Girl, 2, drowned in her buggy after father let go to kiss mistress

[mrshamiltiongiles]

here

what a bastard

their not there

There have been a number of cases of buggies rolling away into water in Australia in recent years too

It seems to be buggies with big wheels (3 wheelers generally) that can just roll so much faster than the little wheels.

Something to be aware if I think, for those of us with big wheeled buggies. What a terrible story

Aitch - that is my position too. I certainly don't wish to 'vilify' a bereaved parent and I agree with SGB that there is a temptation to blame people for accidents where no one is to blame. In this case though the accident occurred because he was somewhere he shouldn't have been, doing something he shouldn't have been doing. I am judging him for having an affair because I feel that the affair contributed to the tragedy. Interestingly (to me) both my husband amd my work colleague who I've discussed it with disagree with me and say an accident is an accident whatever - I just don't agree with that and that's a strange position for me as I am usually firmly in the 'shit happens' camp.

I suppose I feel that it's up to his poor wife and those close to them to decide whether to regard it as an accident or be calling him every name under the sun in private- I don't feel it's my business.

I think for me it matters not one jot what I think - this poor man will be beating himself up every day for what happened whether I think it's his fault or not. What's really sad is that these poor parents have got to deal with both the tragedy of losing their daughter and the feeling that the whole world is watching and judging them, their behaviour and their marriage.

I think it's really common for wives to feel a sense of shame when their husband cheats, especially if other people know about it - the old 'am I so awful he had to look elsewhere' feeling - imagine how much worse it must be to have that AND for the whole world to think that the man you loved was not only unfaithful but also negligent of your children. I'd want to crawl into a cave and hide.

I can't imagine how a marriage could come back from something on this scale, and I know if I was the wife I would find it really hard not to blame the husband and his affair for what happened, even if I accepted that it was an accident.

Our opinion is frankly irrelevant. Poor poor people.

well, i'm not on here vilifying him, i should stress, but privately i am less sympathetic than i would tend to be if a man loses his child in an accident.
but i am on here talking about him, so i clearly am taking a prurient interest (as is everyone on here... if you really think that it's no-one's business etc, hide the thread).
i suppose i find all this sniffy 'don't judge' stuff on here (about whatever) a bit hollow. we all judge. sometimes, as now, our judgements might surprise us in their harshness.
the root, for me, is probably the fear of opening the front door and seeing the policeman standing there with his hat off. add to that the idea that you'd receive the extra kick of your dh having an affair and it being in some way as a result of him kissing his girlfriend... well, the mind boggles really.

Pramspotter, I live near an extremely busy road. At least as dangerous as a drop into the sea. And yes, children have been killed. Yet I frequently see mums walking along with children who are not being restrained properly.

Should I assume that they are all hiding affairs?

No Cory but you should assume that they are crazy.

You are missing the point however. If he hadn't been having an affair than his little girl would not have died that day.

I do understand that accidents happen to good parents and I also understand that one doesn't need to be having an affair to do something stupid as a parent.

But in this individual case, the parent did something stupid as a result of an affair.

I completely agree with Aitch.

Pramspotter. Unless you are a mind reader or unless you were there you frankly don't know what happened and why. What bullshit to assume someone doesn't care about his kids because hes involved with another woman.

But don't let that stop you speculating and judging if that floats your boat.I think this guy is suffering-shame its just not enough for some people but that says a lot about them. Just plain nasty

what's interesting about that post, staggerlee, is that it's a bit nasty and judgemental in itself.

oh that makes a big difference to me, tbh, if the wife and him were separated. huge.

I can't bear the fact that there seems to be a suggestion that he's in some way to blame because he kissed his "mistress".

It was a tragic accident. It could have happened to anyone of us on a similar seaside trip. He could have been bending to pick up her juice cup, or a dropped teddy bear. Christ - we have no idea truly of this man's circumstances. The issue of his infidelity (or perhaps not now it seems?) is a completely separate issue.

What a bastard? I don't think so - what bitches to make that kind of judgement.

I feel so sorry for this family. I think the 'mistress' is irrevelant. No one knows he hasn't taken the kids to that same place before with his wife. Also no one knows that it wouldn't have happened if he had stopped to kiss his wife.

my god, sycamore, what a bitch you are to come on and call people bitches... etc... [never-ending]

What a horrible story for everyone involved

I cannot, AT ALL, understand your comment Aitch, and so goodbye.

The OP called a man whose child has DROWNED that he was a BASTARD. Is THIS what we have come to?

Now get off moralising at me - I am INFRURIATED by your post. [anger]

I don't think any of this "outrage" would mean much to the man concerned TBH, he has enough on his plate , personally I wouldn't be getting "infuriated" about it, it doesn't do you any good you know, seriously.

Ah, baby, I get it. When I see these mothers taking their eyes off their offspring I should first try to gauge the value of their conversation before I decide
how to view their (lack of) action. If they are holding fort about the merits of baby-led weaning, then they are good and responsible parents and any misfortune befalling their offspring will be a tragic accident. If they are indulging in ill-natured gossip about their neighbours, then it will be their fault if something happens, because they shouldn't have been doing that.

Isn't life nice and easy?

Funnily enough, it's not many days since we had a post on MN saying more or less "my little girl ran out into the road". Did we all then unite to tell the poster that she must be crazy? No, I thought not.

Beg Baby's pardon; should have said Pramspotter.

Fanjo - I'm infruriated at Aitch's comment directed towards me. Which is irritating in the extreme. I don't need policing thanks. I have NEVER called anyone a bitch in all my time on MN, and I think it was COMPLETELY justified in relation to the OP on this occasion, and all those that have cried HEAR HEAR to her accusation of Bastard.

I don't use a word like that lightly, so I utterly resent being called up for it.