Nicola Bulley 10

[lemmein]

Fuck it, I'm opening another one. If the mods delete it fair enough.

I don't believe the menopause or even alcoholism explains a woman vanishing into thin air with no evidence left behind.

This whole case stinks!

I thought that might have been deliberate, to see if anyone returned to the scene of a 'crime'...

Maybe the police are hoping if she reads lots of supportive comments, or if people just stop talking about her so much it will be easier to return.

They have said their main theory is that she has gone in the river.

Sorry not RFT but I just wanted to add my voice here to say it feels as though the police have operated from a place of bias from the start and that Nicola has been written off as a menopausal woman who drinks. The facts are she dropped her kids at school that day, took her dog for a walk and had a work call. That to me says a together busy working mum.

As I said, there could be tons of reasons. Including the police are shit.

That the police felt that sharing why they are feel it’s more likely she hurt herself, would stop all the speculation, trespassers and general dickheads making everything harder for all involved. And the psychics posted awful things.

Or the family knew people were gossiping and agreed with the police they should be the ones to states it factually. Maybe the family think they may be able to help other women, down the line by using her case to highlight how menopause can impact women’s and their mental health. Just like lots of bereaved families do.

Because as this evening has proved, the general public don’t know all the details. It’s likely we still don’t. So we don’t know the reason it was released.

Which is as my point. At this point we don’t know why and we don’t know how the family feel. So everything else is just people speculating. How has that helped so far?

Sounds to me like the police knew immediately that she was vulnerable (and why) and classified Nicola appropriately from day 1. They never closed off the other two options that a) she disappeared voluntarily and b) a third parry was involved. But what they are saying is option 3, i.e., she went into the river is the most likely based on current evidence and facts.

Frankly, if I were in that police boss's shoes, I'd be doing the same thing and sharing what they shared today to shut people up and put a lid on all the gossiping and story mongering and to confirm their position clearly.

They are being attacked from all sides when none of us know anything as much as they do. I have no idea why they are attracting as much hate.

The police are suggesting a bit more than someone who simply drinks a bit too much here - they are suggesting alcoholism which does, of course, make you vulnerable. I can see why they felt backed into a corner to release it but it doesn’t reflect well

This.

I also think that if she has taken herself off for a break it would be difficult to return after the case becoming so high profile. People knowing about her ‘vulnerabilities’ would hopefully make it easier. If that makes sense. I’m holding out hope that this is the case, however unlikely.

If there strategy was to stop gossip then it's been an epic fail

While I do not have personal experience of the menopause yet, I think it is really disrespectful to women that they are suggesting that such a link between menopause and heavy drinking exists. I don't think I have heard that before.

@Bellalalala no I’m not denying it. Trust me.
You’re trying to derail a thread by purposely misconstruing my posts. Plus I have no idea what you are on about in that last post to be honest.

Whether NB was menopausal/ peri has no bearing on how she has managed to go missing in ten minutes. I don’t think that is difficult to understand.

The police stated only a few hours ago that they wouldn’t elaborate on the “vulnerabilities”. Yet here we are only a few hours later. They would have been better off stating it live, but I imagine the SIO would have found that difficult.

I don’t see menopause as a “vulnerability”. I think it’s extremely dangerous to do so.

I haven't commented on the threads but have been reading, they've been mostly respectful but I don't think some of the posters challenging the threads are unreasonable either.
I don't have faith in the police, they've put women I personally know in harms way by not dealing with domestic violence and I agree that conversations should happen but there's been some unpleasant posts too.

I have an alcoholic in my family who was functioning for years, for about two if those years I was the only person who noticed and raised concerns, I had family get angry with me for raising those concerns, calling me a shit stirrer and for a long time my family member functioned really well, looked well put together too, cared for her grandchildren, even after they learnt how serious her drinking was she was trusted with the children.

What I wanted to say was, someone being well l put together can still be vulnerable due to alcohol or mental health problems, also it is not only the being drunk that made my family member very vulnerable, she had a few serious accidents when sober due to hallucinations caused by alcohol withdrawals, she suffered anxiety and depression when trying to get sober too and she sometimes didn't seek help for it because she felt ashamed about her drinking and didn't want wider family or friends to gossip or judge her. She once fell down the stairs running away from a man that was not there. She could have random spells of utter confusion during her sober periods too, which also make her vulnerable.

I don't agree that the police mentioning menopause and alcohol issues are the same as suggesting or assuming it means she was a crazy suicidal drunk, nor is it the same as saying menopausal drunk women can't be harmed by other people. They're two very valid things that can have a massive negative impact on mental and physical health and people have been demanding the reasoning as to why the police feel her going into the river is the most likely (not definite) reason. I don't know what's happened to Nicola abs as much as I have no faith in the police, I don't believe they've made all this up like some posters seem to believe.

