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Original poster

Charlotte Wyatt to go into foster care

793 replies

ginmummy · 16/10/2006 06:48

...because, according to the news, her seperated parents can't give her the care that she needs. It so sad, I want to cry. Poor, poor Charlotte, poor, poor parents.

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 16/10/2006 22:57

I don't really think it's for us or anyone else to judge and not entirely relevant anyway.

sorrell · 16/10/2006 22:57

Nobody knows if they can cope with more children until they have them though. And who is to say that having more children is ANYTHING to do with this case.

coppertop · 16/10/2006 23:04

I don't understand why people feel that the Wyatts shouldn't have had more children without knowing what Charlotte's "outcome" would be. Do you know how impossible it is to predict something like that?

At Charlotte's age my ds1 was barely talking, he didn't acknowledge that other people even existed, and was so tactile defensive that he would literally hit the ground face-first rather than use his hands to stop himself. Can you predict from that what he's like now at the age of 6? Probably not.

kittythescarygoblin · 16/10/2006 23:18

Some outcomes are more predictable than others Coppertop. Miracles do happen I guess but in Baby Charlotte's case this was/is a little unlikely don't you think?
That's right Sorrel,"Nobody knows if they can cope with more children until they have them". All you can do us take an educated guess. Do you think the Wyatt's did this?

sorrell · 16/10/2006 23:21

I have no idea, and neither do you, I think! We don't have the faintest idea why they split up either.

kittythescarygoblin · 16/10/2006 23:26

No idea Sorrell? Really?
We don't have the faintest idea why they split up? What about the reasons they actually gave, couldn't that be a clue?

coppertop · 16/10/2006 23:28

Not all of us believe everything we read in the newspapers.

edam · 16/10/2006 23:30

Haven't a chance to read every word of this long thread but I'm surprised that people think the Wyatts have chosen not to care for Charlotte themselves. From what their solicitor said last time her case was in the news, social services were in charge of the decision, were refusing/unable to provide the support Charlotte needed and were therefore saying 'you can't have her home, we are looking at foster care'. Obv. he was putting their side of the story, but it sure didn't sound like they didn't want her. They are the ones who fought for her life, after all.

Very sad that they have separated but how many couples would survive the strain they've been under?

BATtymumma · 16/10/2006 23:32

im just going to HAVE to walk away from this thread.

I am glad that VVV has managed to show you just how this MUST be considered a SN discussion Kitty and am glad that you are able to take on others points of views.

I will admit that i was very angry at you in the beginning of this thread, i think that was obviouse but i dont think i was ever offensive to you.
i was upset and indeed hurt by many things that were posted but i didn't make a personal attack and so wouldnt like to be included in you comments about people getting at you.

My ds has HFASD, hois needs are insignificant in comparison to Charlottes but they are very real to me. the way you live your life and the choices you make within it are your business and no one elses. in that same vain what right does anyone have to say that those who go on to have more children following the birth of a SN child is selfish?

FOX that comment made me feel sick, im sorry but i do not honestly think i have ever been more offended or maore angry by a single post.

i think maybe we should all agree to disagree.

The wyatts did what they thought, at the time, was the best ofr their daughter. whether we agree with their decisions is irrevlevant.

their marriage has since broken down and MR Wyatt has suffered depression so debilitating he has considered suicide.

This family, who have fought with every ounce of their being, to save their daughter now face the prospect of losing her to a system that believs that can't cope.

How can anyone have anything but sympathy for this family?

mummylin2495 · 16/10/2006 23:34

batty well put i completely agree with you

jampots · 16/10/2006 23:35

could the family/mother not have a nurse assigned to them? surely less costly but still a stable environment for all incuding charlotte's siblings.

rust · 16/10/2006 23:36

What a night girls - I hope you can all shake hands, you know what they say never go to bed on an arguement.....

good night sweet dreams

ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 16/10/2006 23:37

Kitty why re being so... bull headed about this? It's as if you have a personal need to find fault with the Wyatts.. why? None of us can know all the whys and wherefores of the whole sad scenario.. you don't really think that they would tell the press the ins and outs as the reasons behind their marriage split do you? And why should they?? It was probably a combination of a great many factors underpinned by a kind of stress most of us will never have to face. They will have made a statement to satisfy the press. People can speculate all they like but it really isn't anyone else's business.

sorrell · 16/10/2006 23:38

Yes, we do not know why they split. I suspect we cannot even begin to imagine what they have been through in their lives. The lack of sympathy here is stunning.

BATtymumma · 16/10/2006 23:40

i posted earlier that this really doesn't make sense to me at all.

either the whole "going into care" aspect has been wildly exagerated and what theya ctually mean is that Charlotte will be placed within a hopsice as she needs such intensive care.

OR there are more facts that are unknown to us about the family situation, why the marriage broke down etc.

