Girl, 2, drowned in her buggy after father let go to kiss mistress

[mrshamiltiongiles]

here

what a bastard

Nope, stager, if you read the thread there are plenty of posts that not only suggest that but also spell it out.

This guy just reminds me of that demotivational posture with a picture of a sinking ship and underneath the caption, 'Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others'.

On a totally "wrong" note for which I apologise - is the mistress in fancy dress in that picture?

Yes, she is.

In that case expat shouldn't we be feeling a bit more sympathetic?

Um, why? He fucked up by stopping to snog the girlfriend. The girl died. That much we know is true.

It's sad, yes, but why feel any more sympathy for him than his poor wife?

If people don't want to feel sympathy for him, big deal.

Meh.

Some people don't have a sympathy ration. They can feel sorry for more than one person. And it's also possible to think, "Crikey, how dangerous" while still feeling that it must be awful for the man involved.

Well, good for them, nfk.

I don't diss them. So why diss others who don't feel the way they do?

I agree nkf.

A family has lost a child. They must be devastated. Personally I fail to see how any rational human being can feel anything other than sympathy for the parents.

I wasn't "dissing" you. What an odd word to use. It's just the debate reminded me of so many other threads where people get caught up in who deserves most sympathy or who has forfeited the right to sympathy. Dissing indeed. At my age.

crikey how dangerous AND what a sod for having an affair AND what a sod for taking his kids with him so they can watch him conduct it.

those aren't the actions of a good guy, imo. hence the reason why it's relevant to the newspapers (and by extension their readers) that he has a mistress - which is where i came in on this discussion. and why his being separated - or not, are the papers still running that? - from his wife is relevant to my position on the subject.

btw sgb, re your monogamy rant. surely even people in an open relationship tend to have rules that they keep to, such as don't involve the kids, no sneaking around, keep everything above board etc? if not, surely that's just an everyday shitty relationship?

All those things. Awful thing to do. Awful thing to happen. I don't know how people go on living afterwards.

I don't think its dissing expat just disagreeing.
I'm not sure anyone has said that they feel more sympathy for him than his wife have they? I'm just a bleeding heart and feel very sorry for all concerned

do you really, violet? really really?

so your husband goes out with the kids and rather than taking them to the park for the afternoon takes them to meet his new woman (one who it does seem you know nothing about) and canoodles with her in front of them? and then one of them dies because he had his back turned to kiss the woman who he was cheating on you with?

you'd not get a wee surge of hatred thinking that if he hadn't been fucking around on you the whole thing wouldn't have happened?

see, i find that weird tbh.

vis a vis the disagreeing, there have been some very snooty comments from the 'bleeding hearts' as to the intelligence, the fucked-upness about men and general black-heartedness of anyone who disagrees with them.

You clearly have trouble accepting other people's pov aitch. Yes, really. I really do feel enormous sympathy for any parent who loses a child, unless they have intentionally killed that child.

Your diatribe about 'what if your husband went off with some woman blah blah blah' is pretty irrelevant, because I am not talking about how I might feel if some tragedy befell my family. I am saying that as an outsider, not knowing all the facts, I can only feel aympathy. It strikes me that far too many people have a really unhealthy interest in speculating about all the unknown elements of this event. There's definitely transference of people's own issues going on here.

no there isn't, that's so boring and ill-mannered of you to repeat that. to the best of my knowledge no-one has ever been unfaithful to me and i have never been unfaithful to anyone. nor was my mum, dad or anyone i am close to unfaithful, again to my knowledge. i just don't run in those circles, tbh.

and i don't think that the consensus is that people are choosing one 'side' over the other, i'm perfectly capable of feeling pity for both. just SOOOOOOO much more for the mother than that father, who did careless and cruel things and will blame himself for the death of his child for the rest of his life. as he should.

Oh please aitch. You called me a twat so lets not get too precious about the way others are conducting their arguments.

p.s hope you were joking!

I didn't suggest anyone had been unfaithful to you Aitch. I don't know you. Neither do I know the family involved in this tragedy. Which is why I just feel total sympathy for both the parents who presumably feel equal devastation at losing their child. If some people get off on feeling less sympathy for one parent, then I find that very strange. My comment about transference was a general one (which is why I didn't direct it at you Aitch, although you seem to have taken it personally). The venom on this thread suggests that for some people at least, this event is raising emotions which have nothing to do with the actual family involved.

"It strikes me that far too many people have a really unhealthy interest in speculating about all the unknown elements of this event."

there really hasn't been much in the way of lurid speculation on this thread, either. there was a discussion about the media and why of course it's relevant that he was having an affair, there were a few people saying what a sod he was for taking his kids on an affair date, some saying that they'd not let go of their kids' buggies near a sheer drop/the sea etc. and every time the discussion becomes more reflective and interesting, up pops some pompous asshole to remind us all how good they are at not getting drawn into these things while stirring the pot, and encouraging people to answer them by insulting them.

is your hide button not working? or do you have some unhealthy interest in telling people they have an unhealthy interest?

Oh, Violet, it would seem that the Daily Mail is to blame again.

Is that the best you have to contribute to the discussion?

I agree that the mistress angle is a distraction, in some respects. And in other respects, I agree with those who say that a natural mother would not have taken her hands off the pram handle.

Indeed, I don't think I would take a small child to that spot at all, tbh. I guess they chose somewhere where they wouldn't be seen.

Folks can do foolish things. What more can be said?

i was totally joking, staggerlee, hence the ... the traditional indicators of someone joking on MN. you twat.

Ah, nothing like a little armchair psychology to spice up crap TV on a Saturday night .

Especially now I've heard Take That!'s new single (which is pretty catchy ).

violet... you seem to have an understanding of written english, but i will allow that you were speaking to me directly in the first sentence of that paragraph but were talking about someone else entirely in the second. yep, deffo.

aitch, i do exactly feel like you. how terrible way to loose your own child. so sad