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Nicola Bulley 10

1000 replies

lemmein · 15/02/2023 19:14

Fuck it, I'm opening another one. If the mods delete it fair enough.

I don't believe the menopause or even alcoholism explains a woman vanishing into thin air with no evidence left behind.

This whole case stinks!

OP posts:
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8
Tireddoggymum · 15/02/2023 22:02

Plitvice · 15/02/2023 21:31

The message I am getting is 'Never have alcohol/mental health problems because the Police wont really investigate it properly if anything ever happens to you'.
If you go through the menopause then it will count against you as well.

This 100%. I have struggled but I would hope that if I went missing I would be worthy of a massive search and my family concerns taken seriously!!

pigsinoodies · 15/02/2023 22:05

Peverellshire · 15/02/2023 22:00

Suicides in the river/water are relatively rare and difficult to carry out, grim as the topic is.

Is a suicide I'm a river not what's being discussed then - with ever more unlikely scenarios?

Lorry10 · 15/02/2023 22:07

who has said she is a functioning alcoholic? hadn't she just taking her kids to school and been on a work call.
So she liked a drink, i'm not sure that makes her a suicide and why in a shallow river on a regular dog walk, with many people in the area, when she had a car?

THIS.

Rempf · 15/02/2023 22:08

This reply has been deleted

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Amethystanddiamonds · 15/02/2023 22:09

pissssedofff · 15/02/2023 21:41

@Amethystanddiamonds

who has said she is a functioning alcoholic? hadn't she just taking her kids to school and been on a work call.

So she liked a drink, i'm not sure that makes her a suicide and why in a shallow river on a regular dog walk, with many people in the area, when she had a car?

No one said she was a functioning alcoholic. What I'm trying to say (although probably badly) is just because she had taken the kids to school and joined a teams meeting on a dog walk doesn't mean anything in terms of her mental health or alcohol use. Appearances can be deceiving. My experience tells me that actually people with alcohol and drug problems can be very well put together, respectable people.

Winnet · 15/02/2023 22:12

Amethystanddiamonds · 15/02/2023 22:09

No one said she was a functioning alcoholic. What I'm trying to say (although probably badly) is just because she had taken the kids to school and joined a teams meeting on a dog walk doesn't mean anything in terms of her mental health or alcohol use. Appearances can be deceiving. My experience tells me that actually people with alcohol and drug problems can be very well put together, respectable people.

I think what you said put it perfectly and is very true.

Some people don't get it, at all.

Mistressofnone · 15/02/2023 22:13

It seems obvious to me that she didn't go in the river. Her family and friends appeals have been directed at Nicola herself, rather than to the public.

I hope her loved ones get some answers soon.

Rempf · 15/02/2023 22:13

Amethystanddiamonds · 15/02/2023 22:09

No one said she was a functioning alcoholic. What I'm trying to say (although probably badly) is just because she had taken the kids to school and joined a teams meeting on a dog walk doesn't mean anything in terms of her mental health or alcohol use. Appearances can be deceiving. My experience tells me that actually people with alcohol and drug problems can be very well put together, respectable people.

But alcohol problems compared to dropping your children to school, tieing up your dog and hurling yourself into a river seem an extreme outcome.

I think this is why the police threw in the ill thought out menopause comment- the alcohol in itself, unless she was full full blown, woudnt lend itself to the actions suggested

Eatentoomanyroses · 15/02/2023 22:16

pigsinoodies · 15/02/2023 22:05

Is a suicide I'm a river not what's being discussed then - with ever more unlikely scenarios?

Didn’t Paul say in the c5 interview something like he wanted every inch of land and buildings searched? I may have misheard/ be misremembering but I wonder if he perhaps thinks she’s gone somewhere to hide and hurt herself?
I do really struggle with the idea she’s harmed herself. It just doesn’t seem likely to me. Why would you be bothered with a teams meeting if you were going to kill yourself?

scottishclive · 15/02/2023 22:16

Mistressofnone · 15/02/2023 22:13

It seems obvious to me that she didn't go in the river. Her family and friends appeals have been directed at Nicola herself, rather than to the public.

I hope her loved ones get some answers soon.

This might be wishful thinking - would the family not come out and say it directly? Particularly now.

Winnet · 15/02/2023 22:16

Rempf · 15/02/2023 22:13

But alcohol problems compared to dropping your children to school, tieing up your dog and hurling yourself into a river seem an extreme outcome.

I think this is why the police threw in the ill thought out menopause comment- the alcohol in itself, unless she was full full blown, woudnt lend itself to the actions suggested

Absolutely clueless, you.

Goldpaw · 15/02/2023 22:16

From Twitter:

I have been writing & talking about the power of pathologisation of women for years now. The reframing of female victims as unstable, unreliable, problematic, mentally ill, and hormonal is blueprint. It works. It discredits.Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. #NicolaBulley
Dr. Jessica Taylor (@DrJessTaylor) February 15, 2023

Suzi888 · 15/02/2023 22:17

@Rempf Agree.