But sadly i have my own rather depressing theory that the 'system' doesn't like loseing and so by stating the family cannot cope with Charlotte and placing her into social care they will now have the decision making pricess over whether or not to issue a DNR or not.

as i say its a rather sad and very synical theory but on the information we have this decision doesn't make sense to me

kittythescarygoblin · 16/10/2006 23:47

Coppertop, Batty, Sorrell and SHPSH. You keep saying we don't know anything about the situation because all we have is what the press is reporting, and they are not to be trusted. Everything is therefore supposition. But we know a few things don't we? Or do we know nothing?

bigbird2003 · 16/10/2006 23:48

On the subject of having more children, it isn't anyone elses concern but maybe when you have been told for 3 years your precious baby most probably will die or she will be always be in hospital, would you sit around and wait for that moment or would you try to carry on a normal (as normal as it can be in that situation) life? And as someone else said, I doubt the child after Charlotte was planned.

As for having a nurse to help, this is where the problem lies (as I see it) To get help for any disabled child in near on impossible. People not in this situation don't understand the fight we have to face to get basic seating, wheelchairs, therapy, education for our children. To get any help you almost have to dump children on social services and threaten to walk away before you get any. And when you do its a pittance. The problem is national too. Bringing up a disabled child isn't hard, getting what is needed to it is!!

My Wyatt probably could cope with the right framework of support. What is so stupid though, if Charlotte is fostered, those foster parents will need the same framework of support (including respite). I hope that if she is fostered, her birth family still have a close relationship with her and maybe one day be able to have the support to take her home.

eidsvold · 16/10/2006 23:52

i just look at this situation and despite having a child with sn ( my first) and daring to go on and have another two....I just hink that there but by the grace of God go I! WHo am I to judge or question this family who have been through things most of us cannot even begin to imagine let along comprehend.

As to other comments - I have no comment because I am so gobsmacked at them. However it does highlight the ignorance and smugness that us parents of children with sn encounter every day.

kittythescarygoblin · 16/10/2006 23:55

The decision to put Charlotte into care seems to be financial. i.e. it's cheaper for the NHS to have Charlotte fostered than it is to support her natural family.
Please, don't tell me I think this is the correct decision because that's not what I've said!

MamaMaiasaura · 16/10/2006 23:55

I agree sorrell. I would be ashamed and embarassed if they came on this site and looked for support and find some of the comments on here. If you cant say anything helpful say nothing.

This family has been under a tremendous amount of pressure. THis situation could happen to anyone.

This is something they posted on their blog Dec 2005

"There are places you can go to to say mean and hurtful things. This is a blog for Charlotte, a little girl sick in the hospital. It is a family blog. It is not a political action/ social commentary blog. We know there are people who don't think our baby ought to be alive; we disagree, and your comments about being irresponsible citizens or unfair to her aren't going to change our minds. This is not a place you can go when you feel you need to lash out at someone with impunity."

kittythescarygoblin · 16/10/2006 23:59

Of course the Wyatts would get 100% support if they came on this site Awen and no-one is denying the extreme pressure they are under.

ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 17/10/2006 00:03

Yes ignorance and smugness eidsvold, hear hear! And I think sometimes people can be like a dog with a bone; they will keep aruging a point just for the hell of it (perhaps they enjoy the notoriety! ) even when they are no more in a position to judge what is really going on than anyone else. And with a subject like this it's a real shame, because this is a real child, a real marriage break up and a nightmarish situation.

eidsvold · 17/10/2006 00:16

you think given the response some sn posters have had to real issues - that that family would get a supportive response - sorry can't see it myself.

coppertop · 17/10/2006 00:27

I can just see the threads now, eidsvold.

kittythescarygoblin · 17/10/2006 02:17

KittytheScaryGoblin has gone to bed, this is Mr KittytheScaryGoblin writing:
Interesting to note the comments about ignorance and smugness, who might these comments be directed at? You really ought to say. It can't possibly be directed at Kitty who's based her comments on the facts. You ladies haven't actually done your resarch have you? might it be that you haven't read about the Wyatts at all? All you have to do is google the subject and you'll find all the info necessary.

And you certainly haven't read Kitty's last few posts. Is the truth too difficult? It's so easy to say that everyone has the right to have as many children as they want without consideration for the consequences. Does this apply to people in Africa too? because if it does you should spend every spare penny you have contributing to supporting the needy on that continent where thousands die of malnutrition. The money spent supporting Charlotte would support thousands in Africa.
Your call: spend thousands per week supporting Charlotte or
spend that money supporting people dying in Africa or

ignore the question because it's too difficult.

Thousands of people on other continents are
dying every day because they don't have a tiny proportion of the money spent on Charlotte.

What's right? what's wrong? who's right? who's wrong?

It's (literally) up to you.

People on this thread have asked which world Kitty lives on. The answer is bad news for all of us, she lives in a world where people live and people die. Every day. Often for the harshest of reasons. Where do you live?