Page 21 | Nicola Bulley 10

lemmein · 2023-02-15T19:14:48+00:00

Fuck it, I'm opening another one. If the mods delete it fair enough. I don't believe the menopause or even alcoholism explains a woman vanishing into thin air with no evidence left behind. This whole case stinks!

Bellalalala · 16/02/2023 07:06

Dal Babu has just been on GMB. His opinion is that they decided to releases the information, due to people turning up, speculation, people conducting their own investigations etc. which is says was probably highly damaging to the case.

He said most of the speculation has come from people who have no idea about the details which is making things worse. And that online gossip is continuing to damage the investigation.

He also believes that the reason so many male ‘experts’ (ex policemen and others) are so confident about saying how crap the police have been and keep prodding at the Police investigation as there’s 2 women in charge. He said he believes those ‘experts’ constantly ‘snipping without all the information’ aren’t helping either and really should be thinking about what they are saying. He says he believes a lot of that is down to sexism towards the 2 Senior Police women.

Obviously, it’s just his opinion. But it’s quite different to what was coming out of twitter, via similar people to DB.

rubberduckiee · 16/02/2023 07:07

Zipfer · 16/02/2023 06:55

Thread Police 👮‍♀️ again. I agree it’s sad and undignified that the police had to release information on Nicola’s alcohol problems, but don’t you see that all this speculation has led to this? Social media has gone like this.

Police: We believe there was no third party involvement but we’re exploring other avenues.

Social media: Hang on, you need to tell us why you think that.

Police: Our investigations are continuing.

Social media: Why?! What about the glove? The red car? The fishermen?

Police: Ok, we knew Nicola had certain vulnerabilities. Now please stop speculating.

Social media: What vulnerabilities? Was it medical? Was it mental health? Please tell us. Please!

Police: ok, she had problems with alcohol

Social media: OMG, I can’t believe you’ve released that private information. Shame on you. Anyway, was the dog wet? What about the glove?

Have been lurking on all the Nicola Bulley threads on here since Day 1 and I totally second this.

Also, not saying that anything happened one way or the other – but what is very clear from this thread is a strongly implied view that anyone who commits suicide or has mental health issues has poorer character.

Whether or not this was the case I don't know, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a troubled woman with alcoholism. It does not make you any less of a human being.

Zipfer · 16/02/2023 07:08

Newtonsnipple · 16/02/2023 07:03

More like…

Police: ok, she had problems with alcohol

Social media, multiple people including criminologists and other police:

And how does releasing that private information help in any way? Unless you are trying to say that because a woman drinks ‘problematically’ and is dealing with some silly woman hormones, that that means you will only focus on ONE major line of inquiry.

Because they did, no matter how much you say ‘oh they were following others as well’. In an unprecedented move they announced exactly what they thought happened to the press, with no proof whatsoever.

That they are now using this information as an explanation for their incompetence is mind boggling.

Note to any future serial killers: Make sure she’s got a picture drinking on her public profile, is old enough to be having ‘women’s problems’ and make sure to do it, or drop some evidence, by a river in Lancashire.

Unless you’re embedded with the police team, you have absolutely no idea what avenues they were exploring behind the scenes.

The rest of your post is simply unnuanced.

rubberduckiee · 16/02/2023 07:09

And indeed, the actual word "character" was used more than once – the police were slandering her character, etc. Having MH or other issues does not reflect on your moral character. I think posters are unable to accept the police's statement due to their own internal prejudice.

secretmumofthree · 16/02/2023 07:10

What I really don't understand about this information they have given is, the police as a whole are under scrutiny due to imbedded corruption and sexism.... so they come out and label a woman in a stigmatising way with the menopause! Something that for the last couple of years has been campaigned against stigmatising! Police scrapping the barrel I think

ReddyBrekk · 16/02/2023 07:12

The menopause angle in particular seems so unnecessary and 'off'. It's like the modern day 'hysteria'' label made to make women sound unstable

Nonsense. They mentioned this to explain her "significant struggles with alcohol." Had they not felt compelled to give a reason, you lot would have inferred Nicola had hit the bottle because her partner was an abusive "narc" or some such nonsense.

rubberduckiee · 16/02/2023 07:14

@secretmumofthree the menopause is known to cause MH issues, including suicidal inclinations. Female researchers have started doing work on it and have called for much greater funding and research. Putting aside the context of this case for a moment, I think actually the very real issue needs to be legitimised, researched and addressed – rather than dismissed as imaginary, hysterical and so on.

plumduck · 16/02/2023 07:14

secretmumofthree · 16/02/2023 07:10

What I really don't understand about this information they have given is, the police as a whole are under scrutiny due to imbedded corruption and sexism.... so they come out and label a woman in a stigmatising way with the menopause! Something that for the last couple of years has been campaigned against stigmatising! Police scrapping the barrel I think

They haven't labelled her in a stigmatising way!
They've explained why she was afforded high risk status.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 16/02/2023 07:14

@MySugarBabyLove Agreed. If this story has come out in the media before police held this press conference then the police would have been criticised for hiding it. I suspect they agreed with the family that it was better to come from them officially rather than some sensational gossip in the press. They just can't win. I'm fully of the view that there still is a lot more to this than police are disclosing but at some point the dam will burst and the truth will come out.

plumduck · 16/02/2023 07:15

@Zipfer I agree. And I think the police knew the media were going to say something if they didn't.

