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Original poster

Girl, 2, drowned in her buggy after father let go to kiss mistress

557 replies

mrshamiltiongiles · 18/02/2009 22:14

here

what a bastard

OP posts:
staggerlee · 19/02/2009 18:47

Its clearly not enough for some that this man has lost his daughter. How people can think that his personal life and morality have caused this horrible event is beyond me. But hey why not give him a good kicking anyway!

donnie · 19/02/2009 18:52

yes quite. Off with his head.

BananaSkin · 19/02/2009 21:24

'How people can think that his personal life and morality have caused this horrible event is beyond me' - eh?? I am full of sympathy for this man and for his family. Whatever the circumstances, the event is terrible and one that he will never get over and there for the grace of God ...

But, it is his personal life that caused it, sadly. Fact. If he wasn't there with his mistress, kissing her, it wouldn't have happened. I don't think that anyone is saying that he deserved it, just that had he not been having and affair and there with her, it wouldn't have happened.

mamadiva · 19/02/2009 21:46

I have'nt read this whole thread infact only read this page but WTF???

I read the article a few days ago, what difference does it make what he was doing when it happened? It was'nt like he left the buggy sitting with the kids in it?

He let go for a minute or 2 yes okay took is his mistress which is obviously not an ideal situation to have the kids in the first place but it hardly makes him a feckin bastard does it? People are making out like he might as well have killed taht little girl himself it was an accident as a result of a mindless act that we have probably done a milion time before, not the mistress bit obv but letting go of the pushchair I do it all the time and I don't give it a second thought.

Some people need to wake up and realise that this family have just lost one of their children stop being so har on them and concentrate on teh people who actually deserve to be calle bastards...

Pristina · 19/02/2009 21:46

I mainly feel sorry (inadequate word) for the little girl and her mother.

But I also feel sorry for the father. No one can judge what goes on inside other peoples' relationships. He made a dreadful mistake and he will pay the price for the rest of his life.

MsHighwater · 19/02/2009 21:50

BananaSkin, it didn't happen because he was there with his "mistress". It happened while he was with his "mistress". It's not the same thing.

I don't think anyone can argue (rationally) that the woman being his "mistress" and the pram going into the sea are cause and effect.

His wife is entitled to hold him responsible. With what little we know about the circumstances, we are not.

mamadiva · 19/02/2009 21:56

If my mum had'nt gone out one night she would'nt have been seriously sexually assaulted

If I had'nt of been out with my partner one day I would'nt have been shot in a fecking park

'If's' don't cut it with me I'm afraid there was no way of knowing these things would happen, have you never done anything that has unintentionally caused hurt to someone? Maybe not to this scale but at the end of the day it's a mistake tha man will live with for the rest of his life.

BananaSkin · 19/02/2009 22:37

Yeah, I don't need a lesson in cause and effect thanks MsHighhorsewater.

The buggy went over because of a high wind and had he not been kissing his mistress, he would most likely have been holding on to it.

Anyhow, this is detracting from sentiments. As I said, I feel dreadfully sorry for all of them, including the father.

violethill · 19/02/2009 22:54

'The buggy went over because of a high wind and had he not been kissing his mistress, he would most likely have been holding on to it.'

Christ. How the hell do any of us know whether he would 'most likely' be holding onto it.

There are some really nasty judgemental people on MN

BananaSkin · 19/02/2009 23:10

I have simply said in this thread that I would be furious if my DH took my children out with a mistress without my knowledge and that had he not been taking her there it probably wouldn't have happened. That's not judging him, it's stating a fact. It's not being nasty, it's stating a fact. How could it possibly have happened had he not been there.

I have also said that I feel incredibly sorry for all of them.

'There are some really nasty judgemental people on MN' slightly ironic comment don't you think?

violethill · 19/02/2009 23:16

So if he'd been there on his own it wouldn't have happened?

If he'd been there with his wife it wouldn't have happened?

If he'd been there with a mate it wouldn't have happened?

FGS, the gutterpress just love the idea that the guy was with his 'mistress'- it turns a tragedy into something salacious. And sadly some people just get drawn into that, which is why tabloid shit sells.

Why not turn it around and say, 'If the mother hadn't been at home/watching telly/shopping/having a hairdo or wherever the hell she was, it wouldn't have happened'??

