Page 18 | Nicola Bulley 10

lemmein · 2023-02-15T19:14:48+00:00

Fuck it, I'm opening another one. If the mods delete it fair enough. I don't believe the menopause or even alcoholism explains a woman vanishing into thin air with no evidence left behind. This whole case stinks!

schloss · 15/02/2023 23:11

MissWings · 15/02/2023 22:55

@schloss

What you are saying is basic knowledge. Of course MH can go against you on medical records, no one is really disputing that. But if this lady was going through an active crisis whereby police attended with HCPs and THEN becomes a missing person you would have to be a special sort of person not even to consider this in your enquiries. They HAVE explored other options and quite extensively. The case is still very much open.

I certainly am not saying it should not be considered, any avenue should be of course however notes on medical records can be used to label people.

I find it sad now that all the media will always mention NB with the label of unstable, menopausal, alcoholic.

There is a difference between the information to be used in an investigation and it to be publicised. I can see no reason why the information was released today, there was no mention that the family had agreed to it being published. All it has done is cause more speculation and sullied NB.

If you read back to the very few posts I have made on the previous threads I believe the intial statements from the police were not helpful and had they used differing words there would have been less speculation, less criticism and most importantly meant the information they divulged today would not have been necessary.

Of course the case is still open.

Mummykittykat · 15/02/2023 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BornFreeButinChains · 15/02/2023 23:13

The police couldn't find tia Sharpes body In small attic x 2.

These are extensive buildings and grounds.

Re the poster who said people drown.... Absolutely! It's the nature of this particular stretch of water people are saying it's odd.

The family or at least pa has said he is happy the media are keeping this going.

Peverellshire · 15/02/2023 23:14

User45378754 · 15/02/2023 23:01

Compared to what?

“On average 400 people drown in the UK each year and a further 200 people take their own lives on our waters.”

12 people a week - 4 of which are suicides. Since NB has been missing nearly another 36 have drowned and 12 will have taken their lives by drowning.

Why couldn’t she be one of these either an accident or intentional? It’s statistically much more likely than her being abducted.

www.nationalwatersafety.org.uk/media/1005/uk-drowning-prevention-strategy.pdf

I am finding it very odd that there is the demand for an open mind by police but on here some posters seem unable to hold all possibilities at once each with associated specific probability and risk.

Show quote history

You're right. I think it's possible she may have travelled to the area she knew well, had lived there before with PA, further west down the Wyre. River, very wide here.

augustusglupe · 15/02/2023 23:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Quite..

Pootle40 · 15/02/2023 23:14

Plitvice · 15/02/2023 21:12

While I do not have personal experience of the menopause yet, I think it is really disrespectful to women that they are suggesting that such a link between menopause and heavy drinking exists. I don't think I have heard that before.

Are they suggesting that? They are saying she had alcohol struggles and her own experience of menopause had re triggered it. Where on earth are they saying menopause causes 'women' to drink.

Suzi888 · 15/02/2023 23:15

“Yes. They are doing a job. Using huge resources. Idiots with no clue have castigated them, accused them of not investigating properly, and refused to listen to anyone who said, often from experience, that they'd know more than they were releasing publicly.”

Erm have they, in your opinion perhaps. They have literally, no evidence of anything. So there’s that….

BornFreeButinChains · 15/02/2023 23:15

@Peverellshire

How long would that have taken her?
A helicopter would have surely noticed her.

Commonsensitivity · 15/02/2023 23:17

Totally fuming about how she's now being portrayed as a menopausal alcoholic.

She got the kids to school on time. She dialed in to a team meeting. She communicated with friends about playdate. Her strava times show she's a really fast jogger. She's a mortgage advisor. She sounds pretty high achieving to me. Hardly the life and actions of an alcoholic. Even a functioning one.

I hate how this latest narrative is being used to discredit her as an emotional and hormonal woman. Utterly reprehensible.

LonginesPrime · 15/02/2023 23:18

I don't believe the police would have released such sensitive personal information if there was even the remotest possibility she's still alive.

Firstly, it obviously makes it so much harder for her to return if she has absconded of her own volition now they've told everyone this. If she's as vulnerable as they say, then obviously sharing this information with the whole world this would be hugely harmful to her. If there was even a tiny chance she's still alive, they wouldn't have risked her safety and wellbeing by disclosing her medical information like this.

And secondly, they would be risking a huge misconduct/data breach claim if the person whose sensitive medical records they've disclosed is still around to be affected by this disclosure. Why take the risk unless the information is likely to help find her?

It seems obvious from the fact they've disclosed this information that they believe they have sufficient info (probably from the previous callout and/or her phone/computer records) to confidently conclude that this was almost certainly a very sad suicide.

Commonsensitivity · 15/02/2023 23:18

Also 45 is perimopausal but not menopausal usually!

Suzi888 · 15/02/2023 23:18

Commonsensitivity · 15/02/2023 23:17

Totally fuming about how she's now being portrayed as a menopausal alcoholic.

She got the kids to school on time. She dialed in to a team meeting. She communicated with friends about playdate. Her strava times show she's a really fast jogger. She's a mortgage advisor. She sounds pretty high achieving to me. Hardly the life and actions of an alcoholic. Even a functioning one.

I hate how this latest narrative is being used to discredit her as an emotional and hormonal woman. Utterly reprehensible.

^ Indeed. My sentiments exactly.