BrendaWearingBaffies · 16/02/2023 07:17

The police should have released all that information about alcohol issues from the start to stop all the unnecessary speculation. I just said to myself "knew it" when I saw the news yesterday. There was more going on than what we were lead to believe wasn't just a simple missing person case after all...

ReddyBrekk · 16/02/2023 07:18

He also believes that the reason so many male ‘experts’ (ex policemen and others) are so confident about saying how crap the police have been and keep prodding at the Police investigation as there’s 2 women in charge. ... He says he believes a lot of that is down to sexism towards the 2 Senior Police women

I think he's spot on. It started after the first press conference lead by a woman.

MarshaBradyo · 16/02/2023 07:18

Peverellshire · 15/02/2023 23:28

I have said it here before but on WHOSE say so did she struggle with the menopause? That's subjective as are 'alcohol problems'?

I am still raw and terribly upset about the murder of Emma Pattison and daughter, Lettie, in Epsom. A few years before her husband rang the police and she was arrested on suspicion of common assault. Maybe her husband said she was violent and unstable and going through the menopause and drank too much? Who knows? We all know what tragic events that followed....

Show quote history

I’m wondering too..Did a male decide she had menopause problems, was it a dig. Ditto drinking

plumduck · 16/02/2023 07:21

BrendaWearingBaffies · 16/02/2023 07:17

The police should have released all that information about alcohol issues from the start to stop all the unnecessary speculation. I just said to myself "knew it" when I saw the news yesterday. There was more going on than what we were lead to believe wasn't just a simple missing person case after all...

Why? Why did we need to know. The police weren't to know that people would get so ridiculous about it.

ReddyBrekk · 16/02/2023 07:22

I’m wondering too..Did a male decide she had menopause problems, was it a dig. Ditto drinking

Dear god ... you lot won't let up will you?

Activelyannoyed · 16/02/2023 07:24

Why are folks twisting what the police said. This is so disrespectful to the family, to Nicola, her children.

it wasn’t she “just liked a drink”, they didn’t make her out to be a “menopausal alcoholic”, they didn’t say it as they saw an image of her with a glsss on a social media picture, it wasn’t as she had once stated one too many when the doctor asked, it wasn’t based on getting pissed one night. Or the many other shameful things being written.

have some bloody respect. A woman is missing, we can argue whether it is right to reveal she had significant issues with alcohol brought on by early menopause, had been struggling the last couple of months and has a crisis team involvement, but none of that. None of it, is the absolutely shameful stuff people are writing.

many people struggle. It is not something to be mocked, mitigated, underplayed, it doesn’t make them lesser. It isn’t some thing to downplay, ignore, laugh at, pretend isn’t true. It isn’t something to weaponise. It isn’t about the poster.

it’s shocking what’s been written on here.

MarshaBradyo · 16/02/2023 07:26

ReddyBrekk · 16/02/2023 07:22

I’m wondering too..Did a male decide she had menopause problems, was it a dig. Ditto drinking

Dear god ... you lot won't let up will you?

Eh?

I’ve posted about three times on this on all the many threads. Dear god why are you reading threads getting worked into a frenzy. Just hide them if it’s impacting you this much.

It’s clear what it’s about and I thought the poster made a good point. Why did you react?

RoseMadderAsHell · 16/02/2023 07:26

MySugarBabyLove · 16/02/2023 07:04

Except the media were about to run with the story anyway.

They had photo’s of her allegedly drunk, there was already mention of her drinking on social media.

So which would people prefer? For it to gradually drip drip drip that Nicola was an alcoholic with chinese whispers embellishing the facts along the way? Or for the police to reveal that they hadn’t intended to but it was necessary to reveal that Nicola had vulnerabilities. And at the point they revealed that they were likely approached by someone in the press who had all the details of her drinking etc which is why they released the further information.

And for the people saying that the police have portrayed her as a menopausal drunk, no they haven’t. But just think about it for a bit, someone has said to the police that she had a drink problem brought on by the menopause. Who do you think would have been responsible for feeding that narative to the police?

Of course the police wouldn't have released this information based on a narrative "fed" to them.
They would have had access to her medical records and social media accounts.

