Nick Duerden in the Guardian - His wife "leaves me fully alone with my daughter for the first time" at 16 months!

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Is this normal, for a father to not be left with their child alone until they are over a year old?

MollieO - poor you and DS. My ex-P could have written the Nick Duerden article, and I think that is what irritates me. That it becomes a "journey of self-discovery" for the man without any recognition of the pain caused.

nonparent - if you are still here??

I had a quick look at some child free forums and it seems to me they spend much time talking about kids - whether it's kids behaving badly in public, or parents who think that because they have kids they are above the law, or places that kids shouldn't be allowed in...

It strikes me that if you are childfree by choice - why would you want to bang on about kids all the time - in whatever guise? Isn't that just a tad well - boring???

You should stick around here. You sound as if you have the stamina and the wit for it. Current hot topics we are debating include The Outlawing of Burlesque Dancing in Camden, Kirstie's Homemade Home, and How to Give the Perfect Blow Job....

Never a dull moment, honestly....

There are lots of people who don't have children on mumsnet.

And lots of people like me on MN, who come here to get away from parenthood and talk about unrelated stuff.

Lots?

Sorry that sounds all sarcastic and weird. Didn't mean it to. Are there lots?

dustbuster ds's dad had a child from a previous relationship and vascillated between not wanting another to being really keen and interested, especially once he knew ds was going to be a ds rather than a dd. Unfortunately he didn't cope at all with ds being a premmie and I didn't have the time nor inclination to deal with him and ds. I think singleparenthood is really hard most of the time but the best thing about it is everything ds has become is completely down to me and the way I've raised him and that makes me very proud indeed.

I think it is a shame that in today's society a man who takes even the slightest interest (and writes a book about it) is deemed to be a good father whereas if a woman doesn't put her children first 100% of the time she is viewed a being a bad parent.

It will be like the schoolkids OZ issue

Ready for another lawsuit Justine?

Hear hear MollieO! (Your second paragraph I mean.) My MIL used to go on about HOW LUCKY I was to have XP around 'helping'. Even he look embarrassed and said 'well actually I'm not doing that much'.

I know what you mean about not having the time to deal with a child and a recalcitrant man. That is exactly how I felt -looking after a child, working FT, doing all the housework, DIY and garden doesn't really leave you that much time for worrying about your partner's life crisis!

(Sorry to everyone else on this thread for puncturing the jolly tone - am enjoying it!)

And maybe we can squeeze in CockLodger, from Grumpymoo's thread?

Some of us have been holding the fort manfully I feel and so the old gimmers can feck off.

I gave birth to our second child six months after we had moved 350 miles because of my dh's job.

He was at the (night-time) birth, but left shortly afterwards to go to work and didn't come to see me until the very end of the day. He told DS1 that the baby hadn't been born, so that DS1 would go off to nursery without wanting to go to the hospital.

He didn't tell me those were his plans so I spent the whole day in hospital expecting DH and DS1 to show up. I had no other visitors, because of being new to area and family being so far.

He didn't take any time off work, although he could have.

He didn't have the childen for as much as 36 hours at a stretch until they were 10 and 7 years old.

That is monumentally crap Robespierre. You poor thing.

Do you think it is. I really wasn't sure. I thought maybe I was being unfair on him. It made me feel awful though.

Am absolutely furious for you, Robespierre. What a shitty way to behave. I can't begin to imagine how awful it must have been waiting all day with your new baby.

Maybe MN should just have its own Saturday Guardian thread and we could all write badly spelt and inappropriately worded articles. We could also have a Saturday Telegraph thread about how our family survives eating home made lentil soup on a weekly budget of £1000.

Should add that I admire Robespierre for effectively coping as a single parent whilst being married. What awful behaviour from your dh.

Yes it is monumentally crap. I remember how horrible it was just being left alone after giving birth when visiting hours finished shortly shortly after I got up to the ward. To not come during visiting hours when you were expecting to see him and your ds is just unbelievable. It must have been absolutely dreadful. I'm so sorry.

Still, I expect it's making Nick D feel better about himself.

Thanks, Iorek, mollie, dust.

Robespierre - That is terrible. Exactly like being a single parent but without any of its many benefits. Has he improved?