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Original poster

AFTER THE PIT BULL THREAD ADVICE NEEDED DESPERATLY...

309 replies

kittylette · 04/01/2007 15:50

i need advice,

BIL and SIL have a rotweiller/alsation cross, its huge,

theyve just had a baby son

weve told them the dangers (shouldnt have to really) but they sent a pic of the tiny baby lay across the front paws of the dog

i have two sons and havent visted them for 2 years because i wont allow them near the dog

in my pre-kids days the dog attacked me, tried to bite me BIL had to physically beat the dog to subdue it away from me,

its not a nice dog

im fear for the safety of my nephew

should i phone someone?

social serices?

i dont want to but how would i feel if something happened?

when you first meet the dog, you have to sit low down on the floor with your arms crossed and not give it eye contact

surely thats not right?

sjould a dog like that be near a bay?

they say is soft as anytning, its a big baby

OP posts:
Caligula · 08/01/2007 22:34

Don't they though, Shimmy.

Gobsmacking

roberta3 · 08/01/2007 22:55

Think Shimmy and others right. Looks like the authorities can't do anything until an incident actually takes place - God forbid.

Need to focus on needs of dog, rather than child as they do seem to be putting dog first and burying heads in the sand about the potential danger.

What about stressing how much time a baby takes up and how it will be impossible to exercise/play with the dog like they have in the past.Could n't it be rehoused nearby and visits made?

Know this is a bit naive and simplistic but unless you get a contract out on the dog (now there's an idea!) your hands are tied. You cannot be weighed down by guilt over someone else's decision.

However, I must take issue with you over the description of your SIL as a fantastic mother (or words to that effect). Sorry, putting a child at risk certainly does not make you a good parent.

nothercules · 08/01/2007 22:57

A good mother does her best to ensure her child is not put in unnecessary danger. I repeat what I said earlier about being unable to be best friends with this person.

jajas · 08/01/2007 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummyPenguin · 09/01/2007 00:01

This really is a tough one, isn't it? I have read all this thread, and been following it with interest. From what Kitty's said about the baby's parents, I think it's highly unlikely that they're going to get rid of their dog because a few family members have concerns. They're just not seeing any danger. Kitty's already said that they love the dog very much, and I can in a way understand their reluctance to get rid of it just like that. Yes, they've got this new baby now, but to rehome their dog is obviously not something that they're going to do hastily, and if they do it at all, it's going to take some coming around to the idea. You know what? They've got a new baby, and all the tiredness, emotions, hormones (for Mum) and everything that goes with it. It's their first baby, isn't it? I remember how I felt when I had my first. Like I was from another planet. They've probably not given much thought to the whole dog v baby issue, they're trying to get their heads round having a new demanding little person to care for. As someone else pointed out, hundreds of tiny babies live with large dogs who may or may not be a potential risk. I know this one is different to some extent, because it has shown previous aggression and has dominance issues. As for Kitty, I don't think there's a lot more she can do. I can't see a newspaper running a story at this stage. Perhaps the best that we can hope for is that the parents do finally see some risk to their child and find the dog a suitable home, or failing that, please God no harm comes to the baby.

hunkermunker · 09/01/2007 00:11

I think I would have to run the dog over. I'm really not being flippant here - I'd rather a dead dog on my conscience (and bumper) than a dead nephew

hunkermunker · 09/01/2007 00:12

Can I just clarify that by saying I'd only do that if they refuse to do anything - obviously if he's on his way to his new child-free home, I'd not do it!

MamazonAKAfatty · 09/01/2007 00:19

Do your BIL and SIL live in council or rented accomodation?

This is a very devious and rather long winded approach but i fear it is teh only way that would get through to them...ie theyhave no option BUT to get rid of the dog.

You keep writting and calling the landlord or council to complain about the dog. be it that it barks at all hours, snarls through the fence...even defecating on your lawn...whatever. give the impression thatyour a neighbour without giving anyhting away as to who you are...that way you aren't casuing trouble for anyone else.

if the complaints continue to come in then the landlord will tell them th dog must go as to keep the neighbours happy.

as i say its a very long winded approach and its incredibly devious but if it works..