Renoir56 · 16/02/2023 07:29

Zipfer · 16/02/2023 06:55

Thread Police 👮‍♀️ again. I agree it’s sad and undignified that the police had to release information on Nicola’s alcohol problems, but don’t you see that all this speculation has led to this? Social media has gone like this.

Police: We believe there was no third party involvement but we’re exploring other avenues.

Social media: Hang on, you need to tell us why you think that.

Police: Our investigations are continuing.

Social media: Why?! What about the glove? The red car? The fishermen?

Police: Ok, we knew Nicola had certain vulnerabilities. Now please stop speculating.

Social media: What vulnerabilities? Was it medical? Was it mental health? Please tell us. Please!

Police: ok, she had problems with alcohol

Social media: OMG, I can’t believe you’ve released that private information. Shame on you. Anyway, was the dog wet? What about the glove?

Very well said.

User45378754 · 16/02/2023 07:36

rubberduckiee · 16/02/2023 07:09

And indeed, the actual word "character" was used more than once – the police were slandering her character, etc. Having MH or other issues does not reflect on your moral character. I think posters are unable to accept the police's statement due to their own internal prejudice.

100% agree with this.

The shock and outrage that she is slandered and the exaggeration that police are saying she is a crazy hormonal drunk worthy of less investigation resources - is weird.

Its not shameful to problems. I see her more compassionately now and expect that there is a much more complex back story than what PA was presenting. IMHO it is this unnecessary shame hiding objective truths that allowed the SM and MSM to run wild as it didn’t add up and no one could put their finger on it.

If it was going to come out in the press imminently as a ‘friend’ has spilled the beans then it was already being gossiped about in their social circle - so for her girls an objective compassionate discussion about struggles removes the hiding and shame. No need for shame and slander.

Just compassion and understanding.

MySugarBabyLove · 16/02/2023 07:37

RoseMadderAsHell · 16/02/2023 07:26

Of course the police wouldn't have released this information based on a narrative "fed" to them.
They would have had access to her medical records and social media accounts.

Show quote history

Not in the beginning they wouldn’t have.

They stated that they were informed by the family very early on that there were vulnerabilities which made Nicola a high risk missing person.

Only information given to the family would lead the police to launch an investigation into the disappearance of a seemingly competent adult just an hour after she was due to come home. There wouldn’t have been any accessing of medical records at that point. Yes the medical records may have been accessed subsequently, but her having a drink problem because of the menopause was a line that was given to them in order to hasten the investigation.

And yet those people who will have told them that have been all over the media contradicting what they have told the police and saying that this was so out of character which is why the concern happened so early on.

Alexandra2001 · 16/02/2023 07:37

@Activelyannoyed They ve effectively said she was the author of her own mis fortune.. whatever happened.

All they have done is feed the frenzy of speculation & this new info will not reduce the online stuff.

People on here should heed what a pp said earlier:

He said most of the speculation has come from people who have no idea about the details which is making things worse And that online gossip is continuing to damage the investigation

and...

many people struggle. It is not something to be mocked, mitigated, underplayed, it doesn’t make them lesser. It isn’t some thing to downplay, ignore, laugh at, pretend isn’t true. It isn’t something to weaponise. It isn’t about the poster

Very true but thats exactly what people will do, some of the best nicest and truest friends i know could easily be described as abusing alcohol and menopausal.... its utterly irrelevant.... i expect we'll all be getting more insights to this poor womans life soon :(

Darhon · 16/02/2023 07:37

It doesn’t surprise me that there was a mental health element to this at all. However, it surprises me that it wasn’t implied from the off with the wider attempts to find her. It is really, really common with missing people campaigns that get circulated on social media to ask people to look out for the person and for the information to state if they are vulnerable. Usually they just leave it at that but sometimes they say ‘on medication ‘.

I do hope the family get answers.

ReddyBrekk · 16/02/2023 07:41

MarshaBradyo · 16/02/2023 07:26

Eh?

I’ve posted about three times on this on all the many threads. Dear god why are you reading threads getting worked into a frenzy. Just hide them if it’s impacting you this much.

It’s clear what it’s about and I thought the poster made a good point. Why did you react?

Show quote history

I'm not in a "frenzy" - I'm bemused by this thread and its contributors. You must all realise how bizarre this thread is.

Some of us are commenting to try and provide some balance. It's a hard slog ...

User45378754 · 16/02/2023 07:41

rubberduckiee · 16/02/2023 07:14

@secretmumofthree the menopause is known to cause MH issues, including suicidal inclinations. Female researchers have started doing work on it and have called for much greater funding and research. Putting aside the context of this case for a moment, I think actually the very real issue needs to be legitimised, researched and addressed – rather than dismissed as imaginary, hysterical and so on.

Agree it’s an under researched area.

I think that there is a possible significant link that the peak age for female suicide is 45-49.

So many women struggle alone with the baffling and debilitating mental and physical issues of menopause and barely 10% are on HRT.