what do you think? was the resturant right?

[2shoes]

or is it discrimination

I now await being asked to not take dd to places incase she puts people off their food.

maybe she values her independence how would it make it more acceptable if she had a companion

the same people would still be rewvolted

Greyriverside I have never taken ds1 to the cinema. I know he would love it, but I know he would shout.

Up until recently I have chosen other people's convenience over my son's experiences of life. So he's never been to the cinema, he's never been on a plane and for a long time he didn't go near a meal out.

Then I began to wonder whether this was fair on him. He seems to upset people even in his own home (and entire family stopped in the street and gawped today because he was shouting at an upstairs family- looking to locate the source of the noise- OK- acceptable- staring at him in his own home as if he's something unpleasant - not acceptable). Why should he miss out on things just because other people can't cope for a couple of hours with a learning disability.

Then I read this book- A Real Boy written by the father of a child very like ds1. He had wrestled with the same things as us and came up with this:

"Nicky and I had resolved a long time ago that David was going to be included, and that anyone who didn't like that could stay at home with their curtains drawn."

And I've started to employ that approach. After all if I don't I become my son's jailor. His disability robs him of many experiences. I see no reason for him to become a prisoner in his own home.

upstairs window

foxymolly - I'm the most entertaining company I know. I'm like your "who would you have in your top 10 fantasy dinner party guest" line up

different, I'm not sure if she needs assistance.
She can walk to the restaurant atm (so probably doesn't need help getting into/out of a chair.
She can feed herself, but makes a mess...so what, so do children. Are they banned from this particular restaurant?
She spills her coffee. I have to say this confuses my, why is she walking about with her coffee? All the restaurant manager needs to do is to ask her politely not to walk around with her coffee, or offer to carry it for her.

Everything our own way?

I just graduated, Id love to do the MA I was offered- I'm not going to get to afaics

I'd love to go abroad with the kids, I'm not going to get to- they cannot cope with planes

I'd love to be able to leave ds1 in school all day, right now I'm not going to get to- he cant cope

I'd love to have a conversation with ds3, don't think i'm ever going to get to

I'd be even happy just going to the cinema- would love to see Mamma mia- not going to get to

Everything my own way? really? . There's very little goes our own way, everything has to give at some point.
At least partly because I dont want to be a pita- I wouldnt take ds3 to a cinema until he can understand the rules, I lost our respite because I didnt feel the other kids there would be safe from DS1 so put them at a priority......

is having a meal in public really so much to ask? Its not as if im saying others cant go there- just perhaps they could look the other way if they need to!

"If the person was (through no fault of her own) acting in a manner that would put other people off their food then it was a selfish act to go there in the first place."

Now you see I'd rather not share my restaurant space with the type of person who was ignorant enough to think they should be complaining about a disabled person eating with difficulty.

Sharing restaurant space with someone with Huntingdon's would put me off my food less than sharing with some ignorant twat neurotypical person.

As ever jimjams put it so much better- drat you, you eloquent person

This thread is yet another example of the damage that can be done by the sensationalist and biggoted reporting in the Daily Mail. Words like "spitting" and articles about disability with no attempt to expalin the context.

Why do people read this paper and worse still why do they link to it?

This probably only made the news because she has celeb connections. My friend who has a daughter with Rett Syndrome was asked to leave a restaurant in Llandudno because the 4 year old disabled girl was "putting people off the restaurant".

That's the saddest thing GivePeas - this happens too often.

Somewhere on SN there's a thread where a hotel bar/restaurant customer complained about a child with autism - the owner basically told them they could leave if they didn't like the other clientele.

She can walk at the moment. She can feed herself at the moment. She has issues with confusion by the sounds of it- walking around with a full coffee cup is something many people do in their own homes.
If she were to choose a companion now, whilst she is still fairly mentally competent, she could choose someone who will stick up for her, because they want to- not because it's a job. She could choose someone who will be able to understand what she says and then relay that information accurately when she is not able to make herself understood to many people.
More importantly, if she chooses someone herself, she could feel fairly secure in trusting that person.
My comments were only to show that she could remain relatively independant for longer, if there was a safety net.

artichokes if you read the thread you will see expat linked to another report.
but of course lets blame the mail. much easier.

well i think bearing in mind people lurk that talking about these things is good

even if it does stem from the dm

yes she is probbably newsworthy

and she has possibly the confidence of her experience

but it doesnt lessen her embarrassment im sure

oh that didn't quite match, because the owner was a decent sort- it was just the bit about other customer's complaining.

I remember being in a queue behind a young person with Learning difficulties in Virgin once. His carer stood nearby and allowed him to make the transaction independently. The girl serving him was vile. She sneered at him, threw the change at him and raised her eyes to me. I was shocked.

I complained about her verbally to the manager and sent a letter of complaint once I reached home.

i think thats why they liked my shop jimjams

but i find it hard to understand why people cant just count out all the pennies or chat

yes its a different transaction but different not qualativewly worse

in fact often nicer

Give me a room full of people with LD's anyday zippi,

There's a lovely shop where I sometimes take ds1 for a walk. He always wants to go in and then grabs apples and smarties. The woman who runs it is silly over him. She always says how much she likes seeing him. (We go about once every 4 months!)

There's a man we call the apple man who delivers fruit and veg to the elderly lady next door. He always gives ds1 an apple and never lets us pay for it.

The best thing about having a child with LD's is you do get to find the nice people in a crowd quickly.

so true jimjams. I have met some really nice people because they have been nice to dd.

'This probably only made the news because she has celeb connections.'

In that case I'm glad she gave her permission to use her name and photo and used whatever celebrity status she has to bring attention to her. I'm sure she found this a very upsetting, saddening and humiliating experience. Being an educated person, she knew they were going to interview the owner or try to contact him and see what he had to say, and that the effects of her condition would therefore be there to read in print, no matter how humiliating she must find them.

And maybe, just maybe, she thought, 'Let's bring attention to this because I'm not the only one here who has to deal with ignorance like this,'

How selfish is that?

I agree, it takes a lot of courage to speak up, especially if you have different needs.

exactly expat

We judge everyone by their reaction to ds1 now.

There are bits of this thread that make me physically sick and I can't even bear to think about my own lovely dd being banned from a restaurant or not being able to get her nails painted because of some ignorant fucks.

There are bits of this thread that make me physically sick and I can't even bear to think about my own lovely dd being banned from a restaurant or not being able to get her nails painted because of some ignorant fucks.

2Shoes - it was expat's link that helped Molly change her mind. It was the dm that misled her. Hwvr I acknowledge the prob is much deeper than one media outlet.

nails painted- went to a great new kids only hairdressers / nail salon today where ds1 and ds3 were treated really well, she said if they get a severely sn kid they come in(for no extra) outside normal hours so they can guarantee there will be no additional stresses hor the child (eg customers I guess!)

lots of sn safe toys too

will be going there again