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Rebecca Minnock - on the run with child after court battle

999 replies

BreakingDad77 · 11/06/2015 11:16

Is this one of those cases we wont get to the bottom of as to whether she is someone with MH problems or scheming father driving her to them?

OP posts:
ashtrayheart · 13/06/2015 10:41

Source?
Funny really, how little empathy you are showing to those with bpd who post on mumsnet.

aintgonnabenorematch · 13/06/2015 10:45

No it isn't. Characteristic of anti - social or narcissistic PD? - sometimes yes.

BPD. No.

CornwallsFinest · 13/06/2015 10:47

My ex stepmother made up that my dad was sexually abusing my half brother to stop him getting contact. My mum told me a few years ago that after Dad and ex SM split (my dad had an affair) the police contacted her and asked if she had concerns of any abuse towards me whilst in the care of my dad. The answer was no of course but it didn't stop ex SM disappearing after their divorce with my half brother for 15 years.

My half brother got in contact with us a few years ago, which was when my mum told me why they disappeared. He told me all the stuff my ex SM told him - our dads family wanted nothing to do with him amongst other stuff. It was all lies and his relationship with his mum was strained after he realised she had lied all those years.

Moral of the story: the truth comes out eventually and it's the child who suffers.

I have no sympathy for Rebecca.

KDS0401 · 13/06/2015 10:49

Also how dreadful that when he grows up and googles his name, this is what he will find.

My feelings precisely. And a child doesn't need to be very old to Google (my son has been doing it since he was six). And what about Nathan's school friends? They're all going to see it too.

RM has given her son an awful inheritance he can do little about until he is an adult. Shame on her Shock

Spero - thank you for all your time and effort spent injecting sense into this thread (£20 not required, spend it on yourself, you've earned it Smile)

sonnyson12 · 13/06/2015 10:49

How am I showing a lack of empathy by stating that this mother is showing a lack of empathy towards her child and the father?

sonnyson12 · 13/06/2015 10:54

I thought that too KDS

There is little chance of the child not knowing about her mothers despicable behaviour in the future.

ashtrayheart · 13/06/2015 10:54

Don't be disingenuous. You are showing a lack of empathy by equating bad behaviour with an illness that some people on mumsnet are affected by and already experience stigma from. How do you think your comments may make them feel or do you not care?

aintgonnabenorematch · 13/06/2015 11:37

There are also studies on pubmed that concluded people with BPD actually had enhanced empathy in comparison to controls.

People with BPD can seem to lack empathy because they appear selfish and sometimes don't show sympathy for others - because of the turmoil in their internal world. Sympathy and empathy are different.

ChaiseLounger · 13/06/2015 11:46

It says in the paper today (not that this means anything truthful) that all her neighbours say she is a fab mum. And neighbours say father didn't behave very well in the split , and that mum is being mid-portrayed.

I think there's more to this than meets the eye.

Mum MIGHT have Been treated badly, and a total mid-carriage of justice. Possibly. I suspect this MAY be the case.

sonnyson12 · 13/06/2015 11:46

It does seem to be a controversial issue, apologies to those I have offended.

sonnyson12 · 13/06/2015 11:49

Chaise, it is clear that is definitely not the case.

There is no evidence that the mother has been treated badly by the father.

Verena76 · 13/06/2015 11:50

making an Opinion about this case, just People can do, who have experienced such Situations!

If the father, would be a good father, than he would not have gone so far.
There are Parents who think, that stop communiction with each other and just act through the courts, solve the Problems.
The outcome, is a mother with her Kid on the run.
And: The day they catch her, the Child will never forget.
The Child will be traumatised for his whole live!
The Child will miss his mother, for a very long time and suffer under the circumstances.

I understand Rebecca 100% because I did the same.
I know what is coming to her!
I feel Sorry for the Kid.
She should surrender now, because every day longer, she stays on the run, is more imprisonment for her.
Do you know that she can be convicted for 7 years?
Contempt to court and childabduction by parent even more.... 9 years.
If she give up now, she may be get probation with a good solicitor, and in about two years she can have unsupervised contact
( when she plays the game properly )

Damage has been done, and there is no way out.

