Tragic case of stressed mother leaving her child alone in car

[GiantSquirrelSpotter]

www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=458063&in_page_id=1811

This is a dreadful case, but what I found quite heartening, is that the Belgian child protection authorities have not immediately bayed for the mother's blood; they've responded with compassion, not condemnation, acknowledging that tragic mistakes happen and forgetfulness does not equal lack of love.

I just wish the English could learn a bit about compassion in cases like this.

Agree with you 100% GDG. I can understand forgetting and driving straight to work, I can even go along with getting out of the car without noticing the baby, but I cannot understand how anyone could go 8 hours without thinking about their baby and realising that they missed out the nursery in the morning.

People here tend to say, who are you to criticise? are you a perfect mother? Well, in this case, if perfection is not forgetting your child for 8 hours (or even 8 minutes) than i am happy to announce I am pefect.

I'm not sure it's really that rare. I think it happens, as someone said, in places like the Southern US, and in South Africa, quite a bit. Only comes to national attention when it leads to tragedy. Usually some passer-by sees the child and raises the alarm.

I remember a case in Cape Town last year. The only thing considered unusual was that the car was parked at a remote part of a university campus, so nobody noticed the baby.

I'm with oliveoil - can't see how people are making huge analysis into it and I wish it would go away. Feel so sick and horrible for both the mum and the baby.

I agree totally that this is SO sad, poor baby and how on earth do you live with yourself after this - I feel sick just thinking about it.

BUT if she has other dependant children whilst it is important that she is treated with compassion, she has lost a child fgs, it is also important that the safety of the other children is assessed.

Yeah - she obviously completely blanked on the fact that she hadn't dropped off the baby. Probably went through the day as usual, with nothing to remind her that something that morning hadn't been as usual. And yeah, she fucked up, but I feel so sorry for her. I've completely blanked on things - lucky for me, nothing that critical. We all fuck up now and then. For most of us, we're lucky that it's just leaving the immersion turned on, or the key in the door overnight or something. mostly we get away with it. Lucky us

I am with Kathy here....the fact that she drove back to Nursery in the evening means that for whatever reason she went through the day in belief that she had done as she would always do, i.e. dropped the poor lil soul off at Nursery, tehrefore, if she was thinking about her Kids in teh day, it just wouldn't have klicked....!
Thank god that most of the time those of us that are failing to remember to do things for whatever reason do NOT have to face such consequences. And those that this could never happen to them....well...I truely hope so, of course.

Must say, wiht me it's usually the other way round, i.e. I have, for whatever reason, no KIds with me, and as that as so rare, I have often looked for them and even getting really scared for not seeing them, thinking I have forgotten them, only to realise that indeed they were save elsewhere....

strange that not one person who walked past the car noticed, it said she parked on the street.

poor baby. how could you forgive yourself?

terrible for everyone concerned

I personally think that it is rather dangerous to be so complacent that you would never do X. If you are that certain that it wouldn't happen, if the time should come when you did accidentally do X, you would be so sure it couldn't possibly happen to you, that you wouldn't think back over your actions to make sure you did everything you were supposed to do.

christ! have just read through.

nice to know we have some perfect moms among us

i only have 2 and there have been days where my head is spinning with everything i need to remember. there comes a point where your're not seeing your surroundings, you're just moving from A to B to C on autopilot so i can imagine how you could think you'd dropped off the baby and simply not notice that you haven't.

the last line of the OP seems to have been pretty accurate doesn't it?

i hope to god you never fuck up like this kerrymum, but if you do i hope you get more sympathy and empathy thatn you seem to be capable of giving

The people who are claiming that they would never do this, what are they suggesting happened here? That she did it deliberately?

A friend of mine turned up for work one day, parked the car and was just getting out when I mentioned 'Oi you daft bird, DD is still in the back'.

It can happen and I don't believe this poor poor woman should be lambasted - kerrymum, you should be ashamed of yourself.

I expect that the woman herself, if asked last week, would never in a million years think it would be possible that she could do such a thing.

As i said before this is a horrifying story. If that were me (thank god it is not) i would not want sympathy.

Hopefully it will make people think about what is truely important in life!

I put my career on hold to be a mum, i do still work but from home as i did not want to be seeing my children as i dropped them off and picked them up from a childminder. To me that is not parenting that is just surviving.

I understand to a lot of people that is not possible but to think i was in such a precious job that i couldn't give my children a second thought for 8 /10/12 hours is just not an option.

I feel for this poor woman, it must be heartbreaking for her. She may have had to work to make ends meet, but no one deserves to be in a situation where they are so out of it they forget their children for a day.

Kerrysmum, don;t you ever make mistakes?? You seem to be so perfect!!

The other day, dd2 had a hospital appointment at 10am, I dropped the other 2 at school and forgot I had dd2 still in the car, when I got to the shops, it was only when she shouted at me, that I realised.

When Dd1 was at SN nursery, she went in a taxi and was dropped home each day, apart from tuesday when I would pick her up so I could see the teacher etc. Anyway it got to 12:15pm one tuesday and I was wondering where the taxi was, when the nursery phoned me and asked if I was picking her up It was a mistake which was due to the regular routine that I was used to.

Thhis poor woman made a mistake a horrible mistake, but it is so easy done...

mumoftwoangels its not really about having a job that 'is so precious I wouldn't give my children a secondt hought'. I love my job adn don't think about my children when Im there because I know my childminder is fantastic and they will be having a great time. I sometimes say 'oh ds loves that song' or 'dd needsd a haircut' but I never think 'are they ok?' 'did I remember to drop them off?'
If she genuinely thought she'd dropped baby off then why would she think about him in that way during day?
It also surprises me that none noticed baby in car - passers by etc.

I think people are making an awful lot of assumptions about the personal situation of this mother.

It is a tragedy, and she will live with the consequences for the rest of her life.

oh it's not just about work is it though. The time I forgot to pick up ds3 I'd been in DS1's school that morning (where there are many very profoundly disabled children) and I was just lost in thought about that, whilst rushing through the motions of having to shop before ds1's school bus got home.

Who knows what else is going on in this woman's life? I more often do what 3andnomore describes, drive along and then suddenly panic "OMG I've forgotten a child" and then remember they're somewhere else, but I don't think I'm incapable of doing something incredibly stupid because of other pressures.

I think you've made your point, KM.

i dont think anyone was glossing anything over about the baby.

I think there is a fine line between answering and harping on, frankly.
Of course no-one was glossing over the suffering of the baby.

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