Nick Duerden in the Guardian - His wife "leaves me fully alone with my daughter for the first time" at 16 months!

[beanieb]

piece

Is this normal, for a father to not be left with their child alone until they are over a year old?

RFP - distress isn't the term you are looking for here. Scorn might fit the bill better. Sure, Nick isn't the first metropolitan man to discover that yes, on the whole, the reality of parenting can be pretty mundane. The point is he is playing up his utter ineptitude, which from his wife's posts, would appear to be at least partly assumed for effect, to make us empathise with what he CLAIMS to be some sort of epiphany about OMG how fabulous it is to be a Dad after all.
And because a lot of us on here happen to have partners who are not utter dorks and actually, you know, got that without making a big self-indulgent song and dance about it, then yes, we were unimpressed.
But not at all distressed.

I think the publisher and the wife are both, in fact, nick.

Newspapers seem to be saturated with this kind of self indulgent twaddle at the moment.

I suppose it's cheaper than employing a journalist to pick up a phone and research a feature and then and write something valuable and illuminating though.

I bet I could wang on about my two c-sections for a few thousand words if The Guardian fancies giving me a call....

tip to the publisher - if you want people to read a book, its not a good idea to publish an extract that puts potential readers off. you are meant to draw them in, not order them to read the whole thing before having an opinion.

What on earth can one say about a piece like that?

A non-story?
Maudlin?
Trite?
Badly-written?
Self-indulgent?
Shite?

What an absolute cocksniffer.

Either it's true and he should just shut up, if he can find the last vestige of self-respect left within him, or it's all bollocks and he should stop lying, because it makes baby Jesus cry - and shut up.

Wife - your husband is the unfunny version of Tom Hanks in Big, but wetter.

Publisher - you are 100% total fail. Fact - google it!

That article made me want to smash things, Family Grauniad is so lazy.

Re the "time alone" debate upthread, here's my 2 cents worth: dads are parents too, equal to mums and are just as entitled to/ responsible for time alone with their kids.

One of my work colleages does all the parenting in her relationship (and all the housework despite working full time). She always gets up in the night (because "dads just dont hear crying toddlers"). I just wish she'd give herself a break and let/make her partner be a man and get involved.

The other day her kid's nursery rang the office to say there was a burst water pipe and she left work on a manically busy day to collect her kid and go home - at no point did she even consider calling her husband to see if he could do the honours.

OK, Im done being judgey now.

reluctantfatherpublisher, if you are real how could the two female editors who HAVEN'T had children have found it 'utterly true'?
Or was that a mis-quote? Could you ask someone in the office (male or female) who HAS had children, what they think of the article please? Then I might be able to believe they found it 'utterly true'.

Blimey, this thread got even MORE weird. What next - are we going to have the repro guy on?

at 'arse gravy'

Also, as a parent of older children, I just read the Guardian nowadays and think 'Oh dear, it's another thirtysomething who has had a baby and think he's the first person EVER to have had a child' It gets very, very tedious. Just wait til they are teenagers. (Julie Myersonn springs to mind).

And another thing, EVERYONE 'falls in love' with their baby, sooner or later....it's normaL! Not some exceptional thing that needs to be written about.

OK rant over.

And I do realise it is Myerson not Myersonn. Was a typing error. Grrr.

reluctantfatherpublisher I am leaving my 9 month old with my DH in 6 weeks time for a week, any chance he could get a couple of hundred quid for writing about it? The only problem I can see is that he knows he loves our son already.

The article was OK (if you disregard the annoying Guardiany details that kept popping up, like that they had a Japanese takeaway because they are more sophisticated than the rest´of us with our mere Indian and Chinese meals). I agree with the posters who say it's not original (although I am happy for Nick Duerden that he has experienced fatherhood and found it wonderful).

I think it will be appreciated by a very small number of childless, middle class Guardian reading people, probably very similar to the editors who thought it was marvellous.

It is a great pity that publishers arent represented by, shall we say, people from more varied backgrounds. Then, in the fiction area for example, we might see fewer Lovely Bones and Life of Pis and Alchemists. My profile: early 40s, Oxford educated, spends money on books. I will never buy these kind of books because they are twaddle.

Oranges puts it very well. If an article published in a supposedly quality paper can't stand up on its own, then it's got no place in the paper. Simple as.

There should be a difference between adverts and journalism. And even an advert is only good if it works.

Oooo, I'll be rushing out to buy that book after that article [hmmm]

"great dilemma of modern man"

pmsl!

Is that getting pissed v. looking after your own offspring?!

So just to let y'all know that Nick Duerden himself is joining us at 12.30pm to discuss his article/book and respond to your insults comments (iPod volume and puddles of fear being some of the kinder ones ).

Excellent...

[Tents fingers]

God, he's a brave lad, I'll give him that!
[nest of vipers emoticon]
Sadly I shall be collecting ds at lunchtime, but I look forward to reading his defence comments this evening.

Brave man!

blimey!

Nick, do you read the Family Guardian yourself? If so, what's your opinion of it? A lot of us on here (including loyal Grauniad readers) think it's patronising, myopic bollocks (which is one reason why your contribution got such a kicking I think - pent-up aggression at the whole section).