I’ve had experience of knowing a few alcoholics and it’s been the drink that’s ultimately killed them, none have taken their own lives. (Not to say that’s what’s happened).

Rempf · 15/02/2023 22:18

Winnet · 15/02/2023 22:16

Absolutely clueless, you.

Shhhhh. Not necessary

Tireddoggymum · 15/02/2023 22:20

Why are people referring to Nicola as an Alcoholic?

Chocolated · 15/02/2023 22:21

I'm wary of labelling someone as an alcoholic, yes she could have been drinking more than usual, been in a low mood etc but when we label someone as an addict we immediately form a picture of them and it's not always an accurate one

Mistressofnone · 15/02/2023 22:23

"This might be wishful thinking - would the family not come out and say it directly? Particularly now."

@scottishclive sometimes it has struck me as implicit. Even PA saying he cannot spend another night putting the girls to bed without knowing where their mummy is, or words to that effect, I feel like that would be something he would send directly to her via text if he could.

Rempf · 15/02/2023 22:24

Suzi888 · 15/02/2023 22:17

@Rempf Agree.

I’ve had experience of knowing a few alcoholics and it’s been the drink that’s ultimately killed them, none have taken their own lives. (Not to say that’s what’s happened).

This is my experience also- Im sure if differs wildly depending on the individual.

Im sure the police have not intentionally been so flippant but its correct that they should be made to see that their recent comments are a sweeping generalisation at best

Humoresque · 15/02/2023 22:24

Goldpaw · 15/02/2023 22:16

From Twitter:

I have been writing & talking about the power of pathologisation of women for years now. The reframing of female victims as unstable, unreliable, problematic, mentally ill, and hormonal is blueprint. It works. It discredits.Once you see it, you can’t unsee it. #NicolaBulley
Dr. Jessica Taylor (@DrJessTaylor) February 15, 2023

This

MissWings · 15/02/2023 22:25

@Suzi888

Not my experience at all. If you are suicidal it isn't necessarily the alcohol addiction that causes a person to end their lives. They usually experience a lot of suicidal ideation due to depression and then end their lives under the influence due to an increased sense of impulsivity, and alcohol being a further depressant.

I am not saying NB was actively intoxicated at the time as she was clearly functioning at that time in the morning, however she was struggling. If her family had been a little more honest about that then the divers could have extended their search further up the river.

Peverellshire · 15/02/2023 22:26

We can practically rule out suicide in the river that’s been extensively searched to date,

I think Nicola was extremely smart too…

Amethystanddiamonds · 15/02/2023 22:27

@Rempf I don't know if she's in the river or not. I don't have the evidence to make any decision because I'm not a police officer.

What I do know is there are lots of untrue things being said about people with alcohol misuse. I think people still have this image of the council estate drunk, whilst completely ignoring the middle class alcohol issues that are a massive problem in this country.

BornFreeButinChains · 15/02/2023 22:28

Suicide was always an option and however she got into that waters, intentionally or not so being menapausal etc makes no difference.

Hiding herself away is another matter

Activelyannoyed · 15/02/2023 22:29

I don’t get the message that fhe police are saying if you are menopausal or have issues with alcohol we won’t help or search for you and I think this is rather unfair.

They were in the water immediately, had the dogs and divers out, and had the helicopters out as soon as it was dark. They are now explaining everything else done. A lot of the speculation was clearly wrong. There was a shit ton being done.

I’m bemused anyone can listen to everything done now and say well what they are saying is they won’t investigate properly, fine before, but they’ve just detailed a lot of a stuff and an exhaustive investigation.

I don’t understand what’s happened here. I don’t understand why such s senior officer was put in charge of something like this, I don’t understand why given the information the police have now released , Paul and Emma have been giving it everything was wonderful and she’d never leave, someone has done something to her, comdeming the police, encouraging the public. Whilst also immediately telling the police about what appears to be very significant risk factors, knowing the extent of the investigation, having liaison officers there daily with them. I don’t understand why she can’t be found.

the last few weeks have been hard for her they said, we know she stopped posting on face book in December, the police were called with health workers in Jan, maybe a crisis team, her Fitbit hadn’t been synced since the previous Tuesday, she stopped using her strava awhile ago.

where is she, no one knows. On balance on thinking about it, I think this is likely there is no third party involved. I hope she will turn up one day, and get any help she needs.

scottishclive · 15/02/2023 22:29

Mistressofnone · 15/02/2023 22:23

"This might be wishful thinking - would the family not come out and say it directly? Particularly now."

@scottishclive sometimes it has struck me as implicit. Even PA saying he cannot spend another night putting the girls to bed without knowing where their mummy is, or words to that effect, I feel like that would be something he would send directly to her via text if he could.

OK fair enough, I did not pick up on that and there has been lots of cases in the past that family have directly pleaded for their loved ones to come home.

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