Archie Battersbee thread 5

[henryhihat]

New thread...

Sadly I agree

She’s behaved appallingly and it can’t be simply excused by grief

If that was all it was then I'd be understanding. But what she's accusing the hardworking medical staff of, and how she's violating his dignity by sharing pictures and medical details is inexcusable.

I agree. I was reading on the kiwi farm information, and I can't say I'm surprised tbh.

I agree with this.

I also strongly disagree with those saying just let her have what she wants, because to act against the patient's best interests simply to appease the parents would set a disastrous precedent, IMO.

I don't think allowing it is necessarily a statement that it's ok. I think it's more an acceptance of the situation.
I think we need to protect the staff- perhaps even decide it's not safe for them to be there now- and step back.
We're trying to behave rationally in an irrational situation- we can't control her. If she was a toddler, you'd hug her hard while she tried to kick you and claw at you, and she'd collapse with exhaustion.
She's disregulating, and we can't contain her the way you would a toddler.

I actually think the natural grief and acceptance process has been interfered with by his medical care. We haven't evolved as fast as our medicine has.

I wish media can go away too. Too much lolcow factor hre.

Hollie has acknowledged (in court at least) that she knows Archie will die but wants it to happen without the interventions that have kept his body functioning. being removed. Now it seems even with those interventions he is deteriorating more rapidly, as she has been told from the outset he will and it is again the hospitals fault.

The kindest thing I can say is that she is unhinged by grief, but the impact of all this on the medical staff and other patients and families in PICU is absolutely appalling and her distress is not an excuse. It may be a reason, but it is not an excuse.

This is hideous to watch play out, and I feel so desperately sad for Archie. I really hope that he gets the peaceful passing he deserves soon. (I know he is all but dead anyway but his body should be allowed to pass from this horrifying limbo now too).

i truly don’t know how the parents can stand to watch this happen; it is utterly torturous. I honestly think if they listen to the hospital withdrawal of LS in a planned and peaceful way won’t be scary or awful for them, his body will just slip away and stop. The awful scary bit has already happened when he was found hanging - this bit could be controlled and peaceful and loving.

Why wouldn’t you want this for your loved one? Surely if we could choose how we die we would all choose this?

This is beyond grief...the accusations against the hospital staff are appalling. Maybe she's of 'unsound mind' due to grief. Certainly her behaviour keeps the spotlight away from any discussions about what happened, and his home life.

I can't imagine wanting to keep anyone (far less my child) on mechanical breathing who's brain is necrotising. It is fundamentally wrong to mechanically push oxygen into lungs at this point in my view.

The media framing this as a 'fight for life' has a lot to answer for. Very disturbing that her accusations make the news, and the true state of his condition seems to be less newsworthy.

Sadly, moving any ITU patient is a very big undertaking - with many risks.

unless there is a hospice in London which has capacity for ETT+ventilators then ITU treatments would need to be withdrawn prior to transfer. Every move risks airway occlusion. He would be highly likely to die in a hospital corridor, lift or transfer ambulance.

from what I’ve seen he hasn’t been triggering any efficient spont breaths on the vent, this means his death is likely to be very quick.

If it was safe to move him to a hospice and he would survive the journey I’m sure the hospital would. Some patients do get transferred from critical care to hospices.

I also hope she doesn’t disrupt the other patients and families but I doubt she gives a flying fuck.

The fact she can say this with a straight face says an awful lot about her current mental state.

I don't think it is guilt, from all the things she has done and gone to the papers about before I think the issues are much much bigger.

This is spot on. Deep down she will know and understand that Archie tried to end his life. But to actually acknowledge that to herself, let alone publicly, would be catastrophic for her sense of self-esteem, her self perception. The guilt and shame would be so overwhelming. So she’s constructed this whole response to prove to herself what a good parent she is. Hoping that people accept the ‘tiktok challenge’ theory without question. She might be able to keep this psychological framework going forever.

Could she theoretically lose competence if it were obvious that her state of mind was preventing her from making rational decisions in Archie's best interests?

To think they’re blissfully unaware of this shows a complete incomprehension of the world awareness a pre teen has.

Blissfully unaware v obsessing over every post and TikTok and looking up dirt - think there's a middle ground here. I'm sure his friends know the situation, I doubt they are as obsessed as some on here with every minute detail.

I feel awful for the staff. Think I would have gone on sick for stress the way she has been treating them.
They are doing their best for her son and it must be distressing to watch him deteriorating before eyes.

Whos going to section the 'grieving mother' seriously the back lash would be horrendous and just play into conspiracy theories.

Until she directly hurts herself or other people, I don't think they can.

Her behaviour is destructive, though.

Ever since she posted that video of his eyes “looking” at his teddy - with fixed, dilated pupils and filmy corneas - I’ve thought that she’s been delusional.

But - understandably so. And then in court she’s supposedly saying that she knows he won’t recover.

No, fair enough - I was just wondering if it were theoretically possible from a purely legal pov.

Presumably during this time other families will have had a child die or been given devastating news in the same Picu, I only hope their own stay was able to be as peaceful and respectful as possible.

I never inferred that at all. I said how hard must it be to process what is going on if you are his school mate. Daily news updates about the situation of your school friend and transcripts of the court cases in the news must be horrible to have to process.

my 12 year old is an anxious soul at the best of times. I know if this was happening in the public eye to someone she knew she would have endless questions and endless need for reassurances I wouldnt be able to give her.

They don’t need to trawl social media to fuel that. And the rumour mill among school kids is all over the place. Years ago when the Manchester bomb went off our primary school dedicated a circle time to let the kids talk out what they had heard in a safe setting to try and pick apart rumour from fact and let them air their anxiety. These kids won’t have the school support behind them as it’s the holidays (unless Archie’s school have organised something specifically).

I feel so desperately sad for Archie. His mother keeps banging on about dignity but she stripped that from him long ago. Posting pictures of your dying child's tiny skeletal frame in a nappy, pictures of his urine output for goodness sake, I can't fathom it. If you want to take final photos of your child then fair enough, but the world does not need to see them.

And the continued comments from people saying she's doing what any mother would do are really getting to me. Not all mothers would do this, some of us have had to make the same heartbreaking choices and never behaved the way she has. Grief does terrible things to people but I don't think that excuses her behaviour in the last few weeks. I chose to turn my son's life support off and it doesn't make me less of a mother or mean I didn't fight for him. I would've given my own life for him to wake up but it wasn't going to happen and doing what was best for him was the priority. It's not about what parents want. Children are people in their own right and some parents need to stop acting like they own them.

I truly hope the court puts an end to all of this today, for Archie's sake.

I’ve just read that the court are to give their ruling regarding moving to a hospice at 10.15 today.