Does anyone think its odd that as fewere peopel go to church

[pedro]

oyu get more of this slithgly odd public mournign flowers byt the road lighting candles thing

Flowers on the roadside though at least remind people that cars kill and might contribute to someone slowing down. But then, so do speed cameras

And why not Enid.
If someone lost a relative in a road accident becasue someone had been driving too fast along a stretch of road, then why not make a point to other drivers? In anger or whatever reason they want. It's their grief and they can express it how they like. You have the right to keep yours in and they have the right to wail in the streets if they want to.

Yes, that is a good point Ekra.

Thanks Fio

It makes me think when I see them.
It's like a sign saying 'warning, someone just lost their life here'.

Imagine it was your young child who had died at the side of the road wouldn't you want to mark the spot where their life ended?

no I would not

I do think there is competitive grief. When Jill Dando was murdered I remember someone at work (it was no surprise to me who it was) being really devastated by it, because she was a 'huge fan'.

Our zoo had a book of condolence when their elephant was put down.

I would want to keep it private

would HATE to think of strangers knowing about her tbh

That's fine, I probably wouldn't either but I don't think anything if someone does want to mark the spot, and many, many do.

so what else are you banned from saying Pedro - can you do freakazoid? freakfest? and other derivations of the 'f-word'?

I dont think it is odd to want to do it

I totally understand why people do

but agree that when it goes on for years that people might need help letting go

I guess for some marking the spot they actually died means more, or the same as, marking a grave.

Tortoise - "Our zoo had a book of condolence when their elephant was put down."

Please tell me you are joking?!!!?

Did anyone see that documentary on Channel 4 about the A49 in Lincolnshire?
A really powerful but restrained look at how families deal with the aftermath of a fatal road accident.
I think a lot of us find it an easier catharsis to cry at the loss of an acquaintance, as Fio says. I cried more at the funeral of a friend's partner (whom I had barely got to know ) than I did at Tom's.
It's not often I think this, especially nowadays on Mumsnet, but I realise I'm lucky to have my faith at times like these. I'm not a big public display person either but church every Sunday does help. Prayer is quiet but heartfelt.

Perhaps that family pass that spot that they lost their son or daughter at every day and it helps them to leave flowers there, makes them feel better in some samll way, more than leaving flowers at a grave ever would.

nope. It was beside a skull of an elephant from 20 years ago, and my friend said 'oh look, there's a book of condolence for the elephant....and there she is....!!!'

but it is where htey died

personally I would find it distressing to constantly be reminded of how my dc died

would prefer a grave, at least they are at peace there

Yes, you're probably right Thomcat. Sometimes though, its all old stuff and then its just an over sensitive council. Or a lazy one.

Ekra, the zoo and the elephant were something particular in the life of the city Tortoiseshell refers to.
The elephant was much-loved by everyone. She was the zoo's big character.

Marina, you're right - she used to go for walks round the Downs!