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News

Tragic case of stressed mother leaving her child alone in car

271 replies

GiantSquirrelSpotter · 29/05/2007 09:05

www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=458063&in_page_id=1811

This is a dreadful case, but what I found quite heartening, is that the Belgian child protection authorities have not immediately bayed for the mother's blood; they've responded with compassion, not condemnation, acknowledging that tragic mistakes happen and forgetfulness does not equal lack of love.

I just wish the English could learn a bit about compassion in cases like this.

OP posts:
beckybrastraps · 29/05/2007 17:19

Honestly, you can't say that. Would I ever have imagined that I would have forgotten the existence of my second child? Of course not. Yet I did. What do you think should have happened to me?

Grrrr · 29/05/2007 17:20

Kerrymum please give up, you're just digging yourself in deeper and deeper.

The woman was working and I think the baby was 5 months old so sleep deprivation sure as hell played a part in her actions.

She thought she was coping, the problem sometimes is that the stressed non-coping person is the last to see that things are not quite right. Until a person has put the sugar in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard they have been on stress related or sleep deprived autopilot without realising it and they haven't "re-evaluated our lives" accordingly until they've made those errors.

I think even one of the tabloid newspapers might be more sensitive than you are being.

We don't know the circumstances of her life, maybe her dp strolled off to work every morning leaving her to get all the children up and out before she could get to work, maybe he came home each evening expecting her to have bathed them and put them to bed and have his dinner on the table ready. Maybe her mother was very ill, maybe she was worried about a pregnancy scare.

Unless you've walked a mile in her shoes, please don't be so quick to compare what you would or wouldn't do.

You say you'd throw yourself off a bridge if you were in her shoes, but stop and think. You sound as if you only have the one child, no-one would be left an orphan in that situation. She has 2 other children that need their mummy and she needs help to go on living and coping with the trauma of what has happened for their benefit.

Do you really understand the word compassion or you are you just wanting to share how much this has upset you personally.

Tamum · 29/05/2007 17:21

I think it's absolutely unforgiveable to speculate that drugs were involved. The baby was 5 months ffs, have the people on here who would "never do such a thing" never suffered from serious sleep deprivation?

nailpolish · 29/05/2007 17:21

you cant say you would never do this

its like saying "oh i wouldnever let my child run out in front of a car"

Tamum · 29/05/2007 17:21

Cross posted Grr.

PetronellaPinkPants · 29/05/2007 17:21

Well you are lucky that you made other fuck ups and not this one then aren't you

fgs

KerryMum · 29/05/2007 17:23

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KerryMum · 29/05/2007 17:25

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misdee · 29/05/2007 17:26

KM you are just making me go 'arrrrrrrrgh' at the screen.

gess · 29/05/2007 17:26

I interviewed someone (potential help) a night after I'd had one hours sleep (ds1 was up from between 1am and 3am for the rest of the night) every night from Dec- March. I was completely incoherent, I remember being mortified that I coudn't even pretend to function in a normal way and speak coherently to a stranger. Luckily all 3 children were at school/nursery that day- it was the first time I've felt incapable of speech from exhaustion. Agree that lack of sleep can explain almost any behaviour.

KerryMum · 29/05/2007 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tamum · 29/05/2007 17:28

Yes but most people are speculating with some compassion.

misdee · 29/05/2007 17:30

gess, have been like that as well. sometimes i can barely follow a conversation, and am just going through the motions. i then make silly mistakes like putting my mobile in the freezer, washing my purse, ironing the cat.

or even leaving dd3 in the car, getting to the front door and thebn realising she is missing.

PetronellaPinkPants · 29/05/2007 17:31

ok let's have a list of your fuck ups and we will judge you in the way you are judging this woman shall we?

Grrrr · 29/05/2007 17:32

I disagree, luck does have something to do with it. The mother was very unlucky that no-one spotted the baby in the car in the early stages. Maybe they did and just assumed the baby was sleeping with a watchful parent nearby, maybe there is a passer by sobbing at home, feeling bad that they assumed the baby was asleep and that they didn't look for the parent.

You're still judging the situation.

PARP

KerryMum · 29/05/2007 17:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PetronellaPinkPants · 29/05/2007 17:33

Goodness me
what a weirdo

KerryMum · 29/05/2007 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PetronellaPinkPants · 29/05/2007 17:36

I do but you clearly have a 2 second memory and can't remember what you said a few posts ago.

Fortunately I have to go home now so am delighted to leave you to your judging (funny how you don't want to be judged yourself but are happy to dish it out)

beckybrastraps · 29/05/2007 17:38

Luck has everything to do with it. Luck is the difference between my 'funny story' about when I forgot I had a dd and left her in a garden centre, and this tragic event. Luck is me meeting my husband who fortunatley did remember we had another child and sprinted off to get her. Luck is me leaving her in a garden centre and not in the car.

KerryMum · 29/05/2007 17:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinymum · 29/05/2007 17:39

The bottom line is, nobody will be able to do anything to this mother that is any worse than having to live with the knowledge that your actions killed your baby.

PetronellaPinkPants · 29/05/2007 17:41

dahling I was only using your words

"And there are many types of fuck ups I'm more than capable of making or even have made."

Otter · 29/05/2007 17:42

i dont understand why he died?
my baby sleeps the night without being dehydrated - it is only may? why so quick?

sparklygothkat · 29/05/2007 17:44

Maybe it was hot in belgium?