Tragic case of stressed mother leaving her child alone in car

[GiantSquirrelSpotter]

www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=458063&in_page_id=1811

This is a dreadful case, but what I found quite heartening, is that the Belgian child protection authorities have not immediately bayed for the mother's blood; they've responded with compassion, not condemnation, acknowledging that tragic mistakes happen and forgetfulness does not equal lack of love.

I just wish the English could learn a bit about compassion in cases like this.

How utterly awful
She must have been in such a state, in such a mess to have forgotten her child was in the car for this lenght of time.
I feel sick for her. What a thing to come back to the car and find you've done Poor, poor woman

and dont you think that poor mother will suffer the rest of her life thinking about that kerrymum?

Kerrymum,

Are you a WOHM ?

I only have 2 children but I work almost full-time in a job with deadline after deadline needing to be met and staff to be managed. I do all the dropping off and picking up of both children and remembering who needs what where and when, including my grumpy husbands stuff too. He has no idea about the jumble my brain is sometimes in and accuses me of "having a headful of broken biscuits" if I've forgotten something or am late arriving somewhere.

Left to my dh, we wouldn't function as efficiently as we do as sometimes he forgets that the smallest child needs milk at certain times/ a fresh nappy etc etc. He pisses me off mightily with his lack of appreciation of how hard the whole full-time juggling thing is and what it can do to your memory.

I wouldn't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

Don't you think that poor mother is torturing herself with the thought of her baby suffering, she's a mother, it goes without saying she is probably thinking of nothing else.

when dh and myself worked, he was meant to drop dd1 off at nannies on two days a week. he forgot several times, getting to work and relaising that dd1 was still in the car.

so sad poor women awful thing to happen. I once dropped d/d off to nursery and left pram at side of the road drove off with d/d2 transfered into car seat. It was still there thankfully. stress and no sleep makes you do strange things. It's just awful.

I left dd in a shop once when she was a baby. I forgot I had her. I mean, I forgot I had two children now rather than the one I had taken out of the shop. People laugh when I tell the story, because fortunately I net dh outside the shop and he went in to get her. God knows how far I'd have got if I hadn't been meeting him.

How awful. Poor woman.

I do find it hard to believe that she managed to see the baby in the car when she dropped the older kids at school, then completely forget about him for the rest of the day, never once thinking about him and jogging her memory, that is just odd.

I do feel sorry for the woman, as she obviously will have to live with this for the rest of her life, but I just find it so hard to believe that she forgot about him all day.

I don't know what to say. Of course it is awful. But I had no PND, wasn't working, wasn't even particularly sleep deprived. I just utterly forgot dd's existence.

But thanks for all the stuff about the horrible way he died

God, yes. I agree with Kerrymom

Poor woman and poor Baby and poor family!
What an awful thing to happen.
As she had driven to Nursery in the evening, it's pretty save to say that she truely must have thought she had dropped the lil one off there.
And I can see how that can happen...no matter if it was your first or 10th child....I know that sometimes I put things into weird places or forget to do teh packed lunch for es until he asked me if I have done it for him...usually those things happen if I am tired and things don't roll up in the usual routine...it just needs to be one little thing on a busy morning and you can be out of sync with your usual actions...well....in my experience anyway.
Probably would have helped to have the carseat (especially as it was a rearfacing one)on the frontseat (but do realise that that isn't always an option if you have airbags you can't turn off, etc....)!
A tragic accident, and just can't hep but feel sorry for them all!

Kerrymum - of course the child suffered horribly, I hardly think pointing out exactly how much he suffered and how long he screamed for is helpful to anyone, we're all intelligent grown up women. Yes that child would have suffered, horrifically, personally I can't allow myself to think about that in too great a detail being pregnant I'm more homonal and emoptional than usual so not good for me to do.

All I'm able to do is feel awful for the motrher who has this awful guilt she'll have to live with and think about what a mess she must have been in to have done this. Whatever her reaon for alledgedly 'forgetting' her child she must have been in a desperate mess to do such a thing.

Sometimes I drive along and think 'shit is DD1 still in the car?' and I'd already have dropped her off at teh childminders. My MIL left her 3rd and youngest child (my DP) in a pram outsuide a shop when he was a baby. She walked all the way home and unpacked the shopping befoire she realised he was missing! I've taken my eye off DD1 in a library and she's walked out and got nto the main road.

There for the grace of God go I.

There have been times when I've been going along in the car and suddenly been overtaken by a sense of panic - with 4 to ferry around to various schools and other places I sometimes get the feeling I ought to be somewhere else, or have picked someone up from somewhere, or failed to make arrangements for one of them. It always (so far) turns out to be a false alarm but sure freaks me out at the time.

The poor woman - probably had so many things to do and think about, she thought she had already done the most important ones .

I really can't bear to think about what that child went through, and can't bring myself to read kerrymum's links as it would haunt me, but assuming he was suffering, why didn't anyone passing notice and raise the alert? the article says the car was parked outside the laundry, surely someone went past in 8 hours? if they did, and did nothing....may the wee soul rest in peace now.

Just makes you want to cry. I shouldn't read these threads I find them so upsetting.

kerrymum it must be nice to be so perfect you can critisise and look down your nose at others

Don't think that anyone who says they are sorry for the mum, doesn't realise the sufferance of the poor BAby....of course that poor little one died so tragically and must have suffered so much....