Tragic case of stressed mother leaving her child alone in car

[GiantSquirrelSpotter]

www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=458063&in_page_id=1811

This is a dreadful case, but what I found quite heartening, is that the Belgian child protection authorities have not immediately bayed for the mother's blood; they've responded with compassion, not condemnation, acknowledging that tragic mistakes happen and forgetfulness does not equal lack of love.

I just wish the English could learn a bit about compassion in cases like this.

Surely you don't have to think you are perfect just because you don't forget your baby in the car for several hours.

Fairymum, it's the 'I would never make a mistake like that' attitude that is so grating.

You wouldn't do it deliberately. Sure. Who would? That's why Kerrymum's links were a waste of time - no-one on here needs convincing that it is not nice for babies to die of dehydration and hyperthermia.

But to be so certain you would never do it by accident? How do you know? Maybe you have just never experienced the kind of exhaustion or stress that makes someone forget the thing that is most precious in the world to them.

If not, then lucky you. However I think your belief that you would never do it is both naive and arrogant.

I was fine until I had ds3, now I forget the simplest things all the time. I've driven right past ds3 at nursery (on the way to pick him up then Sainsburys) only reaslised I'd forgotten him when I got to Sainsburys.

Anyone who can't understand how this (tragic and awful) could happen through some really dreadful error obviously isn't really juggling lots of different things. That's how it happens.

kerrymum the poor woman probably though she was 'coping' and didn't see a need to 're-evaluate her lifestyle'. How patronising to think you know how this woman was operating. There by the grace of God go I...

She forgot. Yest the baby suffered - we didnt need your link to see that but considering you 'would throw yourself off a bridge' if this happened to you, do you really think she was neglectful?? she didn't know she'd done it!

I quite often drive along and think "oh god whcih child have I got with me" or "where's the baby gone, oh its ok he's at nursery". I never used to until I had ds3 and started working again- I know its a sign I'm juggling too much, but unfortunately I can't just send ds3 away (nor would I want to, so I carry on juggling and forgetting simple things).

And the surviving children Kerrymum? What do you think they would make of that?

What a tragic story.
I hope this woman gets plenty of support to enable her to care safely for her other children.

exactly gess! we all juggle - thats what mums do. and the more children you have the more jugglig you do. Thats life.

What a bizzarre place MN has become when you are told you are arrogant just because you say you would never forget about your child like this. She might not be mentally well and that's different. It's just strange to claim that this is something which could happen to anyone of us if we are a bit stressed.

I dont think I would ever forget but I can truly understand how it might happen. As some posters have already said they have forgotten to pick children up, drop them off at nursery etc. Im not saying this is common (however I do work in a school and have lost count of the number of times I have had to take children home or call parents because they have forgotten their children.

I was 'mentally well'. I forgot I had a dd. And that's why I think you can't say "I wouldn't do it". Are you in fact suggesting that she didn't forget about him?

Well shoot me, but I don't think its acceptable to "forget" to pick your children up from school either.

Kerrymum - I have to say, i think you should parp yourself, no-one on this thread agrees with you, some people do not have a choice about working vs sah, maybe just maybe her life wasn't working out so great and choices weren't available?

So if she tops herself her remaining children will have lost thier mum and brother in one week?!! Not forgetting her family and husband?

It's such a tragic story and of course no mother would ever want that to happen and she probably will never forgive herself but what if she is finding it hard to cope and comes here for support as alot of mothers do, what if she comes across this thread?

Do you only have 1 child?

oh well better take m 3 kids into care then FairyMum as I have driven straight past ds3 once.

I dont think its acceptable to forget to collect children from school either fairy mum but it happens! and more than you probably realise - and the parents who forget aren't bad parents!

It's probably what i'd feel like doing but really that would be so selfish of me i wouldn't be able to do it because as a mother somewhere along the way you tend to lose the ability to be selfish because putting your children's wants and needs comes first, no matter what.

I don't think anyone can ever say that "X would never happen to me" - life just isn't that certain.

And if it makes it a witch hunt to withhold judgement on a suffering woman and instead recognise the tragic nature of human imperfection, then hand me a pitchfork. Condemning her won't bring her baby back or stop other similar accidents happening.