Does anyone think its odd that as fewere peopel go to church

[pedro]

oyu get more of this slithgly odd public mournign flowers byt the road lighting candles thing

I watched that programme Fio. I have lost a child and i know the place she died is just as sacred to me as her little grave and in a way i feel closer to her at the place of her death than i do where her body is.iyswim

I am really not sentimental about animals as a rule tortoiseshell but having spent a lovely day there with friends and seen her I was sad to hear she had died
Not sure I'm a book of condolences sort of person myself however

you are talking about Wendy!

dd1 was GUTTED

I have to confess marina, that I was sad but with a sort of smirk when I saw the book that I quickly repressed for my sad face. It was really sad she died, she was lovely...

Ds1 still mentions Wendy when we go past the enclosure.

(now feeling callous and bad for smirking...)

I fess up enid, so was I
About a week after our trip I found out Tom had died and our lovely day in Brisle with ds and some friends was the last fun outing we had for some time. so I have especially fond memories of Wendy

Oh marina - sorry to bring it up. x

It's an extremely British attitude isn't it? that grief is private, unspoken, unshowy, quiet and contemplative. and somehow any other sort of display is showing off, not genuine and competitive.

I personally like the fact that as a society we are a bit less uptight about things. And that sometimes the grief at a tragic event is felt and displayed by a community.

I agree with every word there Fio.
I can't even travel on the same train line as King's now. I don't ever want to go near that place again. I think it's very courageous to be able to go back amyjade.

She died at a children's hospice so it is a beautiful, wonderfull place anyway. Maybe if she had died in the Paediatric icu then it might not be so comforting to revisit where she died.

there is a supermarket near me beside a dual carriageway. one day a wee boy and his pal went to see the wee boys mum who worked on the checkout. they chatted for a minute then the wee boy and his pal ran out straight on to the dual carriageway. the wee boys pal ran back intp the supermarket to tell his pals mum he had been hit by a car. he died.

she planted a rose bush on the side of the dual carriageway, better than flowers that die she said

amyjade -

Flowers by the roadside have actually caused accidents where we live in Scotland, from people slowing down or stopping to view them. The police force has ask people to remove them after a short period of time but a black marble gravestone even appeared at one 'shrine'.

Here in N Ireland there are a lot of flowers at roadsides, mini crosses etc. Also a number of memorial things on roads due to Troubles. I do think that as people increasingly 'don't do' religion, death forces them to face human mortality and they need some outlet for their thoughts and feelings (I say this as a Christian btw)

I agree the flowers can be a distraction, especially when they're sort of tied on and flapping in the wind. In the south they have signs on roads saying things like 34 people killed on County Louth roads in the last year etc - these are v effective to think about the dangers

We have a roadside bunch of flowers for a young motorist who died, recently she had a 21st birthday balloon there. it is in a dangerous place, I wonder how safe it is for the family to be there. But I don notice it when I pass and think about her - she was overtaking.

I think, and I may be wrong, that there are far more 'rememberances' and reminders of a child that has died than 'just a spot in the road'.

A local family left flowers at every 'landmark' date for their teenage daughter who was killed at a local accident blackspot when a car mounted the road and knocked her down. They continued to do so until a speed camera was sited there, and, inevitably accidents reduced.

When a friend was knocked down and killed by a drink driver (repeat offender), doing 70mph in a 30mph they too wanted a memorial sign there (apparently you can get them from a foundation/charity that is involved with the aftermath of road accidents). Firstly to show that it wasnt some 'insignificant' spot in the street, just like any other - it was where their son's life was ripped from them cruelly at the age of 33. It was also a reminder to drivers and pedestrians alike that the road is a very dangerous place. Someone kept taking the sign down.

hmm...don't think ghoulishness has increased at all (ref day trips to Hungerford etc). Tudors were very happy to watching hideous beheadings and worse and have days out to do so, and Victorians were immensely sentimental and superstitious.

Lots of shrines in Catholic countries too - in churches and out.

I don't think there is any competition going on but also I don't think it's grief. Nor is it compassion.

agree with Issymum's post of 11.06.