Grandma responsible for death of 2nd Grandchild

[JustAskingThisQ]

https://www.wdhn.com/news/florida-grandmother-who-left-infant-in-hot-car-found-not-guilty-of-manslaughter/

I'm just watching this trial on YouTube and thought I'd look it up properly. This child, Uriel, was 7 months old and she left her in a hot car. Previously, she was looking after a toddler grandchild (same daughter's child) who slipped away while she was asleep and drowned.

I'm just gobsmacked.

I remember reading the statistic that children are more likely to drown when not in the care of their parents, for example grandparents:

https://www.redbridgescp.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/CDOP-Newsletter-Issue-1-Parents.pdf (Bottom of page 3).

I completely disagree with the "it could happen to anyone" mantra. Even when the caretakers aren't charged with a crime, it's usually obvious that they were extremely careless and negligent. In a few cases, police investigation even found that the poor child was intentionally murdered. The parents thought they would get away with it as they'd read news stories about other parents who weren't charged.

Here's a recent case that many found particularly vile:
https://www.wsfa.com/2024/08/15/video-shows-father-who-allegedly-got-distracted-playing-video-games-realizing-he-left-his-daughter-hot-suv/

"Text messages between the two show his wife has told him several times before not to leave the kids in the car, according to authorities."

"One of the children said their father left them in the SUV at least 59 times and got distracted playing a video game on his PlayStation when the 2-year-old was left in the vehicle, according to court documents."

Absolute nonsense. It is not “profoundly British” to be crass and insensitive over child death.

This is so terrible. Imagine your life and your family’s lives ending up like this. How utterly tragic.

You can’t sleep while you’re supposed to be babysitting a 16 month year old.

If it had been at night and the child had somehow managed to get out of a locked house while everyone else was asleep - ok, that would have been very unfortunate.

But - to sleep on the job - that’s negligence.

Yes, I can see how this would happen. It reminds me of the tv programme Servant. A mum is exhausted in the evening and goes to bed and it turns out she left her baby overnight in the car, and baby died of hypothermia, leaving her devastated.

This is awful. So many unbearable things happen.

I’m really glad that the brilliant Washington Post on article on children being left in cars has been posted. Thanks @FindusMakesPancakes . It’s a tough read, but really important for any parent of a young child who drives (as the article points out, it doesn’t even need to be that hot outside for it to happen).

The writer explains the neuroscience really well, and I think everyone can think of a moment when their “lower brain” has taken them on autopilot while their “upper brain” has been distracted by stress or tiredness. I did it last year when there were redundancies happening at work; I cycled straight home from the office, completely forgetting to collect DD from her after-school club. For me, the only consequence was a grumpy 10 yo and TA who had been kept waiting, but it was my brain malfunctioning in the same way as the tragic parents in the article.

Teaching the children to turn on their back and float comes before the swimming though even then a child can tire from swimming or paddling on the spot if they’re in trouble but turning on their back and floating is a great thing to be able to do.

I thought I read that the child had woken up from a nap, but maybe I'm wrong. I wouldn't have gone to sleep while they were awake, but I definitely napped when mine napped at that age. The difference is the house was secure and the child was in the room with me. They couldn't just wander around the house, let alone leave the house and fall into a pool.

@MrsFrumble as a very new young mum my mum left me outside the co-op in my pram and it was only when she arrived back at my grans and my gran said where’s the baby that she realised. Thankfully it was just a two minute walk away and when they were both running back to the co-op one of the staff they knew very well was on her way to my grans house with me.

I think there is something very very wrong with the Grandmother here. I don’t even sleep when my own children nap if they aren’t securely in their crib, I would never ever do it whilst watching someone else’s and as she isn’t the parent it’s not like she is exhausted from having 24:7 childcare responsibilities. The fact she was out for lunch with the baby makes me really skeptical of her story.

Charging parents whose children die in hot cars is murky in the U.S. There was a recent case of an Arizona family who took their small baby out boating during a heat advisory and of course the baby died of heat exposure. Now they should have been charged with negligence, but you see really quickly how it gets really gray zone. The father in that case was a cop which is I expect why they didn’t face charges.

Yes. I have concerns about 2/4 grandparents, but unfortunately they're one each either side, and I'm not 100% confident that the other grandparent would be suitably cautious about their spouse (MIL and my dad are trustworthy, FIL and my mum are not).

For example, I left my 9 month old crawling son in my parent's house with my mum whilst I nipped to the loo. Came back to find him sitting alone in a room with four open doors off it off to other unsafe areas. She'd fucked off for no important reason, and didn't return for another 10m, no idea I'd come back to him.

And at the ILs, FIL gets stuck into jobs, especially in the garden. Also gets very fixated on what he wants to do, and even if a room of people are all saying, "no" or "stop the baby getting at the knife" etc he'll almost pig-headedly keep doing the thing he's doing before attending to my son.

Trouble is, I don't think my dad or MIL would think that they'd be a risk.

As a member of the police force he should have been made an example of imo.

In the first death, the 16 mth old supposedly woke up, opened doors and crawled under a fence to get to the pool.
Doesn't sound very plausible.

You didn’t really answer what I’d asked - I guess then it’s the whole thread? Sharing one story is as bad as six? You seem hung up on making sure I understand you weren’t offended by the joke. I get that bit, but I don’t have to agree 👍

It says

Ezra died in December 2021 on Nix's property after wandering into a pond and drowning while his grandmother slept just three days before Christmas.
While her husband, Nun Ney Nix, was out running errands, Nix fell asleep and little Ezra managed to open the door and climb under the fence and head toward the pond.

Unclear if the baby was asleep too. All very strange. Apparently she was practicing the piano while the baby girl was left in the car after lunch.

I've just read an article that quotes the defence attorney:

Fletcher now plans to use expert testimony that could not be brought up at this trial that states Nix was taking double to dose of Ambien than she was prescribed when she watched Uriel that day.
'She's very well-known and well-respected, and it was the medication really,' he insisted to Fox 13.

Sorry, what the fuck?! He thinks it's a defence that she was doubling her dose of sedative while looking after a baby?! That it makes it not her fault? Surely most normal people would think that makes her even more culpable and negligent?!

I'd say Grandma's not qualified for those types of jobs

I'm not sure how I didn't answer what you asked? I said why it bothered me?

And I'm not hung up on that at all, it was a minor part of my point. My point being that I would much rather have read that joke, than multiple descriptions of child deaths.

Ambient is addictive and shouldn't be used long term, she was doubling her dose, no wonder she was napping!!
Stupid selfish woman and the parents stupid for trusting her

Well other people wouldn't have started this thread in the first place. What's its purpose really other than self-satisfied 'I wouldn't do that'?

Different strokes.

I can't find where I read it but I definitely read something that said the grandfather left while the grandmother and child were sleeping.

But like I said, if that happened to one child on your watch, how on earth are you not super paranoid and vigilant with the next child. It's very odd.

My goodness......this safety stuff..Lots of children drown in BUCKETS and Lavatories?
That's something I'd never have considered.

I'm very glad others have posted with warning stories.
I wasn't aware until now that children have died in buckets of water and lavatories.

It pays to be made aware.

Ditto open windows high up.