jajas · 09/01/2007 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

floraflora · 09/01/2007 12:46

Have been following this thread with interest. There's lots of good advice and cunning lateral thinking here... and I think the sense of an urgent need for action. However, I think it is possible that baby's mum might come to the decision to re-home the dog themselves, eventually. Obviously we all hope that happens before it's too late. I've seen it before though in 2 situations. 1st, sister of friend had a similar mutt, rotty cross something, possibly alsatian, got from RSPCA at about 2 years old, previous history unknown. Big, strong dog, generally soppy but a bit unreliable, with postmen especially I think. Dog was doted upon. Slept upstairs, was play-fought with, though one did not HAVE to be submissive before it. Bitch not dog though too. Anyway, baby no. 1 came along, dog seemed okay with him, but still had this slightly unrelaible streak. Baby's mum was obviously aware of this and one day the dog just went - given to a good home - relatives of family where she got spoilt rotten. 2nd story, small snappy JR type thing. Baby arrived, various people told mother dog was unreliable, dog still around, then when baby was getting near crawling stage, decision was made suddenly and dog given to a friend.
Unless these people are incredibly stupid and deliberately blind to the danger, it IS possible that all kitty's concern hasn't fallen on deaf ears, they just need to come to the decision themselves - and probably know dog is going to a good home.
I have a dog and a 6.5 month old who is now VERY intereted in her, he talks to her and always tries to reach out to touch her, grabs handfuls of ears whenever possible. She is very tolerant and has never once given me cause of concern in 9 years but I do 'manage' their interaction. Its this stage which is perhaps the most dangerous - when the baby wants to interact with the dog and doesn't know how to be gentle.
Let's hope that the problem resolves itself before then.
Good luck Kitty, maybe the drip-drip-drip effect will work, so don't give up.

MummyPenguin · 09/01/2007 12:51

Well said jajas

poppiesinaline · 09/01/2007 13:48

agree with jajas.

Kitty has done everything imo, she can to sort this horrid situation out. I can completely see it from Kitty's point of view.

She has brought it to her SILs attention and urged them to do something about it. At the end of the day, its their choice, not Kitty's.

helenhismadwife · 09/01/2007 19:47

After reading this thread (I didnt see the picture)I thought I would say that your bil & sil should be submissive to the dog, you dont sound intelligent enough to be 'leaders of the pack'

Kitty I totally understand your dilema, from the sound of it you are quite close to your sil, why not say to her that you really want to report this to the authorities because you are so concerned but wont because the rest of your family is against it, and you love them so much that you cant stand the thought of destroying it or causing a rift.

zephyrcat · 09/01/2007 20:48

How are you Kitty? Did you hear back from the email? Hope u ok x

Original poster
kittylette · 09/01/2007 20:49

no nothing,

i think shes pissed at me

OP posts:
zephyrcat · 09/01/2007 20:55

Hope not. She will realise that you only had little man's best interests at heart.

hairymclary · 09/01/2007 21:17

good god, have just read this entire thread and I cannot believe that you aren't going to do anything.

I'll watch out for the "my nephew has been killed" thread.
I wonder if you'll still think you were right to do nothing then.

hairymclary · 09/01/2007 21:18

sorry, if that sounds harsh. This has really got to me though.
anyone who doesn't do anything to protect this child is as guilty as the parents who keep the dog IMO.

Clarinet60 · 09/01/2007 22:35

MN is read by a lot of people, inc media people. (India Knight springs to mind). It has struck me more than once whilst reading this thread that the cat may well be out of the bag already, without anyone doing anything.

Original poster
kittylette · 10/01/2007 17:52

i doubt theres much of a story without names, adresses ect

breaking bbc news ... unknown parents, somewhere in the world have big dog near baby

OP posts:
MummyPenguin · 10/01/2007 19:54

I was thinking similar, Kitty. It's not very likely, is it?

jajas · 10/01/2007 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clarinet60 · 10/01/2007 22:53

That's all right then

Clarinet60 · 10/01/2007 23:07

From Blu:
'Also my googling revealed a page from the clevelad police, who say they will advise about rights over dangerous dogs...so presumably your local police will too. And their site says that if ever you know of a child in danger, call the police.'

She can call the police. Let them be the judge of what should be done. And she won't be saying 'erm, I want to report that my sil has a dog and erm she has a baby too' - she'll be saying something along the lines of her opening posts.

if ever you know of a child in danger, call the police.

  • Has a bit of a ring to it, don't you think?
hairymclary · 10/01/2007 23:07

quite. she shouldn't do anything then.

and when the baby is mauled and possibly killed by the dog then she'll be safe in the knowledge that she couldh ave tried to prevent it but didn't.

glad that's sorted

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