AFTER THE PIT BULL THREAD ADVICE NEEDED DESPERATLY...

[kittylette]

i need advice,

BIL and SIL have a rotweiller/alsation cross, its huge,

theyve just had a baby son

weve told them the dangers (shouldnt have to really) but they sent a pic of the tiny baby lay across the front paws of the dog

i have two sons and havent visted them for 2 years because i wont allow them near the dog

in my pre-kids days the dog attacked me, tried to bite me BIL had to physically beat the dog to subdue it away from me,

its not a nice dog

im fear for the safety of my nephew

should i phone someone?

social serices?

i dont want to but how would i feel if something happened?

when you first meet the dog, you have to sit low down on the floor with your arms crossed and not give it eye contact

surely thats not right?

sjould a dog like that be near a bay?

they say is soft as anytning, its a big baby

kitty, what did you think of the suggestion that you get others involved too before approaching them together? i do think reduces risk of your fears of being cut off / rejected for intervening....

my DF wont have any of it

now were fighting

ill end up loosong him too

i dunno what to do

do they not see the potential tragedy.......what is more important , the baby or the dog...

do really feel for you kitty

has your df read the thread? why does he think the dog won't be a danger to the baby?

I think forwarding them a copy of this thread is a good idea, but I can understand why you might not want to do that, because from what you've said about them, they probably wouldn't take much notice of all these comments, and then might get mad at you for discussing it. It is a horrible situation to be in, Kittylette, and I can well understand your concerns re falling out with your family, and causing a rift. I've got that in my family at the moment, totally different reasons, but my two Sisters aren't speaking, and one has said that she wants the other out of her life completely. However, forwarding the thread might give them something to think on. How old is the baby? Have they given you any indication as to how the dog is reacting to the baby so far? I don't know, it's very hard and very worrying. I don't know much about statistics, but it would seem that most of these dog attacks aren't the parents dog, but a relative or neighbour. But describing the dog as you did, all I know is that if I were your Nephew's Mum, I'd be very nervous right now. I love my dogs dearly, but if I thought either of them were a risk to any of my kids, I'd have to do something about it. Good luck, Kittylette, I hope you can reach a sloution soon.

Why is your partner rowing with you? surely he agrees that the dog is a danger.

i would advise that you go and visit them. explain how you feel exactly as you did in the email. dont mention reporting them to anyone.

if they are giving the same "the dog is fine" argument ask them to do the dolly test. if the dog really doesn't react then great, maybe we have all over reacted.
if it does the hopefully that will show them in very real terms just how easily something could happen.

if the dog does go for the dolly, ask your BIL to attempt to getthe doll away from the dog. that will show him how much damage the dog will do before he can do anything to help.

Its a frightening thought but looking at a dollyt with it inards hanging from a dogs mouth is a very realistic and horrifying vision

DF said it would be the most horrible ting in the world if something happened to the baby - but it would be there fault not ours

hes getting mad at me

everyones against me doing something

im even gonna get if off him too

im sorry but im not getting involved

he wont even phone him

so thats it

Just wanted to add, that I'm not playing the situation down, just trying to see it from all angles.

I agree with the dolly test. Would be well worth a go, and should prove very insightful.

Then i hope and pray that your DP never has to sit and look at his nephew in a coffin.

agree mamazon......he is your flesh and blood, you are involved, you have emailed them and disucssed it here...you know that doing nothing could cause irreparable loss and devastation.........so sorry your DF cannot see that

why not get DF to go and lie down in front of the dog, poke it in the neck, pull himself up using the dog's ears, jam an elbow into his eye and then say 'ooh, those white shiny things in your mouth look interesting, Fang, I wonder what they are?' and then put his fingers into the dog's mouth?

that is, after all, what you know a child will be doing in less than a year's time.

if your DF thinks it'll be fine then perhaps he'll check that out for his DN. the least he could do, surely?

BUT WHAT IM BASICALLY SAYING IS 'I WANT YOU TO GET RID OF YOUR DOG - IF YOU DONT ILL GET THE AUTHORITIES INVOLED'

HOW CAN I THREATEN THEM LIKE THAT THEN EXPECT TO CARRY ON AS A FAMILY WITH THEM

oops caps

what you dont uunderstand is HOW MUCH they love the dog too

it's a nightmare for you, kitty. an absolute nightmare. i'm disappointed that you are the only one in the family that can see the danger. what about FiL? or any other family members?
you said before that everyone has told them... who is everyone?
and does df approve of the fact that you haven't let your own children go there in the last two years?

I think everyone should give up, she's not going to do anything. Even she was standing up for the dog..."he just went to bite me" and as for the man beating the poor animal til it urinated, how can anyone think this is normal dog owning behaviour?

This is what happens when just anyone can go get and animal that could kill. I wish they'd bring in dog licenses again. And make people prove they are worthy of owning, training and caring all breeds of dog

The whole family sound like they are not worthy of any creature (dog, child or ant) Totally clueless.

Shame she hasn't given out any details, I'd report them whether she wants someone to or not

This is a child at risk and I don't care how harsh I sound, this is a tragedy waiting to happen

(and yes I have dogs...small now but big in the past and my sister owns German Shepherds)

he knows the dogs a danger, he hates the dog (im talking about my partner here) he knows its a danger

but sadly his attitude is 'its not my problem'

I know this might sound a bit mad, but I would be seriously tempted to poison the fecking dog... or pay someone else to.

Have you had any reply to your email yet.. which, by the way, was very well written and you came across as totally caring and genuine.

ive NEVR defended the dog,

i meant he just went to bite me as in suddenly NOT as in 'it was only a bote'

bite even

I understand it's hard for your DF. I think he's angry with you because he knows what you are saying is right and that you need to do something.

All this talk of it being their "fault" if the dog attacks this baby is irrelevant though - if and when this occurs, I know you won't be standing by his coffin thinking "I told you so" - I know you won't, and I'm pretty sure your DF won't either.

Imagine your children were at this much risk - you'd want someone to stop that, wouldn't you?

i do understand,. i have two dogs. if one of them was a danger to children, or my sister would not visit with her child, i would be thinking very hard about my choices...especaily if someone brought it to my attention

for all you know,they have read the email, taken it on board and are discussing what to do

a good friend rehoused her terrier when it snapped at her and bit her, when her first LO was a baby as she could not live with herslef if the dog turned on the baby...