@Tennis
its mentally abusing.
To break the bound between a child and his mother, is damage and abusiv!
I will never forget, how much my son was screaming when I had to return him to his father, before I "abducted" him.
My boy was using hands and feets against me.
He stopt speaking and just communicated with me.
The "Professionells" diagnosed him than as autistic, without given any view to the background.

A father who really cares and loves his child, would never let all this happen.
A father who cares, would try to find a peacefull solution.
He would communicate with the mother and making agreements without the courts.
This would be in the interest of the child.

The Mother acted by her Mothersinstinct, and by advice of her relatives.

Many write here about "refusing contact to the father"
But it seems that they dont understand.
The child lived with his mother his whole live.
The Child has not the same bound with the father.
It will be a nightmare for the child, living in the care of a father where he has no propper relationship with.
At the moment, the Child is very Happy in the care of his mother.
The day he will be taken away, will cause damage to him.
They should start thinking about the child, and its emotionell needs.

I abducted my Son not, to stop him from having a relationship with his father.
I just could not hold out this nightmare anymore, to see my Son all the time suffer, when he had to go with his father.
Therefore I was arrested and extradited by International arrest warrant, had no contact with my son for 7 months, and 11 months Prison, including two mental health assessments ( one from the forensic )
because a Mother who is acting by her instinct must be mental ill.
My Psychiatrist was shocked, about the acting in my case, and I just hope that Rebecca will not experience the same.....

aintgonnabenorematch · 13/06/2015 11:51

I bet the Judge is kicking himself that he bothered with social workers and child Psychologists assessing her parenting when he could have just asked the neighbours.

Viviennemary · 13/06/2015 11:53

I think it's wrong that the papers are printing heresay from neighbours against this father. If the mother gets custody because of this then that gives every parent not awarded custody carte blanche to run off with their DC's in the hope they will get a more favourable verdict.

PatriciaHolm · 13/06/2015 11:56

"It will be a nightmare for the child, living in the care of a father where he has no propper relationship with. "

You are projecting your own circumstances on this.

The boy in this case knew his father well, in fact was living 4 nights a week with him and had been for some time. He knew his father at least as well as his mother, and I suspect some would argue he had a healthier emotional relationship with his Dad if the court was correct. The whole case was about the childs "emotional needs" and how the mother was neglecting them by trying to continually reduce/frustrate his time with his father.

sonnyson12 · 13/06/2015 11:57

Verena,

The mother is solely to blame for any trauma that the child may suffer.

It is damaging and abusive to break the bond between a child and father.

A father who really cares and loves his child would have done exactly what this father has done.

Absolutely nothing to do with 'mothers instinct' and everything to do with control.

sonnyson12 · 13/06/2015 11:58

aint Grin

TendonQueen · 13/06/2015 11:58

sonny Thanks for the apology. As I said, it's not even necessary to think RM has any particular condition - we can all see she has behaved foolishly in running away. It is just a real shame for me that Ethan has to suffer from all this and there is no good solution to that. I also read that Ethan's dad has had to leave his home because of the press attention which is also very unfair.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 13/06/2015 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sonnyson12 · 13/06/2015 12:04

Thanks Tendon,

I was projecting a wee bit there, I have experienced a very similar situation but fortunately without the abduction.

I really do not hold anything against people suffering with BPD, it's just that being on the receiving end of someone's shocking behaviour has somewhat blinkered my view.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 13/06/2015 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KDS0401 · 13/06/2015 12:12

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-33121969

I'm so very pleased to read that, and RM is lucky not to be under arrest!

firesidechat · 13/06/2015 12:17

I bet the Judge is kicking himself that he bothered with social workers and child Psychologists assessing her parenting when he could have just asked the neighbours.

Quite. The naivety from some posters is astonishing really.

ChaiseLounger · 13/06/2015 12:20

Some of the judgemental presumptions on this thread are shocking.

No one is condoning her abducting the child.
But I wonder what led her to do this? It may be that she is a particularly pathological individual, who went to any extreme to make sure her ex never got to see the ds. Or maybe , just maybe, the system failed her.

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