We're not satirical inventions. But I love having a laugh as well, but I also believe in the principled policy positions of the People's Army. Nobody can be a "recruiting sergeant" for the People's Army because they are the people and they are the smartest, savviest bunch of people out there.
They can spot spin and "recruiting pitches" and they laugh at them. That is why Cameron and the Etonians can't reach them, can't appeal to them, because the People's Army are immune to spin. The People's Army know why they vote People's Army, they are not swayed by "recruitment spin".
I'll give you an example of Classic People's Army.
This was shown on the BBC 10 pm News on the Euro elections night just after the polls had closed. People's Army viewers all over the country were tuned to their TV sets to see the results of how they were about to "tear up their lawns". The BBC news started off with pictures and video of the usual spinners, politicians of the Esatblishment parties etc, some of them lying through their teeth as is their habit. People's Army viewers had the sound turned down for that because they don't like spin.
Then they showed a voter at the polling booth somewhere in the country. She was tucking into a large cream bun, had what looked like a bottle of alcohol in her right hand and was climbing into the passenger seat of a car. A young, keen, BBC reporter (probably from Oxbridge and probably sent down from the Westmnster bubble patch to speak to real people) rushed over and said
"Excuse me, madam, can I ask how you voted?"
She looked at him with slight annoyance as if the answer should have been obvious.
"OOKIP," she said with a mouth full of bun, some of which was ejected in all directions as she spoke.
The eager BBC reporter (on an assignment to meet the real people) then followed up with
"Why's that?" expecting a detailed policy based evidence based case.
She looked at him with slightly more annoyance as if the answer should have been bleedin' obvious.
"Because the other lot can go and stuff themselves" and the car raced off, tires screeching, double exhaust blazing without a care for emissions and "saving the planet", faster than Lewis Hamilton pulling off at Silverstone.
People'a Army TV viewers across the entire country were rolling on the floor laughing. That woman got it, she had it, she knew it, she had her finger on the pulse, she spoke People's Army Common Sense, she summed it up. She was People's Army.
Twitter went wild, People's Army supporters demanded that she should receive the highest accolade the People's Army bestow, the largest "fruitcake" in their locker.
They can't "recruit" the People's Army, they can't "spin" the People's Army, because a savvier, more common sense, switched on people you can't find.
I've heard reports that they even show that video to first year PPE students at Oxford as an assignment. I've heard that the Professor asks the eager students to come up with a "recruiting sergeant" pitch that could win that woman over to an Establishment party. Most of the students (many from our finest public school such as Eton etc) are completely baffled, they've never met am ordinary person like her, the salt of the earth, the People's Army.
Some of them suggest a long spiel about income distribution levels, endogenous growth etc. The more advanced PPE students mention predistribution, responsible capitalism and the save-all option of "save the planet". The Professor scores all the students' attempts and gives them all zero. The Professor tells the students that the woman was People's Army, the definition of common sense. The Professor rightly said, you can't "recruit" People's Army, there is nothing you can do, they are too smart for all that. The Professor told the students of the oldest political adage, one they had never heard of, "if you can't beat them, join them" and that's exactly what they all did. They are in the People's Army now.