Mother can keep birth a secret

[MamaMaiasaura]

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7109774.stm what do you think about this?

My gut instinct is that its wrong. If on the one hand absent fathers should pay maintenance, it doesn't seem fair that they also have no right to know that their child exists. On the other hand, if the law said that they did have this right, I have no idea how it could be enforced.

that is very unfair on the unborn babies Father.

I think that is really unfair. Whose to say the father wouldn't have taken on the child?

I was going to post the same thing Nab.
Who knows how he would've reacted if/when told he was going to be a father.

That has made me so mad. Why should the mother always get the final say???

I can only think there are issues surrounding her life/upbringing etc where they felt it was in the best interests of the child to be adopted by a stable family unit. There is not really much to go on. I also wonder if it was because it was a one night stand not a relationship there was presumably no intent/consent to fathering a child.

I'm assuming this is not going to set a precedent hopefully much more a case of a rare exception to the rule than a yes it's up to the mother every time rule.

but surely, if the woman does not want anything from the father, then it is her privilege, as the article says, she has the ultimate veto..if she has no relationship with the father of the child, then why should she be forced to tell him.. any man can father a child, does not autmotically make you a parent

who should have the ultimate say, if not the mother, who will carry and give birth to the child.

Why on earth were her parents informed? She's an adult ffs.

It would be unenforcable. Maybe that's why they ruled against.

God, I think this is an awfully difficult one.

"any man can father a child, does not autmotically make you a parent"

But it does if the mother wants to claim child support. And rightly. Or at least it makes you responsible in some way for that child. But only if the mother wants it.

As someone who has neverhad, nor has ever wanted to have, contact with my biological 'father' (have an adoptive one I love very much) I find the whole thing very difficult.

should a man who has a one night stand be forced to parent a child with a woman who does not want to have anything to do with him?

Should he be given the right to decide whether he wants to?

This topic is far too complex to make generalisations with. Yes in principle it is atrocious if the father is not made aware, but there are tales of individual circumstances would make anyone change their mind and agree that the mother should be able to make the decision of disclosure.

do you know, that is a really interesting question!

surely a forced relationship could ultimately lead the child to suffer more.. or contact would start then have to end as it was unworkable?

i honestly don;t know the answer

but i will watch this debate with interest

Camilla - understand what you are saying but until men generally feel the automatic onus of responsibility that a woman (rightly) feels with pregnancy, there needs to be external controls to attempt to deal with the situtation you describe - ie enforced responsibility.

I am actually heartily glad that I have never known my biological father. I have a loving father who came into my life when I was 2, a brother and sister who I cannot think of as 'half' siblings. We are one family. No distinctions.

Yet I know that other people are desperate to find out.

One size doen't fit all.

(situation)

true enough

there will never be a one size fits all for this type of situation

One size does not fit all, you are so right. The law can never truly accommodate this fact.

My thoughts are where is the one night stand and why has he not got in touch with a woman that he wanted to have sex with? Of course if he had treated this woman with any kind of respect then he would have known about the baby.

He has had nine months to get in contact - bit late now.

We can't have it all ways. We can't say it is her right to choose whether to continue the pregnancy without need for his consultation but not whether to put the baby up for adoption.

Likewise, we don't allow men to say they consented to sex but not fatherhood. The decision should be hers at birth as it is hers in pregnancy.

Disgraceful. Why should the father not have the right to know?

If she had had an abortion then she would not have had to tell anyone, and if she had decided to keep the child then she would not have had to tell anyone, provided that she didn't want any support. I can't see what purpose would be acheived given that the child was being put up for adoption. If the provider of the sperm (and that's all we are talking about here really) had had any interest in this girl then as ivykaty has said he would have made some contact - and if the girl was so adamant that no one should know then maybe there was some reason? Too little to go on here, and whilst I do think father's rights are important, the issue about when that starts is a tricky one.