I'm just going to have a good bitch once again about the Nobserver

[moondog]

Apparently there is an article in the magazine about Tony Parsons' sex life.

It's put me off my dinner.
I can't even bring myself to open it.

Worse even thah Jay rayner's staggeringly self indulgnet witterings about 'my life in food' last week.

God,where did it all go so wrong?

yes, or at least he is not at the back anymore. it is mariella. i read it from the back! stars first

then gardens. then food. then flick through to see if any of the articles are worth reading. that's how i read it.

"...stir in 700ml of water and mix it into a sticky dough. You then knead it for 10 minues, firmly but without any hatred."

see? that's me stuffed - just reading that fills me with too much hatred to knead bread dough.

"...for half an hour or until it sounds hollow when you beat its bottom like a drum."

beat its bottom like a drum? wtf? it's BREAD, fgs, and hot. You tap it, then drop it. I'm telling you, the man has ISHOOS.

I didn't feel partic. moved by Mariella column.
All any of them ever do is reflect in self congratulatory manner of own lives before remembering it isn't about her and ability to conceive after 40. Then she suggests 'some sort of bereavement therapy.

Like WHAT exactly??? It is so sloppy and lazy.

Nigel is still saint as far as I am concerned (althoguh confess to snigger at hessian artisan's apron and reference to loaf as being 'the one I have just taken out of the oven in Richard Ansett's photograph of me in the National Portait Gallery')

Lmao

I am ... slightly ... just a bit ... anal about my paper.

1. I should be the first one to read it. I don't actually say anything if someone else reads it. But I mind.

1. I must read it in a particular order. Front section, then the NYT thing, then jobs, then money, then travel, then review or whatever it is, then the magazine. The monthly mag fits in a different place depending on what mag it is.

But I don't read any of it backwards, that would be just weird.

lol NQC.

these I am pleased if I get to read any of it besides the magazine. ds thinks it's his job to sort the paper. (and the laundry. and the recyling. and the books. and...)

lol Phd

Soph, I have orders from my commandant to shoot anyone who uses expression 'self esteem' on sight.

moondog, do you have to be TOLD not to hate your bread dough?? do you beat its bottom like a drum???

Just the words Jay and Rayner are enough to bring up my Sunday dinner. Which he'd, no doubt, then hoover up.

Barefoot doctor left in disgrace after shagging several patients.

I'd like to see how his deep breathing and thrice daily enemas of cactus juice helped him deal with his fall from grace.

Phd,I know what he means thoguh.
I sooooooo do and heaven knows,I'm a sour old cynic.

oh it hasn't gone downhill
it's always been self-indulgent twaddle
I often like the Guardian but the Observer is just the pits

really?? that's good goss, that is. I saw some BF "doctor" products in a supermarket the other day. hadn't thought of him for years but the red mist lasted a good half an aisle

I gave up the nObserver a while ago, I think the Guardian is better on Saturday, I got the observer today and still think it is crap....

don't like Mariella, Nigel's biography put me off him when I had been a huge fan, now I think he is a whinging.....

it is just rubbish now, though I haven't read it all yet, so I am being a bit unfair.

I really don't like the woman mag, or the food one.

the observer = sickeningly smug journalism imho

I gave up buying The Observer a while back and don't miss it a bit.
I found it supremely dull and irritating.
I just buy The Guardian and The Times on Saturday -which are much better reads imo.

Yes, BF doctor is soooo averse to excesses and stresses of modern life that he flogs his snake oil in Tesco.

Twat.

I need a paper on Sunday dammit. They are all shite.

I don't understand why Mariella has that job. I mean, what, exactly, are her qualifications for it?

Didn't Lucy Siegle write soem annoying article about childless people once? Can't remember details but enough to lodge a "Don't like her" in my mind.

I read the Saturday Guardian in a specific order:

Front page
Page 2 & 3
Lucy Mangan
Phil Dowling
Money Letters (why do so many people still fall for boiler room scams?)
Family section
Quick Crossword
and then whatever. I read the "What Men know about women" column just so I can start the weekend in a rage.

Observer reading is all based on the actual newspaper because the magazine is so shite, worthy, up its own arse, self-regarding bollocks.

(Having said all that, there is a moving piece about PND in the mag today.)

I also have a good chortle about how they try to make any old crap into 'News!!!'

Usually some dramatic expose of how many lions have ingrown toenails in British zoos.

What have we today? Ah here is one.

'Web video surge leads to broadband overload.'

Crikey! That's very worrying.

And don't forget about the 2 year old who stole a sweet from Woolworth's pick and mix and was called a thief by the staff. That was well worth reporting, I felt.

PND ScmeeND.
I'm bloody fed up with women navel gazing about 'bonding ' too.
Tell ya what lady,spend a bit less time on yer pC and a bit more time with yer kid in the park. That way,we all comeo ut of it better off,not least the public who will be subjected to your moody portrait smouldering over a nasty sofa and your tome filling already groaning 'Woe is me' shelves.

lol Hassled.
Is that in today?

Can't remember details but enough to lodge a "Don't like her" in my mind.

Excellent Tinker.
Not just me then.

It does seem the same to me.

The BF doctor stuff was public knowledge - covered by the paper, even. It seemed ... unsurprising ... somehow.

Page 20, main section

Men like that are magnets for damaged people.
Horrid sod.