Charlotte Wyatt to go into foster care

[ginmummy]

...because, according to the news, her seperated parents can't give her the care that she needs. It so sad, I want to cry. Poor, poor Charlotte, poor, poor parents.

Fox, I would imagine they brought the media in initially in order to garner public support which may help save their child.. and the media have stayed on it.

Yes you do VVV, but you disagree with dignity.

Caligula, I disagree that my responses have been obstrutive in their nature. I have had the same question asked over again and not, I beleive because I haven't answered, although considering the lentgh of thid thread it would have been impossible for me to answer all. I have said to you before that I have based my assumptions on the reports I have read. When we read about what somebody does we all make assumptions about why that has happened.
What has happened to the family is awful, but it doesn't mean I have to think the parents are blameless. I have talked a length about how I feel their actions show to me that they did not consider properly the ourcome of their decsion making.
Perhaps I do lack your compassion in this instance and perhaps my initial posts were inflammatory, they were not meant as such. I do not post things just to get people wound up. I am interested in discussion and I believe that we should all be allowed to put forward our views and also to defend them too.

I also think that you don't just call in the media - they're in charge. The media got involved because this is one of those fascinating, heart-wrenching cases which a) sells papers and b) is a current issue - who has the balance of decision-making power, medical profession or patient, state or citizen - it's always an interesting issue, that's why euthanasia, abortion etc. are always hot topics, it's an endless debate.

Shinyhappy - yeah, you're probably right. I just wonder sometimes about people's motives; i.e. are they doing what's best for that child or do they just like the media attention and their 15 minutes of fame?

Who knows, maybe the added strain of the media sniffing at their door also contributed to the marital break down. It does happen quite a lot.

I don't condemn them for having another baby so soon after, but do think it was incredibly unwise, just in terms of spreading themselves so thinly when they were already under such a lot of strain.

"I am staggered that so many people think that having a severely disabled child means that it is immoral to have any more children! "
Who said that Sorrel? perhaps you are making assumptions about what has been said.

OK fair enough kitty it's just that I didn't feel you were defending your views iyswim (I have no problem with that), just avoiding the issues and refusing to engage with some of the arguments such as that put forward by Bigbird etc. But I accept that on such a long involved thread you can't answer every point everyone throws at you so it may have been an impression rather than a fact.

Message deleted

Thankyou for considering what I have said caligula, I do appreciate that .

um i think i mentioned in my post that i found it odd having more children that quickly when you have a child who requires 24hour care already. i know i wouldnt want to/or have the strength to care for any more than the one. i personally,and i say personally because that is my own opinion, would want to plough all my time/effort/love into the child i already had.

um i think i mentioned in my post that i found it odd having more children that quickly when you have a child who requires 24hour care already. i know i wouldnt want to/or have the strength to care for any more than the one. i personally,and i say personally because that is my own opinion, would want to plough all my time/effort/love into the child i already had.

oops!

Giddy, I don't consider my first post as nasty no, controversial probably, but nasty no. There is a huge difference in being inadvertantly offensive and doing so deliberately. I might be guilty of the former, but not of the latter.

I do think there is an issue about people expecting the state to pick up the tab generally. e.g have 10 kids then expect the local council to find a 10 bed house.

But Charlotte's Dad works doesn't he? So he's asking for NHS/SS support for her care, which is a different issue.

My experience of the NHS is dreadful and I wouldn't rely on them for anything. They wase vast amounts of money IMO...but that's a whole other thread.

I also think people can be forgiven for making unwise, foolish, bad, or downright fuck-witted decisions when they are going through hell. TBH what has most shocked me about this thread is the prevailing attitude (which may be reflective of the current norm, I don't know) which simply doesn't take account of the effect of anguish on people. The Wyatts may be total idiots for all I know, or the most sensible people in the world, but no matter how sensible and clever anyone is, when tragedy strikes your family, the wisest person in the world is going to make a fuck-up of some decisions. And I find it deeply depressing that there seems to be very little sympathy or understanding of that - just a robust "why don't they pull themselves together" attitude. Really this thread has depressed me.

This whole case has depressed me - from start to finish

Caligula, you are right in saying that, I do agree with you. This thread shouldn't depress you though, nearly everyone feels great sympathy towards the Wyatts don't they?

Well, it is quite depressing.

Shall we go and spoil a bar thread by being depressed and maudlin?

Message withdrawn

To be fair it's only mine though isn't it?

Thats a fabulous idea caligula...see you there?

Loads of people on this thread have looked down their noses at the Wyatts for having more children! Loads.
So, because they have the appalling misfortune of having a severely disabled child who had to live in a hospital cot, they were never supposed to enjoy the sheer pleasures of parenthood that all of you lot enjoy? Never to cuddle your baby or have them fall asleep in your arms? Never walk down the street holding their child's hand? Never buy them an ice-cream or push them on a swing or see them graduate, marry, have grandchildren? No, that's just for us lucky ones, eh? What an awful, awful sentiment.
I know someone whose second child has suffered brain damage for an unknown reason and is pregnant with her third. Her reasons include, to provide a sibling for her first child to help support a family in which, after she and her husband have gone, one member may have complex needs, to provide a companion for her first child, and because it is a ray of hope and joy when life is absolutely shit and grim. I know someone else whose first child is severely disabled, both physically and mentally. She was very afraid another child would be equally disabled, but she desperately wanted the experience of parenting a child without disabilities, which she now, happily, has. But because these women are middle-class, comfortably off, educated and employed, I guess she's OK? Should David Cameron not have his other children?

The urge to have another baby when you have had a severely disabled child can be all consuming and not always rational. I felt as if I wanted to 'do it again and do it right this time' even though that msot certainly wasn't going to happen in my case.. It wasn't about 'replacing' him or not loving him.. it wasn't that at all. I think it has a lot to do with grieving (like a real bereavement) for the child I had thought he would/should have been and for all the things he would never be able to do.

It's not having other children at all that bothers me about the Wyatts but how quickly they did it when they were unsure of what the eventual outcome for Charlotte was likely to be/what her longer term needs would be etc. I don't se how they could have had the opportunity to have considered these issues although I appreciate that the pregnancy may well not have been planned.

Sorrell, I can understand the need and who's to say I wouldn't do the same thing. Neverthless you have to work out whether you can cope with having more children and look after your disabled child. I have a good friend who has a severly autistic second son. She so wanted more children, but felt that she was unable to do so and cope with the pressures she had in her life. She didn't have any more children.

I suspect a child concieved just a month after the birth of another child is not likely to have been planned.