EarringsandLipstick · 15/02/2023 23:19

Suzi888 · 15/02/2023 23:15

“Yes. They are doing a job. Using huge resources. Idiots with no clue have castigated them, accused them of not investigating properly, and refused to listen to anyone who said, often from experience, that they'd know more than they were releasing publicly.”

Erm have they, in your opinion perhaps. They have literally, no evidence of anything. So there’s that….

What do you mean by 'no evidence'? I doubt that's true.

You mean they've no body. Doesn't mean they haven't relevant information, which along with expertise, builds a case.

Pootle40 · 15/02/2023 23:19

Chicca1970 · 15/02/2023 21:32

I don’t think this would be mentioned if she was just a menopausal woman who drinks too much - the Police felt it was relevant because it suggests POSSIBLE mental instability and irrational behaviour - ffs we all need to stop being so sensitive - the end game is to get to the bottom of all this and return her home safe and well …

100%. People are irrational over this.

Peverellshire · 15/02/2023 23:20

BornFreeButinChains · 15/02/2023 23:15

@Peverellshire

How long would that have taken her?
A helicopter would have surely noticed her.

Quite a long time, hour and 20 or so, chances are she'd be seen, but I am not familiar with the geography there, it's about 4 miles (?) Given she lived there on edge of Larbeck Hall area, edge of caravan park (but not the one close to bench). She would be familiar and it might have associations.

scottishclive · 15/02/2023 23:20

Peverellshire · 15/02/2023 22:56

What did that mean, I guess they can see if she's posted on Mumsnet, for example or sought help/advice, personal deleted messages?

Show quote history

Not sure MN would be the best place for robust advice - at least not on these threads!

The suggestion from the police was they were investigating her SM (I assume FB) to get a better picture of her past, which might appear like the account holder (i.e her) is using it. This is I am sure true, but could also cover in the case where she is active there herself. So the family can say its the police on her SM if they want some privacy.

User45378754 · 15/02/2023 23:20

schloss · 15/02/2023 23:11

I certainly am not saying it should not be considered, any avenue should be of course however notes on medical records can be used to label people.

I find it sad now that all the media will always mention NB with the label of unstable, menopausal, alcoholic.

There is a difference between the information to be used in an investigation and it to be publicised. I can see no reason why the information was released today, there was no mention that the family had agreed to it being published. All it has done is cause more speculation and sullied NB.

If you read back to the very few posts I have made on the previous threads I believe the intial statements from the police were not helpful and had they used differing words there would have been less speculation, less criticism and most importantly meant the information they divulged today would not have been necessary.

Of course the case is still open.

Show quote history

Why would this information ‘sully’ NB?

Is it shameful now socially to struggle emotionally, hormonally or with problematic substance abuse?

Surely we are compassionate to these issues?

I think that PA / family maybe pushed the police not to mention vulnerability at the start and the police complied and it backfired from a communications / PR perspective. I don’t think it has hindered the investigations/SAR tho.

Peverellshire · 15/02/2023 23:21

Suzi888 · 15/02/2023 23:18

^ Indeed. My sentiments exactly.

Show quote history

Really well said!

EarringsandLipstick · 15/02/2023 23:21

Commonsensitivity · 15/02/2023 23:17

Totally fuming about how she's now being portrayed as a menopausal alcoholic.

She got the kids to school on time. She dialed in to a team meeting. She communicated with friends about playdate. Her strava times show she's a really fast jogger. She's a mortgage advisor. She sounds pretty high achieving to me. Hardly the life and actions of an alcoholic. Even a functioning one.

I hate how this latest narrative is being used to discredit her as an emotional and hormonal woman. Utterly reprehensible.

Nonsense.

They revealed information presented by her family, and their own records.

Absolutely possible for someone to have alcohol issues and do all that you describe. I know people in exactly that scenario (high functioning alcoholics). If that is the scenario here, and we simply don't know that

Suzi888 · 15/02/2023 23:21

@EarringsandLipstick What evidence are you referring to?

JaneJeffer · 15/02/2023 23:21

Why take the risk unless the information is likely to help find her?
How can this revelation help to find her?

EarringsandLipstick · 15/02/2023 23:22

Suzi888 · 15/02/2023 23:21

@EarringsandLipstick What evidence are you referring to?

I'm not the police - I don't have evidence. Like you don't.

Why do people persist in thinking that all details of the investigation must be known to them?

Devora13 · 15/02/2023 23:24

I did respect the police being firm during the press conference about not giving any details of her vulnerabilities, although to me, this was going to immediately through the spotlight back on the family. Surely all they needed to say, if anything at all, that there were health issues which may have contributed to what happened.

Suzi888 · 15/02/2023 23:25

EarringsandLipstick · 15/02/2023 23:22

I'm not the police - I don't have evidence. Like you don't.

Why do people persist in thinking that all details of the investigation must be known to them?

Show quote history

Oh ok. We agree.

Peverellshire · 15/02/2023 23:28

Peverellshire · 15/02/2023 23:21

Really well said!

Show quote history

I have said it here before but on WHOSE say so did she struggle with the menopause? That's subjective as are 'alcohol problems'?

I am still raw and terribly upset about the murder of Emma Pattison and daughter, Lettie, in Epsom. A few years before her husband rang the police and she was arrested on suspicion of common assault. Maybe her husband said she was violent and unstable and going through the menopause and drank too much? Who knows? We all know what tragic events that followed....