) as that was also advertised at the same time, is it due to understaffing? I had dd at Derby City and it seemed ok at the time?

Swipe left for the next trending thread