See? - Pointless exercise.

wintera · 19/02/2009 23:32

Although I agree with many of you that this is quite a nasty piece about a terrible tragedy, I do think it is a bit much to take your kids with you when you have a meeting with your mistress. And to then kiss her while they are there as well!

However, I like many of you feel a great deal of sympathy for him too. I cannot imagine what he and his wife must be feeling at this terrible time, it is truly heartbreaking.

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 19/02/2009 23:35

Another good stupid-people indicator is the frenzied rush to blame someone for accidents. Because stupid people think that as long as they can find someone to blame for accidents, then as long as they are Good and Pure and Not Naughty, nothing bad will ever happen to them or their loved ones.
Shit happens, basically. Nearly every parent has taken his/her eye off the ball at some point, whether for Pure Unselfish reasons (ministering to other DC who had just fallen downstairs, finding purse to donate money to charitable collector on doorstep) or Wicked Evil Selfish ones (looking at the job adverts in the local paper, taking a crap without leaving the door wide open) and had a child hurt itself or very nearly hurt itself badly. Most people survive moments of parental distraction. Now and again they don't, and that;s awful - but all the moralistic squawking is just irrelevant bullshit.

staggerlee · 19/02/2009 23:38

Bananaskin

Your not stating any 'facts' unless of course you were there and saw what happened. If you truly feel sorry for this family why not stop judging them. And you clearly do need lessons in cause and effect and some in empathy too

KerryMumbles · 19/02/2009 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsHighwater · 19/02/2009 23:53

KerryMumbles, your increasingly strident posts are not contributing much to the debate. You are firmly in the realms of fantasy when you state that he didn't notice. Where did it say he didn't notice?

He did jump in, after all. And so did the woman. It sounded to me like it came close to all four of them drowning. Perhaps you think that's no more than they deserve, though.

staggerlee · 19/02/2009 23:54

what a charming intelligent comment kerry

KerryMumbles · 20/02/2009 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pramspotter · 20/02/2009 07:35

Accidents can happen to anyone but this one wouldn't have happened if this father hadn't been out with his bit on the side.

My take is that he proved he doesn't care about his kids by having an affair. I would have called him a shit parent before the pushchair went into the sea.

LucyEllensmummy · 20/02/2009 08:34

Oooh, you lot like to twist the knife don't you - a horrible side of human nature, and in parents too .

When i heard the news, it made me feel sick - because i thought - OMG, that could happen SO easily, it could have been me.

Terrible tragedy and so very sad - but your fecking claws away and go and read the daily mail.

electra · 20/02/2009 08:45

Haven't read the whole thread but what a horrid piece of propaganda - shame on you for falling for it, OP!

AitchTwoOh · 20/02/2009 09:26

i consider myself a pretty moderate person, tbh, and yet as i say, i amn't hugely sympathetic to the 'it could've happened to any of us' line. it didn't. it happened to the guy who took his kids on a date with his girlfriend and then kissed her in front of them.

that's why i'm judging him harshly, because those were the circumstances.

if he'd been out with his wife and tying his shoelaces... different circumstances. so i'd have a different take on the matter.

TotalChaos · 20/02/2009 09:31

I agree with SGB. Am surprised so many people have the stomach to vilify a bereaved father.

AitchTwoOh · 20/02/2009 09:33

for me, i think it springs from the abject horror of imagining myself in his wife's shoes for a second.

pramspotter · 20/02/2009 09:35

Remember that they were in a relatively secluded place that most people would probably consider too dangerous to walk with a pushchair. I wouldn't go near a place like that with a pushchair and if I did, my hands would be glued to the thing. Only an idiot would start kissing on a cliff, near the sea when they have 2 little ones in a pushchair.

They intentionally took those kids to a secluded relatively dangerous place like that because they wanted to spend time together in a place where probably not a lot of people would see them. They are both married and having an affair. It's not like they could take the kids to the town centre for the day.

If he was having a day out with his wife he wouldn't have worried about being caught and they probably would have been somewhere safer. Take the affair bit out of the situation and they would have gone somewhere that was less dangerous.

Do people really take there kids for walks in places like that? I may take them to the seaside but not anywhere near a place like that with slopes into the water. But then I am not trying to hide an affair either.