No it snacks of people on the internet being too thick to realise that they don’t have the whole picture and don’t have a clue what they are talking about anyway. 2+2 does not equal 5 and if you get 5 it’s far more likely that you are missing an important part of the equation that a conspiracy theory.

Perhaps if this ever reaches a conclusion it might be a better idea to consider that ‘keeping things in the public eye’ isn’t always the most helpful thing in missing persons cases (whatever the reason they are missing). And in this case has ended up leading to the privacy of Nicola, Paul and their two daughters being invaded more than it needed to be.

If she is still alive and maybe having second thoughts and wanting to return, this makes it almost impossible for her to do it now.

They said she was vulnerable because of the overuse of alcohol due to troubles in menopause. Not that she is an alcoholic. Its different.

If she had been drinking, she could have gone to check on the dog and simply lost her balance. Her reactions wouldn't have been as quick as normal, and all it takes is a few minutes for someone to go under and drown. Even in 10 minutes, it's possible.

Someone's already quoted Occams Razor. It's so pertinent here given what the police shared today.

I think it has been searched throughly, or certain stretches of it, the police were focusing as below as a consequence.

I am genuinely surprised PF hadn't already read between the lines in the light of today's revelations. ESPECIAlLLY since he was on the ground with PA and police, I had, and I am sure others had, too, Riley's words around Nicola's disappearance were passive, gentle and treading very carefully:

The likelihood is that Nicola has gone missing and this is not a crime inquiry

We’re very much hoping that we will find something to try to bring her home safe and well soon

THE RIVER

That does not mean, however, that Nicola was not in the river at some point due to the tidal flow of the river. For this reason, our search of the river and the river banks extends out to the sea, particularly the area from Knott End, out towards Morecambe.

What is the river like at the area from Knott End, out towards Morecambe. How long at a run to get there and is it very quiet?

Why on earth do the police feel the need to appease online rumours? Thats a ridiculous precedent to set. It smacks of a force that hasnt ever been exposed to scrutiny and are floundering in attempts to justify their actions, which have been appalling.
Tonight is the icing on the cake.

Had a drunken row? Been a bit low?

Obviously she has self drowned at 930am in a shallow river ,frequented by walkers whilst walking her own dog despite nothing being found and the river being searched immediatley by helicopters with infrared.

Naturally.

Why Sam Beckett? Time travel I guess, 'putting right what once went wrong'

There is no evidence she left the area and it’s unlikely the dog wouldn’t have followed her is she did.

Not by the bench it wasn't, or anywhere close.

Given the divers and all the details we have.

Yea her mental states infact does impact where she could have been.

She could have been purposely avoiding people and walking off path.

Woman with no Vulnerabilities, walking her dog with the intention of returning home will act very different to a woman with vulnerabilities, who is struggling with their mental health who is planning on not returning homes

You tried to derail the thread by saying ‘why would her ovaries determine where she is’. You played down the impact menopause has. Because you thought it sounded good. But you definitely tried to down play how bad menopause can be and ignored that Nicola was struggling with it.

Point us in the direction where someone said her ovaries would determine where she was? Or that menopause, always makes someone vulnerable. Or that she was vulnerable just because she was menopausal? Because I am sure it said she was struggling with it. There’s also a problem of some sort with alcohol. Again, making her vulnerable.

If menopause is really bad it can harm someone’s physical and mental health, making that person vulnerable.

If she distracted it by throwing a stick etc and set off at a pace?

Are they implying that though or just suggesting that Nicola was struggling with it to the extent that alcohol became her crutch?

I know that I turned to alcohol initially after post partum anxiety in 2018 and I've been fighting it ever since - both anxiety and alcohol. Both are helluva drugs.

For what its worth, I am shocked and surprised that the police got this specific with it though. ''Mental health struggles'' would have served the same picture without outing her too much.

Of course, she can be mentally unwell and still have been abducted, but I don't think this is the case here. More likely, I feel, that she either fell in or deliberately ended her own life, sadly.

I've had a few occasions where I've been tempted to walk out into on coming traffic or slip into a river. Doing better for now, though.

@Bellalalala.. I know I shouldn't respond but this is a chat forum.

Some people think mn has incredible importance or that we are in a court of law.

We are processing upsetting information.

I for one am extremely heartened that this new information release has been heartily slapped down all over...

I love the transparancy that sm etc gives us.

I had thought it might be an in joke between them or something, just in case?

@SpudleyLass. That's all very well.

Go into my river and its likely to be fatal

But her river simply isn't as treacherous